This weekend - in Dubai!!

Activities organized by MyUAE-PRO!

1. A farewell!

Haji Wahid is moving to Seattle for his next career move with the Emirates Group. A small step for Emirates it may be but a giant leap for one more Malaysian professional who has been selected from many applicants for this expatriation opportunity. We are all proud of his achievement, and wish him many more successes in his future endevours.

Tonight a group of friends celebrated Wahid's progress up the corporate ladder and honour him and his family to a farewell dinner.

Von Voyage - Wahid!

2. A victory!

Yesterday Malaysians in UAE have a reason to feel jubilant. Our veteran football team won the Tri-Nation championship beating the Singapore team 4-3 in the final!! The Consul General of Malaysia to UAE, Syed Mohd Hasrin played pivotal roles in center half. He adorned the number 5 jersey which was once made famous by Santokh Singh. MyUAE-PRO secretary general, Saudara Hasnol scored a blazing goal from the right wing. Yours truly, also in full gear, was shouting instructions from the sideline - just as well that no one took any notice!

(More report about the game here)

In the open category, Malaysian team A was narrowly beaten into second place by Indonesia. The acting Ambassador H E Fadli played in the second Malaysian team and was solid in goal. He let in only a couple of goals, and each time it was due to the sun getting into his vision! hehehe....I made up the excuse lah, not him!! Playing for the same team, both Mr. Mustapha's sons scored a goal each.....and the father was seen jumping with excitement each time! Fudzail's eldest son also scored....and my son Adlil also played, but when the game turned to be too competitive he heeded my advise to stay as a full time reserve.

Luck was not with our under-twelve when a goal by Mohaimin ( anak bongsu Fudzail ) was equalized by the Singapore team just minutes away from the full time whistle in the final match. Malaysia under-twelve lost in the penalty shoot-out. Ghaz the team manager was more dissappointed than the players.

3. The Azmil!

The one and only Azmil of Ali Setan and Mechanic blockbusters was in Dubai! About fifty Malaysians gathered to listened to his real-life story of how he flipped from a movie director and actor to become a student of Islam and Arabic! His story gives hope to many others....for if we care to see, hear, and feel with our heart, then we will know that Heaven's door is always open for us. His struggles and sacrifices, touched me. .....and I was in awe of God's mercy and compassion. Subhanallah....!!

May Tuan Haji Azmil and his children find peace and receive Allah's blessings in their lives journey.....A journey which according to him, is still in its beginning.......

Read also here.

4. Dr Huda Harun Din!

This weekend, more Malaysians visited Dr Huda the eldest daughter of Dr Harun Din in the Afraq Hospital in Abu Dhabi. Reports from those who went have been encourging with news of Dr Huda have been responding positively to treatments and is getting better. InsyAAllah....she will recover strong enough to take a flight home soon. A close friend called me to share his experience meeting Ustaz Harun Din today - "Bukan senang nak jumpa Harun Din macam tadi! Jika di Malaysia people has to queue from mid-night to see him." He said. Yes, I wish I was there.....but due to work has to be satisfied with berkirim salam for the man who has been helping hundreds of thousands.....!!!

5. Yesterday Friday 3oth May - the temperature reached 45 degree Celcius!!! Panas....

(thank you Nik dan Halim for the pictures!)

Networking....

"A man with a bigger network, will have bigger networth!" I read the host as saying in an interview with one of the local newspaper.

Last night I had an opportunity to be at one of his dinner parties - where he gathered people of different background but with possibilities of finding similar interests and objectives weaved in the tapestry of their lives. The guest of honour was Tony Buzan, the creator of Mind-map. The host was the CEO of Right Select, Mr Gautam. Amongst the invited guests were professional trainers and business people, a few with their spouses. There were Arabs, British, South African, Indians and yours truly carrrying the sole Malaysian flag. A few of them I have met before but there were a few whom I met for the first time - including the guest of honour!

I learned how to use Mind-Map from reading Tony Buzan's books and have been using the technique for sometimes now. I have written HERE some background about Tony Buzan. To have met him in person was truly an honour.

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Malaysians in Dubai do social gathering and dinner get together - but more confined to familiar friends. We prefer to mingle with people we already know. Very seldom do we invite business associates and business stake-holders home for dinner. I don't remember doing too much of this when I was in Malaysia either. We are not trained, therefore not comfortable in organizing business networking get together. I think it is a weakness and without intending to, we are actually propagating this weakness to our children. In the future as it is today, business success will depend on relationships but the world will be less and less personal. Relationship will have to be developed between strangers from diversed background, not just confined to birds of the same feathers. Skills to network will be more important than skills to sell. In a competitive world, people will prefer to do business with people they already know. Referrals and testimonies will be more effective than marketing brochures on glossy papers.

