Cerita pasal burung~!

I woke up to a melodious alarm, did a 'menggeliat kucing farsi gemuk gedempul' and pulled the blanket for an extended snooze.

Actually, I tried hard to continue the 'mimpi indah menerima menantu' which was interrupted by the alarm from my blackberry. Snooze I did but the dream didn't come back. On cue, fifteen minutes later the oriental chime tone came alive again and this time I sat upright on my bed, staring out of the window.

Green leaves waved promisingly to a glorious morning, a sole bird was leaping from branch to branch. Was it the same bird as yesterday? I made a mental note of the bird's physical appearance so that I can check the next morning, if it would be the same one everyday which come to peek into my bedroom. Huh, I realized the birdie was in the company of a burung kakak tua which was reaching out from under its contraints! No wonder lah that little birdie on the tree branch was chirping so merrily, I smiled at the thought!

Lazily I did some yoga movement, just to get my rusty joints going.

Creeeekkkk, cruuukkkkk, sang my lower back. Huh, it felt so damn nice actually when my belikat made such sound. I then held up my knees to my chest and lowered my face in between. No, not to have a closer look at my burung, but to stretch my neck muscle!

Since a few days ago when I was in Dubai I have been having such delicate nerve in my neck, that any form of sudden movement resulted in sharp pain which traveled mercilessly and instantaneously down my spine.


Scary, the thought that it may affect the vitality of any unsuspecting burung! In fact, on the last day in Dubai, I went for a Thai massage at a place called 'Relax' in Jumeirah. The soothing sound of trickling water and birds chirping did wonder to relax me, so much so, I dozed off and was awoken only when the lady masseur whispered, 'Turn over!'

Honestly, I was embarrassed for when I was turning over I realized that one particular burung was in conversation with the birdie sound that was coming from the speakers discreetly placed behind some kind of potted plants. Behave, boy, behave! I commanded to be 'at ease!'

I got out of bed, walked to the window and made small tapping sound on the window panes. I was trying to attract the bird's attention. The damn thing buat donno and completely ignored me! I knew then, it was there not to flirt with any burung kakak tua, but in fact it was teasing my son's burung pipit in the next room. Obviously, it was a bird innocent of worldly things, for if it were like any young birdies hovering over the skyline of metropolitan cities like KL, then it would have known better - a burung kakak tua nearly always worth a lot more than a young burung pipit! Alas, birdies in Saudi are pure and uncorrupted, so they claim!

After a good hot shower, I toweled myself, standing in front of my bedroom mirror. Feeling rather jilted by the birdie outside my window a few minutes ago, I took good look at myself.

Errrm, I was quickly reminded by a psychological study which said, "A man tends to see only the better parts of himself in the mirror, while a woman tends to notice everything unattractive! "
How I managed to miss my expanded pot belly, but smiled gleefully at what little muscle I have in my bi-cepts, really underscored the pyscho study! Some modesty still existed in me, I intentionally ignored the temptation to stare further down, the burung kakak tua saved from any untowards remark!

I chose one of my favourite shirt today - the one I purchased at Marks & Spencer, and paid AED220.00 for it, after 15% discount. The kind of luxurious display which would normally attract KL birdies to feed out of one's palm. I chose my favourite pair of pants, blue with ever so subtle silvery pin stripes. Huh, something was not quite right! I could not hook the button without exhaling much of the air from my stomach ~! In a state of denial, I blamed the maid for shrinking my pants by washing it the wrong way! But, changed to a baggy pair of pants I did. My ego did deflate a little though, as I made stride towards my car.

"Good morning sir!" greeted one Pinoy maid. I smiled, and return a good morning greeting.
Wonderful!

She actually gave me a reason to smile, simply because she was smiling. And by smiling, my stride automatically became bigger and with added springs! Half way to my car, 'Sonny' our cat from previous stay here came running towards me. I stopped briefly, to stroke his furs and tickled his chin and under belly. Ah, he loved that! And, that darling, was the reason I wrote this episode - for while I was doing that to 'Sonny' I was thinking of you.

I missed you...missing waking up next to you, stroking your hair and tickling ur cheeks and ribs! Not to mention, the nestling warmth much missed by a burung, kakak tua as it may be!


And with that, I was jolted, and kicked Sonny out of my way. How could I! I meant how could I started feeling affection for an over-fed, unkept cat ( and a male one too!), and be thinking of you, darling. I felt similar kind of guilt like I was 'bermain kayu tiga!' No, not that I know how 'bermain kayu tiga' would make a man feel. I won't bother finding out!

That was also the reason why I called you before I started the car engine this morning. Our conversation must have gone a little steamy, for I realized a sudden swelling between my trouser's pockets. You reminded me of what I was missing last night and when I woke up this morning. Only a little while after that, it dawned on me, you too must have been missing the same thing~! And I felt much better, despite having been ignored by that little birdie from outside my bedroom window earlier. Believe me, it is always nice to feel wanted!

Here is loving and missing you~!

Leadership isn't always about you...

Leadership Isn't About You!

This week's question for Ask the Coach:

I am having a difficult time leading my team. The team members will not follow my instructions, which I am sure would make our project much more successful. What am I doing wrong?

What you're doing wrong is very simple: you have simply forgotten that your team is more critical to the success of your project than you are.

Over the years, I have worked with many great leaders as an executive educator and coach. One client, Charlie (not his real name), in particular is still one of my favorites. He is the one who showed the most improvement — and he is the one who I spent the least amount of time with.

Charlie was president of a division with more than 50,000 employees. His CEO recognized his talents and asked me to help Charlie expand his role, provide more leadership, and build synergy across the organization. Charlie eagerly involved his team in this project. Each person took responsibility for creating positive synergy with cross-organizational colleagues. They regularly reported their efforts, learned from their colleagues, and shared what they learned. They thanked people for ideas and suggestions and followed up to ensure effective implementation.

