Lesen oh lesen...

Sudah tiga bulan Hajah Hajar mengikuti suami nya Haji Leman ke Dubai. Dia lebih di kenali sebagai Kak Hajah di kalangan rakan2, tetapi suaminya memanggil nya Mak Aji. Itu pun setelah musim panas bertukar kepada musim dingin, dan Haji Leman tak tahan menggigil keseorangan lagi seperti yang dia alami setahun yang lalu. Musim dingin tahun lalu merupakan tahun pertama Haji Leman berjauhan dari isteri dan anak2. Demi mencari rezki, dia tiba di Dubai dengan semangat berkobar-kobar. Pada mula nya memang lah dia happy. Tersenyum-senyum jer dia dengan kebebasan yang ada, senang ke sana ke sini, tanpa Mak Aji mengikuti. Jika dulu-dulu, Mak Aji selalu segan nak masuk Cafe seperti Starbuck dengan alasan, "Ish, kita dah tua la bang...balik rumah saya buatkan kopi bergelen2 tak semahal tu pun!" Di Dubai, Haji Leman, pantang melintas mesti masuk singgah meneguk kopi panas dan sehiris cheese cake!

Tetapi bila musim dingin tiba setahun yang lalu, Haji Leman betul2 rindukan Mak Ajinya. Pernah dia mengadu, "Mana tahan, asyik tidur berpelukkan bantal jer....sejuklah!"

Mendengar itu, Mak Aji senyum puas hati, "Eh rindu juga dia kat aku ye...lega~!"

Setelah tiga bulan, Mak Aji mula terasa bosan terkurung di rumah sementara menunggu suaminya pulang dari kerja.

"Bang Aji, saya boring lah asyek terperuk di rumah jer! Carikan lah pemandu bang!" di suatu malam Hajah Hajar membuka tajuk baru. Haji Leman tidak terus menjawap. Di dalam kepala nya mencongak-congak pelaburan yang perlu! "Beginilah, saya rasa awak ambil jer lesen memandu, lagi bebas awak nak kemana-mana!" Haji Leman, sebagai seorang akauntan memang cekap mencongak. Jumlah gaji pemandu 2500 Dirham sebulan, dan bukan senang nak cari pemandu yang boleh di percayai.

"Ala Bang Aji, kak Asiah tu tak yah pun ambil lesen memandu, dah tiga tahun dia di sini suami dia sediakan pemandu!" Kata Hajah Hajar sambil membuka sebiji lagi chestnut yang baru di bakar untuk Haji Leman. Dia tahu, abang Haji akan naik tahap tenaganya jika memakan chestnut bakar sebelum tidor. Taktik yang menjadi!

Darah mengalir deras dan panas di dalam urat saraf Haji Leman. Kesan chestnut naik ke kepala, turun ke dada, dan terus ke kaki dan segala tempat yang sewaktu dengannya. Bertenaga! Haji Leman menyambut chestnut, memasukkan ke dalam mulutnya, tersenyum dan berkata, "Suami Asiah tu tak sayang bini dia macam saya sayang awak. Saya tak suka la awak dalam kereta dengan lelaki lain, saya cemburu, sebab sayang!" Wah, Haji Leman seronok sungguh sebab mendapat idea untuk meyakinkan Hajah Hajar.

"Ye ka abang sayang saya!" Hajah Hajar merapatkan kerusi dan mengeyit mata kepada Haji Leman. Dia meleraikan rambutnya dari sanggul dan teringatkan lagu, "Take the ribbon from my hair...Let it fall and shake it loose...!"

Haji Leman panik. "Ah, tunggu la dulu. Badan saya masih panas ni!"

"Panas la best!" renget Hajah Hajar.

