"Men like that....."

What does a veteran player do on the morning of the tournament day?
I had a hearty breakfast of cereals, and LiL's homemade burger. I had a good rub-down ... working on my muscle and limbs. Then asked the boys to go swimming, but instead they prefer to finish their homework.
So, I logged on my YM.....and online were umie and this young lady. Buzzed both, but umie was not at her desk....
The young lady replied, and I asked about her plans of the coming weekends. So I knew she will be driving back with her lil sister to spend time and having a BBQ with her dad. Great stuff!
She shared the news that she had her tongue pierced with diamond stud ... super cool!! I cringed with pain. The thought of having a tongue pierced scares me......for that matter, the thought of having any part of me pierced scares me. I told her so.....
But then, she said, "Abg id, when you have your heart pierced time and time again by irresponsible men ...then the pain of piercing a tongue is nothing.....".
I paused at that.
I probed further to get more details, but she refused politely. "Private tu abg id. But I hope you can write about - how to deal with men like that"
I paused further.
Ermm...reflected. I know many such men, but needed to know if she thought that I was one of them. She said, NO. I told her I am not an expert on the subject of "men like that" but agreed to give it a go at writing. At this point, my son Adie came online and i introduced the two of them to continue chatting while I went into writing this entry.
..
..
"Men like that" are normally married, past mid thirties into early forties, normally successful in their profession, well read which makes them appearing wise and smart, and generally happy with their marriages but are looking for some excitement outside. They wear only labelled clothes ( Striped Ralph Laurent shirts are popular amongst this group ), and usually generous with their credit cards. "Men like that" meets after work or during lunch and seldom available during weekends. They will never give their house number!

"Men like that" know their target. They want someone who they think they can conquer with minimum investment, and least complication. They will make up stories - about how their wives are not 'layan-ing' them and they are therefore 'lonely'. Girls - be careful of these type for the only 'lonely' person after they get what they want will be you.

What do they want? The answer can come in so many terms, said in so many ways like
"You are so beautiful, I wish i had met you before I met my wife"<----Normally said with his eyes gazing yours, and his hands reaching out for yours. "You reminded me of my childhood girl-friend, I wish I can find her again. But now I found you...maybe it is fated that we meet". <----Said with a smile, his hands searching for an opening in your skirt. But, no matter how it is said, they want only one thing - 'a good time'. "Men like that" are normally serial daters - they move from one target to another -either taking rejections gracefully or breaking hearts coldly along the way. They normally spend the first couple of dates to assess their chances and how big are the risk of complication. And if they smell 'nasik minyak' in the conversation ... they will find excuses to cool down the expectation.
"Men like that" are allergic to commitments.

Favourite targets for "men like that" are ladies in their early thirties or late twenties who have gone through heartbreaks before. They go after these girls, especially ones with open minds like lalat langau bees go after a pot of honey. Some of these "Men like that" will even promise matrimony - if the 'victims' are so hot in their lusty eyes. "Janji dapat!"

So, with those revelations about 'men like that' i hope 'gals who are NOT like that' can be more careful in looking after their tender and fragile hearts.
Here is a veteran player signing off, ready for the game this afternoon.

Diari pemain bola veteran..

Jumaat 9 pagi : Excited sebab petang nanti ada sessi bola. Exercise - skipping, treadmill, dan sit-up dan pumping.

- 3 petang : Sudah tiba di padang, walaupun sessi bola akan bermula jam 4 ptg. Warm-up bersama anak-anak. Setelah separuh padang, tercungap-cungap, anak-anak bertanya, "Kenapa ayah?". Ermm.....apa punya soalan tu...."Sajer jer...ayah suka warm up cara pernafasan ikan terkeluar dari air".

- 4ptg: Sessi bola bermula. Dengan penuh semangat berlarian mengejar bola, berlarian menggelecek pemain lawan, dan menendang bola ke arah gol. Tiba-tiba..."Adoiiii!!!!" Muscle pull! Sudah terhenjut-henjut, namun masih ingin meneruskan.

