Pantun BBQ ....

"Sebakul manggis untuk tetamu

Rendang, limau purut limau kasturi

Tersimpul manis tersenyum malu
Kenyang perut suka hati"

Dari arang jadi bara

Dari bara jadi abu

Makan se orang tidak berselera

Hati terkenang pada diri mu

Kipas-kipas api membakar arang

Basah arang api terpadam

Kisah yang lepas usah di kenang

Kisah sekarang jadikan teman Pasang pelita bersumbukan benang

Pelita menyala berkelipan cahaya

Terpandang mata, hati pun sayang

Di serata dunia terkenang jua

Pada tulang ada daging

Mari di makan bersama-sama

Rasa sayang mata menjeling

Hati berkenan, jodoh tiada.

Ah, musim bbq telah tiba.....bau aroma daging dan ayam panggang dari laman jiran menusup kalbu.
Tiba-tiba LiL memanggil, "Abang....datang...cepat!". She was in the bedroom. But it was only 7pm....I thought to myself, "Buang tabiat ka si LiL nie....baru kol 7 petang dah panggil aku masuk bilek tidur nih".
"Tu bang....the neighbours sana tu dok pasang bara .....and that one sebelah sana tu dah bakar2 dah tu....patutlah dari tadi macam ada bau kan....".
That was on Thursday night.
Dan aku pun memasang hasrat.....berdendam! hehehehe

So semalam (Friday), aku ajak LiL and the boys to Emirates Mall - nekad untuk mencari BBQ set! We got the one yang guna arang rather than a gas aided type CheaperMore original lah kan....!
We also masukkan satu beg besar charcoal ke dalam trolley. Then we took another trolley to fill it up with two garden tables and ten chairs - BBQ bersama kawan2 lagi best la kan...hehehe.
Before we left, we realized we needed one more trolley - for daging, lamb, prawns, chicken and some veges. While driving back, I called a few friends with families - they declined because ada raya open house invitations else where. Called the Bujang friends from Arabian Ranches - they said, BBQ punya pasal, they will come!

Waduhhh, untuk pasang the BBQ set tu satu hal la pulak. Tercabar sungguh kesabaran dan kejuruteraan skill pak idham! In the end, I gave up! Amirul however persisted and sorted out all the parts, screws and nuts. He only came to ask me for help when he needed some brawn work....all the brain work was done by him!

Bravoooo Amirul, caya lah!!

For effect, we pasang also pelita minyak tanah ....macam survivor series gitu. Kebetulan, our back yard is sandy - so we did have a beach like effect.
Tepuk amai amai

belalang kupu-kupu

Bergambar ramai-ramai

Nanti malam mimpi susu!

Susu lemak manis

santan kelapa muda

Alahai, jangan lah nangis

walaupun tidur tu sorang2 jer!

hehehe...gurau usik orang-orang dok bujang tu....!

It was fun!

I am sure we will have more bbq......in our back yard

Sedap makan-makan

Berselera....walaupun hanya nasik putih dengan kicap!

Bertitih....

Orang dulu-dulu pentingkan silaratulrahim ....mereka sanggup berjalan kaki setengah hari untuk menziarahi waris-waris. Selalunya berbekalkan buah tangan yang bukan materialistik tapi lebih merupakan tanda ingatan ihlas dari hati. Orang dulu-dulu, mencari waris-waris jauh dan dekat....yang jauh di dekatkan, yang dekat di rapatkan, dan yang rapat di mampatkan.