"Begitulah ceritanya bagaimana Haji Leman perdaya akak untuk mengambil lesen ni!!" Hajah Hajar menceritakan kepada Asiah dan rakan2 yang berkumpul untuk acara masak memasak. Cuma apa yang terjadi setelah mereka makan-makan chestnut itu tidak di ceritakan. Rakan2 Hajah Hajar cuba kontrol dari ketawa, tetapi tidak berjaya. Mereka tidak ketawa ber hahahaha, sebaliknya ketawa ber hihihihi, bagaikan mak dara ketawa secara sopan santun. Puan Zeta mengusik, "Ala Kak Hajah nanti minta la Abang Haji belikan BMW Z3 tu , berbaloi kak!" "Memang akak dah minta dah, kamu tahu apa abang haji kamu tu cakap," Hajah Hajar berhenti sekejap sambil memerhati wajah kawan2 nya, kemudian menyambung, "Dia kata, Mak Aji cari lah di airport sana banyak kereta yang orang tinggalkan. Dah jumpa nanti beritahu saya, kita pergi ambil ya!"

Hahahaha! Semua ketawa. Kali ini terlupa kontrol vogue. Hampir bersembur inti karipap dari mulut masing-masing.

Di Dubai, sebelum ambil lesen kena ambil lessons dulu. Sudah 60 jam dia belajar! Sudah 3 kali tests. Masih gagal. Padahal sudah 17 tahun dia memandu di Malaysia. "Saya gugup ni, next week ada driving test kali ke empat!!" kata Hajah Hajar kepada Azman, suami Asiah apabila secara kebetulan mereka bertemu di pasaraya Lulu di Al Barsha. Asiah terus mendampingi Hajah Hajar, sambil berkata, "Jangan risau kak Hajah. Kali ini jika gagal juga kami sign petition minta Haji Leman ambil pemandu dari Bollywood untuk akak!" Memang rakan-rakan Hajah Hajar tahu dia meminati filem Hindi! Azman bergurau, "Alaa Hajah, minta jer abang Haji jampi kan bagi kuat semangat!"

"Abang ni bergurau pulak. Azman memang macam tu kak, abaikan saja!" kata Asiah.

"Saya memang dari dulu nak ambil pemandu. Pemandu u all tu masih ok ka?" tanya Hajah Hajar.

"Oh dia sudah tak kerja, tercedera parah dari kemalangan! Rupa2nya dia menggunakan lesen terbang kak!!" jawap Asiah, kemudian dia menyambung, "Saya lagi suka tak ada pemandu. Kemana-mana pun ada personal chauffeur! Bukan setakat memandu..."

Tak sempat Asiah menghabiskan ayat, si Azman menyampuk, "....menolak troli, membayar di kaunter, dan membimbit barang2 ni nanti hah!"

"Tak per tu Azman...buat baik kepada isteri di waktu siang, ada balasan yang baik juga di malam nanti!" gurau dari Hajah Hajr pula.

"Eh, macam mana nak dapatkan lesen terbang tu?" tanya Hajah Hajar sebelum beredar.

"Tak de kak, dia memang ada lesen betul. Tapi satu hari tu dia bawa kereta punya lah laju, kereta tu terbang dan langgar pokok kurma di tepi jalan. Nasib baik bukan kereta kami masa tu!"

"Loorrrrr. Ingatkan macam di Malaysia, boleh kaotim!" kecewa jer nada suara Hajah Hajar.

"Akak, kaotim jer dengan Abang Haji tu...insist for the pemandu!" Asiah masukkan jarum lagi.

"Bagaimana?" tanya Hajah Hajar. Asiah menarik Hajah Hajah ke tepi aisle, jauh sedikit dari Azman. "Begini kak. Musim sejuk baru jer bermula. Akak cakap, jika tak der pemandu, akak nak pulang ke Malaysia! Mana tahan dia bersejuk sorang2 lagi!!"

"Nanti jika dia suruh akak pulang, putih mata lah akak!" jawap Hajah Hajar.

"Putih mata, kenapa kak?" tanya Asiah.

"Isk, Asiah ni macam la tak faham. Musim sejuk ni best bersama suami! Setiap malam makan chestnut bakar, panas-panas!" Tersipu-sipu Hajah. Asiah juga tersipu-sipu. "Ye ka! Saya pun nak cari chestnut juga la kak!"

"Eh, tak yah cari di supermarket lah....either you have it or you don't!"

Hahahaha! mereka kedua ketawa.

Azman terkebil-kebil. Dia tidak mendengar apa yang mereka bual kan.

