When someone says, "Life goes on..." what does that mean?
Does it mean, the person has given up all hope of getting what he or she desires to have - then decides to shrug it off, and continue walking?
Could it mean, this person is so in harmony with his or her soul - she or he accepts whatever happens as fated, and continue sleeping? Is it possible that when someone says 'Life goes on...' he or she actually is justifying for his / her failures and misgivings, and continue denying?
And what if, one says 'Life goes on.....' as a way of avoiding the pain and not taking accountability?
Well, I am asking.....because, I am hearing myself saying this phrase one time too often lately.
I am also asking.....because, Malaysia is facing a general election and far too many people are shrugging off their responsibilties to cast vote...with an attitude of whatever happens, life goes on.
"Life goes on...." does not sound too positive afterall! When someone is saying the obvious - it sounds like abdicating responsibility for one's own action, one's life.
Isn't it obvious that 'life will go on.....', whether you are happy or not - that is another story. And believe me, if you hear someone says that phrase, he or she more often than not is actually regretting what life offers.
Ermmm, oh well - life goes on I supposed. So don't bother!
PS: This entry is sponsored by those who are fighting for a Better Life, the HERE and the AFTER!
Life must not go on the way it is, it can be better!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sembang STAROBA'75!
"Bila kita sudah menjadi seorang datuk yang bercucu, kita pasti berubah" Kata kawan lama yang baru tadi aku hubungi.
"Berubah macam mana maksud mu" Tanya aku.
Terasa kembali mesra setelah mendengar suaranya. Walaupun sudah bertahun-tahun tidak bertemu atau berhubung, suara itu aku tetap akan mengenali walau di mana pun berada. Riang, tenang dan teratur.
"Kita lebih terasa kebesaran Allah!" Ringkas jawapnya dan dia diam seketika. Bagaikan menyebut nama Allah itu sendiri memberi kesan yang menakutkan kepadanya. Yang pasti, aku sendiri terdiam - memikirkan.
"Syukur, kamu sudah bercucu. Boleh ceritakan lagi maksudmu mengenai perubahan itu. Mungkinkah juga perubahan itu sebab kita bertambah usia - bukan kerana cucu sebenarnya?"
Inilah jadinya bila dua sahabat yang berpelajaran tinggi berbual, timbul berbagai kemungkinan. Sahabat aku itu berpangkat Ir. - Seorang jurutera professional. Aku pula walaupun hanya ijazah biasa, namun banyak juga terhimpun pengalaman dari perjalanan hidup merentasi benua dan usia.
"Mungkin juga. Namun pada aku, kita memberi perhatian dan tumpuan kepada cucu lebih dari kepada anak kita sewaktu usianya serupa dulu. Kita semakin berilmu - belajar dari kesilapan sendiri dan ingin memanafaatkan cucu kita melalui anak dan menantu" Suara sahabatku tenang memberi penjelasan dari pengalaman beliau sendiri. Salah satu sifatnya yang aku cukup hormati ialah kebolehan berhujah dengan tenang, tidak cepat melatah dan tidak pula membuat pihak lagi satu terasa seperti kebodohan. Tinggi budi bahasanya!
Di antara kawan-kawan sekolahku memang sudah ada belasan juga yang bercucu. Aku sendiri belum bertemu secara berdepan dengan seorang pun cucu mereka. Ingin juga rasanya untuk sama menimang cucu, walaupun sekadar cucu-cucu rakan-rakan seperjuangan. Mungkin keinginan sebenar aku ialah untuk bertemu semula kawan lama di zaman usia emas ini - kerana yang masih dalam ingatan aku mereka ialah remaja penuh kenakalan. Berubahkah mereka, dan apa pula pandangan mereka tentang aku?
Di STAR dulu aku boleh dikatakan sebagai seorang yang senang berkawan, baik dengan kumpulan ulat-buku dan juga dengan kumpulan ulat-bulu. Aku sendiri mungkin lebih cenderung kepada ulat-yang-kedua itu. Ada juga kawan2 aku yang memberi maklum balas yang aku belum berubah. Tersenyum aku memikirkan - kerana mana mungkin tidak berubah! Usia sudah melewati senja. Kata orang, dunia kata pergi - kubur kata mari. Kata aku, sudah peringkat daun-daun yang akan diganti dengan tunas-tunas baru.
"Ramai kah kamu bertemu kawan-kawan kita?" Aku bagaikan cemburu, kerana terasa terasing setelah lapan tahun merantau.
"Ada juga, semalam aku jumpa Prof Kimi" Rupanya dia juga tidak bertemu dengan ramai. Masa, yang paling mencemburui kita. teringat aku surah Al Asr, "Demi masa...".
"Jika mahu ke London nanti, transit lah di Dubai, boleh menjadi tetamu kami. Isteriku juga mengenali isterimu. Mereka juga dari satu sekolah dulu"
Aku bukan sahaja mempelawa ayam, tapi lebih kepada mendesak di dorong keinginan bertemu yang membuak.
"Kami terbang bersama anak dan menantu, dan pastinya bersama cucu. Tidak mungkin berpisah dalam perjalanan. Aku juga ingin sekali ke sana. Bila waktu yang sesuai?"
Jelas sekali bahawa cucunya mendapat prioriti di tampuk tertinggi! Aku tersenyum sendirian mendengar suara seorang datuk yang melalui perubahan didalam perjalanan kehidupan dengan penuh kesyukuran dan keimanan. Perasaan bangga juga ada - kerana aku mengenali dia!
Dan dari persepsi mata dan hatiku, dia seorang yang berjaya.....semoga terus mendapat kedamaian menongkah arus masa yang pastinya semakin laju setelah senja usia semakin menjelma. Di waktu inilah, kita saling memerlukan - untuk sama-sama menungkatkan jasad dengan bekal amalan, mengingati dan memberi erti - hidup ini sebenarnya untuk apa dan untuk siapa?
Salam untukmu, untuk isterimu dan untuk anak-anak dan cucumu!
Jika kau masih ragu-ragu,
aku memang rindu
saat dan ketika dulu-dulu....
di sebuah sekolah,
ada berbagai warna rumah
hitam, kuning, putih,biru, hijau dan merah.
Kita dari desa berbedza,
sama-sama belajar menjadi remaja kota,
tangisan dan berderai tawa - penuh suka,
ada sedikit duka - semuanya menjadikan kita, kita!
STAROBA.
Monday, February 25, 2008
There are also worse things than politics...
My previous entry was about 'nicer things than politics'. One sms from another STAROBA ( Not Malek hehehe ) said, "PakPin, tak kan hang tak dak benda frust. Tak kan semua best jer hidup hang la nie?"
My first reaction was this. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Yes, I laughed out loud. Then my second reaction was, I called him.
He is a long lost friend. The last time I saw him was in 1975 when we left the school gate for the last time, tearfully and with pledges that 'once a starian, always a starian'. He did not make it to overseas study, but he has made it big time in life. I salute you friend....!!!
He discovered my blog when he searched for the word 'STAROBA 1975' .
"Aku nak hang tulis jugak pasal benda2 yang frust. Tak kan semua hang jadi hero jer! Aku bukan Jealous, tapi nanti bini aku baca blog hang ni, tensen la aku!" That was what he told me, and he was only half-joking, which in STAR old boy's speak means he was serious.
So here are 5 things which are worse than politics, and they are happening to me right now. And because my staff and colleagues at work baca blog ini, aku terpaksa la tulis this rotten onion stuff in bahasa malaysia. Bagus juga untuk mengasah balik my BM, mana tahu boleh tulis novel nanti macam Umi Kalthum juga.
I hope my dear friend will feel better and would even let his wife reads my blog. Hehehehe
Adegan tak best #1.
Paling atas dalam senarai rotten onion dalam hidup aku sekarang ialah politik pejabat! Ini lebih teruk dari politik Malaysia. Di atas pentas politik negara kita tahu siapa orang baik dan siapa orang 'jahat'. Kita tahu sebab ada dialogue dan ada pencak silat, pertarungan terbuka. Politik pejabat aku ni jenis subversif, jenis gorila - depan manis belakang hentam!! Ada ka boss aku pernah panggil aku bertanya kenapa aku baru join syarikat ni sudah sibuk pergi interview kerja lain!!! Bila aku tanya kenapa dia cakap macam tu, dia kata ada sorang senior manager di pejabat tu bagitau dia. Punyalah putar belit!!! Yang sebenarnya berlaku ialah si mamat tu pernah bagi tahu aku dia ada pergi temuduga kerja dan minta pendapat aku, patut pergi ka tidak. Alih alih, aku pulak yang kena. Nasib baik boss aku tu orang nya lurus dan bertanya, jadi bolehlah aku terangkan.
