Performance Appraisal - at home?

Now is the time when most companies are doing their 'Performance Appraisal'. I wonder how would quality of marriages improve if we conduct 'Performance Appraisal' on the home front.
Imagine for a moment a scenario where husbands and wives sit down and provide formal feedback, once a year, about the performance of their spouses.
Perhaps, some broken marriages could have been saved!
Perhaps, many unhappy couple could be spared of the need to find happiness outside of their marriages!
Perhaps, some marriages would be broken, but both sides end up happier~!

I was looking at some of the 'Values' normally used by established organizations. While reflecting how the managers can use the values in providing feedback to their staff, I also reflected, perhaps the same values could be used on the home front - where husbands and wives can use them to provide feedback to their spouses.

To illustrate how effective this 'Performance Appraisal' can be on the home front, I have taken the liberty to fill in a 'mock' sample where a wife is giving feedback to her husband.

You can imagine for yourself how the actual discussion will take place.

CORE VALUES

1 Aspiration for Excellence:

(The inclination to pursue the best results beyond expectation, with passion.)

No dear! Your passion of excellence seems to have focused only on yourself. Often, you have left me hanging mid-way. Sometimes, you completed your job before I even shifted gear.  You need to take some lessons from how pilots fly airplanes; they normally slowly reverse out of parking lot, go on a slow  and deliberate drive looking for the run-way, ram up their engine, they whisper some kind of husky voice announcing and welcoming passengers, cabin crew offers hot towels and  some niceties, and  only then would the plane go into take off mode. You will notice that the plane sways from side to side while  gaining height, and it is a good 20 minutes before they go into cruise mode! And, dear, it is a long cruise mode! When they 'arrive' they don't just abandon! They reverse the process - slowly taking the plane into bay. The pilot and the plane always, I repeat always, 'arrive' together! I have to rate you poorly. Luckily, I have my DIY kit available for me to finish off what you don't!
Oh by the way, the bank has called ten times asking about the Porsche over due installment! They said, they will 'Tarik the Kereta!' if you don't pay up. Your 'Biar Papa Asal bergaya' lifestyle is not the kind of excellence I look for! I prefer you drive a Volkswagen, but using your own money!

2 Respect for Others:

(Value other people's opinions. Considerate of people's likes and dislikes. Sensitive to other people's feelings.)

 When I give you my opinion, you say I nag. When I don’t give my opinion, you say I am a slow fag. I like it if you will occasionally treat me like a princess, but you are apparently not sensitive to my likings. However your sensitivity is super fragile when I am not able to find your  misplaced car key, sun-glasses and everything else.  I don't remember you farting in front of your friends, not even once! But you do that all the time to my face! I think you are taking me for granted. I don't feel respected. Maybe because you think that I am smarter than you, that could be the reason you try to always put me down! You put me down, but you don't go down anymore....I used to love it when you did! Again, I rate you poorly, and for the record, treating other women as princesses do not count to your credit!

3 Quality at Minimum Cost:

(Ability to achieve the maximum quality at the lowest possible cost.)

I think you are superb in caring for cost, unfortunately you don’t really care about the quality. When you say, ‘Let us dine out!’ you often mean, let us go to Mac Donald! Your idea of a family vacation is to drive for 8 hours to visit your folks in the kampung. I am still waiting for a real vacation, maybe a two weeks tour of Europe. Why can't we change our curtains with Italian fabrics like the neighbors, not with material you buy from Nilai. Diamonds are a lady's best friend, dear, and NOT 'kaca!' for that reason, I keep the ring you gave for my last birthday, in the bottom drawer! I also found out that the LV handbag you said you bought in Singapore was a cheap version of fake. Which made we wonder if you have sneaked to Golok recently!

4 Sustainability:

(Strives to engage, enlighten, empower, and include all stakeholders for capacity building and participation.)

 At first when I read the word ‘sustainability’ I jumped to conclusion – “You are so lousy, can’t even sustain beyond 2 minutes!”Then I read again and understood the real meaning. It is not just about 'that' kind of sustainability, it is about other important things as well. It is also about empowerment and participation – giving as well as taking. It is also about engaging, and enlightening. Your way of engaging is not what is meant here. “Do this!” “Give me that!” “Bring here!” is called bullying! Leaving me sleepless alone while you take you-know-who out for dining and and listening to her whining, is far from empowering~! You fail badly in this criteria dear! Perhaps, even our marriage is not sustainable - who knows!

5 Safety at Work:

(Adhering to all safety protocols and to identify and report any risk elements.)

You have obviously learnt the wrong trait from Tiger Wood. You have more than once turned to me with a golf driver in your hand, when you become angry. I wonder why and how you can become so easily angry with me - but turn into the nicest man in the neighborhood to other desperate women out there! You have successfully made me scared of you, which I think is your intention right from the beginning so that I don't questions your decision or actions. To be honest, I feel much safe and at peace when ever you are not home. 


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