I woke up this morning....

Darling,

I went out for dinner last night. I had Lebanese grill and juice delima. It was satisfying. I rushed home, to be with you. And I was thrilled to see you were online. But then, the line went down. It was from my side, I know because Amirul also was disconnected from whatever he was doing.

I woke up to the sound of your sms message coming in this morning. Not so sure I can live up to the expectation. I can try to be, but my balloon may burst, if I blow too much hot air into it. But then again, I know I have a tendency to discount my own ability. So, let us talk after the event....

The paintings you did when you were here are constant reminders of what I am missing. I started on two of them, and you finished them for me beautifully. For more than two decades now, you have been giving the finishing touch to my life.

I was in the shower this morning, when the radio was belting out King of Leon's 'Use somebody'.

"Someone like you and all you know and how you speak,

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you"

I sang along. Off beat, and off tune! I know you would remind me instantly of those deficiencies in my singing. But I also know, while others in the audience would turn and walk away, you have been and will stick around, applauding me. You even give me a feeling that you actually find my off-beat off-tune singing quite entertaining.

When I was toweling myself dry, the radio has moved on to other song but I was repeating the same lines from King of Leon. Then my voice faded, and came to a silent stop. I choked on the words, as I was listening to the silent sound of your laughter. I was expecting to hear your laughter, laughing at my singing, but it was not there.

That was when I called you, and sang!

You were surprised, I know.

I also know, you didn't for one moment believe it was the King of Leon on the phone, for you laughed instantly.

And that was all that matters. You have made my day, your way.

I miss your giggling small laugh.

As you know, I will be attending dinner function with the Prime Minister of Malaysia and other cabinet and chief Ministers this evening. I will do my best to make you proud. I will not complain about the rising sugar price, nor will I try to teach them to do their jobs. I know I would be offended if any of them were to teach me how to run my business, without first being in my shoes. I may just ask for one thing from the PM, that is for us Malaysians abroad to be allowed to vote by post again. As I am pondering on which shirt to wear and which neck-tie will match, I could not help but to hum the lyrics of 'Use somebody', and wish you were here....not to choose those for me, but simply to hug~! *sigh*

I miss you darling~!

urs, A.