A father should act like a father~!

Acting the part, is as important in real life as it is done by actors in movies. In each of our life, we have certain parts to act! A father has to act like a father, just like a villain in a movie must act like a villain! A father therefore, should not act like a friend. That doesn't mean you can't be a friendly father!

It may confuse a pre-school child when his father start acting like friends with whom he play at school. Many modern parents, after reading too many books about parenting, perhaps try too hard to please their young children even to the extent of role playing as children themselves. Beware - you may confuse your children of how to relate to you as a father. One possible involuntary effect of that is, the child may look for a father figure from someone else~!

....What if, the person who your child consider as his father figure happens to be the biggest loser alive!

In my view, it is better to stick to the rule. Choose the traditional way. Once upon a time, a father is a person held highly above everyone else often with a mixed of emotion; feared, respected, admired, role-modeled, loved, and some other adverbs.

Once upon a time, a father is the protector and the source of security for the whole family. Time has changed, and so has fathers. Many today are simply confused themselves of the roles they should play!

So they become their own child molester. They confuse loving with spoiling. They can't tell the difference between giving freedom and abdicating responsibility.

I lost my own father when I was only ten. I remember how I looked up to my eldest brother-in-law as my father figure. It just happened without any kind of pyschological consulatation. Rule of nature has dictated that, everyone needs a father, and in the absence of one, the child in us turn to someone who we can consider as a father fugure.

If you are a father, then, be a father!

Below is an extract I found from a website.

Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.

The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.

Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.

Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation.

Fathers and Small ChildrenWhen babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.

When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.

Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.

The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.

Fathers of Children at Primary School
Learning to meet challenges
As children reach school age, they begin to grapple with learning more adult-like skills, testing them out in new environments, and dealing with the feelings evoked by successes and failures. A sense of industry, or a belief that he or she can accomplish a goal or master a skill, is important to a child's developing sense of self-esteem. Fathers seem to be key teachers in this area. As one expert puts it, 'the quality of the father's involvement during this period is a crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to meet new challenges in a positive manner.'
One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. In one study, children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills. Accomplishing tasks at this age is so important, and fathers' involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger influence on their children's self-esteem at this age than do mothers.

By encouraging children to take on new challenges, fathers help them not only to learn new skills, but also to take responsibility for their own actions. [24] Fathers with a strong commitment to their family provide a model of responsible behaviour for their children. These children have an internal sense of control, which means that they are more likely to believe that their successes and failures are due to their own efforts rather than due to external factors. These children tend to take more responsibility for their actions and rarely blame others for their mistakes.

Fathers usually have a positive influence on their children's sense of industry, competence, and responsibility. However, if a father discourages his children and intrudes on potential learning situations by being too restrictive or imposing his own solutions, he will have a bad influence on his children. Whether this type of paternal behaviour is motivated by a desire to protect his child, by feelings of impatience or frustration, or by his lack of trust in the child, it can hamper children's development of creativity, motivation, and problem-solving skills, making them less responsible and more dependent.

If you wish to read the full article on the website, the original article can be found here.