Semasa kecil saya pun selalu mengikuti arwah ibu untuk menziarahi saudara mara. Saya masih ingat bagaimana kami berjalan meniti batas sawah, melalui lorong2 di ladang2 getah, dan berakit atau berperahu menyeberangi sungai. Namun penat dan lelah tidak di hitung atau di ungkit. Setiba, kami di layan seperti tetamu yang paling istimewa....di hidang ayam kampung peliharaan yang baru di sembelih, dan semestinya dijamu nasi tanakan beras dari sawah yang di usahakan sendiri. Setiap rumah waris yang kami ziarahi, saya akan selalu bertanya kepada arwah ibu - si anu dan si anu itu begaimana pertaliannya dengan kita? Risikan dan soalan2 begini di panggil 'bertitih' ..... sepupu di kenalkan, dua pupu di mesrakan...dan talian persaudaraan orang dulu-dulu menjangkau jauh hingga kepada yang hanya 'bau bau bacang'. Tidak seperti sekarang, persaudaraan selalunya mengikuti bau bau uwangggg.....

Untuk entry yang lepas, pembaca blog saya yang menamakan diri beliau nora7 ada meninggalkan komen
".....BTW...ntah2 kitapun related cause my mum from kg kemubu, kelantan jugak...hehehhe...maybe even we are related..;D"
Saya menghargai intisiatif nora7 kerana apa yang beliau tuliskan itu adalah permulaan untuk bertitih...Dan dari pertanyaan beginilah yang akan menemukan kembali ahli2 keluarga yang telah lama tidak disatukan....
Dan dari perbualan beginilah, LiL mengetahui H yang menziarahi kami semasa jalan2 raya itu rupa2nya ada tali persaudaraan!

Tidak rugi, bahkan banyak kebaikannya untuk kita sama2 mencari waris-waris kita yang telah lama tidak kita ketahui kewujudan mereka.....pada saya, eluk sangatlah kita hidupkan kembali amalan orang dulu-dulu - mencari, menziarahi, menjalin kemesraan antara waris-waris jauh dan dekat, tak mengira miskin atau kaya. Anak2 kita harus di asuh - nilai2 mengembangkan 'family tree' itu lebih afdal dan digalakkan dari mengembangkan 'facebo0k or friend5ter' network.

Ada di kalangan orang2 zaman sekarang menjauhi diri dari ahli keluarga, terutama yang kurang berada - kerana kununnya saudara mara yang kurang berada itu hanya mahu mengikis kekayaan mereka - alangkah sempitnya pemikiran dan bahilnya hati. Sebaliknya, pada penghayatan saya, mereka yang kurang berada harta benda itu - lebih bersyukur dengan apa yang mereka ada.

Jom, marilah kita sama2 bertitih! Mungkin kita bersaudara....

Errrk, saya rujuk kepada 'kamus on-line' namun perkataan 'bertitih' tidak wujud. Mungkinkah perkataan 'bertitih' ini hanya digunakan di Kelantan? Jika begitu, apakah yang bermaksud sama dengan 'bertitih' dalam konteks seperti yang saya tuliskan di atas?

No Title!

Malam ni tadi kami pergi beraya di rumah saudara Fendi dan isteri beliau S. Meriah sungguh - ramai tetamu yang datang, tua dan muda semua ada.....jamuan Satey ( Ayam, daging, kambing dan arnab) dan Soto sungguh enak! Saudara Fendi berbaju biru dalam gambar di bawah sedang membakar Satey! They were such gracious hosts...semua yang hadir mendapat layanan istimewa......

The arts of disagreeing and be accepted!

"My life is my argument." - Albert Schweitzer.

There was a lesson from my Eid open house which I want to share. A lesson which I learnt from children - they were strangers to each other, had fun playing, argued passionately about their views, and ended up having more fun together. The lesson was - they argued so that together they were better!
They are the master of the arts of disagreeing and yet be accepted.

Children do this the best - they disagree with each other, and yet get on along building on each other's ideas. I was observing Luqman and his new found friends playing during our Eid open house - there were about ten of them at the living area designated for kids. PS3 and lots of crisps were supposed to keep them occupied - and they were! I came up to take a close look after hearing what sounded like a big argument....only to find them in close huddle, arguing and disagreeing at the top of their voices, but with smiles on their faces and obvious camaraderie and respect for each other. They did not take anything said too seriously or personally! Everyone was cool.....
It seemed to me they understood the principle of "Disagreeing with the view, with the subject ...but not with the person."

