Merdeka dan aku....

" dia ada ayah yang merdeka!"
suka tenguk Tun di beri penghormatan!
"demimu Malaysia!"
"Thank You Tunku!"

banyak lagi gambar-gambar dari galeri photo The Star - di sini!

"Ramai kan orang mak, nanti kalau Menteri datang mak angkat kita ye, kita nak tenguk dia". Idham tercungap-cungap di antara berjalan dan berlari dalam usaha untuk menyamai langkah ibunya. Jalan tanah merah menghala ke sekolah bertali arus dengan manusia bagaikan himpunan koloni semut merah mengangkat gula ke sarang. Ada yang bersuluhkan lampu, namun yang ramainya hanya berpandukan cahaya bulan yang seolah-olah bersama merayaikan. Idham cuba menghayati langkah pendekar yang berperang menentang penjajah, namun langkahnya kerap sumbang. Dia mampu tersenyum melihat gelagatnya sendiri, berlari anak dan berjalan pantas di pimpin ibu. Keramaian dan kemeriahan warga kampung Kemubu telah dirasai sejak pagi lagi apabila jeep jabatan penerangan Kelantan menghebahkan pengumumam 'Yang berhormat Wakil Rakyat' akan ke padang sekolah rendah di kampung itu malam nanti sempena menyambut ulang tahun kemerdekaan. Malaysia ketika itu sepuluh tahun merdeka. Bermakna Idham juga sudah sepuluh tahun usia.

Ibu Idham sendiri yang beriya-iya benar ingin membawa Idham ke perayaan kemerdekaan itu. Dan sejak selepas waktu zuhur sebaik Idham pulang dari belajar mengaji Al Qur'an ibu telah bercerita tentang erti kemerdekaan. Cerita ibu bercampur-campur antara kisah kekejaman Jepun, kemudian penjajahan Inggeris dan kemudiannya bagaiman Tunku dan pemimpin negara berjaya mengibarkan bendera negara yang merdeka. Ibu beraksikan laungan Merdeka dengan genggaman tangannya menumbuk udara. Idham mampu mengikuti dan sungguh megah dia ketika itu. Namun ada masanya wajah ibu serius. Di satu ketika, ibu bagaikan menahan airmatanya dari mengalir.

"Masa kita mula-mula merdeka tu mak baru bersalin kan kamu Idham. Umur kamu masa tu tak sampai pun seminggu. Arwah ayah ingin sangat pergi ke padang sekolah lama tu bersama orang ramai sama-sama menyambut hari pertama kemerdekaan. Tapi sebab dia tak mahu meninggalkan kamu, ayah tidak pergi. Siang malam dia asyek menatap wajah kamu saja. Katanya, dah lama dia menunggu anak lelaki." Ibu Idham menjadi hiba ketika mencerita tentang ayahnya. Namun dia menyambung......"Selepas itu itu setiap kali perayaan menyambut kemerdekaan, arwah ayah kamu tidak ketinggalan membawa kamu ke padang sekolah. Sehinggalah dia jatuh sakit.....dan pergi buat selamanya. Waktu itu kamu masih kecil ...."
Idham terkebil-kebil mendengar cerita tentang ayah yang dia sendiri hanya kenali melalui dua nesan yang kaku.
Pernah dia bertanya kepada ibu, "Mak, mak rasa ayah tahu ka kita datang ke kubur dia?"
Namun bila dia melihat yang ibunya sebak dengan pertanyan seperti itu, Idham tidak mengulangi lagi.

Setiba mereka ke pintu pagar kawasan sekolah yang baru saja di beri cat baru, keadaan sudah sesak. Kedengaran nyanyian lagu2 patriotik dari corong pembesar suara. Langkah kecil Idham semakin bersemangat ingin ke depan. Ibu hanya mengikut tarikan dari Idham, namun orang ramai yang berpusu-pusu menyukarkan pergerakan mereka.
Idham melonjak-lonjak ingin melihat apa yang berlaku di atas pentas. Hatinya begitu cemburu dengan rakan-rakan sebaya yang duduk di atas bahu bapa masing-masing bertepuk-tepuk dengan kegembiraan. Idham merenung ibunya, namun dia sendiri tahu jawapannya - tidak mungkin!.
Bagaikan mengerti keinginan Idham, seorang ibu melutut dan meminta anak kecilnya menaiki bahunya. Namun Idham cuma mampu mengeleng-ngeleng, sambil memeluk dan mencium pipi ibunya. Pipi yang telah pun di basahi airmata kecintaan seorang ibu. Airmata yang begitu ingin memberi kekuatan seorang ayah yang telah tiada kepada anak kecil nya.
Anak dan ibu berpelukan di dalam kesamaran malam. Idham berbisik, "Ibu jangan nangis bu.....Idham tak tenguk pun tak ape.....nanti Idham dah besar nanti Idham dapat datang tenguk lagi".