- 5 ptg : Sessi bola berahir. Driving Pulang, rasa stiff nya satu badan!

- 8 mlm : Terlentang di sofa - sakit satu badan. Minta isteri urutkan. Sapu minyak panas hampir setengah botol.

Sabtu 5.30 pagi: Bangun untuk solat Fajr. Bila time Rukuk, cuma boleh 45 degrees sahaja.....pinggang stiff.....peha sakit....lutut jammm!

Sabtu 7 pagi : Ingin turun tangga untuk sarapan di tingkat bawah. Adoiii...tak boleh jalan macam biasa.....lalu turun dengan cara mengereng!

Sabtu malam : Terlentang......Minta isteri urutkan......minta anak tumbuk-tumbuk badan. Sapu minyak panas.....hampir setengah botol lagi.

Ahad : Masih berjalan terhenjut-henjut. Isteri bertanya penuh simpati, "Abang ni betul ka boleh main ni....kalau dah tak boleh tu, tak yah la main kut....""Alaaaa....boleh.....yang sakit peha dan kaki.....lain abang tak sakit pun.....hehehe ...."

"amboiii......kita cakap main bola lah abang ooiiiiii!"

"hehehehe.....tau....!"

Isnin : Pergi swimming untuk relax kan muscle yg masih ada jammm.....malam, minta isteri urut lagi. Isteri tanya, "Kat sini tak de ka rumah urut? kalau ada abang gi jer la urut kat sana...."Aku hanya tersenyum. Teringat cerita kawan2 yang pernah ke rumah-rumah urut di Kuala Lumpur.....ermm.

Dalam hati....."Rumah urut?? ermmm.....ni sah dia tak tahu kisah rumah urut ni...??"

Selasa : Dah boleh Rukuk 90 darjah bila solat! Masih ada rasa kejang di peha, tapi beransur pulih. Malam dah boleh kuis-kuis kaki.....hehehe :P

Rabu : Yippiee.....rasa macam dah pulih. Cuma stiff shoulder, but that has got nothing to do with football. Doctor kata, lenguh2 bahu tu synonym dengan usia separuh abad. He said, not to worry....at least you can still feel the pain. Besuk dah jadi numb terus ..lagi paghah!

Excited tunggu hari Jumaat! Hari ni dah boleh turun dan naik tangga dengan pantas dan cergas. cewahhhhhhh!!!

-you-tube shot of me dengan penuh semangat di padang, balik rumah terlentang!-

ps : luqman's blog is here. ( and i noticed he has been replying to your comments! )

along's blog is here. ( this young man is still looking for love.....ermmm, apa nak jadi! )

dan

sejenak bersama rintihan kerinduan dari buruh di padang pasir di sini.

Diari pemain bola veteran..

Jumaat 9 pagi : Excited sebab petang nanti ada sessi bola. Exercise - skipping, treadmill, dan sit-up dan pumping.
- 3 petang : Sudah tiba di padang, walaupun sessi bola akan bermula jam 4 ptg. Warm-up bersama anak-anak. Setelah separuh padang, tercungap-cungap, anak-anak bertanya, "Kenapa ayah?". Ermm.....apa punya soalan tu...."Sajer jer...ayah suka warm up cara pernafasan ikan terkeluar dari air".
- 4ptg: Sessi bola bermula. Dengan penuh semangat berlarian mengejar bola, berlarian menggelecek pemain lawan, dan menendang bola ke arah gol. Tiba-tiba..."Adoiiii!!!!" Muscle pull! Sudah terhenjut-henjut, namun masih ingin meneruskan.
- 5 ptg : Sessi bola berahir. Driving Pulang, rasa stiff nya satu badan!
- 8 mlm : Terlentang di sofa - sakit satu badan. Minta isteri urutkan. Sapu minyak panas hampir setengah botol.