At work, knowing how to disagree and yet get accepted makes a difference whether your own ideas are listened to - hence get implemented. And those who can slice in their views without causing ripples of objection tend to move on and up in the corporate ladder. To be successful we need constant renewal of influencing skills - for everyday we will come across people with big ego, resisting to change and refusing to corporate.

For the Eid open house preparation for example, LiL and I disagreed on many things; from our open house menu to what color should our curtains be. Disagreement can be generative or destructive depending on how it is done.
Instead of focusing on what is not agreeable, try to focus on exploring options by asking questions so that everyone can understand the implications of the idea. This will often lead to the person modifying his / her view, or opening up to other ideas.
Disagreeing is not a competition of who has a better idea! It is about generating - together - a better solution.

At work, everyone has ideas - people think they are paid for their ideas. If A says it should be blue, B somehow often feels compel to say it should be red. A will defend his blue idea. The two will argue. C can either agree with one of them, or come up with another idea - that it is black. C can also suggest a compromise of A and B's idea - making it grey. But that is compromising! And compromising is not generative! To be more effective, C should play mediator role - asking questions so that both can see each others idea from a different perspective. Asking question, "Have you considered......" or "What if we......" can make the other person less defensive and more receptive.
Try it....!

The children at my open house came together as strangers, but they left as friends. Argument is an effective way to get close and personal - if you follow the rule of treating others with respect and dignity!

I will end with a quotation which is also an advise....."Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument." - Voltaire.

Eid in Dubai...my take!

Pictures of children...they are the angels of our open house!

We hosted an open house on Day 3 of Eid

Ladies with anak2 yang comel-comel!

Some of the men! 1. Frantic rush. Most people were expecting Eidilfitri to be on Saturday. When Friday was
announced, huge number of people made frantic rush to supermarkets. LiL
and I included. And we knew we made the wrong choice of location to go
for shopping as the roads leading to Karama center were jam packed. We will be wiser next year for sure - In not leaving it to the eleventh hour and in choosing where to go for shopping.

2. EidilFitri prayer was held very early - in almost all mosques before 7am. Fortunately we were well advised.

3. Open house. The Malaysian community in Dubai celebrated the first day of Hari Raya in good communal spirit - starting with an open house held at the Malaysian Embassy in Abu Dhabi and numerous open houses held by individuals. Malaysian cuisines were in generous spread, and even Raya songs were in the air. Ours will be on Sunday 3rd Syawal.
Malaysians here really dressed for the occasion - in Baju Melayu, Kebaya and Kurung - celebrating the Hari Raya in true Malaysian style.

4. Duit raya. For better or worse, there aren't 'duit raya' tradition here amongst Malaysians. Children do not expect, and adults don't have to worry about them. Amongst the local community however, children are still given 'Eid's gift of money'. I know because one of my friend's son received AED1000 in an envelop given to him by a local Emirati he they were visiting. Lucky fellow!

5. Drop in guests. I really like drop in guests - those who just knock on your door without waiting for invitation. It is great! To me, true spirit of Hari Raya in villages are just like that. 'Open house' to the villagers are anytime, any day, to any one's house in the community. And the hosts will serve whatever they have. The highlight was to do 're-bonding' and 'forgiving and asking for forgiveness'. However, in Kuala Lumpur and other Malaysian cities - folks have reverted to 'open house by invitation' concept - practical of course but not quite as free-spirited.
6. SMS's played a big role in living the spirit of Raya. I too sent out SMS's and receiving them always brought smile to my face. Many are really nicely worded too. Like these few I received and quoted here

"sepuluh jari di susun rapi
dari ingatan turun ke hati
ampun maaf jua di pinta
di atas silap pada tutur dan kata
tingkah laku dan hati yg prasangka
..."