Malam ini, Malaysia menyambut ulang tahun kemerdekaan ke lima puluh. Malam ini, jauh di perantauan Idham terlonjak-lonjak ingin bersama merayakan. Malam ini jiwanya meronta ingin bersama, seperti janji nya kepada arwah ibunda. Malam ini dia mengingati betapa ayahnya dulu mementingkan untuk bersamanya dan ibu, dari menjejaki malam untuk ke perayaan. Malam ini, hatinya tersentuh mengingati arwah ibu tercinta....masih terasa kehangatan air mata yang membasahi pipi ibu empat puluh tahun lampau. Malam ini, dia juga tidak ke mana-mana - hanya dalam samar malam dari kamar yang sudah sepi, dia sujud mengingati kedua ibu dan ayah. Dia ingin bersama mereka. Malam ini......pipinya juga basah dengan air mata rindu dan kasih yang tak dapat di bayangkan dengan kata-kata. Inilah anugerah kemerdekaan untuk dirinya.....Inilah kemerdekaan yang dia sendiri rasakan, impian ibu dan ayahnya dari dulu......Doa dari seorang anak yang terus merindui......

Kemerdekaan itu milik dan anugerah kita untuk diri sendiri. Tiada siapa lagi yang boleh menjajah kita kecuali kita sendiri.....dan tiada siapa juga yang boleh memerdekaan kecuali dari hati yang sudah mengerti apa itu kemerdekaan untuk diri sendiri!

Tahun lepas, catitan aku mengenai Kemerdekaan ada di-sini! pun di tulis dalam bahasa melayu.

Relationship trivials...

Amongst friends, I am usually the one who calls, extend invitation, suggesting a meet and get together.....I find it hard to spend a day without connecting with other human beings, especially those who I find reciprocating my feelings towards them.
Often, when I called a friend, his or her first response is, "Oh ...hai....I was just thinking about you".
I often chuckled when I hear that, and my reply normally is, ".....yes, but I am the one who call...".

I do have many friends, both male and female, and a couple of the in-between. I tend to stay longer as friends and get closer to those who understand me - and accept me for who I am. But that is like saying I drink because I am thirsty - so obvious, isn't it. For example, when I noticed that a few so called friends did not even bother to wish me for my fiftieth birthday - and I went "Ermmmm....Naper ek?? ". At the same time, I do have long lost friends who have been silent for years suddenly surprised me with text messages or emails remembering that special day in my life. And I went smiling and it made me feel good!
Among other things, to me friendship is about making others feel good, appreciated and remembered. In a world of dogs eat dogs, we can do with a few true friends.

I have a few friends from childhood with whom nothing can come in between. Our relationship have stood the test of time and the test of dimes.
A few friendships nurtured along the life journey have also turned into special bonding and understanding. These are friendships not based on 'benefits'. These are friendship so special that we can start taking each other for granted, and nothing would matter.

At this phase of my life, I tend to reach out more and more to the same friends who have accepted gracefully, have given sincerely, have spoken truthfully, and have shared both moments of sorrows and joys.

My marriage to LiL is founded on friendship first, and love second. We were very close friends before we were lovers. She knew all of my faults, and I was her classic example of a man she did not wish to marry. Thus we were friends.....very good friends because she did not have to put a show for me and I for her. We were ourselves....She even tried to stitch me up with one of her best friends!
Now, I have been asked, "Tell me, how come LiL is so tolerant of your crazy behaviour?"
The answer is in friendship. None of my bahaviour come as a surprise anymore - she has seen all of the signs and traits before she fell in love. She accepted me for who I am. Our love is the love of a true friend who sees the need to support during moments of weakness and a love based on trust that no matter what, till death do us part. We take that part of our relationship for granted! Just like I took her arrival to Dubai this morning for granted.....and at 4am today she did!