Sabtu 5.30 pagi: Bangun untuk solat Fajr. Bila time Rukuk, cuma boleh 45 degrees sahaja.....pinggang stiff.....peha sakit....lutut jammm!
Sabtu 7 pagi : Ingin turun tangga untuk sarapan di tingkat bawah. Adoiii...tak boleh jalan macam biasa.....lalu turun dengan cara mengereng!
Sabtu malam : Terlentang......Minta isteri urutkan......minta anak tumbuk-tumbuk badan. Sapu minyak panas.....hampir setengah botol lagi.

Ahad : Masih berjalan terhenjut-henjut. Isteri bertanya penuh simpati, "Abang ni betul ka boleh main ni....kalau dah tak boleh tu, tak yah la main kut...."
"Alaaaa....boleh.....yang sakit peha dan kaki.....lain abang tak sakit pun.....hehehe ...."
"amboiii......kita cakap main bola lah abang ooiiiiii!"
"hehehehe.....tau....!"

Isnin : Pergi swimming untuk relax kan muscle yg masih ada jammm.....malam, minta isteri urut lagi. Isteri tanya, "Kat sini tak de ka rumah urut? kalau ada abang gi jer la urut kat sana...."
Aku hanya tersenyum. Teringat cerita kawan2 yang pernah ke rumah-rumah urut di Kuala Lumpur.....ermm.
Dalam hati....."Rumah urut?? ermmm.....ni sah dia tak tahu kisah rumah urut ni...??"

Selasa : Dah boleh Rukuk 90 darjah bila solat! Masih ada rasa kejang di peha, tapi beransur pulih. Malam dah boleh kuis-kuis kaki.....hehehe :P

Rabu : Yippiee.....rasa macam dah pulih. Cuma stiff shoulder, but that has got nothing to do with football. Doctor kata, lenguh2 bahu tu synonym dengan usia separuh abad. He said, not to worry....at least you can still feel the pain. Besuk dah jadi numb terus ..lagi paghah!
Excited tunggu hari Jumaat! Hari ni dah boleh turun dan naik tangga dengan pantas dan cergas. cewahhhhhhh!!!
-you-tube shot of me dengan penuh semangat di padang, balik rumah terlentang!-

ps : luqman's blog is here. ( and i noticed he has been replying to your comments! )
along's blog is here. ( this young man is still looking for love.....ermmm, apa nak jadi! )
dan
sejenak bersama rintihan kerinduan dari buruh di padang pasir di sini.

No where to hide!

I am feeling exposed. In fact this feeling of vulnerability has been in my shadow ever since I started blogging in March 2006.

I have had a few suprises already from the cyber space. I first started blogging anonymously - no real names and no real photos. The stories were wild and imagined. Then one morning, I woke up to find LiL glued to the desktop instead on frying eggs for my breakfast. "I am reading this blog - wow, this one is so hot!" She said, urging me to come and share what she was reading. One glance I knew she was reading my blog ......and by then, I have written a few stories already. I did not close the window of my page the night before....and that was how she first found the 'travelers tales' blog as it was named then. I had a choice, and I chose to admit to her that it was my blog! From that morning onwards, I was no longer an anonymous writer and she has signed up as my number one fan.

Since then I have made the site private, but would grant permission to interested readers. Just ask....I have shifted from 'hot' stories to be more real by the day, although I kept the assumed cyber name of 'idham'. I started to write true stories about our families and shared family pictures too. A bold move.....

My second surprise was when one day I found this comment in my blog, "Found your blog, nice one!" signed by my boss from my previous employer in Dubai. I was keeping my blog a secret from office colleagues. However he was googling, and some key words he had used listed my blog as one of the sites matched. Although my name was different, my picture was a dead give-away.