Memang rotten onion sungguh mamat dari negara negara shahroukh khan itu.
To my STAR friend tadi tu, sorry lah sebab dalam hal ini aku masih hero, tapi hampir hampir jadi korban bagai mentimun kena tikam belakang ...kekekeke.
Adegan tak best#2
Dulu-dulu aku di panggil abang, or paling tidak pun brother atau ada juga called me bro!
Sejak aku declare usia aku ni dah usia emas - dan sejak ummi ( Abu Dhabi ) memulakannya - sudah semakin ramai pulak yang called aku uncle. Hahahaha
Ada pulak sorang minah blogger tu, dia kata kalau ikutkan sepatutnya anak dia called aku 'atuk' sebab usia bapak minah blogger tu sama dengan usia aku. Oiittt, tak mo arr......saya belum bercucu lagi.....dan anugerah istana pun tak dapat ..untuk di panggil datuk!
Huh - hang gelak naa Ummi ( Abu Dhabi) !!!!
Adegan tak best #3
Aku kan baru jer buat training session di Kish island hari tu. After lunch pada hari pertama tu, aku tenguk ramai sangat yang kuyu mata mereka - maklumlah malam sebelumnya tu mereka tidur lewat sebab excited dan makan tengah hari pulak buffet yang sedap. So sebagai pembaharuan dalam my approach, aku kata let us all lie down for a 15 mins nap. Kat situ jugak aku suruh mereka lie down flat on their back, dan aku pasang musics - the sound of ocean waves.
I woke up to the sound of giggles and laugher around me. Rupanya aku yang lebih2 pulak....siap tidur dengan sounds systems lagik!! Isk isk kira malu la jugak...tapi sebab aku ni jenis hero semula jadi, control malu lah kan....
So aku bagitau mereka, "The best sleep is when you really sleep deep, and the way to know that is by making some nasal noise"
I don't think they were convinced, but alas if I could confused them a little bit kira ok dah la tu....hehehehe.
Adegan tak best #4
Yang ni memang tak best - aku memang rindukan Malaysia. Aku rindukan perang poster! Aku rindukan ceramah dan kempen di pentas-pentas!
Whateva it is, Malaysia memang tetap baguslah! Tapi it can be A BETTERMALAYSIA - hangpa yang ada di sana, kena lah undi untuk perubahan.
Adegan tak best # 5
Tadi lepas dinner, aku pun ajaklah LiL solat Isya.
Dia menolak dengan cukup berhemah - dan aku hanya mampu terkebil-kebil.
"Oh iye ka......." Itu je yang mampu aku katakan.
Hehehehehe.
My first reaction was this. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Yes, I laughed out loud. Then my second reaction was, I called him.
He is a long lost friend. The last time I saw him was in 1975 when we left the school gate for the last time, tearfully and with pledges that 'once a starian, always a starian'. He did not make it to overseas study, but he has made it big time in life. I salute you friend....!!!
He discovered my blog when he searched for the word 'STAROBA 1975' .
"Aku nak hang tulis jugak pasal benda2 yang frust. Tak kan semua hang jadi hero jer! Aku bukan Jealous, tapi nanti bini aku baca blog hang ni, tensen la aku!" That was what he told me, and he was only half-joking, which in STAR old boy's speak means he was serious.
So here are 5 things which are worse than politics, and they are happening to me right now. And because my staff and colleagues at work baca blog ini, aku terpaksa la tulis this rotten onion stuff in bahasa malaysia. Bagus juga untuk mengasah balik my BM, mana tahu boleh tulis novel nanti macam Umi Kalthum juga.
I hope my dear friend will feel better and would even let his wife reads my blog. Hehehehe
Adegan tak best #1.
Paling atas dalam senarai rotten onion dalam hidup aku sekarang ialah politik pejabat! Ini lebih teruk dari politik Malaysia. Di atas pentas politik negara kita tahu siapa orang baik dan siapa orang 'jahat'. Kita tahu sebab ada dialogue dan ada pencak silat, pertarungan terbuka. Politik pejabat aku ni jenis subversif, jenis gorila - depan manis belakang hentam!! Ada ka boss aku pernah panggil aku bertanya kenapa aku baru join syarikat ni sudah sibuk pergi interview kerja lain!!! Bila aku tanya kenapa dia cakap macam tu, dia kata ada sorang senior manager di pejabat tu bagitau dia. Punyalah putar belit!!! Yang sebenarnya berlaku ialah si mamat tu pernah bagi tahu aku dia ada pergi temuduga kerja dan minta pendapat aku, patut pergi ka tidak. Alih alih, aku pulak yang kena. Nasib baik boss aku tu orang nya lurus dan bertanya, jadi bolehlah aku terangkan.
Memang rotten onion sungguh mamat dari negara negara shahroukh khan itu.
To my STAR friend tadi tu, sorry lah sebab dalam hal ini aku masih hero, tapi hampir hampir jadi korban bagai mentimun kena tikam belakang ...kekekeke.
Adegan tak best#2
Dulu-dulu aku di panggil abang, or paling tidak pun brother atau ada juga called me bro!
Sejak aku declare usia aku ni dah usia emas - dan sejak ummi ( Abu Dhabi ) memulakannya - sudah semakin ramai pulak yang called aku uncle. Hahahaha
Ada pulak sorang minah blogger tu, dia kata kalau ikutkan sepatutnya anak dia called aku 'atuk' sebab usia bapak minah blogger tu sama dengan usia aku. Oiittt, tak mo arr......saya belum bercucu lagi.....dan anugerah istana pun tak dapat ..untuk di panggil datuk!
Huh - hang gelak naa Ummi ( Abu Dhabi) !!!!
Adegan tak best #3
Aku kan baru jer buat training session di Kish island hari tu. After lunch pada hari pertama tu, aku tenguk ramai sangat yang kuyu mata mereka - maklumlah malam sebelumnya tu mereka tidur lewat sebab excited dan makan tengah hari pulak buffet yang sedap. So sebagai pembaharuan dalam my approach, aku kata let us all lie down for a 15 mins nap. Kat situ jugak aku suruh mereka lie down flat on their back, dan aku pasang musics - the sound of ocean waves.
I woke up to the sound of giggles and laugher around me. Rupanya aku yang lebih2 pulak....siap tidur dengan sounds systems lagik!! Isk isk kira malu la jugak...tapi sebab aku ni jenis hero semula jadi, control malu lah kan....
So aku bagitau mereka, "The best sleep is when you really sleep deep, and the way to know that is by making some nasal noise"
I don't think they were convinced, but alas if I could confused them a little bit kira ok dah la tu....hehehehe.
Adegan tak best #4
Yang ni memang tak best - aku memang rindukan Malaysia. Aku rindukan perang poster! Aku rindukan ceramah dan kempen di pentas-pentas!
Whateva it is, Malaysia memang tetap baguslah! Tapi it can be A BETTERMALAYSIA - hangpa yang ada di sana, kena lah undi untuk perubahan.
Adegan tak best # 5
Tadi lepas dinner, aku pun ajaklah LiL solat Isya.
Dia menolak dengan cukup berhemah - dan aku hanya mampu terkebil-kebil.
"Oh iye ka......." Itu je yang mampu aku katakan.
Hehehehehe.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
There is only one Kelantan: a re-run!
The entry below was first posted on 7th August last year. For some reasons, lately I think about Kelantan quite a bit. Perhaps it was listening to beloved TG Nik Aziz's voice saying in jest about 'sending PAS some fund for buying biscuits and tea' - as written here. It could also be due to a glimpse I caught of the ADUN for my little kampung, YB Dato' Anuar Musa walking behind Dato Najib to a stage in KB on bulletin Utama. Dato' Anuar is someone I knew from school days. A nice man......
Whatever the cause, I miss my beloved kampung and state of Kelantan.
I read about the campaign launched by Khairy - Kempen "Kelik Ngundi". As a proud Kelantanese, I felt a tinge offended that such campaign was not led by a political leader from Kelantan. It would have been 'more gedebe' if say Dato Anuar himself making such a call in pure Kelate speak, instead of an 'outsider'. We Kelantanese still and will always consider people from other states as 'outsiders'. We may soften our stand and accept the person to masuk gu ( join our group ), if the outsider showed some humility and modesty - and make symbolic gestures to be like us, such as paka kain sarong dengae semuta!( such as adorning sarong and a head-bandage ) Or makae budu cicoh ikae tawa! (Or eat grilled fish with Budu ).
In truth, we don't like to outsiders who try to be 'gedebe' with us.