You owe her a goodbye...!

Pre amble:
I was attending a meeting in Amsterdam. Actually it was a farewell party for me given by my ex-boss at Unilever. While on the trip, I met a lady who told me about her 'broken heart', when her boyfriend for over a decade just walked out on her. Upon my return, I wrote the entry below.

Dear Heart breaker,

I am writing this letter to you not because I know you, but because I know the person whose heart you have just broken. You left without explanation. You disappeared without goodbyes. That was not the way you started years ago....for then, you treated her like a princess. You showered her with kindness. You lifted her high. And now you dropped her shattering ....Why?

You may have found someone new. But, it is only expected that before you move on to the new....for you to end the old! A proper closure is as necessary as a proper beginning. Why do you leave it hanging. Why are you making her feel cheated and feel stupid. Do you realize that you are hurting her? Yes, she is the same person whom you have protected from being hurt by others for the past years.

Heart breaker,

Please do not make she to curse the day she surrendered her heart to you. Make yourself worthy of her love and the love you have shared with her. The love you once offered..Most importantly, I think you owe it to yourself, to have the guts to say why you are leaving, that you are having a change of heart..even minor..even slight..

What you have done to her, is similar to treating her like a toy on a shelf...for if this one does not work.. you dump, and pick up another. In case you have forgotten, you are no longer a child picking toys in a toy store. You are adults dealing with people's lives. Before you move...take a look at your past...Have the courage to say goodbye.

Do not make them feel small...do not make them feel blind...Before you move....heed these words from the wise.."love is blind but hate has eyes".

Dear Heart breaker,

As humans, we are not immune to a change of heart. When we do change, it is also best to be open and move on with our own lives. But there are ways on how to leave.

We are talking about your feeling and her feeling here. So involve her in a discussion. Give her an equal chance to plot out what is the best way to deal with the situation. How do both of you transcend from being people in love to being ordinary friends. As the saying goes, "Please have the balls".

Dear Heartbroken,

I apologise for not being able to stay longer listening and providing support to you during this difficult period. What you shared with me will remain private. I am posting here an open letter which may be useful to you and others with similar experience. For as long as there is love, there will be heartbreaking moments - the best we can do is to be better at handling those moments when they happen.

We grieve break-ups. Love is a beautiful thing - a feeling of being alive and appreciated. When love comes to an end, our happiness is destroyed. Our sense of security disappeared. We have to deal not only with the loss of our partners, but also the loss of ourselves. The former, is not within our control. But the later - ourselves - is within us not to lose. We may lose everything, but must never lose ourselves!

Accepting that it is over! To me that is a critical step. I personally found writing down on paper why the relationship has to end really helpful. Write down pluses and minuses of continuing, and soon we ourselves will realize that breaking up is the best thing for both parties. We may even be surprised why were so blinded before. Hopefully....that is the case with you too!

Be aware of natural emotional and intuitive reaction to blame ourselves as the cause, and to pursue in mending a broken relationship. Everyone requires help and support from friends at this stage. Have a heart to heart talk with trusted friends. Don't blame yourselves, and with acceptance that it is over, do not pursue. Find your own closure, if closure with the heart breaker is not possible. Bring yourself up a level - pause, and be aware of your own strengths. How special you are as a person. Focus on your great values and traits. Love yourself!

Forgiveness is a great healer! By forgiving ourselves, we can save our emotion from downward spiral of self-pity and self-sabotage. By forgiving ourselves, we can move on faster and quicker. And secondly, it is about forgiving him. This is second, because unless you have forgiven yourself, it is not possible to forgive him fully.

Forgive him, even if he does get to know about it. From personal experience, by forgiving a heavy load lifted. It is liberating!

On the reverse side to forgiveness, anger and vengeance are so potent in poisoning your own heart. Bitterness generates negative thoughts and actions. Stay positive, be forgiving!

