They were here!

They were here!
After a year from the date we visited them in Dublin they came visiting this week.
They were here as part of a re-union for the family of Dr M - with his parents and brothers gathered in Dubai. Despite their busy schedule, we appreciate the two nights they were able to spend at our home. A pleasure and an honour!
The picture below was taken at last night's dinner with Dr M's parents and siblings. Dr M had a wish to have steak for dinner - a yearning due to lack of 'Halal' steak in Dublin.
(At the far end of the table was Dr M partly hidden, KD in white tudung, and facing her was LiL with my 'umrah hair' next to LiL. NAMI and Luqman next to each other at the head table).






Luqman and NAMI
It was so heart warming for all of us to see Luqman and NAMI renewing their friendship which was started in Dublin a year ago - when we were guests at KD's home. As soon as they finished their dinner, which we noticed they had rushed through, they both disappeared from the dining table. We soon found them on the bay of a window overlooking the Ski Dubai.
The young English lady was a spectator to two young hearts in all of their innocence nurturing a friendship separated by distance but renewed by fond memories of yesterdays and shared optimism for tomorrow. I envied the young lady - for I wished I could have witnessed their conversation.

The adults raced away!
We had an exciting time at the Dubai Autodrome this morning - Go Karting away. Dr M and KD were neck to neck, cheek to cheek from start to finish. No, it was not due to others giving way - but simply they were better at taking corners! hehehehe.....and legally too.
But in the end, the guys decided to share the first place podium for a photo pose! That is sportsmanship for you.....

From Blog Friends to Family Friends!

It does not matter where and how friendship begun - what matters is how it ends. And hopefully ours will never end. They were the first people whom LiL and I have extended our invitation to our silver wedding jubilee at the end of this year.

To carry the legacies forward!

For NAMI and Luqman, may they both find enough reasons to stay good friends.

Distance will get in the way again and again. But for as long as they are able to believe in the magic of twinkling stars - no distance will ever be too far!

Tomorrow we'll say goodbye to KD and her family as they board the plane back to wet and windy Dublin. But in their faraway home - there will always be warmth. For that is what they carry with them anywhere they are. Warmth and love for everyone!

Tomorrow they may be gone- but fond memories will forever stay!

O K - K O!

O K - aku telah faham!
lalu aku tidak akan bertanya lagi
noktahnya di sini.

O K - semua telah terang
tak perlu bersuluh di waktu siang
malam pun bermandikan cahaya bulan
sudah terjawap semua so'alan.

O K - atau - K O
bukan nya kau peduli lagi
apalah akar bila sudah mendapat tali
apalah tanduk bila gading sudah dimiliki.

K O - tumpas aku dalam gelanggang
begaikan peninju tua lemah sendi rapuh tulang
terjatuh di langgar bayang-bayang
gemuruh tepukan - tewasnya si lebai malang.

Dan kau yang O K, bersiual-siulan
berjalan pun mengikut rentak tarian
gembira sakan!

Dan aku yang K O, terlentang
hati tua bila merajuk
bagaikan pekasam jeruk
K O - kalah teruk!

Tapi malam ini

walaupun K O aku O K

kerana aku sudah mengerti
kau - tidak memerlukan aku lagi!
Namun aku masih terguris hati
kerana, dalam sekam ada api
dalam dendam ada budi
dalam diam aku mengerti
noktahnya di sini!

Lessons from a green Beetle!

'Along' has been working for a week now. His office is a 10 minutes diversion from mine, so everyday for the past week I sent him to work and in the evening picked him up. But today he braved himself into driving our green beetle - by trailing me for direction.
No drama there!
In the evening, just before I left the office I called him, "Are you ok to drive alone or do you want me to wait?" I asked him, despite having told him in the morning that I was leaving early today.
"I am ok, ayah balek lah. See you at home" He tried to sound confident, but an ayah can sense the anxiety in his voice.

On the spur of the moment I decided to be there - in the shadow and follow him without him knowing. "I will follow him, just in case he lose his direction" I told LiL when I called her to say I will be late afterall.

I drove to where he parked the green beetle and parked myself out of sight. I reclined the seat to ensure I could not be seen. Then the waiting game started....
"I feel like a private investigator!" I sent a sms to LiL.
I tried to call a couple of friends.....their numbers were either busy or left unanswered. Perhaps they were stuck in traffic jam.
Then from the corner of my eyes I saw him approaching his car. I ducked lower....
He opened the car door and glanced around....I ducked even lower. I counted to twenty....and took a peep at his green beetle. It was gone...!!! Holy Mackerel......The car I was stalking were gone!!!

At that point I called LiL, " Dia dah hilang!"
"HAHAHAHA ....." LiL laughed, loud and got louder by the minutes.

I drove back - feeling a bit like a fool. *only a bit* hehehehe.
I reassured myself that 'Along' has a mobile and can call if he needs direction. I also checked this morning that the fuel tank was half full. On top of that I have shown him a few routes for the last one week, including the one which I missed a turn and had to make a U-turn a few kilometers out.

I arrived home to LiL's warm embrace at the door. "What happened?" She enquired, in the most symphathetic of tones. At that moments all my stress and tension of missing 'along' dissappeared.
"Spy malang....." I quipped. And we laughed together.