Being emotional aside, which may even appear a wee bit trivial compared to the subject under discussion, my message to my adik2 dan anak2 di Kuala Lumpur sana is - "Kelik lah - tiket free tuh! Pah tu pakoh la gappo pung!" ("Go back lah - it is free ticket! When the time comes you can vote as you please")
This nostalgic re-run could also be due to the writing here - bertajuk "Kelantan: Demi sebuah cinta".
In any case, there is only one Kelantan and I hope we are able to remain proud of who we are.
Lemah lembut berbudi sopan
Senyumannya manis mek Kelantan
Usah di sebut janji kemewahan
Hidanganku manis nikmat Tuhan.
---there is only one Kelantan - below is the original posting --
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
Tanam jagung di atas batas
Selasih ku cari...padi ku galas
Balik kampung hatiku puas
Kasih kau beri...budi tak terbalas
Tanam jagung di atas batas
Selasih ku cari...padi ku galas
Balik kampung hatiku puas
Kasih kau beri...budi tak terbalas
"Abe....abe cari gappo? Keropok ko? Sambal daging ko?"The voice soft...and melodic. The smile enticing. Her charm nearly made me purchased what I did not really need. And her smile broke into a little laughter when I replied...."Abe dok cari keropok....abe cari kakok ilae nie...".I was in Pasar Khadijah in Kota Baru Kelantan. There is only one such scene, one such charm, and one such enterprising group of women in this wide world. Found LiL later on amongst the stalls selling clothes....below! 
That was during a brief stop over from the Pengakalan Cepa airport to our kampung.
A real joy awaited us when we arrived to the welcome of my sisters, and nieces and nephews. Aunties and uncles came the next day......for the Kenduri Tahlil. I felt the warmth of kampung style love and caring.....a tradition of old which thankfully, has not faded. Their conversation was genuine, their interest deep, and their care was not for your wealth but for your health. I drifted into my comfort zones......with my kain pelikat, walked along the batas of the padi fields......went deep into the rubber plantation....enjoying the fresh air and captivated with rustic village beauty.
A bunch of banana.....
Above is Duku...and below is rambutan....
From preparing the goat's meat above to the gulai kawah below.....
Only in Kelantan do I feel this way...."Adequate with little, Blissful with nothingness, and love so real!"posted by idham @ Tuesday, August 07, 2007
21 Comments:
At Tuesday, August 07, 2007 6:41:00 PM , SHERRY said...
amazing scenary lovelllyyyyyyyy photography :)
At Tuesday, August 07, 2007 8:24:00 PM , loveujordan said...
seronoknya kembali ke kampong yang dirindui...such a bless !!
At Tuesday, August 07, 2007 9:22:00 PM , Cat Cat said...
What a great country we have... Great pictures En. Idham.Rambutan tu mintak cikit, boleh? ;D
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:03:00 AM , ondeonde said...
our kenduri nikah kawen was done in such a way - gulai kawah! all prepared by gotong royong - tebang pokok kelapa to get the umbut muda, my mom prepared solok lada, kerisek jantung pisang, labu sira...the daging is fresh..aiyooo abe id, ni braso nok balik niiii!
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:09:00 AM , IBU said...
salam...wahhhh....best nyer!!!! the greens, the fruits, the shopping and the company most of all. i'm on extended medical leave ( dah masuk 2nd week) - not sure if I can make it to the 3 serangkai dinner. Frens dok pujuk2. Maybe I should, they have to drive me there. I'll call you re the drinks ok? insyaAllah. Ibu
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:35:00 AM , noha chomel said...
best eh?? ;P, tinggal sini terus la..
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 6:49:00 AM , dlt said...
uwaaa.... rendunyo kelate.... lamo doh tok lik. last bule 4 hari tu. 4 bule doh. napok gayonyo rayo ni baru lik lagi kelate. abe id, kiring sale ko mama n ayoh sayo, deh. huhu! homesick ni lagu ni.
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 8:03:00 AM , Mama Rock said...
there's no place like home kan...welcome back!
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 4:15:00 PM , ruby ahmad said...
Hi Arif,Thought I'd come and visit you here to wish you good luck for the upcoming 11th Aug do at the orphanage. I wish to apologise tak dapat join you and gang that day.Btw, I love your sister's house setting. So tranquil and serene. Wow tu dia pokok duku ya. Malu nak mengaku I tak pernah tengok pokok duku for real. Anyway glad you had a good time balik kampung.Ok, again I wish you and gang a good time this Sat. My thanks to Lil and you for susah payah bawa pesan I. So kind and sweet the both of you. Cheers.
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 4:19:00 PM , anggerik merah said...
Wow...you make me feel to go back to my kampung now..
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:38:00 PM , idham said...
Sherry....you and your hubby are of course invited to visit....and i will be your personal host and guide..missing friends in dubai and Jeddah dearly...:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:38:00 PM , idham said...
loveujordan..rina...:) dengar2 rina juga akan pulang tak lama lagi kan....hope all is well with u...:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:39:00 PM , idham said...
cat cat....:) yess yess.....tanah tumpah kita tak akan ada yang serupa...rambutan and durian sekebun menunggu cath cath when u r back...:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:42:00 PM , idham said...
onde onde.....kan kan kan....best kan ...cara gotong royong macam tu...and guess what, time macam tu lah pakcik2 dan makcik2 risik merisk pasal anak2 teruna dan dara....and lepas tu buat pulak match making....hehehehewow...your wedding so grand tu....kerisik jantung pisae tu best tu...:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:44:00 PM , idham said...
ibu.....pls get well soon...and kalau masih di hospital or belum sihat, pls dont you worry abt the aug 11th event tu...your thoughts count millions already....we want to see you in full recovery....my number if you wish to call is 016-6736723.i would hv called u if i hv yor number.....but i don't.idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:45:00 PM , idham said...
noha....:) dtg ye nanti....aug 11th....bawak suami sekali ye....:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:46:00 PM , idham said...
dlt....lamo tu ppat bulae doh tu....keno balik tu rayo nih...hehehe....abe id pun balik tigo malae jah...:)idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:48:00 PM , idham said...
mamarock...tq! :)i really wish i can meet u...dah dua kali tau i went to KLCC....but i dont hv ur number la....pls give me a buzz....my son is also working in the petronas tower...:)pls join us on aug 11th if u can... idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:54:00 PM , idham said...
hai Ruby...*smiling*thank you for making time to meet up with me the other day.....it is always a joy to sembang2 dengan u...the 2 over hours spent over cammomile tea accompanied by carrot cake and filled with lots of sharing ....the time ticked past so fast!!love ur new hair do, serious....!and best wishes with what you are organizing...i am sure it will be another one of your sterling performance.:)enjoyed it!idham
At Wednesday, August 08, 2007 5:55:00 PM , idham said...
anggerik....we must meet soon....:)jangan la bz sokmo...hehehewe r so dekat jer tau...idham
At Monday, August 20, 2007 10:14:00 PM , drNO said...
bila tgk ur name kan ada tulis 'bakpo', my hubby dah kata u ni mesti org kg dia...rupa2nya mmg la betul...anyway, we're going back to klate this thursday....jom ah
Monday, February 18, 2008
A little note to self.....
From the hotel entrance. The island is part of Iran. Note the flags.
Seminar participants.Recognition - is nourishment for motivation, so please give recognition to deserving people as often as he or she deserves. A standing ovation given to me by the forty participants at a Seminar here in Kish island this morning refueled my own self-motivation to continue doing what I enjoy doing ......"Helping others surpass their own potential".
I did not give a lecture on new Leadership concept, nor did I give a fiery speech on politics or revolution. Nothing like that. Instead I took them through a path of self-discovery; of what really matters to them as a person, and as a professional. I facilitated so they discovered their own 'hidden pearls'. I urged them to share those moments in their lives when they followed their instinct and did something wonderful - and helped them re-call how free and liberating they felt. I also reminded them of those moments when the were held back, inhibited mainly by fear and by opinions and dis-approvals from others. I made them write down a list of those lost moments - moments of "If only I have ......then I...............". We took time to pause and reflect whether they still wanted to pursue any of those items on the list. Not surprising, they admitted that there have been blessings in disguise too for what they didn't do. But a proper closure made a difference....we deleted and cleared our bins of regrets.
I did not give a lecture on new Leadership concept, nor did I give a fiery speech on politics or revolution. Nothing like that. Instead I took them through a path of self-discovery; of what really matters to them as a person, and as a professional. I facilitated so they discovered their own 'hidden pearls'. I urged them to share those moments in their lives when they followed their instinct and did something wonderful - and helped them re-call how free and liberating they felt. I also reminded them of those moments when the were held back, inhibited mainly by fear and by opinions and dis-approvals from others. I made them write down a list of those lost moments - moments of "If only I have ......then I...............". We took time to pause and reflect whether they still wanted to pursue any of those items on the list. Not surprising, they admitted that there have been blessings in disguise too for what they didn't do. But a proper closure made a difference....we deleted and cleared our bins of regrets.
