Ketika ku sujud di bawah bayangan Kaabah..~!

Khamis 23hb Disember 2011.

Umrah bersama isteri, Amirul, dan Luqman.

Tiada tempat di dunia ini, di mana tangisan bukan kerana kesedihan tetapi kerana kesyukuran kecuali di bawah bayangan Kaabah Mu. Di sini, mengalir air mata mengharapkan pengampunan dosa! Di sini basah pipi ketika menyebut doa untuk ayahanda dan bonda. Di sini, kerdil rasa diri, Kebesaran Mu meresap ke jiwa.

Tiada destinasi di dunia ini di mana tetamu sentiasa merasai paling istimewa, kecuali menjadi tetamu Nya - mengelilingi Kaabah, mengatur tapak di antara Safa dan Marwah! Bersatu, di antara jasmani dan rohani, di antara kata-kata dan detik di hati, jasad dan roh - menemui erti damai dan harmoni!

"Di dalam hati manusia ada kekusutan dan tidak akan terurai

kecuali menerima kehendak Allah swt.

Di dalam hati manusia ada keganasan dan tidak akan hilang

kecuali berjinak dengan dengan Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kesedihan dan tidak akan hilang

kecuali seronok mengenali Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kegelisahan dan tidak akan tenang damai

kecuali berlindung, bertemu dan berjumpa denganNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada penyesalan dan tidak akan padam

kecuali redha dengan suruhan dan laranganNya serta qadha dan qadarNya serta kesenantiasaan sabar sehingga menemuiNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada hajat dan tidak akan terbendung

kecuali kecintaan kepadaNya dan bermohon kepadaNya.

Kesentiasaan berzikir kepadaNya adalah keikhlasan sebenar kepadaNya

Andai dunia dan isinya diberikan kepada manusia masih tidak lagi dapat membendung hajat hati sihamba itu." - copied from a forwarded email.

Ya Rabbi, Alhamdullillah dengan nikmat Mu kepada kami - di antara yang terpilih untuk ke sini~!

InshAAllah, kami ingin ke sini lagi...

The real secret of a happy marriage...!

Will all married men or women who have never had a fight with your spouse, please raise your hands!

Okay, I only see one hand in the audience.

"Tell me ma'am, how do you manage not to have a fight?"

Silence and lots of blinking.

"Oh, okay. How many years have you been married ma'am?"

A smile across her face. Then rather shyly she answers, "Two months!"

The rest of the audience applause!

That, in itself is an achievement! I mean, to have two full months of marriage without any argument? Wow...such bliss!

The real secret to a happy marriage is to be able to argue as often it calls for, fight if necessary, and to be able to sit down afterwards and make up!

Couples who do not fight are often stressed and unhappy - even if outwardly they put up a happy front! These couples could be 'suffering' from one or more of the followings:

- Bottled up emotions, waiting to burst.

- Their relationship is so fragile, they fear any argument may break them up!

- They do not trust each other.

- Their love for each other are so conditional that they do not wish to risk offending one another.

- They simply do not how how to communicate their thoughts and opinions freely and objectively.

- Lots of compromises taking place in the relationship.

- Either one of them or both are having affairs outside their marriage.

...................and, the list can go on!

In having an argument, it helps greatly if both husband and wife follow some basic civilized rules such as showing respect, doing so in private, focusing on issues and not on the person, etc. Name calling (e.g.,fat ass, lazy bump), gross generalization (e.g., you are always messing the kitchen, you always want your way every time!) , and abusive language of any sort is a NO NO!

Some other side rules are;

> fight outside and make up inside the bedroom.

> fight in private, and make up in even more private place.

> fight fully clothed, and in making up keep an option to easily go naked!

> don't believe any advise that marriage is a 50 / 50 arrangement! A marriage is about two people giving their full 100 / 100 !

If you have secrets of your own, I hope you are happy to share!

Amirul in the News!

I received a call from Dato Wan Asmadi, the President of Malaysian Business Council (MBC) di Jeddah early morning today to tell me that my son Amirul was in the Saudi National News paper - the Arab News.

There was a whole page article about what he and his colleagues have achieved. There were a few things about the accomplishment which made me proud...the entrepeneur spirit he showed in getting sponsors, the independence and self-and-team leadership he displayed throughout the period of the project, the positive attitude and camaradrie in his approach towards overcoming obstancles, and the fun he had in pursuing excellence with a passion!

