"Work-life balance!" ~one perspective.

"I got it totally wrong lah! I thought I was keeping her company. But my wife complained. She said she needed personal space!" My ex-board colleague from previous life said in responce to my question on what has been some of the adjustment he has to make upon his retirement.

On average, working life span over thirty over years. During that period, busy work schedules limit family time to daily routines and obligations. While some odd couples spend their weekend like belangkas together, most however choose to pursue their social interest separately. Husbands spend time on golf courses, or out with their buddies fishing somewhere little known to the wives. Wives boil and toil over house keeping and children minding. Some hardy ones, hold their own court and pursue their own past-times which may include little shopping indulgence enough to make husbands regret leaving them alone.

For thirty odd years, working spouses have their own circle of friends and their personal spaces. Wives can get used to having their ''alone'' time when husbands are at work. What they do with their alone time, God knows! But that is what happens to my ex-board colleague who ihas retired recently. His wife finds his presence as a bit "too much". He is there every where she looks, and he is there even when she tries to be by herself. He wants to make up for lost time ~ she tries to maintain her luxury of 'free time'. She does not appreciate all the sudden attention, and worse all of the sudden demand for attention.

"Our biggest adjustment has been getting used to having each other by our side all the time again" he said, and we laughed. We laughed, but we both knew it was not funny. It was kind of sad. Many of us are placing such high priority and focus on our career that we have conditioned ourselves to accept less than perfect relationship to develop at home. Some of these relationship are not even on proper conversational terms. Communication become limited to a 'question and answer'of ''ýes and no" sessions. Intimate moments between husbands and wives become matter of responsibility and obligation. No intimacy, no romance, no pillow talks. Friendship between spouses become contractual and a matter of duty. Love making reduces to a 2 minute start to finish ~a little shorter than it takes to cook instant noodles!

My entry rambles with random thoughts from my mind but I do want to emphasize my point about having a "work life balance". Focus on careers should not be amplified to a point where life and love at home become compromised. Remember, employers retire you from your job but you will live with your companions at home for life! 24 hours a day!!! No escaping. No meetings to go to. No overseas trips, alone!!!
Just as you focus on chasing career success, invest with equal zeal in chasing success with your family life. Whether you like it or not, you can't semi retire yourself from your marriages, if what you are looking for is a long happy fullfilling life.

After two weeks away from the embrace of my dear wife, I am looking forward to my return flight tonight!