Picture of dinner with a few of the participants - above first night, and below second night.
For us Muslims, we are blessed with higher order Faith in "There is a reason for what happened, and surely He knows best". But we owe it to ourselves to also understand what happened using logic and rationale, instead of leaving everything to, "Never mind - there must be a reason". Logic helped us to connect the dots of what happened or didn't happen and their consequences. Hindsights of such dots...are important for our own evolution, learning and growth.
I closed the session by asking them to make a pledge to themselves - what they want to do which will impact the lives of others around them. Those pledges were written and sealed in an envelop which I will send back to them six months from today.....
These are professionals who do 'sales' as a living. I made them realize that 'selling' does not help anyone except the sales-person. But 'helping' someone can result in good sales. My question therefore was what were they going to do to help those people they serve?
I told them a true story of Little Johnny who worked as a packer at the end of a cash-counter in a supermarket. Little Johnny suffered from down-syndrome, but his spirit was high and his care for his customers came from his heart. He wanted to make a difference.....
So one night he got an idea. With the help of his dad, Little Johnny made hundreds of rolled up papers each written with his "quote of the day". Each time he packed a customer's shopping bag, he would place one of his quote of the day rolled-up paper into the bag.
Soon, customers came looking for more of little Johnny's quotes. They shopped more frequently. His counter always attracted the longest queue. Sales of the store increased. Little Johnny has made a difference - because he wanted to!
What would little Johnny do in a situation you are in...?
Have you touched someone's life lately....?
When was the last time a member of your own family applauded you? Or you applauded them?
(written this while waiting for a flight back to the people I miss - and they are waiting for me at home)
I closed the session by asking them to make a pledge to themselves - what they want to do which will impact the lives of others around them. Those pledges were written and sealed in an envelop which I will send back to them six months from today.....
These are professionals who do 'sales' as a living. I made them realize that 'selling' does not help anyone except the sales-person. But 'helping' someone can result in good sales. My question therefore was what were they going to do to help those people they serve?
I told them a true story of Little Johnny who worked as a packer at the end of a cash-counter in a supermarket. Little Johnny suffered from down-syndrome, but his spirit was high and his care for his customers came from his heart. He wanted to make a difference.....
So one night he got an idea. With the help of his dad, Little Johnny made hundreds of rolled up papers each written with his "quote of the day". Each time he packed a customer's shopping bag, he would place one of his quote of the day rolled-up paper into the bag.
Soon, customers came looking for more of little Johnny's quotes. They shopped more frequently. His counter always attracted the longest queue. Sales of the store increased. Little Johnny has made a difference - because he wanted to!
What would little Johnny do in a situation you are in...?
Have you touched someone's life lately....?
When was the last time a member of your own family applauded you? Or you applauded them?
(written this while waiting for a flight back to the people I miss - and they are waiting for me at home)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Be a DoBeDo ...
I came home from work today with a big plan to go for a movie & and to eat out with the family. LiL and the boys voted against it, and counter proposed for a Movie marathon at home and ordering home delivery bruger King for dinner. The idea sounds like a good one too...so I agreed. What a democratic family we have - perhaps more than can be said for the Boleh land!
Amirul got busy immediately setting up the screen and the projector complete with a set of home theatre speakers. Haziq brought down the air mattress! Luqman was getting comfortable with pillows and cushions. LiL made me a hot mug of tea. And we were ready!!
The first movie we watched was - I am
Next, we watched the TV3 Anugerah Juara Lagu. Back-dated, but with a feel of live telecast since we have not read about the results. Having our living room filled with Malaysian songs in its magical splendour was nostalgic! We love the ambience and a sense of being truly home. From start to finish, we were captivated and entertained. Verdict : Super show - and we fully agreed wth the judges decision.
Satu Bulletin Utama - Berbagai wajah menjelang pilihan Raya.
We took a break and ordered our burgers. While the boys were having their strecth, LiL and I decided to watch TV3 Bulletin Utama - Edisi Feb 14th. So, only a few hours after - we were watching the news almost live. With technology, even living abroad we can keep in-touch with what is going on back home. As expected - the headlines were about the General Election. I will write on the topic as my next entry! Watch this space.... ( In the mean while please respond to my Survey!)
Back to the big screen at home - our last movie for the night was 'Die Hard 4'. Wow - what a movie. Well acted, action packed, super visual effect and full of drama! Everyone loves it....we munched through our burger and fries without blinking.
Happiness is a moment created !
What's with all the above report of what we have done at home today. Surely it is a subject only interesting to the six of us....maybe, but that does not stop me from feeling proud of what we did today. hehehe
Well, I do believe in small cells of living. In my simple mind, this is the equation!
A happy individual makes a happy companion.
A happy family makes a happy neighbourhood.
A happy neighbourhood makes a happy society.
A happy society hopefully can multiply into a happy nation
which multiply further into a happy world.
I am trying to do my part - keeping our family as one unit, happy with what we have wherever we are, anytime. We break no laws, steal from no one, and think evil of no body. We want to believe, however naive it actually is, that everyone is born to be good.
Little pearls for today: Do-Be-Do!
Do = do happy things by yourself, or your own family.
Be = feel happy. Even if you have to fake it, keep faking happiness until you really feel happy.
Do = do more happy things with others. This is easier done if you are happy yourself!
A table Tennis game with the boys - in our garage - while waiting for the @home movie time.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
On Valentine's Day....
Whenever I am at home, I try to watch Dr Phil. I think he is gifted with ability, with a wonderful wife, and with a heart of gold.
He blows away clouds and bring a clear blue sky to people everywhere. Lots we can learn and emulate!
Tonight I watched his Valentine's special. It was one of his special shows. One couple - was presented with their second honeymoon to Fiji! A surprise which brought tears of joy and a fresh injection of romance to their love life. Lesson to self: To surprise someone with happiness!
Another couple had sugar and spices thrown into their bedroom - when the husband's wish came true. He had wished for his wife to stop going to bed with facial mud-mask and sweat pants. As I am typing, I wonder how many other husbands or wives out there secretly wishing for the same thing.
In tonight's show, Dr Phil was accompanied by his wife. Both of them were very generous in giving away goodies to their studio audience. In my view, the best gifts he has given millions of viewers ( and readers of his books ) are tips of how to live and love, and to do so everyday - not only on any specific day! This is a lesson for self.
I asked in my Valentine survey, "For this Valentine I wish for......".
63 readers responded to the survey. Thank you!
Of these, slightly more than half ( 33 ) told us, they don't believe in Valentine - it is not within their culture. This is perhaps not a surprise given the profile of my readers, and Valentine is clearly a Western Culture. In a way I am relieved to see that sort of result, which indicates that Malaysians are able to differentiate between Modernization from Westernization. We can live and love in this modern world of internet without importing and adopting everything Westerns.
Of those who see the siginificance of Valentine's day to their love and romance - 23 our of 39 - simply wish for "A hug, A kiss and Endearing words". Given that most of my readers are married, I am not surprised by this. Some of the single or younger couples would have voted for more symbolic gestures - such as a card, a candle lit dinner etc.
To the uninitiated, I copy pasted the following paragragh from this website
QUOTE:
The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
UNQUOTE
Before we follow the flow of westernization - exchanging greetings and participating in commercial frenzies of Valentine's day - Please first understand its origin, and please pause and reflect!! It is not only a matter of culture...it goes a bit more than that.
To my children, I hope you take this as an education from your father's own past mistakes.
Lessons are:
1. For you to understand the origin of the V day, then decide what is right and wrong.
2. To live and Love, you can do so everyday! and in the most basic of ways, "Endearing words and a show of care" goes a long way.
3. Make someone deserving, very happy - give them your love, kindness and endearing words sincerely and generously.
He blows away clouds and bring a clear blue sky to people everywhere. Lots we can learn and emulate!
Tonight I watched his Valentine's special. It was one of his special shows. One couple - was presented with their second honeymoon to Fiji! A surprise which brought tears of joy and a fresh injection of romance to their love life. Lesson to self: To surprise someone with happiness!
Another couple had sugar and spices thrown into their bedroom - when the husband's wish came true. He had wished for his wife to stop going to bed with facial mud-mask and sweat pants. As I am typing, I wonder how many other husbands or wives out there secretly wishing for the same thing.
In tonight's show, Dr Phil was accompanied by his wife. Both of them were very generous in giving away goodies to their studio audience. In my view, the best gifts he has given millions of viewers ( and readers of his books ) are tips of how to live and love, and to do so everyday - not only on any specific day! This is a lesson for self.