I was having dinner on the terrace when I saw the green beetle coming into our parking. A triumphant 'Along' came out and made a Victory sign!!! "I made it!!!" He shouted from below. From the terrace above LiL and I applauded.
"Well Done Along!"

When he came up to join me, I asked, "Which route did you take?"
"The one which I ayah had to take the U-turn!" He laughed. He too missed a turn.

lesson #1.
I have to learn to trust 'Along' and let him fly. To step aside and let him live his life....
lesson #2.
"If you duck too low, you may miss the game! If you stick out too high, you are an easy shot! .... the trick is to get the right balance"
lesson #3.
Coming home to a warm embrace wipes all the stress away! <---this one is for the wife. hehehehe
lesson #4.
If you show your child the wrong way, even if unintended, he may follow it! So be careful with what you do.....

I was there where he was today.

There are a few personalities that I have always wanted to meet. Cameroon Diaz, Angelina Jolie figured quite highly. So too are Pele and Bill Gate.

This morning I was fortunate to have been there where he was. Bill Gate was speaking to the business leaders in Dubai. On a chilly morning, he brought warmth and energized everyone with his passion and conviction about what he loves best - IT and Philanthropy. There was an occassional humour, and for a man declared as the wealthiest, he was disarmingly simple and charmingly humble. His hair was swept across his 'invaluable skull' as if being blown by his brain waves. His glasses huge and seemingly old-fashion, his suit does not look as crispy as the guy who introduced him and his neck tie was way too high above his belt. With the same simplicity, he spoke using common people's language about how he envision the next decade - even I actually understood IT and its' futuristic trends and promises.
He introduced 'surface' where every desk-top will be a computer as opposed to every desk top will have a computer. According to the man himself, Surface will be the next big exciting thing. He spoke about how gadgets will get cleverer, recognising voices as their commands as opposed to key-boards. And because he was Bill Gates, the audience believed although most of what he said actually sounded like science fiction......

Sitting there in the audience, for a fleeting moment my mind took me back to an evening at a friends house here in Dubai. The friend has a collection of records - "piring hitam' as people of my generation called them. Upon seeing one of those, Luqman said, "That is the biggest CD I have ever seen". We broke out laughing - much to his confusion as to why would a bunch of adults laughed at an innocent remark from him. Indeed, the generation of i-pod kids would have no way of knowing some of those things unless they visit museums.

While listening to Bill gate describing the future - I had flashes of the past like a slide-show being replayed. Little wonder that he is the richest man on earth and I am not. He thinks forward while I prefer to rewind the good ole' days.

He spoke with refreshing optimism - one well grounded on his past successes. One of the challenges he said, is to bring technology not only to the rich and 'have-lots' but also to the poor and 'have-nots'. And he told all of us he will be spending full time on 'Bill Gates Foundation'. Bravo Mr. Gate......!

Today I saw the richest man on earth. I listened to him and applauded for what he has achieved and applauded even louder for the future he envisioned.

And thank you organizers for throwing in a generous spread of buffet lunch at the end of the conference.

And if you think you are a smart as Bill Gate, then try this one out! If you can figure out how it works.....let me know.

(Pictures taken with N95 ).

Spreading Love....

"Blogger Jiwang!" Aku pernah di beri label begitu. hahahaha.....and my responce to that is, "Memang pun!".
Di sebalik wajah serious dan ala-ala watak jahat dalam siri wayang purba melayu - aku di anugerahkan dengan hati yang lembut. AlHamdullillah.....

"You can help others without falling in love with them la abang...." My wife LiL once told me. Actually more than once when she realized that I became emotionally involved with people I tried to assist or help. In a rational and level-headed way she added, "I don't mind you wanted to help ....but if you are not careful it can create problem for the person you wanted to help also...without you intending to".
So in trying to spread love - I have in the past stumbled and fallen. On another occassion LiL has also reminded me, "Laa....tak kan la you nak everyone to love you...". ermmm betul jugak tu....hehehehe

In my view, Love - is a multiplier. The more you give - the more you get. The more you get, the more you can give. And I have not found anyone yet who can simply live on the diet of bread and butter without love and affection. Every body needs love.....But not everyone can handle love when they found it. You hold it too tight, it will crush. You let it too free, it can fly too far and may not find its way back. Despite everything - I still believe it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Love - is actually never lost, the memories stay.

I am most honoured and elated with the Gift of Love I have received from Nuke.

I would like to offer the same gift to ALL my dear readers .... Please claim this gift from me, given with generousiy. Post the 'Gift of Love' in your blog and join me in spreading "Love". The world needs it even more now.....

"Love is - hanging on at the end of the rope with an eternal hope that everything will be for the better!"

I dedicate a special LOVE to adik Sharlinie. May her abductor find remnants of love in his or her soul and bring her back to her parents.

Amirul turned fifteen.

For the last one year Amirul has been answering question about his age, "I am fifteen!". And Alhamdullillah, he did turn fifteen yesterday!