Then, one day I followed the link from my site meter, and found a few of my entries 'word for word' sitting pretty in someone else's blog. I made no fuss. Then another trail led me to one of my poems which has been translated to French - but the person gave credit to me as the original writer. At least he or she had the civic mindedness to acknowledge.

Tonight, another trail from my sitemeter led me to a summary of every single one of my entries.......here. Wow! I was shocked that such thing is available. When I changed the serial number, it led to another person's blog and every single one of the entries there also appeared.

This site is actually very useful to see and track a particular blog of our interest. If only we know what the blog's serial number is....

This morning, LiL sent me this sms, "Congrats, ur blog is in the top 40....go to www.theblogrevenue.com".

Erm, yet another one of those rating or ranking sites....I really do not care much for ranking. I earn nothing and gain nothing. The only satisfaction I derive is when I know I have made connection with a few people through my blog.

I am sitting here feeling amazed, surprised, scared with what goes on behind the scenes in the cyberspace - unknown to many of us.

It gets me to think, that for young people - it is prudent to be very careful with what one puts up in cyber space - it may haunts you back in the future. It may in fact limit one's future! I have known of employers who conduct cyber seach on candidates to see what are associated with him or her.

I googled and found a blog belonging to my son, aD. One blogger from my previous school has included me in his blogroll together with all of other sites related to the school - which has exposed me to the community of old boys from the same school. Is this good or bad.....does not really matter. But it sure made me nervous.....knowing that those old-boys knew me from the past......of being six years in a boarding school together. hehehehe!

No where to hide!

ps: latest, someone in the family requested me to bring readers here.

Re-union.....!

There is a re Union of some sort in our home. MIL and Achik arrived from Malaysia yesterday morning. Last night, the boys and I had a splashing time at the pool - our way of celebrating Achik's presence. Luqman was very expressive in showing how much he misses Achik and how much more he appreciates Achik's arrival.

MIL seemed happy to be with her cucu-cucu again. Her arrival is also special to both LiL and I, since this is the first time she visited us in Dubai and the first time we have an opportunity to show her some of the beautiful places in UAE and the nice friends we have made here. This Friday, we are driving to Ras Al-Khaimah, visiting a Malaysian friend cum a little sight-seeing.

Along ( still single and looking......hehehehe. this advert is done for free for him ) will be arriving soon, in December. This morning he was all excited when he went to collect a check I have sent to him through a friend from Dubai who has gone back to KL. He sent me an sms, "ayah, check dah ambik..tq v much. Now nak gi beli tiket!". Then before I could reply to that one, I received another one from him, "ps: anak pompuan pakcik tu sungguh lawa, dok study stpm". I sent a reply....and smiled to myself. Lil was curious and insisted on reading what I have said, so I showed her, "Go tekel, ayah sokong! ".

Unlike Achik ( single tapi masih menumpu kepada studies, no time for GFs ) who is here for a semester break, Along will be here for a long stay. He will be looking for a job here in Dubai and live with us. I look forward to welcoming him. Upon reflection, we have spent very little time living under one roof with Along. After birth he was living with LiL's parents until he was seven. Later on, he went to boarding schools and has been living independently either in hostels or in shared apartments. Now a young man, there are many possibilities of things he and I can do together!

Angah ( not interested in boys for now....hehehe ) in Dublin will be having her exams in December. She has hinted that she wanted to come to Dubai after her exams is over. I am leaving the option open.....and let she decides. Given that her studies will be completed in July next year, I prefer for her to use any vacation time she has to explore and see places in Europe. It is not that we do not miss her, it is just that I do not want her to miss the opportunity of maximizing her care free student days there......Having said that, deep down I know how wonderful it will be having all of our children for a big re-union in Dubai this year end.

About Hobbies...

My intention was to have a conversation engaging her into what I was doing.....but for some reasons she wasn't interested.