What I find interesting is that of all the clients I have every coached, Charlie is the client I spent the least amount of time with. This inverse relationship between our spending time together and he and his team getting better was very humbling. At the end of our project, I told Charlie about this observation. "I think that I spent less time with you and your team than any team I have ever coached, yet you and your team produced the most dramatic, positive results. What should I learn from my experience?"

Charlie thought about my question. "As a coach," he said, "you should realize that success with your clients isn't all about you. It's about the people who choose to work with you." He chuckled; then he continued: "In a way, I am the same. The success of my organization isn't about me. It's all about the great people who are working with me."

What an insight! This isn't what most of the conventional wisdom of leadership dictates. Most leadership literature exaggerates, even glamorizes, the leader's contribution. The implication being that everything begins with the leader, that she is responsible for your improvement, she guides you to victory, without the leader there is no navigator.

This isn't true. An oft-quoted proverb says: "The best leader, the people do not notice. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.'"

Truly great leaders, like Charlie, recognize how silly it is to believe that a coach or a leader is the key to an organization's success. The best leaders understand that long-term results are created by all of the great people doing the work — not just the one person who has the privilege of being at the top.

Readers: Please share your stories about teamwork and leadership. How do you lead your teams successfully? Is it about you or them?

The writer is:

Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. Dr. Goldmith's 24 books include What Got You Here Won't Get You There, an NYT best seller, WSJ #1 business book and Harold Longman Award winner for Business Book of the Year. He has been recognized as one of the world's leading executive educators and coaches in BusinessWeek, the Economist, Forbes and The Times of London. His articles and videos are available online at MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com and he can be reached at Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com His latest book is Succession: Are You Ready?

Que Sera Sera....

Que Sera Sera.....what ever will be will be....cukup lah seorang isteri...~~!!

1983 - starting salary di waktu itu RM2000.00
- senaskah Berita Harian cuma 0.50sen
- duit raya kira standard ialah RM1.00, dah menyeringai gembiranya budak2 zaman itu!
- sewa rumah teres 4 bilik dekat dengan zoo negara = RM400 sebulan
- Harga kereta baru dalam plastik cap Nissan Sunny 130Y = RM18,000

2009 - starting salary fresh graduate, jika bernasib baik mendapat pekerjaan RM1400.00
- dengan 0.50 sen boleh lah beli sebatang pensil 1B ~!
- duit raya paling tidak pun RM10.00
- sewa rumah teres 4 bilik nun jauh di Nilai sana ialah RM1200.00
- harga kereta baru dalam plastik cap Nissan Sunny RM80,000++

1983: tak dengar pun graduan Malaysia keluar negara mencari kerja.
2009: Baling batu di Dubai, di Doha, di Manama, Di Muscat, di Jeddah, di Hanoi, di Afrika, di Tehran, di Papua New G ..... akan terdengar lah suara, "Adoiiiii!!!! aku Malaysian lah weeyyyy, apa baling2 nih!!"

Welcome to the club of Malaysian expats overseas...walaupun isteri tetap satu, tapi boleh simpan duit ribu2...boleh beli rumah dua tiga....sesekali balek Malaysia, tunjuk lengan kurang2 pun Omega~!

Que sera sera....what ever will be will be....aku cukup satu isteri, tapi kenyang perut suka hati~! hehehe

Di Pusara Bonda....

"Kenapa menangis?"
>>>>"Sedih!"

"Kenapa sedih?"
>>>>"Sewaktu hayatnya, saya selalu abaikan dia"

"Abaikan...maksud kamu?"
>>>>"Saya terlalu mementingkan diri saya, kerjaya saya, hal-hal saya, saya sering tangguhkan keperluan dia"

"Apakah keperluan dia yang kamu rasa kamu selalu tangguhkan?"
>>>>"Pernah bila saya pulang,saya lihat telefon di rumah telah di tarik ke tempat tidur....bila saya tanya kenapa, dia menjawap kerana dia ingin memastikan dia dapat mendengar jika telefon berbunyi sekiranya saya menalifon dia"

"Selalukah kamu telefon dia?"
>>>>"Tak pernah......kecuali hari Raya. Dia berkata, telefon di rumah itu tidak pernah berbunyi kecuali apabila jiran menalifon bertanya khabar apabila dia tidak kelihatan beberapa hari"

"Kenapa jiran tak nampak dia"
>>>>"Kerana dia sakit dan tidak dapat bangun dari tempat tidur nya. Itu yang membuat saya sedih! Sewaktu hayat ibu saya tidak pernah mengabaikan keperluan saya. Saya sungguh sedih. >>>>Apa perlu saya buat sekarang?"

"Menyesal pun tak berguna lagi. Kamu berdoalah semoga Allah ampuni dosa kamu terhadap arwah ibu dan ayah kamu, dan semoga Allah kasihi mereka sebagaimana mereka telah mengasihi kamu"

....perbualan di atas di antara dua sahabat. Seorang dari mereka baru sahaja pulang ke kampung halaman setelah bertahun di seberang laut. ....Jangan tunggu sampai terlambat. Call your father and your mother today, and tell them you love them! At a certain phase in life, the role between parents and children come to a cross-point, where the children should become more of a 'giver' role and parents yearn to be the 'receiver'. And I am not even talking about material things....I am talking about love, about caring, and about reassurance, that they matter in your life. Si Tenggang terkena sumpahan kerana menderhaka kepada ibu. Itu zaman dahulu kala. Tak perlu lah bandingkan diri kamu dengan si Tenggang. Semestinya dengan pelajaran di zaman cyber dan zaman iPod ini, dan setelah merantau ke mana-mana, kamu lebih mengerti bagaimana untuk mengambil hati seorang ibu atau seorang ayah. Bukan begitukah?
Biasakan lah, dewasakanlah diri, sapulah malu, pura2lah rindu...sekali pun jika rindu itu tiada di hatimu! Kerana, satu hari nanti apabila kamu juga mempunyai anak-anak yang telah dewasa, perasaan yang sama akan di rasai juga. Percayalah, kerana ramai yang aku kenali kini mengalami nya!