I know that I am making all sound easy. No, it is not. Break-ups are not easy. And if your own effort and even with the help of your trusted friends do not help, then it is necessary to seek professional advise. We live this life only once - live it to your own plot and script, and not to the plot and script written for you by the heart breakers.

A few more practical tips :

- Get rid of any thing which reminds you of him. His ashtray, his favourite CDs, his aftershave, etc etc.

- Stay close to trusted friends and relatives with whom you can open up freely and who understand you.

- Stay close to God. His love and compassion are unconditional.

- If it works better, take vacation from work. But keep yourself busy. For some it is better to stay at work. Know what works best for you.

- Develop new rituals and routines that aren't dependent on the other person.

- Indulge for yourself. Treat yourself to SPA, hairdo, new pair of shoes, etc. Feel good about yourself.....Relaunch yourself! This is an opportunity to be a new you....

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread"

~Mother Teresa

More on approaching FIFTY..~!

Will my conscience sleep!

When you are away

will my conscience sleep

should I leave the door open

for cool breeze to soothe my feet.

While you are asleep

why am I awake

staring into darkness

finding solace in emptiness

shall I let my conscience floats

like foams on troubled water

blown by winds and dance with the waves

broken by the shore

does that even our scores?

Will my conscience sleeps

when I serenade out of tune

to the full moon outside

while you turn in your own bed

so what do we keep?

a promise?

or what we think is right?

or a reality which bites!

Tonight, like every other

i'm a traveler enveloped by summer

loneliness is my pillow

darkness hides my sorrow

and i curl here, alone

on my own

and you

on your own.

Again morning sun comes too soon

taking away the darker side of the moon

jolted by this break of day

I want to scream out my dream

but instead I whisper softly your name

for in my heart - I confess without shame

you are my conscience!

you keep me hanging on

when I am at the end of my rope

you tie me a knot

when I am on a slippery slope

you are my conscience......

you keep me going

you give me hope.

-idham, 26-08, room 829, crowne plaza, dubai.

When I was a young boy, I looked up to men of fifty with awe and fear. Awed for they somehow looked very wise, ones who had answers to every questions. Feared because they came across as stern, serious and unapproachable. The death of my father robbed me not only of a fatherly love but also of a father figure. I grew up envying my friends, and feeling sorry for my mother. I tried to help her with what little plot of rubber trees we had. I remember my early childhood as one filled with love but also with loneliness. I was feeling sorry for my mother each time I heard she cried in the darkness of the night. Each morning before Fajr prayer when I heard her reciting the Quran I felt hope and calmness. When I was a little boy, I wanted to be successful for her sake and for the sake of my sisters who had sacrificed their own schooling to make way for me. My mother could only afford one of us through school. Orphaned at a young age myself - I felt for the boys at the Darul Izzah.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be thirty. To me at the time, being thirty means happiness and fulfilment. I dreamt of having a family, having a good job, owning a house and having sufficient money to spend. Looking back, I was right only on having a family and owning a small house. The job was ok but I remember frustrations of having to do things which in my view were trivial and counter to my intuition. Financially I was constantly in the red at the end of every month. I used one credit card to pay for another, and was constantly digging holes to cover another holes of expenses. Life wasn't as sweet as what a teenager me dreamt of.

By mid thirty I have committed all the sins imaginable and had erred on many of my own decisions. Learnt from most of them I did, and as a result I had grown wiser and smarter in handling life's tribulation. By this time, I was able to say to most "I've been there, I've done that". Mentally I refused to grow older beyond mid thirty. A promotion into a directorship position brought along a new level of income which afforded us a bigger house and a luxury European made car. Life was fun at mid thirties....and I did not want to grow any older.

A combination of money, power and mid-life crisis made my decade of being forty a colourful phase. My marriage went on the rock - all my doings, and survived - all credit to LiL's enduring love. My career progressed into the international arena - moved from KL to Singapore then to the Middle East. I lost my dearest mother, and were blessed with our youngest son. I became financially independent - being an expat has a lot to do with it, but emotionally dependent - having lost my mother, I experienced a huge void in my life.

The forties were probably the most glorious years of my life. By this time, I have seen three quarter of the world having traveled to all of Asia, most of Europe and Africa, parts of North America.