"Guud luck untuk dapatkan lesen!" kata Azman sebelum mereka berpisah.

"Enjoy the chestnut kak, don't worry about the driving test tu!!!" Asiah menyelit!

"Jangan lupa beli chestnut tu, biar bertambah selera si Azman tu!" Hajah mengeyit mata.

Mereka bersalaman, 'hug and kiss' cara the Arab dan pergi dengan hala dan impian masing2.

Asiah menarik tangan Azman menuju ke arah sudut di mana chestnuts di jual!

"10 kilo please!" katanya kepada penjual!

If the shoes fit~!

If the shoes fit...
no matter what size are your feet
put them on!

Walk tall
with your head held high
even if you fall
just get up, don't sigh!

Step forward
take the path less traveled
take a step back once a while
to gain in the end by many miles!

If the shoes fit...
never be afraid to put them on
don't measure the size of your feet
measure how far is your horizon!

Walk up any slope
with your eyes on the peak afar
when you get to the top
gaze to the sky, aim for the stars!

Shoes that fit for you to wear
go as far as you can see
and when you finally get there
you will see further
what will be will be!

If the shoes fit...
treasure not of its leather
be amazed by its sole instead
and the distance it will cover!

I once thought my shoes were too big
for my little feet, they were misfits
I put them on anyway
and I have traveled to lands far away!

My sons, listen to me once more
before you sail beyond the shore
If the shoes feel right,
put them on
no time to regret
set your eyes on the horizon!

by Pp. Al Lith. Saudi Arabia.
17th.Jan.2010
(bcoz i love you all!)

"A captain's love..."

"This is your captain speaking. I have a special announcement and request to make. Today is my wife's birthday, but I am not able to be with her because I have to fly you to New York. If you would sing a happy birthday song for her, she will be very happy and I will be even happier! In return, I will make sure we will land safely in New York on schedule!"

No sooner after Captain Azim clicked off his PA microphone, the whole plane echoed with "Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday to captain's dearest...happy birthday to you~!"

Not known to the passengers on flight XX202 to New York was a beautiful lady seated in the Business Class seat number 12L who was blushing away. She eased herself into her seat, trying to make herself as small as she can be even though her heart has expanded like a balloon .

The singing subsided. A few passengers were seen giggling away at the little act of love. A young couple were seen kissing each other, withdrew, smiled and gazed longingly into each others eyes. Everyone had a warm good feeling...at the public display of love from their flight captain. Then, three cabin crew appeared from the front with a birthday cake, and approached row 12, and started to sing...'happy birthday to Mira...happy happy birthday to Miiiiiraaaaa'.
Spontaneously, the whole cabin cheered and clapped!
Mira, the birthday lady, and the dearest wife of the captain stood up, took a bow and whispered, 'Thank you everyone', and with the sweetest of smile, cut the cake. She took a pie, place it on the serving plate and gave it back to one of the crew members. "For the captain!" she said, audible enough for everyone to hear and once again cheered and applauded!

Four seats behind her was another lady, of slightly older disposition, and seemingly in deep thought. She has been watching the whole scene, silently. When the unexpected ceremony was over, she reclined her seat, pulled the blanket over her face and leaned on her right side facing the window. She started to cry a silent cry. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Exactly one year ago, on the same flight, it was her who had cut the cake. The birthday lady then was Lina, not Mira! And it was the same captain Azim who announced and made the request. The cake was different. While Mira got a strawberry cheese cake, hers was a chocolate cake! Captain Azim paid attention to details. And that was what made him so endearingly charming to his ladies.