(gambar hiasan dari google search)

Usah di tunggu kematian,
sekadar untuk di tangisi dengan penyesalan
usah di renjis air di pusara
jika semasa hayat mereka kamu alpa !
Bukan wang ringgit yang mereka pinta
sekadar 'suara' sebagai tanda
"Kamu mengingati mereka!"

Aku berpesan untuk semua
yang masih ada ibu dan bapa
kerana setelah bertahun aku kehilangan
ke hari ini aku di bayangi penyesalan!
Jika ibu dan ayah masih ada
Tak kan aku ulangi lagi
bertanya khabar, sekali sekala
itu pun hanya di hari Raya
ingin aku sering mengunjungi
memeluk erat, mengucupi pipi
bukan sekadar menitiskan airmata
ketika merenungi nisan di pusara!

Ampun kan anakanda, wahai ibu
ampunkan anakanda mu wahai ayah
kerana dulu, begitu alpa
ke sana kemari - meniti dunia
terlupa sebenarnya yang di cari itu
melihat senyuman di wajah-wajah mu!

Malam ini aku tangisi
penyesalan yang hadir di dalam mimpi~!

(Just me: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia)

All in all, we're doing rather ok...!

Di atas: Pada Malam Khamis Oct 14th Oct 2009, saya sempat bertemu Tuanku Raja Muda Perlis - di Majlis di Consulate of Malaysia di Jeddah. Saya berbaju putih membelakangkan kamera! Di sebelah kiri Tuanku ialah Dr MAZA! On my left is Mr Kamil - Director with the Jeddah Municipality.


Di bawah: Hari Jumaat 16th Oct, makan2 udang bersama kawan2 dan anakanda Amirul!
A plateful of deep fried prawns!

Living with Amirul in Jeddah for the last three weeks has been quite an experience. It has made me more rajin ke dapur...ia lah to prepare a meals or two for both of us. We have also built quite a nice routine; for instance we do our grocery shopping on every Thursday afternoon after Asar prayer, and if we don't go to Macca we will have friends over for Friday lunch, a bit of relaxation, and ending our weekly social get together with swimming. Mr Kamil, who is a Director for the Jeddah Municipality has been our regular Friday companion - and the fact that he is a very accomplished cook, makes him a much awaited and welcomed guest.


Amirul himself has turned into an independent young man. He has to, since due to my work there are times when I leave him all alone at home for a few nights at a stretch in a week. He has learned to cook rice, and are able to cook a few simple dishes such as honey-chicken, spaghetti bolognaise, besides the usual fry this and boil that!
Fortunately, we have a maid who comes twice a week to clean the house, do our laundry and check our fridge for any expired food items. The last chore, I am quite sure, is an instruction from my wife to her.


A snap shot look into our fridge reveals that we are over stocked with proteins; chicken breast, lamb chops, beef steak, king fish steak, and prawns! We have quite a good selection of fruits; banana, apples, oranges, and pears. There are just not enough vegies! Except for cucumbers, I have just realized that we do not buy, cook, or eat vegies as much as we should! Point noted though, and on my next visit to a supermarket, I will pick up a good mix of leaves, stems and root vegies. My favorite is broccoli ~!


Last night, we surprised ourselves by cooking steak and baked sweet potatoes! It was a walalala dinner. Simple to prepare, fresh and tasty. The sweet potatoes, steaming hot applied with some butter was an exquisite discovery last night, and we both said we will repeat the menu again in the near future. We learned one lesson though last night! For good taste, the steak has to be adequately marinated first. Last night we simply applied some black paper source to the meat and cook it a little too quickly - hence a little bland on flavour. Oh well...


I guess there is a subconscious reason why I over emphasize on food and cooking in my write up and also in my phone conversation with my wife who is in Dubai. The reason simply is for her to know that both of us, father and son, are looking after our food rather well. There is little reason if at all, for her to worry. We are more than coping...in fact we enjoying the opportunities to experiment with 'things' in our kitchen.


All in all, we are doing ok!

"Happy birthday Anis!"

Morning sun steals into Anis's bedroom, softly kissing her face. Still half asleep, Anis turns her face away from her bedroom window. She reaches for her mobile phone. Something which is not there disappoints her. No messages! No miss calls! "He doesn't care! No one cares..."she thought, and sinks deeper into reclusion. Without her consent, warm tears trickle down to her pillow.

The cycle of her ups and downs seems to be out of equilibrium. Lately, she is having more downs than ups. There are many mornings when she doesn't feel like getting out of bed at all. There are many nights when she can't seem to go to sleep without first creating some kind of a nightmare in her mind. She often wonders whether it is all worth the effort - the separation, the sacrifices, the absence!

Curling there under the warmth of her pastel yellow duvet, she some how feels unsafe! But unsafe from what? Living in Newcastle, a city of beer, coal mines and football has never made her feel unsafe. There are some fifty other Malaysian students there, and she has also met with two Malaysian ladies in their forties who are married to 'Mat Salehs' and have set up homes in the upper class end of Newcastle. Kak Nah and Alicia, both have been there for more than 20 years, but still speak fluent and very good Malay. In fact, kak Nah's Kedah slang is still as original as any makciks she knows back home. Not to mention her laksa and fish head curry! More than good enough to curb her yearning for Malaysian food.