Approaching fifty on 26-08, I wish for calmer waters for my ship to sail. I wish for good health, for wisdom to prevail in my decision and action. I wish for more time with my family. I wish to keep and nurture my existing friendship and not make new enemies. Life is a loan to us all, and I have almost paid off my interest and now reducing my principle. At fifty plus, I am an 'orang tua' but hopefully one whom young kids does not find too stern and too fearsome. For I hope they will see the child in me still wanting to play.....

To my own children, I will gently remind that as you grow into being young men and woman

and your mom and I grow older......the equation of love changes. Older people are more sensitive - so be more perceptive with us. We tend to be grumpy - bear with us. We may be forgetful and losing things - help us to remember. We may fall ill - nurse us with kindness. We may advise when you least want us to do so - pause before you shut us up.

We are your parents whose love never dies. All I am asking is for you to be our children whose love continue to grow with each passing day!

To LiL and my children,

Thank you for the birthday party you did for me in Kuala Lumpur. The gifts are wonderful...and I really appreciate your loving thoughts and gestures.

"Brief is Life, But Love is Long......" Quote from anon.

Fifty!

I am updating this entry with more pictures taken while in Amsterdam. This morning I have arrived in Dubai. Both my birthday and the Merdeka anniversary will be celebrated in Dubai.

Taxi......not a bad sight, pretty cool.....and behind are two policemen on horses.

More bikes.....One can rent a bike for euro1 per day.

Another landmark...and I actually went in for a cup of coffee...! Better ambience than the Genting casino.

Canal cruising ....a tourist attraction.

Budaya lepak pun ada di Amsterdam!

Alahai abang sorang nie....asyek tutup perut jer...hehehe....

Cycling is really happening is Amsterdam......everyone cycles!

Group picture with colleagues at the farewell in Amsterdam. The gentleman in white next to me is Mr F, an ex boss.

---------Below is an entry posted from Sheraton Hotel, Amsterdam -------------

For the last twenty four hours I have been trying to write an entry about the Independence day celebration. I wanted to write about Malaysia and about Malaysians - what progress the nation and her citizens have achieved. I wanted to share my emotion and reflection. There were so many stories I wanted to tell - including stories of my life. All fifty years of it.

I deleted more than a dozen beginnings - the words just did not come out right. I had logic clashing heads-on with emotions. Logically, I don't know what I want to celebrate. What do I tell my children that we are celebrating. Are we really independent when we have to live behind bars even in our own homes. We are filled with fear walking the streets. Are we really independent when it is not uncommon to find three generations in a family working to serve "Majikan" and financial loan providers.
Can we be truly proud as citizen of this independent country when we look up and admire towering office building and sky scrapping condominium - Looking up and admire are all we can do. I am told that more than fifty percent of those condominiums around the KLCC are owned by foreigners. Moan, moan , more moaning......Hey, we can find a thousand and one reasons to moan if we look at glass half-empty. Moaners can consider to join Namewee as his back-ground singers and moan moan moan somemore......!
Emotionally, I clenched my fists and punch the air with a cry of "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" every time I see that black and white re-screening of Tunku during the declaration of in year 1957. I could imagine how the hopes and optimisms of every Malaysian citizen in those days floated high in the Malaysian air space - when they saw the National Flags taken over the poles from those flags of the "Penjajah!".
I am ready to celebrate our 50th anniversary of independence and freedom from the Penjajah! Even when they tried to 'jajah' this dignified nation through the currency crisis in this modern day battles of might - we remained free and independent. Bravo bravo bravo to the leaders of the country......

For the last twenty four hours I have not been able to write any entry with substance about the Merdeka celebration. When I stop thinking and just let my mind roam freely across the nation like a Mid-night express train - I do realize there are plenty of reasons to celebrate. The country has progress leaps and bounds. Super modern infrastructure spider-webbed the nation, there are more than twenty Universities without even counting those run by private sectors, and we even produce our very own cars. During his years of tenureship, Tun Dr M has put Malaysia on the global map - that today, Malaysians can walk tall around the world. In her fifty years life, Malaysia has produced qualified and capable talents from renowned heart and brain surgents, scientists and innovators, and even conquerors of the Everest. Hey !, There are a lot of reasons to celebrate! Stop moaning and rejoice......*smiling ...............*

I wanted to write how I am touched by Merdeka advertisements sponsored by Petronas every time they come on air with those well thought of values. How I spent half a morning walking the streets of Mesjid Jameek and Kuala lumpur city center taking pictures of Malaysian flags on display. Never mind that most of them did not even follow the right decorum and procedures of flying the flags properly - in the spirit of the celebration it is heart warming to see Malaysians regardless of creed are all united behind one Flag, one Malaysia.

