
When I arrived in the UK for the first time in mid 70s, amongst things I was excited about was to visit Soho. There had been so much hype about what were going on in Soho amongst Malaysian students who have 'been there and seen that'! I could not helped but be curious.
However I was not placed in London. From the Heathrow airport, a group of senior Malaysian students whisked us directly to various little towns where we were placed to do our A levels. Mine was to be in a little town called Grantham! Other new and more noble things to which I was exposed to made me forget about Soho and all of its porn glories.
Now in 2009, the porno virus is much closer to all of us including our children than Soho was to me back then in the seventies. A porn virus lurches in clouds above us, carried by porno websites and made accessible only by a few click of the keyboards. If I was curious back then, why would I not want to believe that my children would harbour similar curiosity today. I did not get to entertain my curiosity due all the complexities associated with having to physically go to Soho ~ but what would stop my children from surfing even accidentally into such websites from their laptops in the comfort of their own rooms?
A fourteen year old may do a search of the word "Boobs" and may get to see what he was hoping to see in all of their fleshy glories. What seemed like an adolescent innocent curiosity about a human anatomy can easily ended up with a peek into a full-fledge porn pictures and videos. At least here in the Middle East, I can breath easy that almost all of such sites are screened and banned by internet service providers! I would like to believe this is true...although I know of employers who have terminated the employment of their staff for browsing into porno sites at work. How on earth those staff managed to penetrate the firewalls???
Some facts:
1. There is full nudity on MySpace and, according to a recent survey, there are also 26,000 registered sex offenders on the site.
2. 90% of children in the UK have looked at porn online and the average age for first time view is eleven!
3. 50% of all internet traffic is related to sex and porno sites.
Now consider this, "Your own children may have visited such sites too....!"
You can say, " No never!" and be in a state of denial for the sake of wanting to feel good about your children or you can be a little more accepting of current reality and find ways to guide and educate them about porn and what bad influence those porn sites can give them.
Realizing that whether I like it or not, Porn is so close to home, I have chosen the later. I let my children know first of all that in the UAE it is illegal to view porno pictures and videos or go into porn sites! People caught doing so can be deported! It is that serious....Second of all, I let them know all the bad things that can happen from indulging in porn. Thirdly, I relate to teachings of Islam....about why our religion has forbidden display of Aurat! There are good reasons....
However I was not placed in London. From the Heathrow airport, a group of senior Malaysian students whisked us directly to various little towns where we were placed to do our A levels. Mine was to be in a little town called Grantham! Other new and more noble things to which I was exposed to made me forget about Soho and all of its porn glories.
Now in 2009, the porno virus is much closer to all of us including our children than Soho was to me back then in the seventies. A porn virus lurches in clouds above us, carried by porno websites and made accessible only by a few click of the keyboards. If I was curious back then, why would I not want to believe that my children would harbour similar curiosity today. I did not get to entertain my curiosity due all the complexities associated with having to physically go to Soho ~ but what would stop my children from surfing even accidentally into such websites from their laptops in the comfort of their own rooms?
A fourteen year old may do a search of the word "Boobs" and may get to see what he was hoping to see in all of their fleshy glories. What seemed like an adolescent innocent curiosity about a human anatomy can easily ended up with a peek into a full-fledge porn pictures and videos. At least here in the Middle East, I can breath easy that almost all of such sites are screened and banned by internet service providers! I would like to believe this is true...although I know of employers who have terminated the employment of their staff for browsing into porno sites at work. How on earth those staff managed to penetrate the firewalls???
Some facts:
1. There is full nudity on MySpace and, according to a recent survey, there are also 26,000 registered sex offenders on the site.
2. 90% of children in the UK have looked at porn online and the average age for first time view is eleven!
3. 50% of all internet traffic is related to sex and porno sites.
Now consider this, "Your own children may have visited such sites too....!"
You can say, " No never!" and be in a state of denial for the sake of wanting to feel good about your children or you can be a little more accepting of current reality and find ways to guide and educate them about porn and what bad influence those porn sites can give them.
Realizing that whether I like it or not, Porn is so close to home, I have chosen the later. I let my children know first of all that in the UAE it is illegal to view porno pictures and videos or go into porn sites! People caught doing so can be deported! It is that serious....Second of all, I let them know all the bad things that can happen from indulging in porn. Thirdly, I relate to teachings of Islam....about why our religion has forbidden display of Aurat! There are good reasons....
"Curiosity in children, is but an appetite for knowledge. One great reason why children abandon themselves wholly to silly pursuits and trifle away their time insipidly is, because they find their curiosity balked, and their inquiries neglected!"
- John Locke
I wonder why I never bother to search/open any porn site when I was little. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact that my curious 11-year-old son is guilty. My husband said we can't curb that curiousity. I'd like to borrow your wise reasonings and let my kids know why as Muslims we should not be inclined to see certain things.
ReplyDeleteHu Hu.. this hits home again.
ReplyDeleteI had an experience with my 11 year old son late last year. Nasib baik dia tak tahu how to delete his web browser's history. Zaman I remaja, mums will just confiscate whatever. Sekarang ni kids are inclined to find out more if we ban without reason. So I took a deep breath and sat and talked to my son about it. The soalan cepu emas being " what do we get from sex mum?". Wanted the ground to swallow me there and then. Rasanya whatever I answered satisfied him. It's an ongoing process. He will be given more appropriate info, as he gets older I told him. And he was okay with that.
id, yup...i chose the latter too. i am quite open with my kids, both boys and girl on sex topic. i belive knowledge is empowerment :)
ReplyDeletethen comes good judgement...hehehe
disini selamat sikit sebab site yang tak elok tu dah diblock..
ReplyDeletekalau di tempat kita, perlu pasang security lah kot..
tapi susah juga kalau mereka surf the net frm outside kan..
mungkin perlu cerita pada mereka apa yang baik dan apa yang tak baik kan... :)
salam,
ReplyDeleteSetakat ni rasa tak de anak2 yang surf porn sites tapi memang ia macam dah lumrah dalam hidup anak2 muda untuk explore apa yang ingin diketahui .Bagus UAE ambil tindakan tegas pada yang surf porno sebab di Jordan amat bebas pak2 arab tu dengan muka tak malu pergi cc hanya untuk tonton benda yang tak senonoh tu .
btw, bab match-maker tu I setakat ni tak nak jadi match-maker untuk anak2 kerana biar diaorang pilih pasangan yang mereka cintai :)
cahaya :-)
ReplyDeletegood for you!!
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Queen :-) we share similar thinking....!!
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Mrs A :-) sounds like you handled the situation very well...
syabas!!
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mama rock :-) i like the way u put it!
knowledge is empowerment!!
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neeza :-) yess....saudi pun sama juga, almost all sites like that blocked out.
tapi masih ada yang boleh masok...
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sarina :-)
oh Jordan pun sama ye....!!
ur son has chosen well!! Semoga bahagia ke ahir hayat...
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Pp
I use a software called K9 on my home PC. It's free.
ReplyDeleteTapi on top of that I kasi lecture lah to my kids (I have 3 boys, what to do).. I think one that worked really well with them was when I said "When you look at those pictures, remmeber that they are someone's daughter, mother, sister. Imagine if someone looked of a picture of me or Anis like that".
I think that turned them totally off! ha ha ha
elisa :-)
ReplyDeletetergelak i baca your reasoning with your sons....boleh imagine!
but but, memang ori tu..and I may use it someday with my grandsons...!
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Pp