Yet, when she is in her own room, she often feels unsafe. In the privacy of her room, sheltered from the reality of the world and demands of her studies and thesis, she let her imagination wonders wild into space. It is her imagination which makes she feels unsafe. She imagines about her future, her love life, her fiance thousands of miles away in Malaysia. Is he being faithful to her? Is he missing her, or even thinking of her? Why doesn't he send her a message or calls her on her birthday, today!
With that thought, her silent tears turns into a sob. She lets tears flow, and she lets her body shakes. In fact, the last time any communication between them has been a long time back, 17 days to be exact! That too was initiated by her! The last time Firdaus tried to call her was one month ago! "I called, but you did not pick up !" was what he claimed when she called back after seeing a missed call on her mobile.

The demands of her studies, trying to complete her PhD, is keeping her sane and going, and perhaps even living! Her heart has been broken to pieces before when her love of eight years ditched her to marry a daughter of a Dato'. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her then. Eight years of dreams they painted together on a white and clean canvas shattered. Eight years of friendship which blossomed into a romance, adorned with countless memorable moments along the way vaporized into thin air. "How do you feel?" He asked, tightly embracing her.
"Blissful!" she whispered to him. That was on a night which changed her from being a girl to being a woman. That night, they drew their promises of a beautiful life together, to be happy ever after, on the white sandy beach of Pulau Pangkor. In that drawing in the sand, her heart was circled by his bigger heart. Then they both drew a box around the two hearts and sealed it with a lock! And they kissed under the moon light, their hands locked and their lips entwined. Their hearts shared a common rhythm, and they caressed and let slow danced to the songs of the ocean!

The recollection of the past, only makes her sobs turns into weeps. "Fendi! I hope you are happy...then at least my misery has some meaning to it!" she oftens comfort herself with the same mantra. His happiness, is her happiness!

She pulls her duvet to her face. She bites at the edge. he calms down. Biting and suckling the edge of the duvet provides her with some comfort, perhaps not unlike a baby seeking comfort in suckling a mom's nipple. Her weeps subsides into a sob. Soon after, her sobs stops altogether. She wipes her tears, take another look at her mobile and with a sigh, she gets up and out of bed.

"What ever will be will be! I am not getting hurt because of you Firdaus!" she walks into her bathroom. She needs to be ready! She has a group discussion within an hour. She likes her group discussion. The presence of her buddies, cheers her up! The focus on intellectual discussion, activate her mind away from idle emotional state. She loves it too when Idham, the guy who speaks English with heavy Kelantan slang, teases her....with and about anything! Idham is not as good looking as Firdaus, but he is gentle and very funny. If she needs a reason to smile, she needs only to think of him. And in his presence, she grins non-stops and laughter comes naturally.
"Errmm, why am I comparing Idham to Firdaus!" she mumbles over the noise from her hair drier.
She chooses her favourite blouse, just nice for the spring time weather. Or is it, Idham's favourite blouse? Whatever. She smiles...and for the first time since last summer, she applies a red gloss lipstick to her lips. "Muahhzzz!" she made the sound as she pouted her lips and admires her own beauty.
"Happy birthday to me!" she said, and blows a kiss to herself in the mirror!

end.
(cerita rekaan semata2...hehehe....idham sempat juga inter-frame tu! ahaks!!)

Mid night train...

After a few nights of sleeping late, I was again having trouble to shut my mind even when my eyes were struggling under the weight of the lashes. I was counting sheep number 797th ...798, 799th and was getting very close to tripping into the much needed dream land. Then the unexpected happened!

Faintly I heard voices whispering.

Then faintly I heard voices laughing.

Then moments of silent.

I strained my ears.

Then....I heard strange but familiar sound. It sounded like some one was in pain...a little groan, a little moan, and someone else was in a sprinting race...out of breath and all.

And I curled and moved under my duvet, lost all concentration of the sheep I was counting! Instead, it was counting the rythm of the mid-night train next door...fast, slow, fast, slow, fast, fast, faster, even faster....and fastest! It was like someone was screwing pieces of a bed's parts together...the creaking noise, and a few whamm bangg bangg. The last hammering was vicious, surely someone was in pain for I heard a scream. It was a scream from deep within her belly. I heard, "Oh God!"

Then silent again, followed by little giggles! I closed my eyes but having my ears trained on what was coming next.

Running of tap water from the ensuite bathroom.

Little giggles again.

Then total silent.

But the sound of mid-night choo choo train echoed in my ears.

I curled tighter into a ball, with my knees almost touching my chest, and pulled my duvet over my head.

Damn!

I started counting sheep all over again. This time backward.

999, 998, 997, .......

But, my eyes were wide awake, staring into the darkness outside!

Goodnight folks!

Nak cakap apa?

Wife splashes acid on cheating hubby

Nak cakap apa?

"Padan muka!" kepada suami kah atau kepada isteri, atau kepada si girl fren ?

"Kesian !! " kat suami kah, atau kepada isteri, atau kepada girl fren?

"Tak patut!!!" kepada suami kah, atau isteri, atau girlfren??

JOHOR BARU: A policeman was badly injured when his estranged wife splashed him with acid after she found him with his girlfriend at his home in Nusajaya.

It is believed the wife, who is in the process of filing for a divorce, found her husband and the girlfriend in a compromising position when she entered the house at 4.30pm yesterday.

The policeman, a constable in his 20s attached to the Nusajaya district headquarters, and the girlfriend were warded at the Sultanah Aminah Hospital.

He suffered burns on the chest and body while the girlfriend sustained minor injuries.

The wife, in her 20s, has been detained.

Nusajaya OCPD Supt Abd Aziz Ahmad confirmed the incident.

---

What is becoming of me...