and the one below

"masak lemang sambil berdiri
hendak makan di aidilfitri
nak hantar kad raya posmen dah cuti
sms saja dpt ku beri
bukan lupa pada tradisi
cuma ikut teknologi terkini
yang ada di hujung jari
..."

and short and sweet below

"tangan di hulur maaf di pinta
semoga lebaran membawa bahagia"

and another one

"resepi rendang santan berlada
di masak untuk si pakcik ahmad
utara selatan atau di mana saja
semoga silaratulrahim tetap erat.."

and one from Along....:-)

"mak ayah! selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin dari Along yg tengah
pening..hehehehe"

Thank you to everyone who have sent me the many smss greetings....much appreciated!


7.Children were the happiest. Every open house I have been to - I saw, heard and experienced their happiness, joy and laughter. Eid without them wouldn't be the same. One thing about children, they got on well with each other fast and without any hang-ups. They were least concern about who own bigger toys or received higher pocket money. They simply wanted to make friends and shared a good time.

8. Conversation topics - Here in Dubai, hot conversation topics amongst males are: Traffic jam, Ridiculous High Cost of Living - especially house rentals, Children's schooling, More about traffic jam and progress of Metro-lines, Malaysian politics, Peremb@'s recent issue due to its business in Dubai.
I wonder what the ladies talked about. In true Middle Eastern style, most open houses have separate ladies and men's section. Ermm, not my preference......I don't see why amongst us Malaysians we can't mix more freely.

9. The caterers! Whose business is booming during Eid? The answer is = the caterers! Most of the open houses of the local Emiratis are on grand scales. The Arab hospitality is really demonstrated to the extreme during Eid.

.....have a safe Eid, drive safely!.....

Selamat Hari Raya EdilFitri...!

All of a sudden tonight I miss my other three children who are not with us here in Dubai.

I was planning for a Hari Raya open house, and I was overwhelmed with thoughts of them - in faraway land. This year will be the first time ever that we as a family will not be together during Hari Raya.
Tonight I understood how our parents must have felt when we were not with them to welcome the first of Syawal. ....

I wanted to know their plans.

Along and Achik will be driving to Melaka on Wednesday to spend Raya time with their Grandma ( My MIL ). Both LiL and I are happy in a way, that MIL will have them for company. Otherwise she will be alone unless my BIL returns from JB, which is unlikely given the nature of his job. Already, Along is buying some Raya cookies to bring back to his Grandma. He is also preparing his first ever Duit Raya to give away….my advise was, “Sikit pun tak per Along asalkan ihlas….ikut kemampuan sendiri lah”.Achik, will be bringing his course work along, for he will face an exams immediately after Raya.
Along and Achik is separated by three years, however in size they are equally bigger than me….and in personality they are also equally happy go lucky. Along reported during a phone call, “Kita present kat Achik baju Raya – dia siap tanya pulak, seluar tak de Along?”.It is heart warming to see and hear how these two get on and along very well…..more like good buddies than like competing siblings.

Angah, is as independent as a girl her age can be. I asked whether she wants to fly to Dubai for the Raya, and politely but confidently she said, “Ayah antar je la duit tiket tu biar Angah buat belanja tuition kat sini….lagi pun cuti sekejap jer Ayah”. Wise girl!In a way, I am less worried about Angah knowing that she has many friends there and also knowing that our friend the faraway doc is close by – These husband and wife Docs have been more like a foster family to Angah from the first day she arrived in Dublin. To both Doc D and Doc M, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To Along, Angah and Achik – Selamat Hari Raya! Enjoy ….Mak, ayah dan adik2 will always be thinking of you!
To all our friends and relatives out there




– SELAMAT HARI RAYA – MAAF ZAHIR BATIN !
Yang kurang itu kami....
Yang terkasar & tersalah itu saya....
Ampun Maaf jua saya pinta!

Selamat Hari Raya EdilFitri...!

All of a sudden tonight I miss my other three children who are not with us here in Dubai.