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According to the host, his father had told him about the value of networking when he was attending college. The quotation he had used during the newspaper interviewe was an original quote from his father. In fact during the dinner, I saw how Mr Host Senior effortlessly moved from one individual to the next, joined one small group then the next one - all the time making everyone feel comfortable. He mediated and facilitated small talks. He connected business peoples. Mr Host Junior has been very well trained, for he too was smooth in extending existing conversation topics and always confident and ready to introduce new ones.

What are some of the differences between social networking dinner versus business networking dinner?

For business networking dinner, I find the following points as useful ingredients for success:

1. The list of guests - they vary and change with each occassion according to areas of professional and business interests.
2. The presence of a guest of honour provides an attraction for invited guests to attend. This incentive is important since mostly the invited guests are strangers and they need have a compelling reason to be there.
3. Business people and professionals who are invited have possibilities of finding common areas of interests where convesations can lead to deals.
4. A team of professional waiting staff - to free the hosts from the tasks of cooking and serving to play the role of hosts. Both husband and wife must play hosts!
5. To be effective - have finger foods served during a prolonged reception period. Most conversations happen pre-main course. After dinner, normally people would be thinking of leaving.
6. Invitation time from 7.30pm to 11 pm is most appropriate, with main course served two hours after the first arrival of guests.
7. As hosts, be aware of guests circulation and take steps to ensure movements so that everyone has a chance to be introduced to everyone else. Start off conversations - for you are the only one who know everyone there!
8. For training and exposure purposes, make sure your children are also there to greet all guests and have some conversations with them. The children may excuse themselves and leave after say half-an-hour.

Social networking dinner amongst friends - is more free and easy. We Malaysians are quite an expert in this area. Good formula for success here is to ensure plenty of food!! But must do more of business networking dinner as well - and I am not just talking about tupperware parties!!

If you have not met five new people related to your profession in the last one month, then you are not networking enough!! It is time you make special effort and be proactive in meeting potential new customers, new suppliers, new business partners, potential new bankers, even competitors.

Meeting Dato Ustaz Harun Din....

Yesterday, I had lunch with Nick at the Lamcy Plaza foodcourt. It was not meant to be an ordinary lunch. We spoke about 'buatan orang' or 'sihir' or black magic. Being both from Kelantan, we have been aware about 'sihir' from childhood. In Kelantan, the word 'kena buat' means 'have been charmed'. The most feared probably is Black magic from Thailand, thus the popular reference to "Bomoh Siam".

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When my late father vomitted blood during his sickness which led to his death, I was told he was charmed by 'bomoh siam'. At the age of ten I witnessed how an imam went searching for something under my house - until he came to one spot directly underneath my parent's sleeping place. "Dig!" he said and pointed to one spot. My uncle dug the place and yes, out came a bottle and inside were what appeared to be a long needle stuck to a cotton ball tied with yellow threads into a figure of a human.

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The above incident was my introduction to black magic. Of course at the age of ten, I vowed to revenge my father's death. I asked my sister if she knew who 'buat' our house. She told me to pray to God and ask for His protection instead of trying to find out who. I asked my late mother, "siapa yang buat tu mak?" And just like my sister, she told me to pray and doa to God - he said nothing and nobody has more power than God.

I grew to appreciate those early responces from both my sister and my mother - for I grew to be a forgiving man! And I never got to know who the culprit was and also lost interest to even care about him or her.

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Nick and I was talking about black magic, and he was sharing some of his own experiences when a text message came through my mobile phone. It was from Hasnol, "Ke Abu Dhabi - jumpa Harun Din - anak dia di serang sakit jantung di sana - mahu ikut?"

About the same time, Nick's phone buzzed with an incoming text message too. "My brother just told me about Harun Din's daughter in Abu Dhabi" Nick told me. Nick's brother lives in Bangi not far from Darul Shifa'. We looked at each other with disbelief at the coincidence....
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I hurried through lunch and a couple of phone calls later, I was on the way to Ibn Batuta to meet up with Hasnol, Affendy and Fudzail . We parked our cars there and hopped into Fudzail's 4x4 and he sped off to Hospital Mafraq in Abu Dhabi.