There I was, alone, on the upper deck of the Boeing 747 ( I know very old plane! ) on an India flight from Cochin to Jeddah, just been awoken from my slumber by a soothing voice asking if I want to eat. And I immediately looked at my watched and configured what time it was in Malaysia. While I nodded a 'Yes' to the food question, my mind was thinking of you and the children. "What would you be doing at that very moment?"
The plane has taken off about 10 minutes ago, and we were on a short leg to Calicut for a one hour transit. The stewardess brought a tray filled with sandwiches, spring roll, and a glass of water. I took the water and returned the rest. Absolutely no appetite, I wondered why I said I wanted food in the place.
The stewardess made no fuss, she simply smiled and went back to her cabin leaving me to my own thoughts.
I was missing home! No, that was not it!
I was missing you, and home is where ever you are!
I slipped low into my seat, pulled my blanket up to cover my face. That very moment, tears simply trickled down my cheeks.

I tried to rationalize what exactly made me feel that way. There was no rational neither any logic. It was just the thought of flying back to an empty house. The thought of not having you there waiting to welcome me with your usual hug. The thought of pulling my trolley bag into a dark living room, quiet and empty. The thought of having so much to share about things I have done during the last few days I was in India, but no one to listen. I got quickly got hold of myself! It was a short interlude but enough to bring awareness to me, how much I have been missing my wife and children. The last time I saw them was July 3rd, one month back.

I watched two movies during the flight, both were Hindi movies. One was a classic - 'Yaadon Ki Baraat', about three brothers who were separated by circumstances after their parents were murdered, and re-united after the youngest of them turned into a singer and kept on singing their family song - the title song of the movie. I truly enjoyed this nostalgic oldie. At this particular scene where they re-discovered each other, for the second time during the flight I had tears in my eyes.

I watched a second movie, of which I forgot the title. It was about a super wealthy Indian guy who lived in New York and used his wealth to get any girl he wanted. That was until he met Varsha, a girl with high moral values. At the same time, in parallel, a man named Shankar was dreaming about a girl, and have even painted many pictures of her. It was Varsha! I did not get to finish the movie, as the plane had landed in Jeddah.

Back to my my house, I did walk into a dark living room. The house was as quiet and empty as I had imagined. But I was not sad nor melancholic anymore. I was quite relieved to be back. After a quick shower to wash away the smell of India, I leaned back on the sofa and turned on the TV. The show on Hollywood channel was "Please take my kids". A show where a couple was treated to a romantic holiday, just the two of them while a baby sitter is brought in to look after their children. Mistake! My mistake!
At one scene, when the wife hugged her husband and whispered, "I love you" while looking straight into his eyes, I found myself off the cliff again. It was an ordinary scene. But to an ordinary man like me, who is living an extraordinary life by being away from people I love, it tugged at my soft spots.

What is becoming of me....
I am turning sentimental and melancholic.

Porn.....is closer to home than you think!

When I arrived in the UK for the first time in mid 70s, amongst things I was excited about was to visit Soho. There had been so much hype about what were going on in Soho amongst Malaysian students who have 'been there and seen that'! I could not helped but be curious.
However I was not placed in London. From the Heathrow airport, a group of senior Malaysian students whisked us directly to various little towns where we were placed to do our A levels. Mine was to be in a little town called Grantham! Other new and more noble things to which I was exposed to made me forget about Soho and all of its porn glories.

Now in 2009, the porno virus is much closer to all of us including our children than Soho was to me back then in the seventies. A porn virus lurches in clouds above us, carried by porno websites and made accessible only by a few click of the keyboards. If I was curious back then, why would I not want to believe that my children would harbour similar curiosity today. I did not get to entertain my curiosity due all the complexities associated with having to physically go to Soho ~ but what would stop my children from surfing even accidentally into such websites from their laptops in the comfort of their own rooms?

A fourteen year old may do a search of the word "Boobs" and may get to see what he was hoping to see in all of their fleshy glories. What seemed like an adolescent innocent curiosity about a human anatomy can easily ended up with a peek into a full-fledge porn pictures and videos. At least here in the Middle East, I can breath easy that almost all of such sites are screened and banned by internet service providers! I would like to believe this is true...although I know of employers who have terminated the employment of their staff for browsing into porno sites at work. How on earth those staff managed to penetrate the firewalls???

Some facts:
1. There is full nudity on MySpace and, according to a recent survey, there are also 26,000 registered sex offenders on the site.
2. 90% of children in the UK have looked at porn online and the average age for first time view is eleven!
3. 50% of all internet traffic is related to sex and porno sites.

Now consider this, "Your own children may have visited such sites too....!"
You can say, " No never!" and be in a state of denial for the sake of wanting to feel good about your children or you can be a little more accepting of current reality and find ways to guide and educate them about porn and what bad influence those porn sites can give them.

Realizing that whether I like it or not, Porn is so close to home, I have chosen the later. I let my children know first of all that in the UAE it is illegal to view porno pictures and videos or go into porn sites! People caught doing so can be deported! It is that serious....Second of all, I let them know all the bad things that can happen from indulging in porn. Thirdly, I relate to teachings of Islam....about why our religion has forbidden display of Aurat! There are good reasons....

"Curiosity in children, is but an appetite for knowledge. One great reason why children abandon themselves wholly to silly pursuits and trifle away their time insipidly is, because they find their curiosity balked, and their inquiries neglected!"
- John Locke

When a father becomes a match-maker!

Twenty five years ago I fell in love with a girl. My and her parents were informed of our intention to tie the knots with a certain aura of conviction they both agreed. Twenty five years on, we are blessed to be parents to three twenty-something children, two in their teens and a young one who is nine!

Time has definitely change. At least for me! While my parents left me alone in matters of my heart, I have become overly participative when it comes to my own children ~ especially when it comes to matters of choosing their life partners.