Lina, or Marlina, was the one and only wife to Captain Azim for a good eleven years. A marriage so blissful and happy she would have never guessed that her husband was contemplating taking a second wife. When the news was broken to her by Zue, one of her girlfriends, that Azim has married a young stewardess from the same airline, she refused to believe. In fact she was angry and raised her voice in denial. She was almost screaming with the words, "Don't you dare repeat that again, not ever again!"
When Zue left, she slumped into her sofa, face in her hands, and sobbed. She somehow knew, deep within her heart, that Zue was telling the truth. She did what she had not done for a long time, she called Azim on his mobile. The phone rang but was left unanswered. Exactly the reason she hated calling Azim, he never answered his phone when on duty, overseas. His usual excuse, "Oh I did not see the caller ID, so I didn't know it was you!" Lina swallowed that excuse. In retaliation, after a few tries too many, she just quit calling. Mistake! Her mistake. That was exactly what Azim intended to happen.
She was left with no doubt at that point, that Azim has indeed re-married, and most probably was with his new wife and may even be making love to her. She cried even harder. Her whole body was shaking. When Azim returned 5 days later from a flight to Sao Paolo, she confronted him.
He didn't deny. He also didn't affirm. What he did actually hurt Lina even worse. He simply said, "I think it is time for us to go our separate ways!" Just like that. No 'if', no 'buts', simply his wish, and hers didn't exist.
They were divorced that day. She walked out that same day, with nothing but buckets of tears and a heart shattered to pieces.

That was only eight months ago, about 4 months after her thirty-fifth birthday.

She never recovered. She has lived a life obsessed with Azim and his new woman, Mira. She followed them, even joined their face-book friendship list, using an Indian male name she has created, Anil. Somehow, using all the alphabets of her own name made her feel real, and made her feel close to Arif. Pathetic! She realized that many times over.

It was when she discovered that Mira actually shared the same birthday as hers, that she decided to book a seat on the flight Azim was flying. Facebook has made it easy for her to follow his flight schedule, and their lovey dovey banters on FB even told Lina and the whole world that Mira was following him to New York! She actually paused to ponder over the risks of using facebook, so much information are displayed for the world to see! But on that occasion, she was thankful that such cyber thing existed! Anil, was stalking and no one cares! Perhaps the FBI was the only who noticed that Anil and Lina actually shared the same IP address.

One hour before landing, Lina buzzed for an attendant's service. One lanky Moroccan stewardess approached her. She passed a folded note in an envelop to the stewardess and requested her to pass that to the captain. The Moroccan looked at her quizzingly, and whispered, "For security reason we can only pass this to the captain after we have left the plane Ma'am!"
Lina wasn't aware of such rule. Nevertheless, her quick thinking made her proud of herself. She whispered back, "If you ask him first whether he wish to take a note from Haslina Mohd Ali from Malaysia, then if he knows me, I supposed you can pass the envelop please. I am his neighbour!"
"Yes ma'am" said the Moroccan and swayed all of her assets back towards the cockpit.
Lina smiled to herself and waited!

A few minutes later, the captain's voice came over the PA system. A few of the passengers laughed, a few others giggled loudly. But everyone burst into singing, and even louder than the first time.
"Twinkle twinkle little star...how i wonder what you are...twinkling twinkling up so high...like a diamond in the sky!"

Everyone then cheered and applauded enthusiastically. One by one the passengers in the business class came over to wish Lina "Happy birthday, you are a diamond in the sky today!"

The passenger in seat 12L remained seated.

A minute later the same Moroccan stewardess returned with a big smile on her face and carrying the same enveloped. Lina thanked her, and nervously opened to read a hand written message. It was his hand-writing. The little twist at the end of the letter 'L' in the word 'Lina' and 'Love' has been his trademark, and has been one of the things Lina remember dearly about him. She smiled, folded the paper and kept it inside her wallet. The message, although short, gave her palpitation of excitement. Her hand turned cold all of a sudden. She has been chasing his shadows to get his love back, and now that was happening, she didn't know how to handle. She re-opened the folded note, and read the message again. This time, she even spelt the words, one by one. It still says the same thing as she read the first time. There is "if" in his message. Why would he be able to love only "if" she would give him a second chance. Why would he not fight for her love.

"Welcome to the mile high birthday club. I still love you Lina, if you would give me a second chance. urs forever, A"

Lina started to feel in a way she has not felt for the last eleven years. She felt a tinge of confidence and indepence. It started with a little reassurance from a spot in her belly, and it spreaad fast to whole being. She got back herself! the way she had not got what she had lost for the last eight months. She got back herself. She smiled, this time from her heart and from the deeper side of her gut. Free at last! Yes, free from Azim. Free from a need to depend on love for her to feel happy. She realize how pathetic a person can be, and she was convinced then, it was Azim who was even more pathetic than she was. Her love for Azim was unconditional, and she was ready to chase the shadows of it. To reach and feel it . Not Azim. His love was a love of convenience. She didn't consider herself an item from a shelf at a convenient store. One which can be grabbed whenever it suits someone's fancy. Never! Not even for someone she love. She got back her dignity. Closure at last!

