Life of a bapak!

'bapak' yang harus kita bersimpati

My idea of a macho 'bapak'

I stole the title from this blog.

This topic can be expanded into a novel - of maybe 500 pages. Afterall, I have been a bapak for the last 23 years - and to six anak! However, my story as a bapak will not be half as interesting and LiL's story as an ibu. So to any would be publishers, you are well advised to go along with her story ....

But I do have a story to tell. My target audience is not any would be bapak - hence this is not for educational purposes! It is also not for existing bapaks - you already have a story of your own to deal with. This story is for ibu-ibu....hehehehe.....especially ibu-ibu who are currently unhappy with their own bapak-bapak.

"As a bapak we sleep late, wake up late, have our foods served on silver plates. We don't do dishes nor wash our own clothes. We could never find sugar jars nor the tin openers from ibu's kitchen whenever 'ibu' is not around. It puzzles us why 'ibu' don't just leave everything everywhere - which makes it easier to find. Afterall, we always find our remote controls and that is because we simply leave them everywhere.

One more thing you need to know, we bapak are deaf to any babies crying at night. We simply can't hear their wailing. Changing diapers is a no no. That is so ibu-ibu and not sightly for us bapak to be seen doing so. We will be a laughing stock amongst our friends. You wouldn't want us to be laughed at, do you?

If we go shopping together, we can't be seen carrying your shopping bags. Please ask one of our childen to do so if you need help. Cammon la, as a bapak we are too busy to show our children to do their homework la.....and any little time we have is to catch up with our mates over teh tarik at a mamak stall.

And who says that as bapak we need to have decent conversation with our children. Isn't it enough that we provide them with their pocket money and we ocassionally make grunting sound and nod our head when they talk to us.

As ibu, please don't be annoyed of we kick off our shoes anywhere and leave them there for you to pick them and store carefully in the shoe rack. It is an accepted bapak's habit.....for centuries.

If we turn over and snore after our 'little bedtime game' - it is because as a bapak we must rest for tomorrow's work. Anyway, what is ibu doing staying awake for? We bapak find that hard to understand.

Life as a bapak is 'hunting' to bring foods home. Sometimes as a bapak we come home injured - emotional drained, physically exhausted, and mentally jaded. We then expect 'ibu' to swallow all of her own frustrations and tend to us without questions. Other times, we come home expecting a lot - hot tea in a cup on a saucer, 'ibu' in her best home dress with glossy lipstick freshly applied, children quietly doing their homework in their own rooms, soft musics playing, and 'ibu' looking at us adoringly while we unwind from another hard days work. A bapak - afterall is the King of his castle."

If I remind you of someone in your own house - take solace in the similarity. If I sounds far fetched from the hero character you have read in so many novels - stop believing the novels. Life is far too real for you to live in a fantasy land. :-)

Ok, I do the odd dishes. And I do take out the garbage bins. Ah yes, I am the one who goes round the house at night making sure all doors and windows are locked. And more often than not, I am the one who volunteer first to give LiL her shoulder massage....which often leads her to return the favour. But I am no angel, and wish to remain as the King of my house. Hehehe

This entry is partly inspired by a Korean series I watched on cable TV today - Two 'bapaks' were put side by side to share what type of a 'bapak' they are. One is a successful sugeon - and he sounded in control of his destiny. Another is a singer - he potrayed himself as an ideal husband who does dishes and all sort of chores. The surgeon looked like a happier man, looking youthful despite them being of the same age group (Mid fourties). The singer sounded very bitter. One of the things the surgeon said is worthy of repetition "A bapak who focus too much in pleasing his wife often compromises his ability to be at his best in his work and not so good socially as well".
To which the singer replied spontaneously,
"No wonder I have not a hit song for years - I have spent too much time doing the dishes".

My point from this rambling is .......to all 'ibu-ibu' and including my 'beloved ibu - LiL ( hehehe....I am smiling sheepishly) treat your man like a king in his palace - and he will be happier, stay youthful for longer, and become more successful in his career too. And it is more likely that your King will treat you like a special queen after the bedroom light is switched off......when it matters on the mattresses!

But if you let your 'bapak' slaves it out at home - he will be one grudgingly, believe me! Just look at the top picture.....do you think he is a happy man? We would not want to be seen in his company.....not in a million years. hahahaha

Now - I am ready to be shot!!! hehehehe