"Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble" - Arabic proverb.
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- The above is my secret of staying sane, happy and optimistics about life.
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During lunch with a friend today, he mentioned about one of many Malay traits, "Sensitive - Mudah terkedu!". He quoted an example of our mutual friend who is easily affected by simple and trivial things - mostly unintended. As an example, he would stay away from an invitation just because he was not amongst the first few invited. If he knew or even feel that he was invited after fiften others, then he felt slighted. The host, I am sure would never have guessed that one of his invitees failed to turn up because of that reason. When I first heard that example, I too dismissed the guy as being childish. However, upon reflections......I appreciate and respect that he too is entitled to his own individuality and nuances. Who am I to be a better judge!!!
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Often, when we are engaged in conversation of criticizing others, we forgot that others too are entitled to have their opinion about us. So while calling all sort of names on one person, I have seen a friend hitting the roof when told actually the person he was calling names also have called him by some sordid sounding name. Why the double standard??
I don't mind in the least if so and so calls me this or that. I maybe dissappointed for a while...that is about it.
There is another proverb which I find quite telling, "You can't pick the cherries if you are not facing the tree!"
Some of us....would try to pick cherries from a thousand miles away. Some have never seen a cheery tree, yet based on what stories heard, choose to have a go anyway!! "Betul betul mangkuk punya orang....!!!!" hehehehe.
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A person who knows himself or herself well - will be less bothered by what people says about them. Infact, to the contrary they welcome views and opinions and want to understand what trigger those? These feedbacks are taken as nourishments for development and growth.
But there are more people, especially Melayu, who would rather close their eyes and ears and definitely their hearts to any critics or feedbacks.
They are beyond any critics.....!!
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Another Arabic proverb will end my entry,
"The mind is for seeing, and the heart if for hearing".
Open both.....and be happier!
err.. post ini ditujukan kepada sesiapa in particular ke?
ReplyDelete;)
:-) noo laaa....hehehe....secara umum, termasuk diri saya sendiri juga...
ReplyDeletepakpayne
2nd last para tu cam mengena kat seseorang jer. moral kisah ni - jgnler dok hukum buku melalui kulitnyer?? tak baik tau...hehehe
ReplyDeletekc...:-) happy anniversary kepada kamu dan suami!!
ReplyDeletepakpayne
kalau kat blog world ni ada yang sensitif kalau kita tak letak link dia kat blog kita..sat, sat nak pi check ada tak my link kat sini
ReplyDelete.
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hahahahaha..abe payne! tak dok laaa..hahahah..so, should I be sensitive about it? ada tu sampai tak datang visit dah, but well, like you said siapalah kita nak judge kan?
I told my boss when he called me to his room regarding my resign letter..among other things, I told him..
"yes, bosses can evaluate us the employee but we as employee can also evaluate our bosses and we can choose...it's not that we don't have any option at all"
some bosses think that kalau employee tu lama keje dgn depa, mesti dia dah tak ada tempat nak pi so they will do as they like to that employee.
same goes, with friends - kadang2 kita bercakap ikut sedap mulut jer without thinking kot2 the intended person rasa sensitive.
I noticed lah nowadays, younger people get to climb corporate ladder very fast but not many of them are tactful and have good PR skills - these are called softskills. More often than not, these people will act bossy! Nak tunjuk power tak tentu pasal.
they don't understand the malay proverb "ikut resmi padi, makin berisi makin tunduk"
kematangan dan kebijaksaan akan terserlah daripada cara kita berkomunikasi dengan orang lain.
Tak kiralah verbal or in writings.
Ni nak menulis surat pun tak pakai intro = basa-basi tu dah tak ada, walhal it is important! (to me lah)
onde onde...:-)
ReplyDelete*hulur tangan salam*....hehehe....link kekohchar sudah di masukkan. inilah cara terbaik, jika ada yang kurang kena - bagitau! boleh di betulkan. Jika di simpan, kuih kekohchar tu pun boleh basi hehehe
betul an setuju sgt dengan onde onde...we hv choices - bukan boss je boleh pilih, kita pun boleh pilih!
bukan suami jer boleh pilih - isteri pun boleh pilih...hehehe
bukan *hang jer* boleh kata *hang suka ka tak suka orang tu* - orang tu pun meluat kat *hang!*. hehehe itu contoh2 nya la....hehehe
err....kerja semakin sibuk ka??
menten ye.
summer cuti2 ni insyAAllah kita jumpa lagi.
pakpayne
I am a sensitive person, but i realize that i can also be very insensitive to others.... unknowingly....