"What is your view about hobies?" I asked LiL. She was watching a crime series on showtime TV and I was trying to write an entry for my blog.
"Why" She asked me back. I knew from her tone that I was an irritant, as she was focusing to follow the dialogue of the 'Silent Witness' drama.
"I want to write about hobbies" Said I.
"What a boring subject" she said, hoping to end the conversation, except that I wasn't ready to give up. So I followed up with another question, "Why is it a boring subject?"
"It is an old topic, so it is boring..." She was obviously not interested to have a conversation - drama was at a suspence stage. She started to display her irritation through clear body language - to show that she'd rather do something else while watching TV than talking to me, she started to peel off dead skin from her soles.
"Yea, but I want to write about hobbies....so what is your view?" Beginning to feel irritated myself, I started to 'kuis kuis' her feet with my toes.
"You write la what you want to write - your hobby is writing kan? My hobby is only to read what you write - so tomorrow la I buat hobby I ok....ok or not" She said with a kind of look and a forced smile to disguise her silent scream, "Don't disturb me lah, I want to watch TV".

So.....there you go folks, my entry on 'Hobbies' which has taken a different twist - and arrive at a different conclusion from what I orginally intended to write about. It is still a valid conclusion - that two people with different hobbies can co-exist in harmony provided both accept and respect that the other may not share in your own hobby.

My original intention was to write about my new zest in pursuing one of my hobbies - as demonstrated here. However, tonight I will settle with this entry - afterall writing and upkeeping my blog is more than a hobby to me - it is a passion!

*Kuis kuis her feet some more....hehehe...sambil genyit mata!*

Winning an audience...

Make them applause within the the first 3 minutes, and they will stay glued listening for the next three hours! That is a mantra I truly believe in and practice....

Whether you are going for an interview or planning to address an audience of 1000 people - winning the audience within the first 3 minutes is so important. Decision made within the first 3 minutes shapes the audience attitude for the whole session.

The last few days I conducted two training sessions for managers in our group of companies. Each session was successful as measured from comments from the participants and the evaluation they gave at the end. I scored an average of 4.8 out of maximum 5 - and it was done anonymously, so I believe they were sincere! Hehehe.

I have another two sessions tomorrow, and for the good part of this evening I am already hyping myself up on how to begin tomorrow's session. I try to understand what will be top most on my audience minds and what will be close to their hearts as they walk into my session tomorrow. That is were I will start!

At job interviews, decisions are made within 3 minutes. The rest of the time is spent by the interviewers to ask candidates questions which will confirm his or her decision (made within the first 3 minutes). First impressions - counts!
My advise to potential candidates or would be public speakers is to be so clear in your mind of what you will say, how you will sound and how you will appear for the first three minutes. A tip to the unintiated bloggers is to start off your entry with sentences which 'hook' readers interest to find out more. Be it more about your 'ayah in KB' or about the 'corner table ..in the very dining hall'. You can also engage your audience early on - by inviting them to laugh with you or at you because you purchased three pairs of spectacles.

People judge from what they see first then by what they hear. Even if one says all the right things, but if the way one present oneself is less than impressive then it is unlikely that one will get the desired outcome.

Face it, even in reading blogs during blog-hops - whether or not you continue reading every words writen depends on the first few lines. Readers need to feel enough hook and sufficient curiosity raised for them to continue reading. Try to monitor your site meter and see for yourself the length of time readers spend on your own entries - making comparison between those with interesting and captivating opening lines with those which you start off with what appears like a journal from your life's diary.

Winning an audience within the first 3 minutes makes a difference! For tomorrow's training sessions, I am all ready with how I will start it off.

Ever wonder why some speakers are so charismatic? They know how to grab your interest right from the start! Did I raise your curiosity level with my opening short paragraph?

24 years...."of beautiful flight!"

*warning - If you are allergic to confessions of 'love' please skip this page*

Tonight

I sneaked out of bed

when I thought you have fallen asleep

....because I wanted to write

something special, something sweet

"Happy anniversary darling.....