They have put the Saudi Flag amongst the victors list, and fully deserved the full page splash in the national newspaper!

Yet again, I am reminded of one of the main reasons why I am here - for a better quality education for my children. They are exposed to a learning process which prepares them to succeed in a borderless global village - which awaits their generation in the not so far future!

You may read the article online HERE.

There is always an alternative...

I believe in miracles. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe...where there are problems, there will be alternatives and solutions!

The sudden announcement by the Bank Negara capping housing loans to a maximum of 70% margin for 3rd house onwards caught me napping, literally. I was still asleep in Jeddah when the announcement was on mainstream media in Malaysia. In a way I was glad, I was able to get a good night sleep, and have a whole day to figure out what to do!

To do something I must! I was short by a large amount of money to pay for the newly inflicted 20% margin as a consequence of the new announcement. When I made property purchases a few months back, I was banking on 90 percent margin, and had made a contigency plan only for a worse case of a lower margin at 80% loan! Being a born optimist, I did not in my plan consider that the wise ones at the Central Bank were contemplating to revise the rule.

True I am an optimist. Also true, I am a resourceful optimist. Even more true, I go about my investment in real estate with a good dosage of a 'Gambler's mentality'! That is to say, I am happy if I can earn a few bucks from a few properties even if I lose a few buck on a couple of other properties. Sometimes, I cut my loses, and other times, I maximise my profits. Most times, I calculate my potential earning as well as my cost of opportunity loss if a decision is delayed. I follow my gut more than my head. This is not the way prescribed in books on the subject of 'How to make millions from real estate' or the like. This works for me, but it may not for you, so please take this particular sharing with a health warning. The message in the next sentence however, is often preached by self-help Gurus and I have adopted it as an intrinsic attitude! It works for me....and it may work for you too! "......no matter what the situation is; there is always an alternative, a solution!"

After a few phone calls accompanied by strokes of good luck which, I was sure, were interventions from Allah (Alhamdullillah), the following happened....

>>An agent, out of the blue, called me on two consequtive days with news that two of my properties in Denai Alam which were only 85% completed have been sold! I asked for a 3% earnest deposit instead of customery 2%, and in exchanged I agreed to delay the signing of S&P by two weeks giving the buyers more time to raise the balance 7%! I was able to get more cash upfront, and the buyers got two weeks extra time!

>> I called the ustaz contractor in Kelantan who, a few months back sold me some plots of land, and I offered to him to buy back a few plots at the original price. I asked for cash payment. He agreed!

The above two actions, plus a few others taken, were able to provide solutions to my cash flow bottle neck!

ALHAMDULLILAH~!

A father should act like a father~!

Acting the part, is as important in real life as it is done by actors in movies. In each of our life, we have certain parts to act! A father has to act like a father, just like a villain in a movie must act like a villain! A father therefore, should not act like a friend. That doesn't mean you can't be a friendly father!

It may confuse a pre-school child when his father start acting like friends with whom he play at school. Many modern parents, after reading too many books about parenting, perhaps try too hard to please their young children even to the extent of role playing as children themselves. Beware - you may confuse your children of how to relate to you as a father. One possible involuntary effect of that is, the child may look for a father figure from someone else~!

....What if, the person who your child consider as his father figure happens to be the biggest loser alive!

In my view, it is better to stick to the rule. Choose the traditional way. Once upon a time, a father is a person held highly above everyone else often with a mixed of emotion; feared, respected, admired, role-modeled, loved, and some other adverbs.

Once upon a time, a father is the protector and the source of security for the whole family. Time has changed, and so has fathers. Many today are simply confused themselves of the roles they should play!

So they become their own child molester. They confuse loving with spoiling. They can't tell the difference between giving freedom and abdicating responsibility.

I lost my own father when I was only ten. I remember how I looked up to my eldest brother-in-law as my father figure. It just happened without any kind of pyschological consulatation. Rule of nature has dictated that, everyone needs a father, and in the absence of one, the child in us turn to someone who we can consider as a father fugure.

If you are a father, then, be a father!

Below is an extract I found from a website.

Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.

The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.

Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.

Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation.

Fathers and Small ChildrenWhen babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.

When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.

Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.

The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.

