My life: a silly reflection...

In a life so full of drama, I have gone through the ups and down like everyone else. Along the way, I have taken people up with me, and a few followed me down the cliff too. For a life which most time has been spent treading deep waters, and some other time spent tip-toeing slippery slopes, I have been lucky to still be standing on firm ground. To God my undivided gratitude! I have been living right on the edge!

A wise man once told me, "Unless you dare to go to the edge, you won't be able to see very far!" Like any gullible man, I have taken the words of the wise man, unquestioningly.

I wish the wise man has also said, "However, young man, you may wish to know that very often what we see depends on what is within us not what is out there!"

The popular saying, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!" supports what I have just said. Whether or not one sees the landscape as full of thorny bushes or of flowering roses, is personal to the beholder. Eyes, are windows to our heart - both outside in, as well as inside out!

One can choose to see a glass half empty or half full! One can see problems as blockages or as hurdles which eliminate competitions. One can see cracks in the walls as dents, or as spaces where light can shines through. I always try to see the good side of things...

Yes, I have tasted failures. Many~! I failed my A-level. I failed my second year in University. I failed this and i failed that. I was living too close to the edge, I fell face down many times. Each time, I got up and dusted myself, all the wiser! Scarred, but not scared! Repentent, but no regrets! I bounced back...with a few 'aha' moments to add to my notes about lessons from the school of hard-knocks! Today, by any measures of averages, my life and successes have been above average! Again, my full gratitude to God, the Compasionate and the Merciful~!

Just a few weeks ago, I lost close to one hundred grands (yes, five zeroes in the figure) because a property purchase deal went sour. I lost my 10 percent deposit. At first I was angry. I hurled profanities to a few - my lawyer, my bank, my real estate agent, and the seller. But mostly to myself!  My wife didn't say much, but what she said, sobered me up. "You have asked God to 'Permudahkan urusan jual beli of your properties'. You have made some profits, and this is the only time you think you lose. Maybe, by losing what you lost, prevents you from losing a lot more in the future. Should you not trust God?"

I was speechless. All I could do was to get up from my hot seat and went to  hug her with a kiss. My way of saying, thank you!

Sometimes, I worry for myself. Have I become so numbed to failures that I approach life with an out of place swagger ?  Confidence to the point of a fault, and turning myself into a cocky old man? Should I continue to throw caution to the winds, or should I take more deliberate steps in this rather late part of life's journey? Is there a need to continue to be at the edge, when in any case my eye sight does not permit me to see that far? The saying, "Go as far as you can see, when you get there you will see further!" I used to put up on my wall does not hold true much longer. My knees are weak. My back gives me pain. My eyes sight failing. Should I not be happy to simply find firm ground under my feet, and be happy where ever I am!

In a life already full of drama, I can say I have been there and done that. But honestly, who cares? People of today are too busy navigating their own lives, they have little time for your past, good or bad! They care for your present, and that too, if you are relevant to them.

The answer, therefore, is to remain relevant to people around you! To my family, I hope, I remain relevant in more ways than one. Sometimes, we do need a little reassurance.

I dread to think of my fate, once I become no longer relevant to anyone?

That was perhaps how DODO had become extinct! The silly old bird was of no use to any other living creatures, even to its own kind.