......24 years of bliss, and still counting...!"

I google'd for love poems

I looked for you-tube songs

but in the end

I settled for words of my own

"Happy Anniversary dearest....

....thank you for the most wonderful 24 years!"

Tonight, on the eve of our anniversary

I recall - it all began in the summer of nineteen eighty

You accepted my invitation to a circus

we walked the sea front of Portsmouth

like two swans in flight

we felt - being together was just right

we let ocean breeze wiped away our worries

for together, we were free and happy

spreading our wings...

trusting our feelings....

Twenty four years ago today

you were a young and shy bride

I was a lucky man filled with pride

we started our journey - oh, what a flight!~

Tears and laughter, and occassional fights

Trust and Forgiveness, an eternal soul-mates.

Twenty four years that have passed

accumulated memories which made us, us

of fullfilled promises, and undying dreams

of unified wishes for a beautiful ending

of seeing till the end - what we started as friends

through thick and thin -we will share what life brings.

Through all these years, I have known to be true

- It doesn't matter where I go in life…or what I do
Or how much I have...whether it is red or blue

I am most happy when I am with you ! -

Please hang on tight - be with me

for the best....is yet to be

let us find joy in continue flying

for another twenty four years - with all of life's blessings.

I can keep on writing....turning words into poems

but I'd rather rejoin you in bed....sharing in your dreams

With a gentle kiss, let me wish you

"Happy anniversary darling - My love is true!"

*If you managed to read this far and still feel pretty ok - thank you for participating in celebrating our little anniversary jubilation*

BERSIH is not about washing your hands!

Nov 10th, 2007 – Family living room, Rumah Aku.
Jam : 9.30pm

Hundreds of emails flooded my in-box. Mostly forwarded emails with stories and attachments of the Operasi BERSIH ( here ). (for the uninitiated, read about the memorandum here which was the reason for BERSIH). Of course I also read utusan online and the star online ( but there were no pictures in these two newspapers - much to my surprise ).

I was watching one of the videos which has scenes of the P M and his S1L giving speeches at the persid@ngan @gung UMN0. It is obvious that the video has been doctored in such a manner to make mockery of the two leaders. I could not help, but to laugh out loud! It was so funny.....
On hearing lots of noise coming from me in the family living hall, Luqman appeared from his room asking, “Ada apa Ayah?”

I actually hesitated before I could answer him. The hesitation was long enough for him to come to behind the screen to watch the video. My instant reaction was to close it….I wasn’t ready for Luqman ( he is 7 ) to see what Malaysian politics has produced. I managed to persuade him to return to his room. Then it really struck me, "What am I doing watching all these craps!". But then again, is it about the videos which are 'craps, or the state of Malaysian politics itself which is crappy!!??
“What is happening to Malaysia?”

A few words came to my mind…..
- Teruk (You can disagree with me, but in my view – sudah kes really teruk! Majority of rakyat only wants safety, foods & education - and the leaders are acting like men possessed)
- Buruk ( To see adults, and especially adults in senior positions acting and using words like ‘beruk’ in a official functions, a chief minister doing an obsene gesture with his hands to orang kampung – are tauladan yang buruk for our children )
- Lapuk ( This type of political drama is out-dated )
- Beruk ( Even monkeys will be confused after watching the acts of humans – just try watching some of the you-tube videos ).

How do I answer my son? And how do I explain to my children about political scenes in Malaysia today?
This morning over breakfast, I told Luqman, much to his confusion and amusement at the same time ….
- Malaysia has a government. The Government keep the country in order like Mom do to our house. People above 21 can participate to choose who play the role of government. Like Ayah choose Mak.
- But, people can choose the government every four years. If they don’t like one government they can choose another one. Before you ask, Ayah can’t change Mak. (Lil gave me an approving smile on this point)
- Now in Malaysia the people are thinking about who to choose for the next government. So, a lot of fighting going on lah! That is why Ayah don’t want to change Mak…..To avoid fighting lah.
( LiL went….”Oo, pandai la tu lawyer buruk kan anak tu”)

I am sure, given time I will find a good enough explaination for Luqman. Given time also, hopefully our political leaders will act less like the cartoons characters from the Disney world – which surely make it a lot easier for me in explaining. For now, he does have some impression that, “Ooo…politics tu macam kartun ka ayah?”