I asked in my Valentine survey, "For this Valentine I wish for......".
63 readers responded to the survey. Thank you!
Of these, slightly more than half ( 33 ) told us, they don't believe in Valentine - it is not within their culture. This is perhaps not a surprise given the profile of my readers, and Valentine is clearly a Western Culture. In a way I am relieved to see that sort of result, which indicates that Malaysians are able to differentiate between Modernization from Westernization. We can live and love in this modern world of internet without importing and adopting everything Westerns.
Of those who see the siginificance of Valentine's day to their love and romance - 23 our of 39 - simply wish for "A hug, A kiss and Endearing words". Given that most of my readers are married, I am not surprised by this. Some of the single or younger couples would have voted for more symbolic gestures - such as a card, a candle lit dinner etc.
To the uninitiated, I copy pasted the following paragragh from this website
QUOTE:
The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
UNQUOTE
Before we follow the flow of westernization - exchanging greetings and participating in commercial frenzies of Valentine's day - Please first understand its origin, and please pause and reflect!! It is not only a matter of culture...it goes a bit more than that.
To my children, I hope you take this as an education from your father's own past mistakes.
Lessons are:
1. For you to understand the origin of the V day, then decide what is right and wrong.
2. To live and Love, you can do so everyday! and in the most basic of ways, "Endearing words and a show of care" goes a long way.
3. Make someone deserving, very happy - give them your love, kindness and endearing words sincerely and generously.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Birthday Mak!
Today, LiL wanted me to tell everyone that she has read all of the comments and really appreciate the nice words, kind thoughts and prayers. She was deeply touched by your kindness.
She wanted me to say on her behalf " Thank You!".
I too want to thank you - for you have made someone I love dearly happy.
It is amazing how strangers can reach out and bring cheer and happiness to our lives.
LiL has been a friend to me since 1979. We were two young students doing our degree courses in Portsmouth way back then. She graduated with an Electrical & Elecronics degree and returned to Malaysia to build her career with Telekom Malaysia. She progressed to a senior position before resigning in 2002 in order to follow me on my expatriation. We were married on 13th Nov 1983 and been blessed with six most wonderful children. We have lived in Kuala Lumpur, JB, Singapore, Jeddah, and now Dubai. It is our hope that one day - we will return to Malaysia, a place we always call home.
Thank You again!
Below is the original Entry on LiL's birthday!
It is nice having grown up children. They can help with houseworks, be excellent sparring partners for a game of table tennis, teach me how to down-load songs from internet and even reminding me of significant events!
Amirul for instance sent me an email below.
Not that I have forgotten - oh no!! Hehehehe
See this email from Amirul.
B'day mak
From:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 1:54:55 AM
To:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)
ayah, o ayah..b'day mak tuesday ni.. ayah dah ader plan ker ntuk mak? nak beli present ker?
I took Amirul's reminder to also mean enquiring with a suggestive tone to participate in the planning to celebrate. So I replied....
RE: B'day mak
From:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 2:05:56 AM
To:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)
You ALL buat la birthday kad special punya. Pas tu beli present lah - kumpul duit setiap orang contribute. Along boleh contribute lebih sebab dia dah dapat gaji...
luv, A.
Then I received a reply back.
RE: B'day mak
From:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 2:08:40 AM
To:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)
eh2, kami2 pulak yg kene.. hehe
ayah tak buat aper2 ker?
That was where we left the exchanges of emails.
For LiL and I, we don't really celebrate birthdays, similarly we don't celebrate valentine days, mothers or father's or any other days like that. However we do take the opportunity to say - "I remember this day - because I love you" kind of messages lah!
"Happy birthday dearest!"
Pernah satu masa dulu aku bertanyakan isteri tercinta - apakah sebaik2 hadiah untuk mu dari ku?
Jawapnya ringkas - kasih sayang mu!
Tanya ku lagi - Jika kasih sayang itu dapat ku botolkan sebagai hadiah - apakah yang akan kau buat dengannya?
Jawapnya spontan - akan ku simpan di hati ku!
Lalu aku bertanya - jika aku ingin memberi satu kebendaan sebagai hadiah, apa kah yang paling bermakna bagi mu?
Jawap isteri ku - Semua itu sudah kau sediakan, aku cukup bersyukur dengan semua yang ada.
Sewaktu itu, apa yang kami ada tidak lah semewah mana. Namun, begitulah isteriku - orangnya tidak banyak meminta dan bersyukur dengan yang ada.
Ingin sahaja aku memberi tahu isteriku - dialah sebaik2 hadiah dari Allah untuk ku dan anak2 ku.
Your present unfortunately will not be arriving in time - still in the mail. Slow la pulak process nya kat sini walaupun dah lama di masukkan kedalam peti surat!....hehehe
Hanya "Sepucuk surat cinta dari ku" sebagai menghargai kehadiran mu di dalam hidupku - kerana aku cinta kamu!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Jusoh dah buat pilihan...
Pening. Memang pening Jusoh Anak Tokey getah di Bukit Mas itu memikirkan. Sejak enam bulan dia memikirkan dan belum dapat membuat keputusan. Masaalahnya, dia tidak mempunyai banyak masa lagi. Besuk dia harus memberitahu Wok Lijoh, siapa yang dia pilih. Ini semua gara-gara Sudin Tok-Jogho sudah merisik bunga di taman yang sama.
“Bakpo gak mu susoh bena nok buat pilihae nie Jusoh?” Tanya Wok Lijoh.
“Ambo sayae keduo2. Ambo nok duo2 tu lah Wok” Kata Jusoh sambil muka Wok Lijoh terkebil kebil kehairanan.
“Mu tahu bukae – mu keno pilih satu jah. Oghe gedebe pun dok leh pasae duo Soh...tenguk Mat Jo kaki gocah tu pun soghe jah ....payah nak duo nih!” Wok Lijoh memang penyabar orangnya. Maklum lah orang lama yang sudah kenal sangat hati anak anak muda.
“Tu la tu…Payah ambo nok pilih. Ambo suko duo2 nih. Lamo doh amo dok fikir nih. Bakpo Payahnyo nok duo tu Wok?” Jusoh masih buntu. Bukan dia tamak – Cuma dia tak sanggup terlepas salah satu ke tangan orang lain.
“Bakpo gak mu susoh bena nok buat pilihae nie Jusoh?” Tanya Wok Lijoh.
“Ambo sayae keduo2. Ambo nok duo2 tu lah Wok” Kata Jusoh sambil muka Wok Lijoh terkebil kebil kehairanan.
“Mu tahu bukae – mu keno pilih satu jah. Oghe gedebe pun dok leh pasae duo Soh...tenguk Mat Jo kaki gocah tu pun soghe jah ....payah nak duo nih!” Wok Lijoh memang penyabar orangnya. Maklum lah orang lama yang sudah kenal sangat hati anak anak muda.
“Tu la tu…Payah ambo nok pilih. Ambo suko duo2 nih. Lamo doh amo dok fikir nih. Bakpo Payahnyo nok duo tu Wok?” Jusoh masih buntu. Bukan dia tamak – Cuma dia tak sanggup terlepas salah satu ke tangan orang lain.
"Payah la Soh.....jangae dok tra lah!" Wok Lijoh mengeleng-ngeleng kepala.
Mek Yah ( gambar hiasan )
Mek Yah menyapu sampah yang tidak ada lagi di laman rumahnya. Sejak pagi dia menunggu kelibat Jusoh. Sudah berkali2 Mek Yah menyapu tempat yang sama. Bukan sahaja sampah malah pasir dan debu di kawasan tu pun sudah ketandusan. Mungkin begitu juga lah hati Mek Yah sejak kebelakangan ini – tandus! Dia menyimpan perasaan. Sudah lima tahun dia bercinta dengan Jusoh. Cuma Jusoh belum pasti sama ada bercinta atau tidak dengan Mek Yah. Sudah berulang kali dia memulakan perbualan mengenai zuriat, pasal rumah dan tangga. Namun Jusoh masih membisu seribu bahasa – belum ada tanda2 yang dia akan masuk meminang. Sudah bergantang2 beras Mek Yah tanakkan nasik dagang untuk Jusoh – berbagai2 jenis lauk, dari gulai lemak telur itik, ikan aya, daging kerbau, dan hati ayam. Semua dia sudah masakkan – semuanya kerana Jusoh suka makan nasik dagang. Setiap kali makan juga Jusoh memuji masakan Mek Yah. Jusoh juga sering memuji kecantikan Mek Yah yang ada iras2 wajah Pelakun seangkatan dengan P Ramlee - Zaiton yang bertahi lalat di atas bibir. Ibu Mek Yah sudah naik fed-up juga memerhatikan kerenah dua merpati yang bagaikan tidak sejoli itu.