From now on I won't be surprised if he start saying to people that he is sixteen.
His maturity maturity is well beyond that. He is calm, thoughtful, and emotionally independent. At school he has been a high achiever and well liked by both his teachers and friends. He is naturally helpfull and considerate.



Amir was born in Tawakkal Hospital - Jalan Pahang, KL. He was the first of our children who was born and raised in Kuala Lumpur. 'Along', Angah and Achik were all born in Melaka, and spent their early years with their grand-parents and LiL and I were weekend parents.

On the day of his birth, I planted a mango tree in the front garden of our town house in Taman Melati. Fifteen years later, the tree is there in the greenest of health - but has been shy in bearing fruits. Not a single fruit yet. Amirul - Alhamdulillah is also in great health and I hope he will get to see the fruits for his passion in learning and pursuit of excellence.
Amirul is known amongst his siblings as the bookworm! He has read all of Harry Potter's and not once but twice. He has also finished all of Dan Brown's. Currently he is reading a novel by David and Leigh Eddings. He does not leave house without a book. People often asked, how did we teach him to like reading. Besides being ardent readers

ourselves, LiL and I didn't do anything specific.



Amirul simply loves mathematics. He is very good with puzzles and quizzes and loves to solve them. In our family he is the undisputed champion in SUDOKU. For his future career, he is still undecided - but leaning towards heavy science and mathematics. In March this year when he

has to spend a week in an industry as part of his school assignment - he has opted to get an assignment in an Account / Finance department. Hopefully the exposure to real business can help to guide his decision.

Yesterday LiL baked Amirul's birthday cakes herself and Luqman did the decorating on one of them.
When it comes to birthday presents, we have always been practical and buy what the birthday boy / girl needed rather than surprising them with what we feel they may like.
And Amirul has not decided what he wants yet. Angah on the other hand has decided. For her belated birthday present she wants a new laptop. Her current one was damaged the morning after she used it to chat with me and hinting that she wanted a new one. The way it got damaged? A glass of water spilled on it......!!! But that calls for another story.

This morning I am updating this entry while waiting for them to get ready to go to a very special breakfast invitation. It is special - we are going to meet the faraway.doc and her family who arrived in Dubai last night and staying at her BIL's house here.

For Amirul - Happy birthday son! May your journey be filled with love and His blessings and your destiny be met with lots of joy and happiness.

"Knock Knock......."

"Why does a golfer has to wear two pairs of pants?" My seven year old son Luqman asked.
"Because he is cold" I replied.
He giggled to himself. "No lah ayah! He wears two pairs of pants just in case he get a hole-in-one!". We laughed together. "That was so funny...." I said.

I had 30 wonderful minutes of private time with Luqman tonight. Just the two of us - locked in his bedroom. The light was switched off. We lied there next to each other, watching the full moon from his bedroom window.

"Knock knock...." He continued.
"Who is there...." I said.
"Luke..." He giggled.
"Luke who....?" I waited.
"Look thru the key hole you will know..." He was enjoying it.

After more exchanges of "knock knock ....", he suddenly asked me "Why you don't travel anymore ayah?"
"Because I like to stay home...."
"So last time you didn't like to stay home then?" He was quicker than I could think.
Ermmm.......I was trapped on that one and had to get out of it.
"Not like that. I changed job to the current one which allow me to stay home more - so that we can have more time together" I said, and hugged him.
"Yea....I like it this way". He whispered, then threw a spanner, "When I grow up, I will find a job which allow me to stay home - so that I can play knock knock with you at night".
I swallowed hard. I was choked.
"That is so sweet of you....." I managed a few words.

I watched him drifted into his sleep tonight. Something I have not done for a long time.......

In our own bed.
"Knock knock......." I said to LiL as I snuggled next to her under the duvet.
"The door is closed....and locked" She answered spontaneously.

Hehehehehe. I slept smiling......

About Leading.....

Leadership requires
- IQ ( academic )
IQ will get a person through the door, this is a minimum qualification. It does not gurantee or differentiate the quality of leadership. What this assure is that the person can count, can read, and can write. He or she most likely is also able to reason with logics and analyze complexities and simplicities alike.

- EQ ( social skill and self awareness, emotional intelligence )
EQ differentiate leaders. Those with lower EQ are often unaware of their impact on people around them. As an example, a leader with low EQ may sleep in meeting without realizing that he is giving negative signals to others in the audience. He may lack ability to network and socialize with his national and international counterparts - resulting in ineffective leadership. A leader with high EQ are always present - physically, spiritually and emotionally. He does not abandon his citizens in difficulty or in festivity. He will be there in flesh and in a flash whenever there are natural calamities, be it flood or plights (of the his subjects).

- Ability to envision, influence and implement.
If there is a need he is able to come up with his own vision for the betterment of his subjects. When a vision ( 2020 ) is already exisiting, he picks it up and waste no time in implementing that vision. Effective leaders bring positive outcome - better employment opportunities, more prosperous lives to his subjects, positive perception internationally, and a sense of security and well being. Ineffective leaders bring chaos, stress, sadness, panic, and a sense of inadequacy. True measures are economics , quality of life and crime rate barometers.

- PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL INTEGRITY
He who wants to be an effective leader MUST Walk the Talk. If he talks about anti corruption, he must demostrate in words and in deeds that he is indeed anti corruption and has zero tolerance towards such behaviour. If he talks about Islam Hadhari - he and his family are the best examples of such values. If he talks about serving others, he make it a point not to serve himself and his close family members. Whatever he preaches - he practices. That is implicit in the word - LEADING!

Leadership is a choice one make - preferably motivated by a passion to do good for others, the people one lead.

Long Distance Love....

"Absence makes the heart grows fonder....", I quoted an old adage.
"Absence makes my mind wonders....." Said my neighbour Uteh.
We both laughed. I spent long hours by the pool side accompanying her who was accompanying her only son swimming. That was during the time we lived in Singapore.
And she knew exactly why I laughed.....and at that too, she laughed out loud.

Uteh learned the hard way. When her husband changed job into a regional role, he was required to travel for days at a stretch and for weeks out of every month. On average, he was home only 8 nights in a month - the weekends. Not used to having her man away from home at nights, she was anxious for his safety and paralysed with jealousy. Her mind worked overtime in scripting all sort of images - could he be having dinner with another woman, was he dancing with a bar-girl, who could be with him in his bed? And during those time she turned into a monster - losing her patience with her son and was not able to focus on doing anything.

When her calls were not answered, she assumed the worse. And when he answered, she would snapped, "Who were you with last night?" A question which drove her husband up the walls.

Once, she took a flight secretly to Langkawi where her husband traveled for a Sale's conference.
She checked into a neighbouring hotel. One morning, she saw her husband coming out of the hotel, adorning a songkok and with a pensive looking face. He looked like someone in a hurry. She was already in a taxi - and instructed the driver to follow her husband's chauffeur driven jeep. She was certain, in her mind, that her husband was going to 'nikah'. She tried hard to remain calm, but her whole body was shaking.....her throat dry, and her voice was shrieking.
That day was the turning point for her and for her husband. What she saw - influenced their future from then on.

She ended her story with a hearty laughter. Uteh's trademark amongst our neighbours was her bellowing laughter - which had proven to be contagious.
"You know - he went to a funeral! - Aku ingat dia nak pergi menikah kau!!".
"So what happened" After I recovered from sakit perut ketawa, I asked her.
" I checked out from my hotel, and waited for him to come back at his hotel. I told him I missed him so much I had to come". She smiled at her own quick thinking.
"Wah....and that night what happened?" I could not resist that question.
" We celebrated new year la that night - I saw fireworks everywhere.....hahahahaha " And she broke into another one of her laughter, and then she added, "And he promised me to take along on his business trips in the future" An offer which she kept up her sleeve but seldom took. "Important you know to let him think I was going to follow - so that he does not make any dates! hahaha. But I seldom follow lah"
"So you don't trust him 100% then?" I teased.
"Not about trust lah, but you can say that I don't take him for granted!" She proved to smart yet again.

Living a long distance relationship is tough. It requires complete commitment and trust from both sides. It is important to keep in constant communication because any long period of incommunicado can cause the minds to wonder and gives space to whispers from the devils. In this era of internet, keeping in touch is easy and cheaper. Chat on-line, make voice calls using skype or the like, keep a blog going so that couples can keep track of lives on the other side of the world. This mom's blog is dedicated to her hubby - is an excellent example of what I am talking about. Pro-active couples turn long distance relationship into an opportunity for romance - sending hand written love letters, sending and receiving 'care parcels', little surprises such as asking a relative to deliver a home baked cake for her birthday and others - limited only by imagination.
Making dates can also work. Have a fixed time of the day for phone calls, as an example. This is especially effective if the long distance couples are over a different time zones.

"So....tell me how did you and LiL work it out when you travel...which is quite a lot also kan?" She asked me the same question. That was when LiL appeared with some freshly fried cokodok pisang....I repeated the question to LiL and asked her to answer.
"I don't have to do anything ......he has six children to call him at different time!" That afternoon, LiL had the last laugh. " Hahahahaha!"

*will be away from home until sunday night - so kira long distance la jugak for 3 malam nie - hehehe. Aku hilangkan diri untuk melepaskan rindu*

Global Village...

For three months every year the globe descended in Dubai. China, Africa, Egypt, India and many more arrived in loads and lots - touching the hearts of Dubai residence and capturing their imagination into spending money. People come from near and far - jam packing car parks and enjoying the festival like ambience. It is the Global Village of Dubai!

We were there one evening - the same evening I received an SMS about Ben@zir Bhutt0's death. In fact we were having an Islamabad Beriyani at the Global Village when the SMS came in. How ironic......and tragic!

The sadness of the unexpected news aside - we had a jolly time enjoying more the ambience than any real shopping.

I am posting this belated entry to capture on record an evening - which could easily be lost with

fading of memories. An evening when a leader of democracy known to the world was killed - for standing up! *pardon the pun*

Demi Hijrah ini.....