There is a girl, a daughter of a family friend, whom I particularly like. I can envisage her as my daughter-in-law. She is seventeen. I imagine her as a life-partner to one of my sons. When I was on the phone today with Fariz, I told him, "Ayah nak introduce you to Auntie A's daughter. You contact dia directly lah! Hopefully you and her will like each other. She is sweet..and perempuan baik dari keluarga baik2!"

Fariz later on joked with his mom, "Why is Ayah sounding like a match maker ! Dia nak kita cari orang Kelantan ke!"

Fariz's comment prompted my wife and I to discuss his point, "Why am I behaving like a match-maker!"

1. I am driven by a strong desire to see my children, sons and daughter, happy in their married lives. As much as possible I want to shelter them from 'bad' people and filter 'bad' people from them.

2. I have seen too many 'rotten' apples that I have become wary of my children's ability to pick a good one from a basket of what seems to be filled with ripe and nice apples. Even girls in tudung have 'done it!' Ermmm, shocking but so true.

3. I am old fashion when it comes to love and finding life partners. There are girls to party with, there are girls to share your life with. Party girls will party with the next guy who can dance better and own flasher car. Life partners, will be there with you comes rain or shine, for life!
I am fortunate myself to have found a life partner in my dear wife!

4. A marriage is an institution made up of many stake-holders. To have a happy marriage, all stake holders are equally important in their respective roles. Thus knowing the family and roots of my potential in-laws is important to me. I want to be able to get along and have a cordial relationship with the parents of my children-in-laws.

5. I have taken 'more salt'! I know my children will probably laugh their belly sick at this particular reasoning. But having taken 'more salt' has given me a fatherly intuition of what will and will not work!

In one sentence, I am participative in my children's lives because I love them and want only the best for them! ~ their education, their career, and their lives!
I wish I can lean back like my parents were twenty five years ago ! I wish...but I can't! Twenty five years ago, kissing a girl was forbidden. Virginity was a virtue. That was twenty five years ago!

I am a modern and open minded father who discusses things like love and romance with my children. At the same time, I am a father with traditional values!

Island Escapade - Malaysians in UAE!

Bernama report HERE.
From Mastura's blog HERE.

Success wipes away any signs of tiredness and exhaustion. To have seen smiles on the faces of 300 Malaysian who were there on the Island Escapade ~ that was the magic of satisfaction felt by the organizers of the event, MyUAEPRO!
His Excellency Dato Yahya Abdul Jabar, the Malaysian Ambassador to the UAE repeatedly expressed his pride and joy to see the great Malaysian spirit conquering the inhibited island for a day!
Besides sun-tan, all participants hopefully went away re-energized and rejuvenated!
Tuan Syed Hasrin, the Consul General was one active participants, mingling and competing with Malaysians.

As organizers, MyUAEPRO can take pride in knowing everyone of the participants had a jolly good time. We thank our sponsors, especially Mr Teo of TAK!
Other kind sponsors are Veritas, Mutiara Restaurant, Nutrilite, Iffco through Tiffany and London Dairy products, and MAS.

Island Escapade - Hilang penat!

Bernama report HERE.
From Mastura's blog HERE.

Success wipes away any signs of tiredness and exhaustion. To have seen smiles on the faces of 300 Malaysian who were there on the Island Escapade ~ that was the magic of satisfaction felt by the organizers of the event, the MyUAEPRO!
His Excellency Dato Yahya Abdul Jabar, the Malaysian Ambassador to the UAE repeatedly expressed his pride and joy to see the great Malaysian spirit conquering the unhibited island for a day!
Besides sun-tan, all participants hopefully went away re-energized and rejuvenated!
Tuan Syed Hasrin, the Consul General was one active participants, mingling and competing with Malaysians.

As organizers, the MyUARPRO can take pride in knowing everyone of the participants had a jolly good time. We thank our sponsors, especially Mr Teo of TAK!
Other kind sponsors are Veritas, Mutiara Restaurant, Nutrilite, Iffco through Tiffany and London Dairy products, and MAS.

"Work-life balance!" ~one perspective.

"I got it totally wrong lah! I thought I was keeping her company. But my wife complained. She said she needed personal space!" My ex-board colleague from previous life said in responce to my question on what has been some of the adjustment he has to make upon his retirement.

On average, working life span over thirty over years. During that period, busy work schedules limit family time to daily routines and obligations. While some odd couples spend their weekend like belangkas together, most however choose to pursue their social interest separately. Husbands spend time on golf courses, or out with their buddies fishing somewhere little known to the wives. Wives boil and toil over house keeping and children minding. Some hardy ones, hold their own court and pursue their own past-times which may include little shopping indulgence enough to make husbands regret leaving them alone.

For thirty odd years, working spouses have their own circle of friends and their personal spaces. Wives can get used to having their ''alone'' time when husbands are at work. What they do with their alone time, God knows! But that is what happens to my ex-board colleague who ihas retired recently. His wife finds his presence as a bit "too much". He is there every where she looks, and he is there even when she tries to be by herself. He wants to make up for lost time ~ she tries to maintain her luxury of 'free time'. She does not appreciate all the sudden attention, and worse all of the sudden demand for attention.

"Our biggest adjustment has been getting used to having each other by our side all the time again" he said, and we laughed. We laughed, but we both knew it was not funny. It was kind of sad. Many of us are placing such high priority and focus on our career that we have conditioned ourselves to accept less than perfect relationship to develop at home. Some of these relationship are not even on proper conversational terms. Communication become limited to a 'question and answer'of ''ýes and no" sessions. Intimate moments between husbands and wives become matter of responsibility and obligation. No intimacy, no romance, no pillow talks. Friendship between spouses become contractual and a matter of duty. Love making reduces to a 2 minute start to finish ~a little shorter than it takes to cook instant noodles!

