"If I could turn back the time....."

A chat with sis Raden Galoh on this Friday afternoon covered many grounds. Towards the end, I asked her if she wish to choose a topic for me to write on.She suggested, "If you could turn back the time...what would you do?"
I agreed to the topic, and requested that she too write on the same. We agreed to release the posting latest by 12midnight Dubai time. I therefore rush back from a Merdeka Go-Kart race here in Dubai, and sat at my lap-top straight away upon reaching home. Read here about the Go-Kart race as reported by Bernama.

"If I could turn back the time......"

Silat!
When I was a child I enjoyed reading about Malay heroes such as Tok Janggut and Mat Kilau. I found stories about Hang Tuah and his legendary friends inspiring. Panglima Hitam was another heroic character I admired. If I could turn back the time....I would learn some of their Silat and 'ilmu kebatinan'. I don't exactly know the reason for my wish, but I do get occassional pangs of regrets for not mastering silat and some of those 'ilmu pendekar'.
Perhaps, there is inside of me a wish to 'pukul' those penjahat2 to our ugama dan negara!!!
Prakkkkkkk!!! one karate chop sambil cakap, "Nah! rasa kan!!" *Puas hati aku!*

Swimming!
I had a beautiful childhood. One filled with love. Born the last child and the only son, I was the center of my parents' universe. I had all of their attention and love. I did well in school and was the favourite student of my Quran teacher. There aren't much I would have done differently.....but one thing I wish I had. I would have learn to swim! Not just a swimming pool swimmer, but I would want to have been able to jump off trees into the Kelantan river like many of my childhood friends. Tak de la asyek jadi penunggu seluar dan baju mereka jer! Ini tidak, asyek asyek depa dok kata, "Kau tolong jaga baju kita orang ye!"

Hafiz!
I Khatam Al-Quran at the age of ten. The second time a year later. If I could turn back the time....I want to be a Hafiz Al Quran. If I could turn back the time....I want to speak Arabic and understand the Al Quran! Tak de la macam sekarang ni hah...dah lima tahun kat negara arab ni, cuma tahu cakap "AhlanWasahlan..." jer!! But but, I do remember by heart some of the Surah Lazim! Tapi ada juga apabila solat anak2 bertanya, "kenapa ayah asyek2 baca surah Qul Huallah tu jer!"

Repentence!
I have consciously committed many sins throughout my life. Some were big sins, and some were small sins. Some were sins with people, and some were sins with God. There were times I had repented. But there times when I repeated the same sins. If I could turn back the time....I want to stay repented! To stay clear from sins which I have regretted doing in the past! Fortunately, this is something which I can take control from here on....May God provide me with the resolve and strength to stay on the right path! Kalau sekali buat dosa tu dah berdosa, tapi boleh lah kata lupa. Kalau dah dua kali tu....ermmm, saja cari pasal la tu!!

I have only one mother - and she is gone!
I lost my father when I was ten. I grew up mourning his death and envying my friends whose father were there for them. When i graduated, I regreted that he was not there to celebrate my success. When I received my first salary, I swallowed my tears of sadness that I was not able to spend on him. But I did very little differently for my mother who was then alive. I let her live without my constant presence....I let her waited by the phone without bothering to call for weeks. I visited her occassionally and was always in a hurry to return to my job. Seldom did I tell her that I love her. When she was sick, I called to ask her to go see a doctor - little did I realize that all she wanted was for me to come home and hold her hands. When she was really sick towards the end of her life, I was shuttling from Singapore to visit her - without even considering that if it was the way around she would leave whatever was important to her to attend to me. She would do that because I was the most important thing in her life! If I could turn back the time....I would without hesitation and without a doubt - give my time to my mother! I would have taken leave from my job indefinitely....for she is the most important person in my life. Unfortunately I failed to realize that then when she was alive. I live with this one regret....and I ask God to forgive me, for all of my sins to my mother for not being there as a son should have. I have only one mother, and she is gone....forever! Unfortuntely, I could not turn back the time. *sampai la ni dok sedih pasal tak jaga bonda* Hangpa jangan tunggu sampai mak dan ayah hangpa takdak naa....jaga depa baik2 naa...!!

My darling...
Rain or shine, she has stood by me. And I pain her aplenty!
Thru hard times and thru good times, she has been by my side. And I hurt her often!
I have seen her tears....because of me she cried.
I have heard her prayers....for my well being she prayed.
Her heart bled....and I was holding the knife.
Her wound healed.....but her scars remain.
Yet, she loves me. Despite everything, she forgives me.
She is my darling! And if I can turn back the time....
I will possessively protect her, sincerely cherish her, and obsessively love her.....and not to hurt her!
But I could not turn back the time....therefore, I can only promise to make up for the time which have passed. She is my my darling...and she is my wife!!
*ntah kenapa ntah, bila habis tulih bab nie, aku dok tingat lagu tujuhpuluhan....knock three times....* Oh my darling, knock three times on the ceiling if you want me......

Role model!
Growing up without a father figure was hard for me. It turned harder when I myself became a father. I simply did not know how to role model as a father figure for my children. If I could turn back the time....I want to be a better father to them all! Forgive me children....I will keep trying!! *amboi...bukan main pulak! hangpa anak2 pun kena ingat...kena jugak cuba jadi anak2 mithali!! dengaq kata ayah naa...selalu tolong ayah naa....!! nanti ayah pencen, huluq2 la pitih tu naa!!* hehehehe

Let's get physical!
Whenever I go to a beach....I do not care if I see someone with a physic of a body builder. Whenever I am at a football field, I don't envy people who can run like Brian Giggs or bend balls like Beckam. But I do care.....Whenever I walk with my children, I wish I can cope up without panting and puffing. And it bothers me...that whenever I put on my trousers, I have to hold my breath in order to be able to button them up! I do wish so that I can walk up any stairs straight. I wish I am more physically fit!!
If I could turn back the time....I want to exercise more regularly and consider the food I eat!
*yang ni harus lah aku tulih...baghu lagi pi pereksa doktor....ubat yang dia bagi tu pun belum habih lagi dok telan nih....*

If I could turn back the time....I want to be a better Muslim! A much better Muslim!!
*Serius ni Budin! hang jangan dok gelak kat aku!!!*

--To sis Raden Galoh and to all readers of bakpo, Saya menyusun jari memohon ampun maaf jika ada salah dan silap. Semoga Puasa kita nanti di terima Allah!--