Dengan restu Mu aku ke sini
satu Hijrah lagi.....
mencari pelabuhan di pesisir usia
meniti memori perjalanan berliku
hati meronta di gurun berdebu
tapak-tapak di pasir semakin pudar
angin menderu membawa khabar
"Demi Masa! (1) Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian;
(2) Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh dan
mereka pula berpesan-pesan
dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan
dengan sabar."
Ketika kita di selimut bunga-bunga mimpi
bintang-bintang menyaksi.....
Sesunguhnya kita manusia yang rugi!
pengHijrahan ini
melewati persimpangan ke arah abadi
Sekian lama merantau menjejaki
berlari, merentasi, terus memburu
di celah-celah pasir dan batu
di warna warna pelangi dan permaidani
mencari punca simpulan mati
ingin membebaskan tambatan hati
yang buta, bisu dan tuli
yang inginkan itu dan ini.
Dengan restu Mu....aku ke sini
PengHijrahan merentasi
dari dunia fantasi ke dunia realiti
dari dunia realiti ke alam abadi
mencari pelabuhan di pesisir usia
buat sekian kalinya
"Demi masa........"
jangan kita kerugian buat selamanya.
PengHijrahan ini
pandulah kami
jejak kaki dan gerak hati
bicara kata dan naluri rasa
biarlah ada Mu di dalam mimpi
semoga damai di pelabuhan abadi
menemui Mu Ya Rabbi......
di suatu hari yang sudah pasti.

To usher in 2008 we were on the Jumeira Beach next to the iconic Burj Al Arab. For the special occassion to welcome 1429 Hijrah new year - we joined other Malaysian families camping overnight on the beach at the Hamriyah Port in Ajman. It was our first time camping out - and that too we chose a chilly cold night to do it. The fun started well before we got there, by means of pantun exchanges via emails between would be campers. Setting up tents were done with great enthusiasm - ours was one of the first to be up, and definitely the biggest - ample space for all six of us. A little thrilling moments when my Honda SUV got stuck in the sands. After four men power pushed it to safety, I used the opportunity to convince LiL for the 66th times that we need to buy a 4x4. She dusted the sand from my shoes, ruffled up my hair and said simply but firmly, "No!".

Perhaps, the most enchanting bits were the bonfire and BBQ. Each family brought a few bundles of firewood - at AED5 per bundle it was value for money for keeping us warm and giving us the much appreciated ambience. Having a bonfire going by the sea side - flickering of flames and rumbling of waves were just magical! I paused to reflect - it dawned on me that one of the main attractions of our lives in Dubai is this care-free fun life-styles which brought us back to our teen-age years. Moving in a pack - camping out, having picnics, doing BBQ, weekend's soccer games, pot-luck meals, or simply exchanging sms with friends such as "Jom - breakfast Puri sama2". And it happens! All fun and games of Malaysian in Dubai.

The BBQ was generous.....chicken wings, beef skewers and sausages were delicious. The children had a wonderful time roasting marsh-mallows. The fishersmen amongst us could not resist the call of the wild - and went fishing from the embankment.

For me, the half-hour we spent listening to Bro Hasnol's Tazkirah was very reflective and touching. His story about the Prophet's first Hijrah brought silent tears to my eyes. Sitting around the bon-fire, under an open sky, with the sound of rolling waves in the back ground made me realize how extra special we are to be alive - for yet another new year.

I was half asleep in my own tent when I heard voices and laughter of my friends - sharing instant noddles by the bonfire. I zipped my jacket on, and crawled out to join them. Nik's instant noodle that night was amongst the best I ever had at 2am. I noticed that Along was not in the tent. He confided the next day, he felt awkward to join us there - LiL, myself and the three younger boys. A point I took seriously and noted. He has grown up into a young man himself. The next time we go camping, we agreed to buy a smaller tent to give LiL and I privacy while the boys will be sharing the big one. Now, I may just hurry the next time, hehehehe!

Despite having little sleep - I felt so well rested. Maal Hijrah greeted us with a new possibilities and promises - and we greeted the new year of 1429 with new hopes!

di bawah bintang-bintang di tepi pantai Port Al Hamriyah.

malam Maal Hijrah.

1429.

"Tak Sempat Dia Menyambut Tahun Baru Hijrah"

Tempias menerjah masuk ke beranda. Nenek Pidah berkisut ke tepi pintu. Berkiuuk bunyi daun pintu yang cuba di tutup, tak ubah bagai bunyi dari lutut Tok Ayah setiap kali dia bangun dari duduk. Tok Ayah, lazimnya duduk bersila berkain pelikat, bersinglet dan menggunakan serban usang menutup badan.
Nenek Pidah pula berkain sarung batik, berbaju usang berbunga halus. Ke uzuran mereka berdua begitu ketara – dan kesejukan musim tengkujuh Januari menggigit tulang dan sendi – menyiksa badan yang sudah di makan usia.

Nenek Pidah menolak daun pintu – tapi angin dari luar lebih kuat dari kudratnya. Dia merenung kearah Tok ayah – bagaikan meminta pertolongan. Sebaik mata mereka bertemu – kedua-duanya menguntum senyum menyeringai menampakkan gusi. Yang berbedza cuma senyuman Tok Ayah di iringi linangan air mata yang bagaikan curahan hujan di luar – menerjah ke pipi berkedut seribu terus ke atas riba lipatan silanya.
Sayu hati Tok Ayah kerana walaupun dia ingin seribu daya untuk menolong Nenek Pidah – lipatan lututnya bagaikan di belenggu, tak terdaya dia membuat gerakan.