I am not politically inclined, and is not even sure whether I will vote this time since I am away from Malaysia. But, I think I will make an effort to vote.....I want to be counted for the future of Malaysia. Afterall BERSIH, is not about washing one's hands.....!

PS : This is a free promotion - done in the name of a bapak's love for his son - at his request!
If you are have the time, please visit him there and leave him with some encouragement to find a girl....hehehe. He is broken hearted. Tsk tsk tsk ( Hah! kata nak glemer! kan dah ....)

Circle of trust...

Trust - Like the waves trusting the shore...!

Networking, be in real life or in cyberworld follows certain code of conduct if it is to stand the test of time. Through blogging we share our stories and gain gratification from knowing that someone on the other end of the internet waves reads and have a reaction to what we wrote. While the code of conduct in my view, does not impose on everyone to agree with what we write - however, it does include that we maintain respect.


I have enjoyed two years of networking through my blog, bakpo. In those two years I have sang many birthday songs for fellow bloggers, congratulated many single persons who ended in marriages, gone through bereavements, and have met so many genuinely wonderful, inspiring & trustworthy individuals.
My circle of trust opens wide - with me believing and trusting that everyone out there share the same good will, big heart, and generousity and kindness which I have seen in many whom I have personally met. Alas.....the world is a whirpool. It sucks you in if you let your guard down.
I learnt, that a circle of trust has to be managed. I must know who is in my circle before I can fully trust them.
I have always been a person who starts off any relationship by trusting people first until my trust is broken. I will continue that way.


"Sugar is sweet ....and so are people. But, sugar doesn't betray you!"

Life of a bapak!

'bapak' yang harus kita bersimpati

My idea of a macho 'bapak'

I stole the title from this blog.

This topic can be expanded into a novel - of maybe 500 pages. Afterall, I have been a bapak for the last 23 years - and to six anak! However, my story as a bapak will not be half as interesting and LiL's story as an ibu. So to any would be publishers, you are well advised to go along with her story ....

But I do have a story to tell. My target audience is not any would be bapak - hence this is not for educational purposes! It is also not for existing bapaks - you already have a story of your own to deal with. This story is for ibu-ibu....hehehehe.....especially ibu-ibu who are currently unhappy with their own bapak-bapak.

"As a bapak we sleep late, wake up late, have our foods served on silver plates. We don't do dishes nor wash our own clothes. We could never find sugar jars nor the tin openers from ibu's kitchen whenever 'ibu' is not around. It puzzles us why 'ibu' don't just leave everything everywhere - which makes it easier to find. Afterall, we always find our remote controls and that is because we simply leave them everywhere.

One more thing you need to know, we bapak are deaf to any babies crying at night. We simply can't hear their wailing. Changing diapers is a no no. That is so ibu-ibu and not sightly for us bapak to be seen doing so. We will be a laughing stock amongst our friends. You wouldn't want us to be laughed at, do you?

If we go shopping together, we can't be seen carrying your shopping bags. Please ask one of our childen to do so if you need help. Cammon la, as a bapak we are too busy to show our children to do their homework la.....and any little time we have is to catch up with our mates over teh tarik at a mamak stall.

And who says that as bapak we need to have decent conversation with our children. Isn't it enough that we provide them with their pocket money and we ocassionally make grunting sound and nod our head when they talk to us.

As ibu, please don't be annoyed of we kick off our shoes anywhere and leave them there for you to pick them and store carefully in the shoe rack. It is an accepted bapak's habit.....for centuries.

