On Valentine's Day....

Whenever I am at home, I try to watch Dr Phil. I think he is gifted with ability, with a wonderful wife, and with a heart of gold.
He blows away clouds and bring a clear blue sky to people everywhere. Lots we can learn and emulate!

Tonight I watched his Valentine's special. It was one of his special shows. One couple - was presented with their second honeymoon to Fiji! A surprise which brought tears of joy and a fresh injection of romance to their love life. Lesson to self: To surprise someone with happiness!
Another couple had sugar and spices thrown into their bedroom - when the husband's wish came true. He had wished for his wife to stop going to bed with facial mud-mask and sweat pants. As I am typing, I wonder how many other husbands or wives out there secretly wishing for the same thing.
In tonight's show, Dr Phil was accompanied by his wife. Both of them were very generous in giving away goodies to their studio audience. In my view, the best gifts he has given millions of viewers ( and readers of his books ) are tips of how to live and love, and to do so everyday - not only on any specific day! This is a lesson for self.

I asked in my Valentine survey, "For this Valentine I wish for......".
63 readers responded to the survey. Thank you!
Of these, slightly more than half ( 33 ) told us, they don't believe in Valentine - it is not within their culture. This is perhaps not a surprise given the profile of my readers, and Valentine is clearly a Western Culture. In a way I am relieved to see that sort of result, which indicates that Malaysians are able to differentiate between Modernization from Westernization. We can live and love in this modern world of internet without importing and adopting everything Westerns.
Of those who see the siginificance of Valentine's day to their love and romance - 23 our of 39 - simply wish for "A hug, A kiss and Endearing words". Given that most of my readers are married, I am not surprised by this. Some of the single or younger couples would have voted for more symbolic gestures - such as a card, a candle lit dinner etc.

To the uninitiated, I copy pasted the following paragragh from this website

QUOTE:
The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
UNQUOTE

Before we follow the flow of westernization - exchanging greetings and participating in commercial frenzies of Valentine's day - Please first understand its origin, and please pause and reflect!! It is not only a matter of culture...it goes a bit more than that.

To my children, I hope you take this as an education from your father's own past mistakes.
Lessons are:
1. For you to understand the origin of the V day, then decide what is right and wrong.
2. To live and Love, you can do so everyday! and in the most basic of ways, "Endearing words and a show of care" goes a long way.
3. Make someone deserving, very happy - give them your love, kindness and endearing words sincerely and generously.