I was going to meet Dato Ustaz Harun Din for the first time, and I was quite nervous and apprehensive. But as soon as I saw him, all of my worries dissappeared. There standing with a white skull cap (ketayap) was a man with a very serene looking face, the light from which can light up any room. MasyAAllah !
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Ustaz Harun Din gave us a brief account of what had happened to his daughter Dr Huda during their flight from KL enroute to perform Umrah. She felt hot despite the plane airconditioning. Upon reaching Abu Dhabi she collapsed. She went through three heart attacks. We were taken to meet Dr Huda's husband in the ICU ward where Dr Huda was under respiratory support. More diagnosis were planned.

My prayers for Dr Huda's recovery and I pray for the best for Ustaz Dato' Harun Din and his family.....

A more detail capture of what happened from Hasnol HERE.

After having a meal at a nearby mamak restaurant, we sent Ustaz Harun Din to his hotel to rest. Dr Huda's husband returned to the hospital to camp out with his wife.

We made our way back to Dubai.....On the way back, I reflected how during the time we were with him - Ustaz Harun Din did not once uttered any words or showed signs of distress. It was apparent to me how Redha he was with what has happened. He was tired yes, but he was calm and I am sure in constant Zikir and Prayer - even when we were eating.

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I felt priviledged and honoured to have the opportunity sitting next to a man who has helped countless others and has tirelessly been spreading messages which glorify Allah, the Prophet and Islam.

This morning I woke up with something lingering on my mind. There is a question which is still left unanswered, from yesterday when I said goodbye to Nick at the Lamcy plaza!!

MyUAE-PRO : 2nd AJK meeting

*I met Ustaz Harun Din - written HERE*

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Dubai.

Saturday 24th, May 2008.

MyUAE-PRO AJK met for the second time. All actions from previous meeting were reviewed. Here below are ten points from my note.

1. Information portal : Will be completed by end June per schedule. Once ready, these information will be made available to registered members. The AJK is still considering options on the format in which these information will be presented. One idea discussed was to produce CDs with sponsors' messages - and given free to registered members. The final decision will be decided at the next meeting.
2. E-forum will be launched before end June at the latest, and registered members will have access to post comments, queries etc. This e-forum will have a more business like format if compared to the existing malaysian-uae yahoogroup.
3. Various small group meetings have taking place more actively since the inaugration of MyUAE-PRO. These Malaysians get together were part of activities encouraged by MyUAE-PRO to bring Malaysians closer together.
4. As part of the 'development' activity towards a more complete professional - there will be a session on spiritual development this Thursday night. Details will be announced soon in malaysian-uae yahoo group. The Penceramah Jemputan this time will be Saudara Azmil Mustapha - once a popular actor.
5. As part of 'social' activity - there will be a soccer tournament this coming Friday between Malaysian and Singapore teams. All are invited to come and support your favourite team. There will also be team T-shirts and Jerseys for sale, as part of fund collection to support future activities. During the half-time period, there will 'penalty kicks' open for spectators. Pay 10 dirham for three chances to score and win a prize!
6. A bowling tournament is also being organized in June! Watch out for more details!
7. MyUAE-PRO is fully endorsed by the Consul General and will be registered with the Consulate, and the AJK will also be making a presentation to the embassy in Abu Dhabi to seek consent for an official patronage.
8. The AJK spent significant time discussing details on organizing an important event to be held in two weeks time. More details after an official announcement from the CG's office.
9. On matters arising, a member of the AJK raised concern about 'camps' or 'puak-puak' which to his understanding appears to exist between Malaysians in Dubai. The meeting acknowledge existence of such impression and regret that in a small community of Malaysians in this farway place from home there are individuals who have taken divisive stands. Instead of being drawn into negative discussion, the AJK resolved to focus on MyUAE-PRO objectives: a) Provide relevant information and key directories b) Provide 'development' opportunities in areas of physical, social, spiritual and professional. (Refer above for specific activities which are coming soon) c) Sharing job opportunities amongst Malaysians. The AJK will focus on the above! MyUAE PRO's underlying aim is to unite!
10. Another concern raised by another AJK member were questions received by Malaysians about what are the benefits of registering as members? Answer: Members will be able to access to the information portal, participate in e-forums and be counted in important communication or updates concerning MyUAE-PRO. By registering, it will enable members to be reached effectively when there are important information and news to be communicated.

Best wishes to all Malaysian children who are facing exams currently!!

"Why aren't you playing?"

Last Friday, as usual my sons were getting ready for our weekly football game. Noticing I was not in my usual frenzy of excitement, LiL asked "Are you not playing football today?"

I replied, "I am going but I will not be playing."

Sensing that I was despondent, she wanted to know what was the reason for me not playing despite a tournament coming in a week's time.