Mek Yah ( gambar hiasan )
Mek Yah menyapu sampah yang tidak ada lagi di laman rumahnya. Sejak pagi dia menunggu kelibat Jusoh. Sudah berkali2 Mek Yah menyapu tempat yang sama. Bukan sahaja sampah malah pasir dan debu di kawasan tu pun sudah ketandusan. Mungkin begitu juga lah hati Mek Yah sejak kebelakangan ini – tandus! Dia menyimpan perasaan. Sudah lima tahun dia bercinta dengan Jusoh. Cuma Jusoh belum pasti sama ada bercinta atau tidak dengan Mek Yah. Sudah berulang kali dia memulakan perbualan mengenai zuriat, pasal rumah dan tangga. Namun Jusoh masih membisu seribu bahasa – belum ada tanda2 yang dia akan masuk meminang. Sudah bergantang2 beras Mek Yah tanakkan nasik dagang untuk Jusoh – berbagai2 jenis lauk, dari gulai lemak telur itik, ikan aya, daging kerbau, dan hati ayam. Semua dia sudah masakkan – semuanya kerana Jusoh suka makan nasik dagang. Setiap kali makan juga Jusoh memuji masakan Mek Yah. Jusoh juga sering memuji kecantikan Mek Yah yang ada iras2 wajah Pelakun seangkatan dengan P Ramlee - Zaiton yang bertahi lalat di atas bibir. Ibu Mek Yah sudah naik fed-up juga memerhatikan kerenah dua merpati yang bagaikan tidak sejoli itu.
"Ngabihkan Bogheh jah si Jusoh tu Mek Yah!" ibunya pernah merungut. Sering juga ibunya membawa Mek Yah mandi bunga - minta2 Jusoh terbuka hati. Namun setiap kali habis saja makan dan memuji – setiap kali itu lah Jusoh mencari hal untuk menyakiti hati Mek Yah kembali. Ada-ada saja yang tak kena. Hinggakan warna kain batek sarong yang Mek Yah pakai pun tidak di sukainya. Mana tak makan hati budak perempuan sembilan belas tahun yang hanya bersekolah hingga darjah tiga itu. Bagi ibu Mek Yah, Jusoh lah satu2 nya harapan untuk merasai hidup senang.....harta bapak Jusoh tak habis makan anak cucu hingga tujuh keturunan, begitulah pernah dia berbisik dengan Mek Yah. Matahari sudah condong ke Barat, menandakan sudah banyak waktu Zohor. Namun Mek Yah dengan rambut yang menggerbang belum tergerak untuk bersiap-siap menyempurnakan Solat.
Mek Yam ( gambar hiasan )
Mek Yam ( gambar hiasan )
Mek Yam masih di cermin menyisir rambut nya apabila ibunya memanggil supaya turun ke beranda. “Yae!!! Jusoh sapa doh nie – maghi lah ajok dio naik”
Ibu Mek Yam cukup berkenan kepada Jusoh. Cara Jusoh bersopan santun, malu-malu kucing tu cukup memikat hati ibu Mek Yam. Walaupun ada desas desus mengatakan dia sebenarnya terpikat dengan anak Tokey getah tu kerana bakal mempusakai beratus ekar kebun getah, itu tidak penting untuk nya. Pernah dengan sengaja dia meminta Jusoh azankan waktu solat Zuhur di rumahnya, sebagai menilai keupayan Jusoh membimbing Mek Yam ke arah isteri solehah nanti. Dia sering tersenyum puas mengingati bagaimana Jusoh begitu gugup waktu itu.
Mek Yam memerhati wajahnya di cermin buat kali terahir sebelum dia mengena kan kain tudung berwarna hitam – dan dia berpuas hati dengan celak di keningnya, bedak cuticura yang memutihi pipi tembamnya dan bibir mungilnya juga merah dengan warna gincu jenama Ives Sen Loren dari Golok. Sempat dia mengenyit mata kepada wajahnya sendiri di cermin sebelum bergegas ke bawah. Dia tahu dia tidak secantik Mek Yah – sebab itu lah dia terpaksa lebih berusaha di depan cermin. Jusoh juga jarang memuji ke ayuannya - tapi dia tahu Jusoh suka merenung wajahnya bila dia tidak melihat.
Ibu Mek Yam cukup berkenan kepada Jusoh. Cara Jusoh bersopan santun, malu-malu kucing tu cukup memikat hati ibu Mek Yam. Walaupun ada desas desus mengatakan dia sebenarnya terpikat dengan anak Tokey getah tu kerana bakal mempusakai beratus ekar kebun getah, itu tidak penting untuk nya. Pernah dengan sengaja dia meminta Jusoh azankan waktu solat Zuhur di rumahnya, sebagai menilai keupayan Jusoh membimbing Mek Yam ke arah isteri solehah nanti. Dia sering tersenyum puas mengingati bagaimana Jusoh begitu gugup waktu itu.
Mek Yam memerhati wajahnya di cermin buat kali terahir sebelum dia mengena kan kain tudung berwarna hitam – dan dia berpuas hati dengan celak di keningnya, bedak cuticura yang memutihi pipi tembamnya dan bibir mungilnya juga merah dengan warna gincu jenama Ives Sen Loren dari Golok. Sempat dia mengenyit mata kepada wajahnya sendiri di cermin sebelum bergegas ke bawah. Dia tahu dia tidak secantik Mek Yah – sebab itu lah dia terpaksa lebih berusaha di depan cermin. Jusoh juga jarang memuji ke ayuannya - tapi dia tahu Jusoh suka merenung wajahnya bila dia tidak melihat.
“Abe Soh . naik lah. Nasik kerabu tu pun masak doh!” Manja bunyi cara Mek Yam mempelawa.
“Nasik Kera Bu ka Kera bapak tu Yae masak ko abe Soh?” Gurau Jusoh, satu lawak yang tak berapa cerdik. Tapi Mek Yam yang lagi kurang cerdik tidak menangkap lawak blur Jusoh itu, hanya mampu terkebil-kebil.
Wok Lijoh yang masih memerhati Jusoh melayari lamunan nya sendiri, tetiba bertanya kan soalan yang mungkin boleh membantu Jusoh membuat pilihan.
“Soh…mu tahu ko ciri2 calun isteri yang di syorkan oleh ugama kita?”
Jusoh mengangguk kepala, tapi tidak berani mengangkat muka. Huh, ni mesti dia tak tahu ni fikir Wok Lijah sendirian.
“Ugama kita memberi ciri2 bakal isteri yang di galakkan....
1. beriman & solehah
2. memiliki akhlak-akhlak yang terpuji
3. menentukan mas kahwin yang rendah
4. wanita yang subur
5. masih dara
6. berasal dari keturunan yang baik
7. bukan keturunan terdekat" kata Wok Lijoh.
“Lagi..?” Tanya Jusoh yang tiba2 tersenyum kerana dia yakin kali ini dia dapat membuat keputusan.
Wok Lijoh berkumat kamit membilang sifat2 tu dengan jari jemari nya kerana pada kira’an nya ada yang tertinggal, “Ada satu lagi…..” Kata Wok Lijoh.
“Dio mesti panda masak nasik dagang atau nasik kerabu!” Kata Jusoh yang tak sabar2. Dia terkenang2 keenakan nasik dagang special Mek Yah dan baru tadi nasik kerabu masakan Mek Yam.
“Huh….dok…..yang satu lagi tu dia harus mempunyai wajah yang cantik dan sedap di pandang” Kata Wok Lijoh.
Jusoh tersenyum dan memarhati jauh ke arah rumah gadis yang menambat hatinya – senyumannya makin berseri2. “Yessssh!!! Dah ada keputusan Wok!!!!” Kata Jusoh begitu bersemangat sekali.
"Mu pilih nasik kerabu ko nasik dagang Soh?" Kata Wok Lijoh yang tak dapat menahan ketawanya.
(semoga Jusoh2 dan Mek2 di luar sana dapat membuat keputusan yang sebaik mungkin). Allah Hu Aklam....
Friday, February 8, 2008
Ustaz Hasrizal
He was unknown to me before he came. I am now one of his huge scores of fans - and I have only listened to him talking for about 2 hours. This is one popular ustaz, especially amongst the young Malaysians. If you have not yet visited his blog here, then I encourage you to.
Hasrizal was on a tour to Dubai and Doha to share his knowledge on ways to become an Effective Muslim. Modelled after C0vey's 7-Habits but customized to Islam's teachings, he spoke to more than 50 people who gathered last night to listen to lessons from his own past, insights and examples which include video clips which everyone can relate to. Majority if not all of his audience were having their own internalised reflections.