I was planning for a Hari Raya open house, and I was overwhelmed with thoughts of them - in faraway land. This year will be the first time ever that we as a family will not be together during Hari Raya.
Tonight I understood how our parents must have felt when we were not with them to welcome the first of Syawal. ....

I wanted to know their plans.

Along and Achik will be driving to Melaka on Wednesday to spend Raya time with their Grandma ( My MIL ). Both LiL and I are happy in a way, that MIL will have them for company. Otherwise she will be alone unless my BIL returns from JB, which is unlikely given the nature of his job. Already, Along is buying some Raya cookies to bring back to his Grandma. He is also preparing his first ever Duit Raya to give away….my advise was, “Sikit pun tak per Along asalkan ihlas….ikut kemampuan sendiri lah”.
Achik, will be bringing his course work along, for he will face an exams immediately after Raya.
Along and Achik is separated by three years, however in size they are equally bigger than me….and in personality they are also equally happy go lucky. Along reported during a phone call, “Kita present kat Achik baju Raya – dia siap tanya pulak, seluar tak de Along?”.
It is heart warming to see and hear how these two get on and along very well…..more like good buddies than like competing siblings.

Angah, is as independent as a girl her age can be. I asked whether she wants to fly to Dubai for the Raya, and politely but confidently she said, “Ayah antar je la duit tiket tu biar Angah buat belanja tuition kat sini….lagi pun cuti sekejap jer Ayah”. Wise girl!
In a way, I am less worried about Angah knowing that she has many friends there and also knowing that our friend the faraway doc is close by – These husband and wife Docs have been more like a foster family to Angah from the first day she arrived in Dublin. To both Doc D and Doc M, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To Along, Angah and Achik – Selamat Hari Raya! Enjoy ….Mak, ayah dan adik2 will always be thinking of you!

To all our friends and relatives out there

– SELAMAT HARI RAYA – MAAF ZAHIR BATIN !

Yang kurang itu kami....
Yang terkasar & tersalah itu saya....
Ampun Maaf jua saya pinta!

The Bus is here...

It was quite an occasion for me. It was an even bigger occasion for him. It was the first day he was to take the school bus. The night before, he was having a second thought. Then I took out his toy gun, and played with him shooting targets. With the most subtle of hints, I reminded him about his side of the deal - that he has agreed to take the school bus if I bought him a toy. He was perceptive enough to know and claim responsibility to honour his words.

"Will you be there tomorrow morning when I take the bus?" He asked.

"Of course....I will be there" I reassured him, and immediately set my alarm. The bus was to come at 6.45am and he was the second to be picked up.

Luqman worries about things generated only by his imagination. For instance, he was worried about what would he talk about with whoever kid who sits next to him.

"You know I don't like to talk early in the morning.....shall I pretend to sleep?" He asked, worried.

"You can listen to musics....that way you don't have to talk" suggested his brother Haziq.

"But I am not allowed to bring the MP4 to school" He retorted.

"You can talk little bit...at least to say good morning to your friend on the bus" I chipped in.

"Can I bring the MP4 ayah?" He asked, against his own instinct but hoping I would say yes.

And I said yes! Lil frowned, but gave in.....

So, that night we helped him to upload more songs into his MP4.

The morning arrived. I didn't sleep after the Fajr prayer and chose to wait for his bus to come. I was anxious about how he would react at the crucial moments. So, I was half ready in clothes decent enough to drive him to school just in case.....
LiL was more relaxed.
Luqman was quite chirpy....and was even willing to pose for pictures while waiting for the bus.



Then ....it happened!

Like a true man...he shook and kissed my hands, then strode confidently to the bus....put his best foot forward...and did not even look back. I waved him goodbye.....and he was gone. My youngest son.....is growing up faster than I myself is ready to let him go. But when he strode out as confidently as he was that morning, I knew I have little to worry about. Perhaps, LiL knew her son better for she was relaxed all the way.

The Bus is here...