Nenek Pidah berkisut ke belakang pintu. Dengan kudrat yang tersisa menolak daun pintu dengan sandaran badan yang mungkin lebih ringan dari baldi yang menadah air mencurah2 dari hujung saluran atap. Tulang bersalutkan kulit yang kendur dan kecut. Sendi-sendi yang lebih besar dari lain-lain anggota badan. Hampir separuh daun pintu tertutup. Nenek Pidah memandang lagi ke arah Tok Ayah yang masih tersenyum, dan dengan anggukan kepala menyokong usaha isteri tersayang dan teman hidupnya dari usia lapan belas tahun hingga sekarang. Perjalanan hidup yang terlalu lama untuk di hitung namun terlalu dekat ke penghujung. Tiba-tiba, satu deruan angin yang kuat di sertai dentuman guruh dan panahan Halilintar – menerpa persekitaran pondok usang mereka. Nenek Pidah terpelanting di tolak terjahan angin. Celepuk! Jatuhnya tidak jauh dari ribaan Tok Ayah. Tok Ayah, mendengus, berkisut dan memanjangkan huluran tangan untuk mengusap muka Nenek Pidah. Mata Nenek Pidah terbuka, sayu dan lesu …..namun tidak berkelipan. Senyuman di bibirnya bersemadi…..bagaikan terus menghulur kasih untuk suami tersayang. Tok Ayah lah satu2nya lelaki yang dia berikan segala jiwa dan raga. Hanya Tok Ayah yang mencuit, mencuri dan menyimpan hatinya.
Tok Ayah, membaringkan badan di samping jasad kaku isteri. Dia membisikkan sesuatu….pesanan untuk mengingati Allah. Satu kucupan ke dahi dan pipi Nenek Pidah – merupakan kucupan terahir dari dua insan yang saling menyintai – hingga ke ahir hayat – hidup mati bersama. Runtunan hati kesunyian menyebabkan Tok Ayah menyusul isteri tak lama kemudian - waktu masih merah tanah perkuburun.

Imam kampung menceritakan bagaimana detik-detik ahir kehidupan mereka kepada Sudin dan isteri. Sudin, anak Tok Ayah dan Nenek Pidah. Isteri Sudin orang dari seberang – berpakai mendedah atas dan bawah. Bibir bergincu gelap, dan rambut berwarna perang. Sudin pulang untuk menagih pusaka. Isteri Sudin, terus berdiri – lantai rumah Imam kampong terlalu berdebu untuk pakaiannya. Sudin, tidak ingin tahu – namun Imam menceritakan sekadar memberi imbasan dengan harapan ada keinsafan.

Sebaik Sudin dan isteri beredar, Imam mengurut janggut dan mengurut dada. Sebak rasa dalam hatinya. Imam cukup mengenali Tok Ayah dan Nenek Pidah, dan dalam kehidupan mereka yang serba keperitan belum sekali mereka merungut tentang anak mereka Sudin.
Pernah Imam terdengar doa Tok Ayah selepas bersolat Jemaah – dalam waktu waktu terahir dia bertenaga untuk berpimpin ke surau kampung – Doa nya memohon supaya Sudin hidup dan mati dalam keimanan. Supaya anak-anak Sudin akan menyayangi Sudin lebih dari Sudin menyayanginya.

Imam baru saja mengambil wuduk untuk Solat Asar, bila ada basikal bagaikan ribut di kayuh ke perkarangan Surau.
“Pak Imam – ada kemalangan di simpang jalan keluar. Kereta Mewah langgar pokok – dua2 drebar dan penumpang mati”. Budak itu termengah-mengah.
“Tak sempat dia menyambut Tahun Baru Hijrah. Dari Mu kami datang dan kepada Mu kami pulang !” Bisik Pak Imam.

......
Lakunan dan sendiwara di Dunia mungkin memberikan inbuhan yang cepat.
Soal hidup dan mati – itu urusan diri, hati dan budi. Minda di beri untuk berfikir. Hati diberi untuk merasa. Renungkan ibadah diri dengan ibu bapa, dan orang tua!
Mungkin Tok Ayah dan Nenek Pidah anda masih bertenaga. Bahkan mungkin hidup mewah berkereta. Namun mungkin ada kemiskinan dalam kehidupan mereka – kemiskinan kasih sayang anak-anak yang di rindui. Anak-anak yang jarang pulang, tidak bertanya khabar, dan berkirim salam jauh sekali.

Syukur Alhamdullilah - kita masih di panjangkan usia untuk menyambut Tahun Baru Islam - Maal Hijrah ke 1429.
Semoga hidup kita di berkati........Ameeeennn!!

She is having an Affair!

OMG ! LiL is having an affair.....with a Dato K.

I have been noticing that something was amiss. She has been missing from my sight at certain hours during the nights. This has been going on for the last one month. At first, I thought she left me on my own to give me space to blog and to surf. Then I thought she was knitting to finish the crochet work she has started. But when she keep missing at regular intervals, and always at night I began to have my suspicion.

