When a father becomes a match-maker!

Twenty five years ago I fell in love with a girl. My and her parents were informed of our intention to tie the knots with a certain aura of conviction they both agreed. Twenty five years on, we are blessed to be parents to three twenty-something children, two in their teens and a young one who is nine!

Time has definitely change. At least for me! While my parents left me alone in matters of my heart, I have become overly participative when it comes to my own children ~ especially when it comes to matters of choosing their life partners.

There is a girl, a daughter of a family friend, whom I particularly like. I can envisage her as my daughter-in-law. She is seventeen. I imagine her as a life-partner to one of my sons. When I was on the phone today with Fariz, I told him, "Ayah nak introduce you to Auntie A's daughter. You contact dia directly lah! Hopefully you and her will like each other. She is sweet..and perempuan baik dari keluarga baik2!"

Fariz later on joked with his mom, "Why is Ayah sounding like a match maker ! Dia nak kita cari orang Kelantan ke!"

Fariz's comment prompted my wife and I to discuss his point, "Why am I behaving like a match-maker!"

1. I am driven by a strong desire to see my children, sons and daughter, happy in their married lives. As much as possible I want to shelter them from 'bad' people and filter 'bad' people from them.

2. I have seen too many 'rotten' apples that I have become wary of my children's ability to pick a good one from a basket of what seems to be filled with ripe and nice apples. Even girls in tudung have 'done it!' Ermmm, shocking but so true.

3. I am old fashion when it comes to love and finding life partners. There are girls to party with, there are girls to share your life with. Party girls will party with the next guy who can dance better and own flasher car. Life partners, will be there with you comes rain or shine, for life!
I am fortunate myself to have found a life partner in my dear wife!

4. A marriage is an institution made up of many stake-holders. To have a happy marriage, all stake holders are equally important in their respective roles. Thus knowing the family and roots of my potential in-laws is important to me. I want to be able to get along and have a cordial relationship with the parents of my children-in-laws.

5. I have taken 'more salt'! I know my children will probably laugh their belly sick at this particular reasoning. But having taken 'more salt' has given me a fatherly intuition of what will and will not work!

In one sentence, I am participative in my children's lives because I love them and want only the best for them! ~ their education, their career, and their lives!
I wish I can lean back like my parents were twenty five years ago ! I wish...but I can't! Twenty five years ago, kissing a girl was forbidden. Virginity was a virtue. That was twenty five years ago!

I am a modern and open minded father who discusses things like love and romance with my children. At the same time, I am a father with traditional values!