Fathers of Children at Primary School
Learning to meet challenges
As children reach school age, they begin to grapple with learning more adult-like skills, testing them out in new environments, and dealing with the feelings evoked by successes and failures. A sense of industry, or a belief that he or she can accomplish a goal or master a skill, is important to a child's developing sense of self-esteem. Fathers seem to be key teachers in this area. As one expert puts it, 'the quality of the father's involvement during this period is a crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to meet new challenges in a positive manner.'
One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. In one study, children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills. Accomplishing tasks at this age is so important, and fathers' involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger influence on their children's self-esteem at this age than do mothers.

By encouraging children to take on new challenges, fathers help them not only to learn new skills, but also to take responsibility for their own actions. [24] Fathers with a strong commitment to their family provide a model of responsible behaviour for their children. These children have an internal sense of control, which means that they are more likely to believe that their successes and failures are due to their own efforts rather than due to external factors. These children tend to take more responsibility for their actions and rarely blame others for their mistakes.

Fathers usually have a positive influence on their children's sense of industry, competence, and responsibility. However, if a father discourages his children and intrudes on potential learning situations by being too restrictive or imposing his own solutions, he will have a bad influence on his children. Whether this type of paternal behaviour is motivated by a desire to protect his child, by feelings of impatience or frustration, or by his lack of trust in the child, it can hamper children's development of creativity, motivation, and problem-solving skills, making them less responsible and more dependent.

If you wish to read the full article on the website, the original article can be found here.

Grease!

Lil and I were at my sons' school this evening, watching 'Grease'! The hall was packed, and all three nights of the show were sold out. The audience was truly entertained; the singing and acting were not perfect but were entertaining. The castings were superb. The props were awesome, but I maybe biased since Haziq prepared the 'Car'. Remember the car, which Danny and Sandy used for the drive-in movie?

I was taken back to my first year in England, waking up to summer days and nurturing dreams throughout the summer nights. I was falling in and out of love on daily basis, admiring every single girls with pony tails who happened to smile at me. I was seventeen, awkward and too self conscious to make any positive impression on any girl, but I was in love...even if, I was only in love with love.

The memories of those first summer days were brought alive this evening, and of all places, amidst teen agers and their parents inside my sons' school hall, here in Jeddah.

Ahah, I enjoyed this evening! Well done boys and girls.

"Apakah cita-cita anak2 kita, agaknya?"

Written by Ariffin Mamat for STAR dot My.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010 02:34