If we turn over and snore after our 'little bedtime game' - it is because as a bapak we must rest for tomorrow's work. Anyway, what is ibu doing staying awake for? We bapak find that hard to understand.

Life as a bapak is 'hunting' to bring foods home. Sometimes as a bapak we come home injured - emotional drained, physically exhausted, and mentally jaded. We then expect 'ibu' to swallow all of her own frustrations and tend to us without questions. Other times, we come home expecting a lot - hot tea in a cup on a saucer, 'ibu' in her best home dress with glossy lipstick freshly applied, children quietly doing their homework in their own rooms, soft musics playing, and 'ibu' looking at us adoringly while we unwind from another hard days work. A bapak - afterall is the King of his castle."

If I remind you of someone in your own house - take solace in the similarity. If I sounds far fetched from the hero character you have read in so many novels - stop believing the novels. Life is far too real for you to live in a fantasy land. :-)

Ok, I do the odd dishes. And I do take out the garbage bins. Ah yes, I am the one who goes round the house at night making sure all doors and windows are locked. And more often than not, I am the one who volunteer first to give LiL her shoulder massage....which often leads her to return the favour. But I am no angel, and wish to remain as the King of my house. Hehehe

This entry is partly inspired by a Korean series I watched on cable TV today - Two 'bapaks' were put side by side to share what type of a 'bapak' they are. One is a successful sugeon - and he sounded in control of his destiny. Another is a singer - he potrayed himself as an ideal husband who does dishes and all sort of chores. The surgeon looked like a happier man, looking youthful despite them being of the same age group (Mid fourties). The singer sounded very bitter. One of the things the surgeon said is worthy of repetition "A bapak who focus too much in pleasing his wife often compromises his ability to be at his best in his work and not so good socially as well".
To which the singer replied spontaneously,
"No wonder I have not a hit song for years - I have spent too much time doing the dishes".

My point from this rambling is .......to all 'ibu-ibu' and including my 'beloved ibu - LiL ( hehehe....I am smiling sheepishly) treat your man like a king in his palace - and he will be happier, stay youthful for longer, and become more successful in his career too. And it is more likely that your King will treat you like a special queen after the bedroom light is switched off......when it matters on the mattresses!

But if you let your 'bapak' slaves it out at home - he will be one grudgingly, believe me! Just look at the top picture.....do you think he is a happy man? We would not want to be seen in his company.....not in a million years. hahahaha

Now - I am ready to be shot!!! hehehehe

Should this blog one day goes silent

no more replies to your comments

and new entry not to be seen

would you be asking...."how have I been?"

I wonder.....

Who am I, but a blogger

known to only a few, to others a mere writer

and if one day, I remain in sleep

and all my passwords scattered at my feet

would you visit me at my final resting place?

Or in my absence you seek solace?

I wonder......

Here close to me are people I often ignore

in my earnest pursuit of reaching different shores

and should my children weep my final departure

and in silent tears they will say prayers

"Daddy is gone - God loves him dearly

In Heaven he rests and looks down on us smilingly"

Should this blog one day goes silent

wonder no more....

for I may have found my reason.

Tears ... are words a heart can't bear to say

my tears flow, just thinking of the final day

Would I pass the test

Have I been at my best?

Forgive me God....for all of my sins

In the night darkness, I stay awake counting

My days are indeed numbered

it has taken me this long to have that figured

In you O the Merciful and Compassionate

I place my trust, my fear, my hope.

A reminder unfolds before my very eyes

In life and death, we choose our own ways

"Which way shall I take?"

"Take the God's way" I'm reminded of that today!

Should this blog one day goes silent

wonder not how have I been.....

For I may have made my choice

To make up for the time I have lost.

But I won't bid farewell

I may return one day with a story to tell...

.....

(I offer arwah Al Fatihah )

(I offer her and her children prayers)