"Are you convinced ( Yakin ) that there will be the Day of Judgement - Of heaven and Hell?" He asked.
"Yes"- a few voices replied.
He described how drivers would slow down after getting head-light signals from on-coming traffic. We all do that, don't we? We slow down because the signals tell us there are police ahead - We are convinced ( Yakin ) of that so we change our behaviors by slowing down.
Then he asked again.
"How many of us have actually changed our behaviours because we were convinced and Yakin of Hari Akhirat?" I for one, paused to reflect!
"Mencari atau Menjadi?"
We can feel inadequate, frustrated, and unhappy - he said, if we continue to Mencari. He gave example of a man continuing to look for a perfect woman to be his wife.
Then he urged us to focus instead to Menjadi ( To be ) ..... the change we want to see.
"Instead of looking (Mencari ) for a perfect woman - Be a perfect ( Menjadi ) husband with the woman you have" he said. Many men I think paused to reflect!
Begin with the end in mind.
The end of all end is .........: Are we satisfied with our preparation for the end?
"How do you solve a jig saw puzzle" He asked, and answered the question himself, "By first looking at the complete picture on the box"
"What is our life's purpose?" is a question I am sure we have been asked a thousand times. And, I am sure we are modifying our answers day by day, bit by bit, getting closer and closer to what the real answer is supposed to be.
Hasrizal was on a tour to Dubai and Doha to share his knowledge on ways to become an Effective Muslim. Modelled after C0vey's 7-Habits but customized to Islam's teachings, he spoke to more than 50 people who gathered last night to listen to lessons from his own past, insights and examples which include video clips which everyone can relate to. Majority if not all of his audience were having their own internalised reflections.
"Are you convinced ( Yakin ) that there will be the Day of Judgement - Of heaven and Hell?" He asked.
"Yes"- a few voices replied.
He described how drivers would slow down after getting head-light signals from on-coming traffic. We all do that, don't we? We slow down because the signals tell us there are police ahead - We are convinced ( Yakin ) of that so we change our behaviors by slowing down.
Then he asked again.
"How many of us have actually changed our behaviours because we were convinced and Yakin of Hari Akhirat?" I for one, paused to reflect!
"Mencari atau Menjadi?"
We can feel inadequate, frustrated, and unhappy - he said, if we continue to Mencari. He gave example of a man continuing to look for a perfect woman to be his wife.
Then he urged us to focus instead to Menjadi ( To be ) ..... the change we want to see.
"Instead of looking (Mencari ) for a perfect woman - Be a perfect ( Menjadi ) husband with the woman you have" he said. Many men I think paused to reflect!
Begin with the end in mind.
The end of all end is .........: Are we satisfied with our preparation for the end?
"How do you solve a jig saw puzzle" He asked, and answered the question himself, "By first looking at the complete picture on the box"
"What is our life's purpose?" is a question I am sure we have been asked a thousand times. And, I am sure we are modifying our answers day by day, bit by bit, getting closer and closer to what the real answer is supposed to be.
The ustaz brought the six Alam to us. And for the first time I knew why babies are conceived in moms' Rahim - It is moms' "Rahim = kasih sayang" which has been chosen by God to be good enough to carry His creations.I would not do justice to what he shared neither can I emulate his passion and conviction. I am only sharing a very small part of what he shared with us last night. If it has made you even a little - wanting to seek more of His knowledge to be a better Muslim, then that is all I am hoping for.
For LiL and I, hosting the event was an honour and a priviledge. Thank you saudara Hasnol for choosing to do the Usrah at our home.
Thank you Ustaz Hasrizal for sharing and giving me many reasons to pause and reflects. May God bless you and your family. And Thank you Umm Saif for lending Abu Saif to us for a couple of days.
Group picture with the part of the participants!
You can also read a report from Fudzail here.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tagged - by Pak Mior
Pak Mior tagged me to write on Muhibbah.
What better time to do so than now – a time when all Malaysians are joining our Chinese friends in celebrating the CNY.
Perhaps most telling of our Muhibbah spirit is on display during Festivities and during Calamities. Unique to our great nation Malaysia, all major religious festivals are respected and celebrated, not only by those of direct concern but by everyone around them regardless of creed and color. These celebrations are done sensitively and inclusively – no one feel left out or slighted. Appropriate foods are served, taking into considerations the diversity of religion and belief. Diversity without being inclusive – is like having a lake of fish, but each species are caged separately.
During recent flood in Malaysia, we see help and aids from Malaysians for Malaysians. Everyone – together – for everyone! What a spirit….
I grew up in a little village in Kelantan where all residents were Malays except for Mek Som ( I never knew what her Chinese name was ) as we called her and her families. Mek Som, a chinese who spoke fluent Kelate-speak and wore batek sarong just like all other mak chiks. I remember Mek Som very well - for she was always generous in sharing fresh vegetables from her farm. And her farm was always the most fertile. Her son San Keng ( and called Hasan Keng ) was two years older than I was - and was brilliant in making 'serunai' out of padi stalks. He was a shy boy, and decided not to go to school. He went farming with his mom and followed his father hunting for wild boars. They cycled to far away places, and each time came back with two or three boars neatly bundled in old gunny sacks and even with ample padding with saw dust to ensure no blood of the dead animals dripped accidentally. Back then we almost forgot that Mek Som or Hasan Keng were Chinese.
Later in life, I was the driver to my best friend Mr Ng and his bride when he got married. That was in 1984 when I was still new to KL but already had a close friend in Mr Ng. That was only an anecdot of Multi-racial friendships we had at work. And there were many more....
Then one day a reporter from NEWSW33K managed to convince me as the HR manager of the firm to do an interview on diversity at work place. I allowed her to do photo-shoot in our cafeteria. What she wrote and how she used the photos brought home the real hard truth to me. Her story highlighted the divide between races - backed by photos of employees in clusters around the dining hall, huddling together according to their races. Holy Mackerel! I was in smoke ....But as much as I didn't like her spin - her pictures did not lie. I looked at the reality in our canteen from that day with a different critical eyes and tried to encourage integration at work.
“Birds of same feathers flock together” And we see this at school and factories’ canteens, at staff dining rooms in private or public sectors, at bus and taxi stands – locally or overseas. I dream to see – the color of our feathers merging more and more to a spectrum of what we can call ‘Malaysian’. And we will be one huge happy bird!
In Malaysia we are unique in that our political parties are ethnic based. We are the fish in one lake but caged separately - and even fed differently. I long to wake up to a day when MIC = Malaysian Integrated Congress; or MCA = Malaysian Coalition Assembly; or UMNO = United Malaysians Organization. I know I am being naïve. I know I am over simplifying. I know there are complications and complexities. I know all of those! That is why I am glad I am not active into politics….but a mere blogger who can day-dream with my eyes wide open and no-one cares whether I am fast asleep. But I still write here – that we are at best only a ‘tolerating’ not yet an integrated society. However when compared to what is going on in some other part of the world – is an achievement and something we can all be proud of! God forbids any proportion of what is happening in Kenya from coming over to our Shores.
A repeat of May 13th - anyone? If you are too young to remember what happened on May 13th in 1969 - please ask your parents or grand-parents or read book about it. It was a lesson we should all learn and should progress beyond just repairing the damages but really re-planting the seeds of Muhibbah and Diversity.
Therefore, I find the recent HINDR@F road-show insensitive and idiotic. It was not moving any steps closer to national integration and harmonization. It was inciting anger and inter-racial tension. I am pleased stern acion was taken fast and decisively.
The future – is what I am excited and optimistic about. Children today are exposed to wider world through the internet. Seldom had they initiated conversations by asking what race or religions of their friends are. They share music; they are networked via the friendster and other webs. They are citizens of the world. Malaysia, whether we change or not in our ‘made belief’ that we are living the spirit of diversity becomes less relevant to the citizens of the world. I dream the Martin Luther King dream! I dream a spectrum of colours - each unique and different in colour and curves - but together they made a beautiful rainbow. And I dream that we don’t even have to write or debate about Muhibbah – in the same manner we don’t count the air we breathe in. It is part of our lives…..everyday, everywhere! We stop thinking color – we think beliefs and values. We become unconsciously integrated, rather than consciously trying to tolerate differences.
I wish all Malaysians – A Happy New Year! As it is usually said, “Kong Hee Fat Choyy”.