My entry rambles with random thoughts from my mind but I do want to emphasize my point about having a "work life balance". Focus on careers should not be amplified to a point where life and love at home become compromised. Remember, employers retire you from your job but you will live with your companions at home for life! 24 hours a day!!! No escaping. No meetings to go to. No overseas trips, alone!!!
Just as you focus on chasing career success, invest with equal zeal in chasing success with your family life. Whether you like it or not, you can't semi retire yourself from your marriages, if what you are looking for is a long happy fullfilling life.

After two weeks away from the embrace of my dear wife, I am looking forward to my return flight tonight!

Repatriating....!

Repatriation, or returning home from an overseas assignment involves just as many factors to be considered just as one has to consider when deciding before going abroad.

I have left Malaysia for nine years and so have been my wife and three of our children. For me, it means that I have been out of the local network amongst peers and compatriots. I may no longer know the 'Who is Who!'' For my wife, she has made new friends abroad and may have got used to a certain way of living - away from home. For my three children, all of their formal education have been experienced out of Malaysia. These summaries are over simplistic however do represent some of the factors we have to consider when repatriating home.
On top of that, there are financial factors. For me, having been in the Middle East means that it has been a while since I last pay tax for my income. And having been an international assignee, I have used to certain perks associated with the job, such as company paid car and accomodation, paid holiday and more.

The question of "Hujan emas di negeri orang dan hujan batu di negeri sendiri - baik lagi negeri sendiri!" does come in every now and again. There are times we miss home...so acute we feel like packing and taking the next flight home. There are times too, we become dissappointed and disillusioned after having been home for a few weeks - people at home have got used to not having us around that their lives do not revolve around us any more. Once the novelty of 'coming home' subsides, we begin to miss our home away from home. We miss our new found friends in those faraway land. We miss the smell of our own kitchen, even without the belacan smell. We miss our foreign neighbours whom we hardly talk, far less gossip with. We begin to feel excited again as soon as we board the plane at the KLIA - yes, we miss home ~ home away from home!
It is not only the hujan batu or the hujan emas that influence us to be where we want to be. Life is more than a pile of gravels or a pot of gold. Life is ... about waking up in the morning and feel that we belong!

The whole of my paragraph above is a digression from what I wanted to write. However, it helps to illustrate the need to offer our returning friends and family members with emotional support besides physical or financial support. At work, it is important to consider providing repatriation orientation and support just as what we do when we welcome foreign expats.

Examples of things a company can do for their repatriating expats are:
- Offer help in looking for new schools and accomodation.
- Offer information on new malls, restaurents, hospitals, etc.
- Provide with a temporary car and driver.
- Help with red-tapes; installing telephone lines and utilities.
- Organize morning coffees for the spouse with spouses of other managers / staffs.

The government has taken positive steps in encouraging Malaysians expats to return home with a few financial incentives and priviledges on offer. Caring and considerate gestures from families, friends and work colleagues can add to the joy of coming home!

13-02-09 : I was in New York!

Friday 13th! Many believe the number 13 to be a very unlucky day. Malaysians of all races are probably the most superstitious in the whole wide world. In many buildings in Malaysia, you will not find floor number 13. Instead it is 12 and 12b.
Number 4 is also considered as unlucky and can bring 'death' to its owner. Hence, floor 4, 14, 24, 34, 44 are identified by some other numbers.
I can bet you RM444,444 that a car registration number 4, 44, 444 or 4444 would not belong to a Chinese!
Such is the extent of Malaysians numerical superstition.

Friday 13th! A day where bad things are supposed to happen. Something did happen to me. Today I tried to stay awake, but after a good roti telor breakfast with fish curry, I kept drifting into slumber on my favorite sofa. I woke up, cleaned up and went for Friday prayers, fully awake. Upon my return and after having 'mee mamak' from Puan Sharifah I drifted back to sleep. This time I even had a dream. It was a nice until I was awaken. ~~~ In my dream....

I was going to New York with Hasnol. Both of us were at an Airport, with one hand carry luggage each. After checking in, we could not find the departure hall. We searched the whole airport and found departure hall to Boston, Michigan, Dallas, and other USA cities except the one to New York. At one point, Hasnol asked me to sit down to take a rest  and stop searching. Then he said, "I already miss my daughter. Shall we cancel the trip?" 

I was disappointed if we had to cancel because I have been looking forward to it. Then one blond girl came and sat next to us. She was wearing a pink blouse with long hanging earing. She was tall, slender and she looked friendly and was smiling. I asked her, "Where is the departure hall to New York?" She looked at us with a puzzled look. "You are in New York!" she said. 

At that point, my wife woke me up to go for our weekly grocery shopping in Lulu Al Barsha. While pushing the trolley around the butchery area, there I saw a blond girl in pink. I moved closer to her, and she had long hanging earings on. She was slender and pretty. She was not smiling or as friendly as the one I met at the airport but she gave me that Deja Vu sort of a feeling. I wished I had asked her whether she was indeed from New York! I didn't.

Perhaps next time, I will put a sign on my forehead, "Wake me up only after I have come down from the Empire State Building!"

12-02-09 : Happy Birthday darling...

"Happy Birthday darling"
Today is my wife's birthday!
Kita sama2 bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Waktu-waktu bersama. Kesihatan yang seadanya. Anak-anak yang sihat dan berjaya. Dan kita teruskan doa....untuk di berkati baki-baki usia yang ada. Bersama, ke ahir hayat kita! InsyAAllah.

12-02-09 : Happy Birthday darling...

"Happy Birthday darling"
Today is my wife's birthday!
Kita sama2 bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Waktu-waktu bersama. Kesihatan yang seadanya. Anak-anak yang sihat dan berjaya. Dan kita teruskan doa....untuk di berkati baki-baki usia yang ada. Bersama, ke ahir hayat kita! InsyAAllah.

06-02-09 : Bercerita tentang career !

