What is becoming of me...

There I was, alone, on the upper deck of the Boeing 747 ( I know very old plane! ) on an India flight from Cochin to Jeddah, just been awoken from my slumber by a soothing voice asking if I want to eat. And I immediately looked at my watched and configured what time it was in Malaysia. While I nodded a 'Yes' to the food question, my mind was thinking of you and the children. "What would you be doing at that very moment?"
The plane has taken off about 10 minutes ago, and we were on a short leg to Calicut for a one hour transit. The stewardess brought a tray filled with sandwiches, spring roll, and a glass of water. I took the water and returned the rest. Absolutely no appetite, I wondered why I said I wanted food in the place.
The stewardess made no fuss, she simply smiled and went back to her cabin leaving me to my own thoughts.
I was missing home! No, that was not it!
I was missing you, and home is where ever you are!
I slipped low into my seat, pulled my blanket up to cover my face. That very moment, tears simply trickled down my cheeks.

I tried to rationalize what exactly made me feel that way. There was no rational neither any logic. It was just the thought of flying back to an empty house. The thought of not having you there waiting to welcome me with your usual hug. The thought of pulling my trolley bag into a dark living room, quiet and empty. The thought of having so much to share about things I have done during the last few days I was in India, but no one to listen. I got quickly got hold of myself! It was a short interlude but enough to bring awareness to me, how much I have been missing my wife and children. The last time I saw them was July 3rd, one month back.

I watched two movies during the flight, both were Hindi movies. One was a classic - 'Yaadon Ki Baraat', about three brothers who were separated by circumstances after their parents were murdered, and re-united after the youngest of them turned into a singer and kept on singing their family song - the title song of the movie. I truly enjoyed this nostalgic oldie. At this particular scene where they re-discovered each other, for the second time during the flight I had tears in my eyes.

I watched a second movie, of which I forgot the title. It was about a super wealthy Indian guy who lived in New York and used his wealth to get any girl he wanted. That was until he met Varsha, a girl with high moral values. At the same time, in parallel, a man named Shankar was dreaming about a girl, and have even painted many pictures of her. It was Varsha! I did not get to finish the movie, as the plane had landed in Jeddah.

Back to my my house, I did walk into a dark living room. The house was as quiet and empty as I had imagined. But I was not sad nor melancholic anymore. I was quite relieved to be back. After a quick shower to wash away the smell of India, I leaned back on the sofa and turned on the TV. The show on Hollywood channel was "Please take my kids". A show where a couple was treated to a romantic holiday, just the two of them while a baby sitter is brought in to look after their children. Mistake! My mistake!
At one scene, when the wife hugged her husband and whispered, "I love you" while looking straight into his eyes, I found myself off the cliff again. It was an ordinary scene. But to an ordinary man like me, who is living an extraordinary life by being away from people I love, it tugged at my soft spots.

What is becoming of me....
I am turning sentimental and melancholic.