My ex-school mates, the whole batch of them are celebrating their 50th birthday this year - Anak2 Merdeka. Recently STAR joined forces with SDAR and STF in organizing a fiftieth year celebration dinner - Majlis Makan Malam Tiga serangkai. Unfortunately I did not attend. The creation of boarding schools was a product of a far-sighted vision of the then leadership of the country to provide excellent education to the rural and less elite group. A way of balancing the economical equation .......*applause.....from a beneficiary!*
Being fifty, the same age as the country triggers some serious pondering.....
"Who am I? What do I represent? Where am I going to? and what will I be leaving behind?" Come 31st August, I will be celebrating with my children and other Malaysians inDubai. A Malaysian Flag will be flying high on that day - from the highest point of my house.

Happy 50th birthday Malaysia! Happy 50th birthdays geng STAROBA, SDAR and Serikandi STF batch 1975! Mine will be on August 26th. Lil and my children have already celebrated my birthday in KL, knowing that I am traveling. Nice gesture, thank you!
I feel some sort of panic that I am turning fifty. Feeling inadequate in so many ways, especially in spiritual preparation for the life after. Anxious about my health. I am happy ( although not yet satisfied ) with what I have achieved in my career. I am extremely proud to see my children's development and progress. Most of all, I am grateful that I have a dearest and loving wife in LiL to accompany me growing old......

To God I pray that I will be free from sinful desires....be a better person during this second half of my life journey. My ship has set sail into the horizon........hopefully willingly and gracefully! Dear God, please contnue to provide me with calm waters and smooth winds, ameeeen!

Merdeka!
Merdeka!
Merdeka! there is only one Malaysia......together, we shape our destiny!








Today Aug 23rd 2007
is the thirteenth birthday
for Haziq!
Happy birthday son.....
and may all your
good wishes
come
true!

I am in Amsterdam....

I am in Amsterdam, on the invitation of my ex-boss to attend a farewell dinner with professional colleagues with whom I have had the privilege of working together for the last four years. Most have become close friends.

The company which I joined in 1997 went out of their way in saying goodbye. Since the announcement was made that I was leaving, I have had five farewells including this one. And one more to go....
If a good company is normally judged on how they welcome new people, a great company in my view is how they treat people who are staying and also leaving. And my bosses and colleagues in this company have left a lasting impression on me......

Farewell speeches were kept short and brief. My ex boss recognized me for my honesty, loyalty and dedication. Musics to my ears....but then again, most farewell speeches are like that. Funny isn't it that we reserve the good things we want to say until after people leave.

One of my colleagues known for his sense of humour said a lot of things, and got carried away with his jokes....he nearly lost the plot. Another colleague, H gave me a gift and a card written with these words: ( Thank you H! )

"Dear Dear friend, A token for the time we spent as colleagues, a pair of
candle stands:
- For light when you rhyme and write poetry
- For times
you think and philosophise
- For romantic dinners with your loved one
- For all the best wishes in the future
But most of all, for being yourself, in
your own way you are enlightening,
giving energy and direction for people to
follow, grow and develop"

I traveled close to twelve hours from Kuala Lumpur to be here for this last re-union with my colleagues and friends. Despite the jet lag I was feeling and having only arrived this morning, my excitement took over and I enjoyed the occasion very much indeed. Here I want to thank everyone for a splendid time together, for all the gifts and the encouraging words you have given me. Thanks!

My flight to Dubai is not until Thursday. An opportunity to be a tourist of Amsterdam - the city of the Tulips, Bicycles, canals and many more...I have been here before, but has always been on business travels which limited the opportunities of sight seeing. So, I do look forward to spend a day cruising the canals, walking the streets, and unfolding the mysteries of this beautiful city.