Tujuh belas keluarga berkumpul di Mushrif Park dan tiga puloh orang anak2 kami bersama menyertai program "Career Talk" anjuran MyUAEPRO - persatuan rakyat Malaysia di sini.


Di waktu anak2 kita masih mencari paksi kehidupan .... begitu penting kita memberi mereka peta dan kompas yang se imbang, dunia dan akhirat. Hari itu kami ibu bapa mengambil satu pendekatan memberi mereka awareness mengenai career options. Baca di sini untuk report sepenuhnya.

"Plan a life around a career" atau "Plan a career around your life" satu persoalan yang perlu di fikirkan.


Yang pertama itu selalunya terjadi jika kita tidak membuat persiapan dan perancangan mengenai bidang kerjaya kita. Jika kerjaya kita terjadi secara rambang dan accidental, maka kehidupan kita menjadi pengikut kepada kerjaya.


Sebaliknya, dalam situasi kedua kita merancang dan mengambil langkah pro-aktif mengenai minat kita yang mendalam dan cara dan gaya hidup yang kita inginkan. Dengan sendirinya kita berusaha mengejar impian itu sebagai bidang kerjaya kita. Contohnya, jika seseorang itu berminat dalam bidang fotografi dan penulisan, dan gaya hidup yang dia inginkan ialah untuk sentiasa dapat menziarah tempat2 baru, dan mengambil fotografi dan menulis dengan kreatif. Seharusnya dia mendalami bidang 'Journalism' sebagai kerjaya dan bukannya sebagai seorang doktor.
Inilah yang di maksudkan, "Plan your career around your life!"

Meeting with Tan Sri Muhyidin !

Picture by Abdul Halim.

The author posed for a photo with Tan Sri Muhyidin Yasin, the Minister of International Trade and Industry Malaysia.

"I will come back and that time you can organize a dialog session with Malaysians in Dubai!" he said to me as he was leaving the dinner function.

"Tan Sri, I await your return visit!"

Known as one of the hardest working Minister, Tan Sri Muhyidin came across as an unassuming, warm hearted and a leader who leads from the front! He has created legacies in all of the Ministries at Federal level for which he has served. At state level, Johor took significant strides forward during his premiership as the Chief Minister.

During my brief meeting with him at the dinner function, unlike most politicians he spoke little and listened more! And unlike his reputation for not smiling, that evening he was ever so charming ~ smiling all the time, especially when teased about his future. It was his listening and genuine smile which endeared him to those who were fortunate enough to have been there !

Looking ahead, it is not hard for me to imagine that one day in the future, I will be telling my children ~ I took this picture when he was not yet a Prime Minister, not even a deputy at the time!

HERE my meeting with the PM!

Meeting the Prime Minister!

Pic by Abdul Halim

The author of this blog met the top leader of his country!


A leader communicates! Whether to inspire, to direct, to garner support, to get ideas, or simply to inform, a leader must have the highest level of communication skill. Leadership moments are communication moments.


The Top Leader of my country visited and met with fellow citizens in Dubai at a dinner function last Thursday. I was there, and like others I was expecting to hear 'messages' from his honorable Sir. The messages were lost somewhere between his rostrum to my dining table. And looking at faces around the hall, I got the impression that the messages were probably left behind in the suites of Atlantis. *I came to understand from reliable sources later on that the visit and the stay at the super luxury hotel were paid for by the hosting government - so, cool it you guys who worried that the country's pot of gold could have been mortgaged to pay for the trip!*.


The PM's salvation moments came when he walked from table to table after the dinner to greet fellow citizens and to pose for photos with us eager beavers. Anyone dropping in during those moments could be excused for thinking Hana Montana was in town amidst her fans. Even known die hard political critics were seen shaking hands and smiling from ear to ear as they have their pictures taken with the soon to retire PM. He was a very friendly man, our PM. Smiling as always, he gracefully floated from one table to the next and warmly obliging to requests for photos to be taken. Under the chandelier lights of the ShangriLa, I saw a tired looking PM who tried his level best to leave behind a positive impression. Given that his legacies were little known, impression was probably the best he was hoping for. I was enchanted with the beauty, stateswoman like and grace of his wife, Datin Sri Jean. She radiated a kind of motherly confidence and affection which told those who noticed that Paklah would be well looked after , and his injuries from the battle of politics would be ably nursed ~ post his retirement.


For me, that evening was my moments to feel proud being a Malaysian! Away from home I was able to stand shoulder to shoulder with the Prime Minister!


Thank you H E Consul General of Malaysia for hosting and for inviting us Malaysians. Sir, more of such opportunities to meet Leaders from our country please...!

Malaysia 7 : Singapore 3!

Friday 16th January.

Dubai.

Satu perlawanan Bowling di antara Malaysia dengan Singapura berahir dengan kemenangan cemerlang untuk pasukan Malaysia.

Nik Rahman, selaku orang kuat pasukan Bowling dan wakil dari MyUAEPRO telah bermain cemerlang dan juga telah berjaya menaikkan semangat pemain-pemain lain.

Perlawanan ini turut di sertai olih Tuan Consul General Malaysia ke Dubai, Tuan Syed Mohd Hasrin. Sikap Tuan Consul yang mudah berdamping dengan warga Malaysians di sini cukup di senangi ramai.

Presiden MyUAE PRO, Ariffin Mamat turut menghadirkan diri walaupun tidak mengambil bahagian.

Syabas kepada pasukan Malaysia!!

Tahniah buat Team Terbaik Malaysia yang mendapat score tertinggi diantara 10 team Malaysia dan tahniah juga buat Team Terbaik Singapore .

Terima kasih kepada penganjur, pemain2 dari Abu Dhabi & Dubai dan semua penyokong2 yang hadir.

TQ. Lapuran extracted and expanded from Nik Rahman's report.

More Photos HERE

Malaysia Boleh!