Tiba-tiba teringatkan anak2 kita, the young STARIANS di Tingkatan Lima yang sedang menghadapi peperiksaan SPM sekarang ini. Apa agaknya perasaan mereka? Adakah mereka juga berdebar2 setiap kalimemasuki dewan, seperti berdebarnya aku pada penghujung tahun 1975 dulu? Bagaimanakah persediaan mereka? Semoga mereka lebih bersedia dari aku dan kawan2 yang terpaksa membakar minyak di tengah malam (burning mid-night oil lah!) diminggu2 terahir sebelum peperiksaan. Kepada mereka aku mengucapkan 'Selamat menempuh peperiksaan dan semoga berjaya, dan kejayaan dalam peperiksaan nanti memanjangkan langkah mengejar cita2! Apakah agaknya cita2 mereka? Di zaman aku dulu, ramai yang bercita2 menjadi jurutera, akauntan, arkitek, pensyarah, dan tidak kurang juga yang bercita2 menjadi guru dan polis. Aku sendiri terpaksa mengubah cita2 aku demi mencari peluang terbaik untuk menerima biasiswa untuk menyambung pelajaran ke luar negara. Justeru,untuk persaingan yang tidak sehangat bidang kejuruteraan, aku memilih untuk meneruskan pelajaran dalam bidang Physics . Aku berjaya mendapat biasiswa! Bermaksud aku berjaya mendekati cita2 aku waktu itu - untuk belajar di luar negara, di United Kingdom khususnya. Perbedzaan di antara aku dari ramai rakan2 aku ialah, cita2 aku tidak merupakan 'Pekerjaan' tetapi matlamat semasa aku. Jika waktu itu untuk ke UK, kemudiannya, cita-cita aku ialah untuk lulus dalam peperiksaan A Level supaya dapat ke Universiti. Setahun demi setahun aku hanya memasang cita2 untuk berjaya dalam peperiksaan supaya aku dapat pulang dan mendapat kerja yang baik di Malaysia nanti. Apa2 kerja pun okey lah,asalkan bergaji lumayan dan mampu membeli kereta, menyewa rumah dan membayar hantaran untuk berkahwin dengan girl-friend aku, budak TKC. She later on became my ex-GF, sebab dah jadi isteri lah! Di tahun ahir mengejar degree di Portsmouth, ketika aku melamun, aku menulis cita2 aku sebagai begini: > Starting salary must be above 2000. >First car, Nissan or Toyota Corolla. >To get married within one year. > To send money to mother at least RM500 per month. > To find job in KL. Alhamdullillah, aku lulus dan pulang dengan ijazah kepujian dalam bidang Physics Industry,mendapat kerja di Texas Instruments as an Engineer dengan gaji permulaan RM2200. Tiga bulan setelah bekerja,aku telah selamat berkahwin dengan exGF budak TKC tu, dan kami sharing membeli kereta Nissan Sunny 130Y, dan menyewa di Taman Melawati. Aku juga menunaikan janji aku untuk mengirim wang kepada Ibu. Setelah mendapat anak pertama,akumelamun lagi dan menulis cita2 seterusnya: > Bungalow house.> Mercedes > Annual vacation with family > House for Mother > One house for every child > Pergi Haji > Would be nice to have a driver! Begitulah aku dengan cita2 aku. Tidak sekali pun aku menulis satu2 pekerjaan sebagai cita2. Pada aku, pekerjaan hanya the means to the end. The end is my cita2 - iaitu mengejar my own definition of what happiness is to me. Jadi di ketika our young STARIANS menempuhi peperiksaan dan tentunya memikirkan 'Apakah cita-cita mereka?' aku ingin tinggalkan beberapa persoalan. "What will make you happy?" "Why would achieving that make you happy?" "What will be the means for you to get those happiness?" Answering the above questions should lead you to visual images of what your happiness is like. In my view, and from my own experience, pursuing those images as your 'ambition' is more inspiring than focusing on a 'Profession'. Pekerjaan is exactly that -only a job! What a tragedy it is to one's life, if all we focus on is pursuing a particular job. Life is more meaningful when we are in pursuit of happiness and a higher level cause! What ever that higher level cause is for you. For some, making people they love happy and preparing for after life, are their main objectives in living. Please don't take my words as the absolute truth. All I want you to know is that, it has worked for me. For instance, when I was working in Singapore between 2000 to 2003, one of my ambitions was to come and live in Saudi to be close to Mecca. Alhamdullillah, I manage to get a job here and that has been a mean to achieve my real aspiration. Think about your ambition again. Perhaps, the profession you are focused on is only a mean to a more noble ambition! Be courageous to change - to focus on the 'your source of happiness' - and making sure you study hard as a mean to achieve that happiness! Visualize those dreams..."What you are able to conceive in your mind, you will be able to achieve! God willing of course".

Going the extra mile..

Through out my career I have seen, again and again, people who go the extra mile find it easier to move up their career ladder. They are happier and more confident with themselves too!

Going the extra mile may sound trivial and simple. However only a few actually go the extra mile as a matter of habit. For this group of people, it is part of their DNA. Let us discuss what does it take to make 'going the extra mile' a way of working that comes naturally, a habit!

I suggest there are three elements which need to be considered, which I will call the ABC of going the extra mile.

A. Anticipation!

- When you think you know what is expected of you, challenge that very mindset. Stretch it a little further. Anticipate and find out what will the output of your work be used for, by who, and when? Beat expectations on all those three fronts.

Let me illustrate.

The assignment may be given by your boss, but he may use the report to brief his boss, who in turn may use the information in his meeting with an investor. Your boss want the report to be ready by Monday morning.

Being an extra miler, you research the context of the report - and prepare it in a format which your boss can present to his boss, and include an executive summary which his boss can extract and use for his briefing with the investor. You have the report ready a few days in advance! That way, there is time for you to even do extra bit of work should your boss need additional information.

That is going the extra mile. An ordinary good employee finish the report by Monday morning as asked, in a format meant for the boss as the end user.

Similarly, going the extra mile in service is doing more than expected. Anticipating what your customer wants which is different from the other customer. Once, the hotel I was staying forgot my wake up call request. As a result I was late for my pick up. When I came back to my room in the evening, there was a cowboy hat filled with expensive chocolates and a letter from the manager, apologizing. It was a hotel in Dallas Texas, hence the cowboy hat! That happened way back in 1994, but to this date I still remember.