So for the last two days, I was paying particular attention to make sure she remain by my side after dinner until after bedtime.
"Why don't you write your blog as usual?" At 9pm, she began to feel restless.
"No, I prefer to just spend some quality time with you?" I said, and moved closer to where she was seated.
"But I have a date ....." She said awkwardly.
"Well......what kind of date?" I have my eyes fixed on the super-sports channel.
"A date lah....with my Dato K" she said and added, "I know you don't like him. So why don't you blog or watch the sports channel while I go into the bedroom and spend time with Dato K".
"Errr.....ok, tiba2 jer ada Dato K mana la pulak u nih?"
"oK...Enjoy....see u later" She said and moved to our bedroom.

LiL is not the kind to go astray, nor would she keep any secret from me. So, after five minutes of her being gone, I switched off the TV in the family living room and tip-toed to the bedroom.
There she was comfortably leaning against the headboard of our King-size bed, in deep concentration watching the Plasma which was fixed onto the bedroom wall.
"Eh, mana Dato' K you?" I moved to snuggle next to her.
"Tu ......" She said, pointing with her pouting lips towards the Plasma TV.

When the pin finally dropped and I got to know the Dato' K she was referring to, we had a good laugh. Immediately, I confessed of my own affair with a Mrs B. But she said "Of course I know that. Everyone knows that. It is very obvious you are in love with Mrs B" And we continued laughing!

For the last one month, LiL has developed an addiction to the drama on the Korean KBS channel. Her Dato K came on air every night at 7 to 8 pm, 9 to 10pm and his last visit is at 11-12pm. While my affair with Mrs B seems to be endless, she is always on my mind.

Growing gracefully into the golden age together means having a good laughter at our own silly jokes! I supposed when we are entering into the year when we will be celebrating our silver anniversary ( Nov 2008 ), love for us also means allowing space for our better half ....to pursue his or her own little affairs. We are also lucky since there are also many affairs which we do pursue together......affairs with our own children being at the heart of it all.

"Ok....you continue lah dengan your Dato K....I want to log-on and update my Mrs B. There is a story I want to write about!".
"Hahahaha - I know what you are going to write. It is about this little affair thing isn't it!" She said, but with that little smile on her - a smile which always bring calmness to my sometimes hyper nerves.

Are you having an affair? Do you want to share the initial of your affair with other readers?

A woman got to do what a woman got to do!

I was online with a lady friend who just came back from her vacation with her family - ten days in Europe and also visiting her BIL in Dublin! There was something we have to plan since her BIL, a family friend of LiL and I will be visiting Dubai with his family. The conversation didn't get very far beyond the normal greetings......**updated: She and her husband met up with LiL and I over lunch today - to continue discussion on the plans for our esteemed visitors from Dublin. K.D, I am not allowed to write any details......**

I: "How are you?
N: "Tired...I need a break"
I: "A break?......haven't you just got back from one?"
N: "A break to recover after doing what a woman got to do - after the break!".

I excused myself saying that I wanted to write about "A woman got to do what a woman got to do" in my blog. She was quick to stress a point - that she was not complaining!


After a long vacation trip, all a man wants to do is to re-connect with his buddies to catch up on the local scenes and activities. A man enjoys sharing his vacation stories - emphasizing parts which will make his buddies salivate with awe and envy. Which parts? Of course depends on who the persons are. When a friend went on a trip to Germany about a month back, he came back with stories of attractive long legged things walking the streets! Upon prompting, his story ended with him being a cowardly gentleman who hid from the evil intention of those long legged blue eyed things. But here, I digress long and wide from my original intention to write about the plight of the fairer half - our ladies of the house!

After a similar long trip, all a woman cares to do is to bring everything and everyone back into order. While her children go wild over their newly acquired but hardly required gadgets - she breaks her back unpacking the luggage and dumping all clothes into the washing machine. While her husband leans back on his lazy chair making plans for games of golf with his buddies, she goes on her knees polishing the floor from dirt and dust. A woman's maternal instinct wants to see her nest back to what it should be - in good order for nesting, nurturing, feeding, resting...etc etc.....orderly, neat, tidy and ready!
In so doing, she wastes no time. Bedsheets must be changed, refrigerator be defrosted and filled with fresh supply, all toilets flushed and windows opened for fresh air to flow. A thousand and one things to remember - and she remembers them all methodically and do them all without grudge. Tired yes......! But always taken with a spirit of "A woman got to do what a woman got to do!".

LiL, has been a Cinderella of our own house ever since we moved into this new home. She has so far, refused to take a maid. Being the only one with a maternal instinct, while we boys and men tried our best to help, she has been the one who does the laundry, cooks our meals, mops and dusts, and cleans up after much fun at the dining table has been long gone. Such is the nature of a laborious and lonely struggle of a housewife's things to do - mundane chores, plenty to do, never done and often unappreciated. LiL too - has a silent resolve of doing what a woman got to do in a grateful manner for what we have rather than complaining for what it can be!