Lina's thought drifted back to Idham, her FB friend. A friend of Marlina and not of Anil. Idham has been asking, more like pleading, to have dinner with her. Their chance meeting at a seminar sparked the interest. A man in his late forties, single after the death of his wife seven years ago due to a road accident, and has never been in love since. That was what he has told her. "Time to check him out!" Lina smiled. This time a naughty and confident smile. A smile of someone who is back in charge of her own life.

The flight landed with a screech. She too had landed! Back on firm ground at last.

Dinner with the PM...

I attended a dinner with the PM, 3 Ministers, and 3 Chief Ministers in Jeddah tonight. The dinner organized by the Malaysian Business Council was well attended by Malaysian professionals and businessmen. The PM and his delegation are in Saudi at the invitation of the King, the Custodian of the two Holy Mosques.

In his speech, among other things he said:

1. The Saudi Government hold Malaysia and Malaysians in high regards, and especially rate the Jemaah Haji from Malaysia as the best! ***Kata saya: Memang kita tahu orang2 Malaysia di sini di hormati. Kita terkenal dengan budi bahasa dan nilai murni, dan tahap profesionalisma yang tinggi. Sedikit sebanyak, kesan dari TDM punya era dan aura, menaikkan nama Malaysia di sini***

2. Malaysia is the 13th biggest foreign investment in Saudi!

Malaysia have managed to narrow down the trade deficit, although it is still in favour of Saudi. When the Jizan economic city is fully developed, Malaysia will rank as the fourth largest investment.

***Kata saya: Bagus tu, dan semoga banyaklah peluang pekerjaan untuk rakyat Malaysia di Saudi ini. Juga, eloklah jika kita tidak abaikan domestic investment, supaya lebih ramai rakyat kita mendapat manafaat!***

3. Malaysia focuses on tourism, health tourism, education - in attracting Saudi money! ***kata saya: yes, saya setuju dengan sasaran itu. Kita harus juga go up scale, supaya kita boleh attract tourist yang dari kalangan berduit - bukan yang kedekut nak belanja duit. In health, we have to compete with Thailand and Singapore! Masih banyak yang harus di perbuat untuk berjaya***

4. The PM stresses his committment to further enhance relationship between the two government so that more opportunities will be opened up for Malaysians and Malaysian companies. ***Kata saya: Salute. Haruslah kita Malaysians juga memainkan peranan kita sebagai profesional di luar negara - menaikkan nama negara~!***

On the side, I was seated next to the Chief Minister of Malacca, Dato Seri Ali Rastam. He was his normal self, cordial and informal. The work and travel demands were taking their toll - he looked tired, but didn't stop him from having a good chat and showing interest in ideas thrown across the table. I suggested for the government to re-activate "Undi Pos". He nodded, but was silent.

maybe, nodding as a sign he heard me. I opened up a business venture idea for the state of Malacca - which to my delight, he took seriously. I was introduced to his General Manager of Invest.dot.Malacca.

Overall, it was a good evening. I think the PM has genuine interest to re-build Malaysia and definitely has the vision and the support of good advice. He spoke like a leader, he looks like a leader, and I am inclined to call upon Malaysians to give him the support he needs to bring back our fading glories.

Dato' Hishamudin was also present. He was jovial and confident in talking with people who came crowding him for photo shoot. Everyone was too polite to ask any sensitive political questions. TokPa was at the main table. I introduced myself, as "Ambo oghe kelate" and he replied endearingly , "Kawae kelate jugop!" I gave him my business card. I hope he will remember me, the next time I visited him at his Raya open house in Jeli!

PS: Dato' Zurai...Thank you for what you did! Both had my name in their note book, but I only managed to sit with Dato' Ali. Much appreciated. Pictures will follow.