B. Basic!

In going the extra mile, make sure you cover the bases. The basic must be done very well, such as grammar, spellings, formatting, presentation, etc. Go the extra mile even in finding our what kind of fonts, and fonts size does your boss normally use when he writes his report for higher level. Going the extra mile in the basics ensure the effort you put into content will not be diluted by some silly mistakes!

The manager of the hotel, in making the gesture with the hat and the chocolates, did not forget the basic. He apologized! Apologizing for the mistake and my inconvenience was basic, the hat and the chocolates were the frills to thrill~!

C. Critical!

Be critical on your own work. Challenge it like your boss does, and better still challenge it like his boss would! Being critical and not easily satisfied with the outcome of your work is a crucial part of going the extra mile.

The manager of the hotel in Dallas Texas did not simply place some chocolates in a box on my bed, but he placed it in a very nice cowboy hat! In fact I brought home the hat as a souvenir. He empathize with me, and was critical on his hospitality standards.

It is in going the extra mile that we gain satisfaction, feel good about ourselves, and may even be rewarded for it. In the end, we gain trust from the people we deal with, and we differentiate ourselves from the rest!

If you are still in doubt, just think of what the initials of Going the Extra Mile spells!

- GEM, it is!

Haziq and friends - doing it their way~!

Haziq and two of his friends are on a mission! The video below tells a story ...



Their first project is 'Put out the flame...~!', a call to youngsters to say NO to smoking.



I hope to see many more in the near future...~!

The limbs of Sujud are seven...

A Friday morning sharing...

Cara Sujud yang betul , gambar ter atas!

Dan di bawah, cara yang betul ialah yang cara lelaki yang berjubah !

"Waktu yang paling hampir dengan Allah ialah ketika kita sujud kepada Nya!"

This is based upon the Hadith of Ibn Abbas who reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

"I was commanded to prostrate on seven bones i.e. on the forehead along with the tip of my nose (and the Prophet -pbuh- pointed towards his nose), both hands, both knees and the toes of both feet, and not to gather the clothes or the hair."

Common mistakes are

- the tip of the nose not touching the sejadah.

- the toes not curled to touch the sejadah.

- having hair or cloth between forehead and the sejadah.

Bimbingan Solat boleh di baca di sini.

Lihatlah bagaimana, janin di dalam kandungan juga sujud apabila mendengar bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al Quran. Klik Di sini.

May your prayer be accepted by Allah.

Allah hu Aklam.

Online marketing...House for Sale!

Sudah bertambah ramai usahawan berjaya sejak berkembangnya -internet- sebagai satu saluran sales & marketing.

Ada yang buat bisness tudung2 dan berbagai jenama pakaian, ada yang mengambil tempahan berbagai jenis masakan, ada yang menjual pinggan mangkuk. Tak kurang juga yang mengiklankan rumah untuk di jual.

Untuk menepati internet marketing, sudah tentunya kemahiran mengambil gambar dan video juga di perlukan. Sebagai contoh, kami menggunakan perhidmatan professional juru video untuk mengambil clip 4 minit video rumah semi D untuk di jual.

Mutu video yang di berikan kepada kami amat memuaskan. Bayaran amat berpatutan.

You may watch the video below.

Country Height, Kajang and you may contact propertyhdv.com for further details about the professional service. This advertisement is available on Vimeo.

Rendah Hati~!

Menjadi rendah diri hati.

Ketika kita berada di mercu kejayaan, kita biasanya tidak berfikir tentang situasi sekiranya kita jatuh ke bawah. Kita sering terlupa kepada mereka yang menyumbang ke arah kejayaan kita, terutamanya jika mereka lebih cenderung menyembunyi diri dari 'spotlight'.

Ironisnya tak kala berada di puncak lah kita harus lebih memandang ke bawah, memerhati dan mengambil pengajaran daripada cara "orang2 kecil" memberi perkhidmatan mereka dengan perasaan bersyukur dan rendah hati.

Amalan ini dapat menyedarkan kita dan sentiasa berjejak di bumi nyata. Sekiranya di takdirkan kita menempuhi suasana yang kurang bergemerlapan, dengan menghampiri mereka di bawah ketika kita berada di puncak, mungkin ada di antara mereka yang sudi meminjamkan cahaya harapan dan bantuan ketika kita memerlukan.