Driving back from our soccer game today - I agreed with the boys that every weekend, we the males of the house will cook a complete meals for a day for the family. That will be starting this coming weekend - and I am already excited with the possibilities of a five star menu!
"Kita masak apa ayah?" tanya Along.
"Amir book bahagian potong-potong" sampuk Amirul.
"I don't want to end doing the cleaning up - so please give me something to do too" Haziq thinking ahead.
"Ermm....last time I potong halia kan ayah....can i do the same?" asked Luqmn who has been in a deep thought.
By the time we reached home, we still could not decide what to cook. But we will have one whole week to plan.......hehehehe! And for me, a week of bonding conversations with the boys!
Life is like that - if you make it like that.
In the end - each of us got to do what each of us got to do! If only we open our eyes, ears, and heart to see - then decide to share.

60plus ...not yet 69!

Berita dari negara, di sini.Lalu aku pun menulis....

I wonder, what a 60 plus guy of good office thinking when he was doing it? I wonder, for that matter.....are there other 6o plus who is capable of doing such thing? Tak ader age limit kah untuk appetite 'makan luar'. Am I missing something here?? hehehehe. Afterall, to do such things require more than just bola-bola - it does require a presence of mind, a hard something, a Heart of Clubs, and a cheek as thick as one's wallet. I wonder, what attracts citizens of Venus to something yang sudah kereput dan kedut-kedut, dan mungkin dah pun semput semput??? No, I am not a sour grape! At fifty, I have to labour up the stairs to my bedroom....what more to be pumping and gasping for fresh air in hotel rooms!

I admire wives yang boleh memaafkan their men. I wrote about this in my previous entry - forgive before forgiveness is asked for. This is a hard test to pass - but a wife who can do so, surely is more dignified than any spectators who only know to blab bla blab from the side lines. So, my heart goes to the first lady of the pak menteri.....

But alas - I also admire men with bola-bola! To have done it surely proof in itself that one has cricket balls rather than ping-pongs ones. And to stand tall, admit and taking full responsibility is a good example in itself. I only wish others in good office take a page out of this debacle and learn! If such is the case - we should be busy with by-erections elections! Yes or No?

Hey, it is illegal to copy, trade or view video clips of such acts! hehehe......don't bother looking for it! Harammmmmm.

Starting the year....

I left 2007, it didn't leave me!
It is me who is moving ahead.....

The Burj Al Arab, welcoming 2008. Where I was last night, it was electric. The excitement and anticipation were buzzing in the air on a dark and chilly Jumeira beach. My family together with seven other Malaysian families were amongst tens of thousands others. We arrive at around eleven, picked out spot and spread our picnic offerings.






A new year it is, but not a new life! Your miseries do not fade away just because the seven has changed to an eight. You still have to pay your bills, dig into your pocket every time you pass through one of the many tolls, and face the same faces at home and at work. Make no mistake about that....
A new year it is, but not a new life! New resolutions won't get you anywhere - except to the same place you left off a year ago. A new life - can start any time you choose it to be. But, the starting point is with yourself.
.......Think positively - of yourself and your life.
Cultivate an indomitable spirit. Believe you can and will succeed. Make a list of positive statements about yourself and read them everyday, not just on a new year's day.
Do not make excuses or put yourself down in conversations with others or with yourself. And analyze the people you come in contact with on a regular basis. Are these negative people or positive people? Your friends should support you and lift you up, not depress you and
drag you down to their level. And when someone compliments you, say thank you. That’s important. Many people receive compliments and respond with, “oh well, I’m really
not…”.
Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.





I left 2007 behind me.....just like I would like to leave my past where it belongs. In the past!
The past is just that–the past. What happened in the past does not necessarily allude to what is going to happen in the future.
Each new career, new relationship, and new friendship have their own
unique potential. If you were let down in the past, you can’t let that
affect your present and future. They aren’t the same.
If you live in the past, you will constantly live in a self fulfilling
prophecy. Your life will suck because you
expect it to suck. Or it will thrive because you believe you can! It’s that simple.
And just in case you have some doubt - ok, i am with you. There is an enemy!
The only problem is that the Enemy is You.

In order to conquer the outside, you must first conquer the inside. Look to yourself. We hold ourselves back more than anyone else has the power to. When you realize this is the reality you will find it easier to deal with your issues and make progress toward your goals.

So, please take another look at the list of resolution you have written. Then take a good look in mirror - at yourself!

My best wishes to everyone - and HAPPY NEW YEAR! But, I can only make wishes. You determine how 2008 shapes up for you....no one else!
Work hard, and pray even harder.
Smile and love a lot.
Be truthful - especially to yourself.
Make someone happy everyday.
Hug and tell your loved ones you love them, while they are alive. Life can be taken at anytime - with little notice.
Say sorry, if you made a mistake. But forgive everyone before forgiveness is asked for.
Whether you like or hate someone -their lives move on. The difference is by forgiving them - you harbor no ill feelings in your heart. Ill feelings eat your soul, yours! No one else.
Sleep well, drink lots of water, wake up for Fajr prayer, and always include your parents in your doa.


( Along, Angah, Achik, Amirul, Haziq, Luqman - ayah loves you! )
(Lil - let us make 2008 our best ever......)