PPS: Thank you and syabas the Malaysian Business Council, especially to Encik Kamel who extended the invitation to me, and SYABAS to Tuan Consul General Malaysia di Jeddah, Tuan Hidayat di atas satu lagi kejayaan merapatkan Malaysians with Malaysia!

I woke up this morning....

Darling,

I went out for dinner last night. I had Lebanese grill and juice delima. It was satisfying. I rushed home, to be with you. And I was thrilled to see you were online. But then, the line went down. It was from my side, I know because Amirul also was disconnected from whatever he was doing.

I woke up to the sound of your sms message coming in this morning. Not so sure I can live up to the expectation. I can try to be, but my balloon may burst, if I blow too much hot air into it. But then again, I know I have a tendency to discount my own ability. So, let us talk after the event....

The paintings you did when you were here are constant reminders of what I am missing. I started on two of them, and you finished them for me beautifully. For more than two decades now, you have been giving the finishing touch to my life.

I was in the shower this morning, when the radio was belting out King of Leon's 'Use somebody'.

"Someone like you and all you know and how you speak,

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you"

I sang along. Off beat, and off tune! I know you would remind me instantly of those deficiencies in my singing. But I also know, while others in the audience would turn and walk away, you have been and will stick around, applauding me. You even give me a feeling that you actually find my off-beat off-tune singing quite entertaining.

When I was toweling myself dry, the radio has moved on to other song but I was repeating the same lines from King of Leon. Then my voice faded, and came to a silent stop. I choked on the words, as I was listening to the silent sound of your laughter. I was expecting to hear your laughter, laughing at my singing, but it was not there.

That was when I called you, and sang!

You were surprised, I know.

I also know, you didn't for one moment believe it was the King of Leon on the phone, for you laughed instantly.

And that was all that matters. You have made my day, your way.

I miss your giggling small laugh.

As you know, I will be attending dinner function with the Prime Minister of Malaysia and other cabinet and chief Ministers this evening. I will do my best to make you proud. I will not complain about the rising sugar price, nor will I try to teach them to do their jobs. I know I would be offended if any of them were to teach me how to run my business, without first being in my shoes. I may just ask for one thing from the PM, that is for us Malaysians abroad to be allowed to vote by post again. As I am pondering on which shirt to wear and which neck-tie will match, I could not help but to hum the lyrics of 'Use somebody', and wish you were here....not to choose those for me, but simply to hug~! *sigh*

I miss you darling~!

urs, A.

There is a limit to ( FB ) friendship...

Last week I posted my dilemma on my Facebook (FB) status. "How do I delete 'unwanted friends' from my FB list?" It is a dilemma brought to surface after I realized that there are so many people on my lists whom I have no clue what so ever of their identities! To make it even worse, I noticed that they are also on my children's lists - and my childrens' have accepted their requests because I appear as their common friend. Huh, and the most acidic of all factors, I realized too that a few of them do not even display their real pictures, and have no pictures of real family members, or real friends. Alarm bell rings!!!

Twice, friends of mine sent me messages asking, "Pp, so and so requested to be on my FB and you are the only common friend. Do you know him/her?" The answer to both, "No, I do not know any of them!"

Wise of my friends to have asked. Not wise of me to have added without first checking their authenticity!

Why am I being so paranoid? There could be no valid reasons what so ever. However there are possibilities, no matter how remote, of someone with bad intention have ended up as 'friends' on FB and got to see my personal photos, those of my family members, know where I live and what I do on almost daily basis, and what time I go to sleep, and what I eat, etc etc. No, I would not mind sharing those private information with friends, and by friends I meant someone whom I know and whose identity I can trace.

I have thought enough, and I still hesitate about deleting! I care not to hurt people's feelings. I worry that I may offend someone with genuine good intentions. I fear that I may miss the fun of reading some of those funny status statements. So, I have not yet deleted anyone...such feeble heart I have!

I googled for help, looking for tips from others. I found this link quite enlightening.

After reading the article in the link above, I have gathered just enough gut, and have increased my rational in doing what I need to do. Friendship, has a limit....if the value of friendship is to be preserved.