Hopefully I will be capturing some more nice pictures tomorrow which can be posted in this entry later on as a post-edit.

Congrats Angah.....!!

I woke up at 5am, excited and ready. It was Saturday Aug18th, the day of Zeti's convocation.
We left home dead on time as planned and arrived at the venue, the Putra Jaya convention center also dead on time. To those who have not been there, I can confidently vouch that the PICC is really a first class facility.

Zeti looked radiant and magnificent in the graduation robe. For the first time I saw her as a young lady...no longer my little girl. A lady who is ready to fly into the sky, to sail the ocean and to weather the storms and the ups and downs of life. When her name was called up the stage, I beamed with a silent pride and wiped my watery eyes, and due to that unexpected tripped of emotion I missed the opportunity to take her photo. Photography wise, fortunately she was called two more times to go up stage to receive awards as the Best student for her course and also for being on the Dean's list. I clicked away.....smiling, and whispering praises.
When the official ceremony was over, our celebration started. Hugs and kisses! More clicking away at the shutters of Zeti with her friends, lecturers and siblings. LiL was a proud mom, her smile beamed gloriously. MIL was equally thrilled .....One of the recognition accorded to her as a high achiever was to be invited for lunch with the VIPs and Parents were invited along. LiL and I enjoyed the recognition more than the food. Zeti obviously was happy that she has delivered her promise to us....."To do her best in her studies" In the excitement of the moments, I am glad that I remember to congrat LiL for it was her who has provided the support, encouragement and guidance to Zeti more than I.

One of Zeti's strength is her clarity in what she wants to achieve. Her interest in accountancy started when she was ten years old. She sets herself high standards and expectations. She was the best student for her course from year one until the final graduation. Something she take pride in....and of course so do we. She is self-motivated. As a person, Zeti is cool and happy go lucky. She gets on along very well with people. Although slightly on a shy side, she is confident of herself. She has strong views about things and has no hesitation in sticking to her beliefs even though it will mean she has to take drastic action. I wish her more success in her future.....

Bouquets of flowers to Zeti.....congrats!!
Tonight, Zeti will be leaving for Dublin. We will be missing her of course. We will also be cheering her on....encouraging her to spread her wings, and reach for the sky..."We all love you!" If there is one highlight of my vacation this time, this must be it! Seeing my little girl turning into a young and capable lady, one qualified to be an accountant and one who stay as sweet as she has always been.

At the same convocation, my eldest son Along also celebrated his friend's graduation - the friend was one of Zeti's classmates. Ada apa2 ka tu Along...hehehehe.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3KK3mLzvi8 <---this song is of MMU, the university attended by my eldest son A-long........the song is sang by one blogger I know ! Isn't she wonderful....!!

Darul Izzah - Thank you!

First, On behalf of my family and I, my sincere appreciation and thank you to everyone at the Darul Izzah for having us and spending a good part of Sunday 12th August with my fellow friends and families.
Second, I really appreciate the presence of my friends both those known via blog and my friends of old. PB & Family, Onde-Onde &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; family, Ibu & family, Fynne & daughter, Rad and Banji - many thanks!
Umie & Hubby, Hj Anwarul and Family, Tn Hj Syed, Hj Ali & family - your presence added significance to the occassion.
A special mention to Amy ( Anwarul's daughter ) for sportingly and ably taking the role of Master of Ceremory for the games, Tn Hj Syed for leading the Dzuhur prayers and the majlis Tahlil, Umie and Fynne for contributing kueh2, Wani Onde Onde for the secret recipe cake, RAD for compiling the tags and ibu for the Cola and other contributions.
Here I also want to THANK YOU all who have done the meme / tag so sportingly. Bloggers united! and for a good cause too......I am proud to be known as a blogger!

I went to Darul Izzah today to give love - and I received lots of love and happiness back in return. A smile like this one below is priceless!
Pictures below tells a story......a story written not by a pen on paper, but by smiles on faces.

Posing with bloggers. No names for the ladies to respect their request........... The gentleman at far right is Banji.
The Boys at the Darul Izzah meeting guests. And below a briefing by Amy on rules of the games....