Saya mengucapkan 'Selamat Hari Raya Eidil Adha - Maaf Zahir Batin' kepada semua rakan2, pembaca. Semoga amalan dan doa kita di terima Allah.

27th anniversary!

"Happy Anniversary !"

This is a special month for my wife and I. Tomorrow, 13th November, we will be celebrating our 27th Anniversary, as husband and wife, a life-long partnership. And if we add to that the three years of our friendship prior to our marriage, it means we have known each other for 30 years. I have not spent as much of my life time with anyone else - than with my wife. We are as happy today if not happier, as we were during the care free students days in Portsmouth, South of England when we first met.

Alhamdullillah!

Our marriage had gone through the ups and downs, perhaps like most marriages would. While a few could not survived the tests, ours becomes stronger. We become aware of our limits and adapt. We become appreciative of what we have, and less envious of what we don't have.

I was once a young man who were more interested in chasing rather than nurturing. She was once a young girl who have read all about love from thousands of pages of Mills & Boons.

We met, and the term 'odd couple' couldn't have found a better example than us. I was out-going, temperamental, always broke, and prefer to spend my days sleeping and my nights seeking entertainments. She was homely, diligent in her studies, down to earth and stable, and at peace with herself and contented just to spend her time with a book and some roasted chestnuts.

We were aware of our differences; but we were also aware of the similarities. We were attracted to our differences; and bonded by our similarities, one of which has been mutual respect. That, in a nutshell, has been the secret of our longevity and happiness.

Lately, we have been talking a little about our life post my retirement. We are both excited with all the possibilities.

In the mean time, we are enjoying our life in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Mekah is an hour drive away, and Medinah is the same distance by air. We are very fortunate indeed.

Enjoying life as it comes, with healthy dosages of humor and a sense of adventure, have been the oxygen of our marriage.

This month is also a special month for all Muslims. To all our friends who are performing Hajj, we wish you 'Haji yang Mabroor'. InshaAllah, we are planning to travel to Mekah during this Hajj season, and jika ada rezki, dapat kita bertemu.

Paintings...~!

At the top of my list is the above painting adorning a special corner in our house. It was her very first painting. Since then she has painted a couple more...as farewell gifts for her friends in Dubai.

This special painting was created by Lil's fingers, following the flow of her heart! :-)

Painting: Taman Syifa'

Artist: Abu Bakar Idris

Studio: Galeri Chandan www.360kl.com

Purchased at an arts exhibition in Dubai, in 2009.

I love looking at this painting. It has a kind of soothing, calming effect just like the title of the painting suggests.

Below, at the center, is a painting which has travelled places. I bought this in Hanoi in 2003,

from the artist himself. I visited his studio in Hanoi, and was instantly attracted to the painting of a spring time garden at the Buckingham Palace. The painting was already included in the brochure for the artist's solo arts exhibition in London, so with my permission the painting was displayed at the exhibition with a SOLD tag on it. A few weeks later, the painting arrived at our then home in Singapore, extremely well packed in a wooden crate. From Singapore the Painting has followed me to Jeddah, then Dubai and now Jeddah again.It has been in the back ground of many photos!

Middle: in Jeddah the first time. My sister and her mates after Hajj in 2006.

Above: On the wall of our Dubai residence!

The walls of our current residence in Jeddah are covered by more paintings. I am sharing random photo shots here, as a way of sharing how cluttered it may look - but to me, they are all nice to look at.

If there ever were ONE painting which has started my imagination and fascination of paintings, it must be the "Mona Lisa"

Three for the Mona Lisa

by John Stone

1

It is not what she did
at 10 o'clock
last evening

accounts for the smile

It is
that she plans
to do it again

tonight.

2

Only the mouth
all those years
ever

letting on.

3

It's not the mouth
exactly

it's not the eyes
exactly either

it's not even
exactly a smile

But, whatever,
I second the motion.

My perception about re-union~!

"Shame on me!" No doubt about it.

Since I left STAR, I have been back only once. That was in 1997, soon after I acquired one of those re-conditioned imported used luxury cars! "Double shame on me!" For having a little hidden motive in making that effort to attend the re-union - to show off my latest new toy. That was the feeling when I left my humble home in Gombak starting the journey.

However...

When I arrived at the school gate, all the motives of showing off dispersed into thin air...whoooossshhhh, like a balloon been pricked by a needle, my ego left me. Every palm tree I passed from the gate to the famous little round about reminded me of my humble beginning and how the alma mater had unselfishly nourished me, physically, emotionally and educationally. I felt small in front of the majestic STAR!