It was quite an occasion for me. It was an even bigger occasion for him. It was the first day he was to take the school bus. The night before, he was having a second thought. Then I took out his toy gun, and played with him shooting targets. With the most subtle of hints, I reminded him about his side of the deal - that he has agreed to take the school bus if I bought him a toy. He was perceptive enough to know and claim responsibility to honour his words.

"Will you be there tomorrow morning when I take the bus?" He asked.

"Of course....I will be there" I reassured him, and immediately set my alarm. The bus was to come at 6.45am and he was the second to be picked up.

Luqman worries about things generated only by his imagination. For instance, he was worried about what would he talk about with whoever kid who sits next to him.

"You know I don't like to talk early in the morning.....shall I pretend to sleep?" He asked, worried.

"You can listen to musics....that way you don't have to talk" suggested his brother Haziq.

"But I am not allowed to bring the MP4 to school" He retorted.

"You can talk little bit...at least to say good morning to your friend on the bus" I chipped in.

"Can I bring the MP4 ayah?" He asked, against his own instinct but hoping I would say yes.

And I said yes! Lil frowned, but gave in.....

So, that night we helped him to upload more songs into his MP4.

The morning arrived. I didn't sleep after the Fajr prayer and chose to wait for his bus to come. I was anxious about how he would react at the crucial moments. So, I was half ready in clothes decent enough to drive him to school just in case.....
LiL was more relaxed.
Luqman was quite chirpy....and was even willing to pose for pictures while waiting for the bus.



Then ....it happened!

Like a true man...he shook and kissed my hands, then strode confidently to the bus....put his best foot forward...and did not even look back. I waved him goodbye.....and he was gone. My youngest son.....is growing up faster than I myself is ready to let him go. But when he strode out as confidently as he was that morning, I knew I have little to worry about. Perhaps, LiL knew her son better for she was relaxed all the way.

Greetings from Tehr@n

Dear All,

Salam and greetings from Tehr@n. This is my third day here, and I am missing home dearly. It has been a while since I traveled, which means that I have spent a lot of time lately in the company of loved ones. And to be away from them, especially during Ramadan is tough on me. This is despite great and gracious hospitality from my Ir@nian hosts here in Tehran.

The guest house where I stay does not have internet connections. The office time is mostly spent on the road travelling from one site to another - meeting people and getting to know the businesses here. It is now 8pm, and I am stealing time at the laptop while my colleagues indulge in conversations in Farsi. No I am not being rude at all.....it is a way of making them feel less guilty for making me feel left out from their conversation.

I appreciate all your wishes for our house warming. I wanted to reply, but oddly enough I could not open the comment box from here. I promise to post more pictures of the house after my return.

A few discoveries during these few days of fasting in Ir@n.
- Most of them are Shiah. They do not observe Teraweeh prayers.
- The Shiah do not rush to break fast at the first word of Adzan. Instead, they waited for the Adzan to be completed.
- For the last three days, I have been having Iftar at the office. Upon enquiring, I was told that almost everyone in Tehran break their fast in the office except for weekends. This is so different from us in Malaysia.
- The menu for the last three days have been the same, and I have had Iftar in two different offices. It is soup which they call "Sof", some kind of cereal porridge called"Halim", leaves of a few kinds, bread, white local cheese, and dates. Yes, no meat! So I was pleasantly surprise today when one of the dishes looked like meat - but alas, they were the feet of lambs. I just could not bring myself to eat them little footsies.

Business wise, the visit has been useful. I have been introduced to so many people in so many different businesses belonging to the group. Everyone have been warm and polite. I understood what have been spoken, I am trying to decipher what have been displayed through their body language, and I will continue to learn and understand what are not spoken.....and the ability to understand all three will be the key to my success in Iran.

On another matter, I despise the way the Columbia University rector welcome abused the President of Ir@n. No matter what - it is simply uncivilized for him to be rude to his guest, an elected President of a sovereign Country. And I am not even politically inclined one way or another....I am just respectful of human dignity and fair treatment.