Lunch, eaten in communal way - the nasi putih with sambal udang, fried chicken and mixed vege - taste even better when had together as one big family! I was seated next to a ten year old during lunch, and after some warming up ...he shared his story with me. His father died of cancer at a young age and his mother left him with his grandparents and dissappeared. He thinks his mother is still alive but he does not know where.....His ambition is to be a Doctor so that he can treat people who suffers from cancer. During school holidays he goes back to stay with his grandparents and visit his dad's grave. When we finished our lunch, he said all of a sudden, "Saya suka makan bersama pakcik....boleh kah pakcik datang lagi. Anak2 pakcik tu bertuah ada ayah macam pakcik....". I had to look away....hiding my teary eyes. With a tap on his shoulder, I could only say, "InsyAAllah....panjang umur kita dapat bertemu lagi". I do realize, to him it could have been any pakcik.....what he yearns for is to have an occassional meal and a decent talk with a father figure he misses so much. To have a conversation which showed interest in who he is, and how he is feeling.......When I was leaving, he came to the door and kissed my hand.

Last but not least, I want to say thank you to my organizing team below who has put in lots of love and passion into this project. I love you all.......

Also read here (Rad's )& here ( Banji's )& more picture here (UMie's) & Here ( OndeOnde's )

Important and urgent - Darul Izzah

Baru selesai minum pagi bersama GaB and JoKontan.....tetiba dapat satu panggilan dari Puan Raziah dari Darul Izzah.

"Encik Idham, kami minta maaf - pihak sekolah baru bagitau yang hari Sabtu besuk ada class ganti untuk the boys from Darul Izzah. Kami minta Encik Idham tunda ke hari Ahad boleh ka?"

Lantas hati terfikir kepada kawan2 blogger dan bukan blogger yang telah membuat rancangan untuk datang bersama. How inconvenient this change will be to everyone. Kemudian hati terfikir pula kepada anak2 yang harus pergi ke class gantian tadi. Memang lah the last minute change ini cukup merumitkan semua rancangan dan melibatkan ramai orang. Namun.......tidak ada pilihan!

So, it is with regret that I am announcing
"The visit to Darul Izzah di tukar kepada hari Ahad Aug12th, 2007".
Harap maklum dan maaf dari pihak pengurusan Darul Izzah dan juga saya sebagai penganjur di atas pertukaran last minit ini.

Banji, Syana, Onde onde, F, Umie, Marina, Lidya, Fiona, Mad Redo1, Dr R, RAD, dlt dan sesiapa yang planning nak datang tu, maaf dan harap maklum.
Mungkin juga ada yang dapat datang setelah hari tu telah di tukar, seperti Noha dan pB....yang baru jer confirm akan datang. Kepada sesiapa yang dapat bersama nanti, saya tunggu kedatangan semua!

There is only one Kelantan...

Tanam jagung di atas batas

Selasih ku cari...padi ku galas

Balik kampung hatiku puas

Kasih kau beri...budi tak terbalas

"Abe....abe cari gappo? Keropok ko? Sambal daging ko?"

The voice soft...and melodic. The smile enticing. Her charm nearly made me purchased what I did not really need. And her smile broke into a little laughter when I replied....

"Abe dok cari keropok....abe cari kakok ilae nie...".

I was in Pasar Khadijah in Kota Baru Kelantan. There is only one such scene, one such charm, and one such enterprising group of women in this wide world. Found LiL later on amongst the stalls selling clothes....below!

That was during a brief stop over from the Pengakalan Cepa airport to our kampung.

A real joy awaited us when we arrived to the welcome of my sisters, and nieces and nephews. Aunties and uncles came the next day......for the Kenduri Tahlil. I felt the warmth of kampung style love and caring.....a tradition of old which thankfully, has not faded. Their conversation was genuine, their interest deep, and their care was not for your wealth but for your health. I drifted into my comfort zones......with my kain pelikat, walked along the batas of the padi fields......went deep into the rubber plantation....enjoying the fresh air and captivated with rustic village beauty.

A bunch of banana.....

Above is Duku...and below is rambutan....

From preparing the goat's meat above to the gulai kawah below.....Only in Kelantan do I feel this way...."Adequate with little, Blissful with nothingness, and love so real!"