ReplyDeleteBeen comin' here to check on you..alhamdulillah, the momentum is back...byk nak komen tapi mcm tak sempat (maklum life in the office is peaking up...mula busy sakan ni bro...)
ReplyDeleteI like this entry...it reminds us all not to be judgemental about others...tak kenal maka tak cinta...tak dengar mana nak jatuh suka...kan bro?
U take care and my salam to kak Aisyah...
malays r overly sensitive... that i can vouch for...tapi bila terlalu over...alahai... tak segak la ..
ReplyDeleteeh sejak bila u jadi pakpyne ni arif?? heheh nampak sangat i lama tak mai blog u....hope u r all well :0)
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,
ReplyDeleteLama tidak menjenguk...
Ehm..
Saya belajar daripada Puan Ainon (SifuPTS) supaya menerima segala kritikan yang negatif itu...kemudian lakukan segala usaha supaya segala yang negatif itu dapat melahirkan sesuatu yang positif dari dalam diri kita sendiri...
Jika dalam Islam, kita diminta berlapang dada dengan muhasabah (teguran)dari sahabat dan musuh.
Masakan kita sudah lupa, kata-kaa Nabi (s.a.w.) "Mukmin itu cermin bagi saudaranya..."
Mengapa perlunya kita kepada cermin? Kita perlu lihat cermin sekiranya mahu kemas penampilan diri. Tanpa cermin masakan kita dapat nampak, kolar baju senget sebelah, rambut kusut masai dan sebagainya...
Kata-kata musuh pula lebih berharga sebab kadangkala dia lebih berterus terang daripada sahabat yang sentiasa mahu menjaga hati kita..
Paling pentingnya selalu muhasabah diri sendiri kemudian muhasabah orang lain secara berhikmah atas dasar kasihnya kepadanya kerana Allah semata-mata..
Jadikan Surah Al 'Asr
"..nasihat menasihati dengan kebenaran, nasihat menasihati dengan kesabaran."
sebagai pegangan... :-)
Wallahualam..
Assalamualaikum Pak Payne :)
ReplyDeleteI guess being sensitive in this context goes beyond ethnic groups/ origins. We can't really associate certain traits with certain ethnic/racial groups ALTHOUGH some might be true..
Everyone of us has our own strengths which of course come with our own weaknesses as well. So, you are VERY RIGHT when you said who are we to judge?
hehe :) just my humble guess though!
helena...:-) it is because u r a sensitive person la kan...that made u sometimes realize u may hv offedd others.
ReplyDeleteInsensitive people, they dont care...
So being sensitive is infact a positive trait too...
pakpayne
raden galoh...:-)
ReplyDeletetenkiu for caring..and yes, i am back on my feet bouncing up and down the street. hehehe
salam telah di sampaikan, aishah berkirim salam kembali.
pakpayne
simah....:-)
ReplyDeletehehehe, i jadi pakpayne di sini sejak dua minggu dah...tapi memang dari tahun 70an sudah jadi pakpayne. hehehe.
thanks.
pakpayne
umi kalthum,
ReplyDelete:-)
salam sejahtera juga ke atas puan dan keluarga.
asya sungguh suka ingatan ini dari umi....
"Jadikan Surah Al 'Asr
..nasihat menasihati dengan kebenaran, nasihat menasihati dengan kesabaran."
Yes....nasihat yg datang dari hati yg ihlas kerana Allah...akan dilakukan dengan kebenaran dan dengan sabar dan berhemah. Nasihat yg baik....tidak melukai hati orang yg di nasihati.
i like that!
pakpayne
little muffins....;)
ReplyDeleteyes, memang semua bangsa ada yg sensitive dan ada yg tidak. Tapi kan pada hemat saya lah....sensitive orang melayu ni ...lebih sikit. Mudah terkedu, mudah dengki, mudah amarah, dan mudah berdendam. Sorry to say....but so so true. Maybe, I jer kut yg ternampak macam tu...hehehehe.
pakpayne.