The future – is what I am excited and optimistic about. Children today are exposed to wider world through the internet. Seldom had they initiated conversations by asking what race or religions of their friends are. They share music; they are networked via the friendster and other webs. They are citizens of the world. Malaysia, whether we change or not in our ‘made belief’ that we are living the spirit of diversity becomes less relevant to the citizens of the world. I dream the Martin Luther King dream! I dream a spectrum of colours - each unique and different in colour and curves - but together they made a beautiful rainbow. And I dream that we don’t even have to write or debate about Muhibbah – in the same manner we don’t count the air we breathe in. It is part of our lives…..everyday, everywhere! We stop thinking color – we think beliefs and values. We become unconsciously integrated, rather than consciously trying to tolerate differences.
I wish all Malaysians – A Happy New Year! As it is usually said, “Kong Hee Fat Choyy”.
I am a Malaysian who is still hopeful of a better future!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Coping with the middle-aged...
Ok, so I have been told that I don't look my age. Of course, I feel good every time someone said that! And I assumed they meant, I look younger! hahaha....but what if, what if they actually meant I look older than fifty....that will be the day I will stop blogging. Khalasssss!!! I have actually seen people looking aged beyond their years. Of course, we don't go saying, "Ermmm - you really look older than your age..." Not if we still can count to ten!The most tricky is when someone asked us to guess what their ages are? Especially if the person who ask is a woman and she looks past her prime. I have a confession - if I am in a situation like that I always substract ten years from my true guess. No, play it safe guys....don't go with FIVE ...but go with TEN!!! So if the lady is about 45 in your best estimate after glancing at the loose skin around her neck, guess 35! She will be delighted and you will have her full attention for the rest of the afternoon, and if you are lucky may even be extended to a late night supper. And if in the course of the conversation she reveals that she has a twenty-something-daughter - don't go with a lame "Oh I see"...Noooooooooooooo!!! never...!!! Instead go with a "No way...tell me you are kidding.....!!! Your eldest can't be more than fifteen ....unless you were married really young!" and gaze into her eyes with a dreamy-i-am-flirting-with you look while saying that. I bet you she will love it ...and will play into extra time on making you tell her more and more that she looks thirty-five. Middle-aged women loved to be wooed, flirted, desired. You see, most forty-something women know through their female instinct that their husbands harbour secret desires to swap them with two-twenty-something-girls. So to be at the receiving end of attention is a welcome change. But beware if you cross the limit from flirting to advancing - they will hiss and piss you like a wild cobra! Never read desire for flirtation as a come-maul-me signal. They are not as straight forward and easy as your typical twenty-something-take-away girls found at most night clubs. They are sophisticated ( read as complicated and confused ). While you are at it, go for a full course: mention how elegantly she dresses......pay particular attention to her shoes and handbags. And always, compliments her eyes and the way she smiles....! Just when she thought you are through with your compliments - just whispers quietly, almost to yourself, "Your husband is a very lucky man.....".
One thing you must always remember is ....never tell her " Wow you look so very sihat!" or else you risk making her lose her appetite. Nooo.....not just for the food, but also in talking with you. 'Sihat' is not for you to tell a woman....it is for her doctors!
There are two things middle aged men don't like for anyone to tell them - 1. One is something getting 'lesser' - their hair, and 2. and another is something getting "bigger" - their waist. There is an unwritten rule of social grace for people to say something like, "My oh my - the longer I have not met you the younger you look! You are looking great my friend" when you meet a middle-aged man whom you have not seen a long time. Never mind that he looked jagged and scruffy and old. He will soon forget how tired or how old he really is ....he will be brimming with happiness and cheer. Try it.....! You will get an instant result. Unless of course the man has been subjected to so much abuse that he needs a little more than one praise to put him up-right again.
Talking about abuse, please allow me to digress ....with a para on it.
Abuse - we parents are the best cuplrits. We do without intending. We add an adjectives or two in jest, such as "Adik tembam", "Abang malas". The next time you are angry with your children - pause and count to twenty. If the words dancing on your lips have any of the negative adjectives then you may be guilty of abuse. What they hear from their parents, their mind will remember and the brain will keep repeating to them until they starts believing it is true. Your son or daughter will prove you right, and will make sure he or she will be 'tembam' and 'malas'.
"Orang tua ni pekak ka.....dah berkali2 kita cakap bukan nya dia nak dengar!" I once overheard a young woman mumbling to an elderly man she was pushing on a wheel-chair at a hospital, and of all places in Kuala Lumpur. I felt like giving the woman a tight slap on her face! But of course I didn't. Instead I said, "Ayah ka?". I found out that she was a daughter-in-law!
If she spoke softer - with love and compassion - I am sure the man could have heard her. I even think he pretended he did not hear a word because it was easier that way.
The words, 'Orang Tua" itself is not liked by middle-aged men. It is considered rude....
I personally hate it when refered to as 'Tua'.
Now even a few of my blog readers are unsure what to address me as...."Abang' or "Pakcik / Uncle". These kind of dilemma is unique to Malaysians. In Europe you don't find people addressing strangers by 'uncle' or 'brother'. If there is a need to show respect, than they address the person as a Mister so-and-so. But I am Malaysian and my readers are mainly Malaysians too. So we should be forgiven for reverting to our cultural norms.
Ok, this is my rule of thumbs.
1. If you are the same age as his ( eldest ) child, then you can call the middle-aged men as Pak Cik or Uncle.
2. If your children are the same age as his (youngest) child, then you may call him Mr. So-n-so or Abang So-n-so. But never just abang.......unless you are his sweetheart or share the same parents.
3. Regardless of your age, it is safe and appropriate to call him by his name.....and a salutation of Mister So-n-so is always acceptable.
There is a quote, "Age considers; youth ventures". With age, men tend to think a lot more about things said and things that happened. As a result too, they tend to be more sensitive.
Unfortunately - the belief that with age comes wisdom is only a myth. Nothing is guranteed to come with age except wrinkles. hehehehe. Even the belief that age is like wine - the older the better is also conditional to having grapes of good grade in the first place.
Perhaps because I am an optimist and live my life with enthusiasm, I particularly like this quote, "None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm".
I try not to keep company with pessismist, stay away from the skeptics, and shy away from the perfectionists and realists. I find perfectionists as cause for stress.....afterall who are we kidding trying to achieve perfection in this real world of dents and damages, of wear and tear!
Before I am labelled of displaying an old-man's syndrome of not knowing when to stop blabbering, let me end with this quote from George Bernard Shaw, "We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing!".
If you don't want to play with me.....please get out of the way, so that I can play with those who are willing. Thank you......
Friday, February 1, 2008
PS# I love you!
How does a young widow move on with her life? ( The answer : With lots of tears and difficulty. With support from family and friends. With memories of love she has shared with her dead husband )What is the hardest thing for her? ( Answer : Separating the future from the past. Letting go of the past, in order to create a new future )
How does she feel having another man in her home - alone? ( Answer : She feels weird, strange and just as unfaithful to their love as if he is still alive )
When does she make that transition - to a new love? ( Answer : Never! She does not make that transition.....Her love for him stays with her forever even after a new love appears, if it does )
What options are there for her? ( Answer : To pursue her dreams, their shared dreams. To find solace in making her other loved ones happy - Children, Parents, siblings, whoever she cares and loves ).
Lil, our boys and I watched "PS# I love you" the movie tonight.
One website summarized the movie as
"A grieving young widow discovers that her late husband has left her a list of tasks revealed in 10 messages, delivered anonymously, intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life"
"A grieving young widow discovers that her late husband has left her a list of tasks revealed in 10 messages, delivered anonymously, intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life"
.
I will describe the movie as refreshing, romantic, touching, and insightful into emotional conflicts experienced by different people faced with their own wants and needs.
I will describe the movie as refreshing, romantic, touching, and insightful into emotional conflicts experienced by different people faced with their own wants and needs.
"I want to be someone's Jerry....." was Dan's ( The bar-man ) wishes. Her mom was living with anger - what caused that? Denise had a reason to be upset when her best friends were not available for her wedding. It was also sweet to see a man ( Dan ) and a woman ( Holly ) can love each other - in a non sexual way.
PS# I love you.....for me is a movie worth watching! Be prepared with some hankies - you may need to wipe off your tears away just before the light comes on. Hehehehe. sniff sniff....
Just before bedtime, I asked Luqman what he thought of the movie, and he said...."Too much kissing......." And yes, during the movie he had gone "Yeeewwwww" and hid behind his palms every time there was a kissing scene! But he enjoyed the funny bits.....and there were a few of those too.
.
.
Along has already read the novel, and he thought the novel was nicer than the movie. Perhaps he had better imagination....hehehehe. Now....that made me want to get a copy of the book too. I could not helped thinking ( wishing actually ) to see Cameroon Diaz play the role of Holly instead of the stunning, gorgeous and very well acted Hilary swank. I just thought Cameroon Diaz is better suited for a romantic comedy role. But again, I am bias.....hehehehe.
For LiL, psst......psst.....ps: i love you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)