And....

As I drove slowly around the school compound looking for a parking space, i began to feel ashamed of myself for even letting the thought of showing off to find a place within my heart.

I parked my car, the source of my pride, and the symbol of my success, hideously behind a tree next to Pak Hassan's house. I took off my brand new Nike sneakers and slipped on my worn out sandals which I had kept in the boot for Friday prayers. I also changed into a plain green T shirt. I wanted none of those worldly symbols to misrepresent me! I was the same kampung boy, and i didn't need any recognition for what i was not!

But....

Boys when they turn into men, inherit a few things from their fore-fathers of the cave days! They become unnecessarily competitive with each other. They compete for women, for spot lights, for thrones, even for stones and scones! So beware, when your long lost friends ask you, "Hang dok mana la nie?" He actually want to assess what type of house can you afford to buy, and what type of neighbourhood you live in. From those, they infer what types of people you rub shoulders with! More pointedly, what kind of salary are you drawing! ho ho ho, I hope it is only my perception lah, not reality!

"Gombak!" I answered. My friend sniggered. He said, "Oh, that is a Malay area right, many squatters too!"

And made no mistake. When he asked me the question, he expected me to return the same.

"Hang dok mana?" I asked. His nose went way up, as he looked down, he replied, "Taman Tun!"

I was supposed to say, "Wow! Mahal tu rumah kat situ!" So I did, "Wow!" I said.

"Yep, I bought it for 2 million, took only 50% loan!" He answered, making sure a few friends nearby could also hear!

Once I realized he has not changed a bit from the days we were in school, I carried on, "Hang drive kereta apa laa ni?"

"Hang agak?" He asked. Wow, by this time his nostril was pointing towards the sky! Hahaha, I chuckled silently. Boleh pulak dia tanya kita suruh teka-teka! Apa kes~!

I slapped his a shoulder as a way of joking, "Kereta lembu kut!"

"Tell you what, later when we are going for the lunch at the lake, you come with me. I drive you in my car!" He said, and by this time dangling his car key! A Beemer!

I did! It was one heck of a car, and he deserved every ounce of pride to own one. At one traffic light, another friend pulled along side. The friend was driving an old Nissan. His plush electric window went down and he gestured to the old Nissan guy to do the same.

"Hoi, hang bawak kereta hang tu jauh2 sikit dari kereta aku boleh tak! Hahahaha!" He sniggered and laughed.

The friend in the old Nissan gave him his middle finger and shouted back amidst laughter, "Up yours lah with your Beemer!"

I gave a thumb's up to the friend in Nissan!

All three of us laughed. Yes, but what dent was left on the Nissan friend's ego, we would never know.

That was the first and last time I attended a STAR old boys re-union in STAR. I came home feeling rather disturbed. I asked my wife about her TKC old girls re-union, if similar competitiveness exist?

My wife answered, "Nope! When old girls meet we just wanna have fun like the good old days!"

And...that is the way it should be.

(The writer is from Batch '75 STAR, and he also writes HERE)

One of life pleasure is....

One of life simple pleasures is teaching my son to ride a bike!

My eldest son learned from his (arwah) grand-pa! My daughter, simply followed her survival instinct and did it herself. My son number three and number four share a little secret - both of them can't ride a bike! I missed the opportunity to teach them when they were younger, and now they are too self conscious to learn! Son number five was challenged by his friends, and a few bruises later he was a victor~!

I was quite determined to be involved in Luqman's learning experience.

Luqman, at ten is a late starter. Inheriting my DNA of being a cautious over-thinker of any given new situation, Luqman develops a fear of falling. The first time around when I was pushing and holding him along the cycling track, he rode the bike white-knuckled. He imagined the worse - what if he were to fall! I asked him to relax, not to think and to just follow the motion. Occasionally I let him go and he continued riding okay until he realised I was no longer holding him, then he immediately became fearful and lost his balance.

Tonight, for the second lesson we lowered his seat, then Lil and I took him to a tennis court behind our house. Seeing the open space and softer turf, he developed a sense of security and his confidence rose. He went off like a pro!

Lesson: Minimize causes of his fear!

Way to go Luqman - congratulations! Tonight, not only he learned how to ride, but more importantly he learned that he can conquer fears!