"Why.....?" She was showing some concern, especially she knew how much I love being involved in such event.

I paused for a bit.

"Well.....I disqualify myself from the team. You see, non of my friends will ever tell me I am too old to be playing for the team. They are too polite for that. And I don't want them to bring an ambulance to the field just in case something happens to me!" I said..

She looked at me and replied with deliberately chosen words, "Well, wisdom prevails - and I am happy for you!" She extended her arm and rubbed my shoulder. "You will be forever young in my team!" She said softly. At that moment, I felt like I had a new spring in my knees and imagined myself scoring goals like Ronaldo and Lampard again. But alas, sore joints are harder to heal compared to a dented feeling of a sore loser!

Knowing how much I love to be involved, one of the team cordinators asked me to manage the under twelve team! That too, I have declined.

Being involved I will - and with full enthusiasm too - but from now on, it will be from the side-line, as a spectator!

My short answer to my wife is, "I will not be playing - I'd rather see Luqman taking my place!"

Bloggers united!

Twenty adults turned up for the bloggers meet - but I was the only who openly admitted to being an active blogger. The meet would have been more appropriately called - Meeting of new and old friends. Yes, I met a number of Malaysians for the first time last night.

No, we did not talk much about blogging. For a start, we chose a cafe which did not have WiFi services.

Why people blogs?

I researched the internet to find what peopleare saying why they blog and I found the following five reasons

1. As a way of documenting one's personal life - activities, events and emotional experiences. When illustrated with pictures, a personal blog is very effective in capturing memories and experiences. In my own blog, I do capture both special and mundane moments with my family.
2. As a forum to provide documentary and opinions - on topics ranging from hobbies to nation building agendas. Some poltical blogs are dedicated to this motive. In the recent Malaysian General election for example, it is now an agreed view that poltical blogs played key roles in influencing views or voters.
3. Some people blog to talk out and solve their own personal issues. In doing so, the authors may even choose to blog anonymously to ensure they can express themselves candidly. Listening to their own voices and also to comments from readers can help in healing process or in finding solutions to personal issues.
4. There are people who think and build on ideas by blogging. Blogs made archiving possible for future reference as well as a possibility of seeking readers views and feedbacks which can be helpful to further shape up a certain thesis or creative writing.
5. For many, they blog simply to fill in the time and be part of a community. Bloggers communities can be virtually supportive and some even transcend into real physical network as well.

I need to say, the above reasons are not mutually exclusive. I for example find some level of motivation from all five.

Blogging provides me with a avenue to go public with my writings which otherwise I would not have the confidence to do so. Some people blog to improve their English, therefore it is also universally accepted that grammar and literature used are acceptable as defined by the authors.
A blog should only be judged by quality of content, its purpose and how well that purpose is fulfilled by the blog. If it solves a purpose, if it inspires the readers towards a better understanding of the theme underlying the blog, it will be popular amongst readers.

If judged by quantity, I can be considered as an active blogger. I write almost everyday and maintain two blogs. The quality of my blogs can be judged only by my readers. One of my ex-bosses once said, "Ariffin is a great writer - but that does not mean he writes great stuff!" Hehehe! Yea rite!!!

Latest, this morning I received a text message from one of the attendees last night to inform me he has started a blog. It is brand new - and will find its contents and shape as he nurtures it to full bloom. I wish saudara Norhisamuddin lots of joy blogging!! You can offer him encouragement HERE. Din, thanks for all the photos too....
I am waiting for Imran / Zaida to start their own blog as well now.

If you want your blogs to be listed, please leave behind a comment with the url link. That is one way of reaching out to more readers.

Hey, Bloggers or not - I had fun last night. TQ all!

Bila suami keluar rumah....

you may also want to read.....
http://pakpayne.blogspot.com/2008/05/meeting-mat-sabu.html


What goes on inside a man's mind whenever he steps out of the door on the way to the airport for a business trip? As he takes that last glance to see his wife waving goodbye from the gate, what does he think about? And as the stewardess tries to settle him in his seat, does she notice a wedding ring on his finger or does she see a mark left by a ring which has been stowed away temporarily?

And, what goes on inside the mind of a wife left alone?

I know of a certain wife who feels lonely and insecure whenever her beau pulls his trolley bag out the door. Any out of ordinary action is viewed with suspicion. Why is he not in business suit as usual, but instead in Jeans and sneakers, and why is he changing to a different after-shave? Why doesn't he tell which hotel he will be staying, and why does he bring home fresh flowers the morning before he departs for his business trip? There have been far too many stories glorifying business trips and linking them to sordid affairs.

I know of a certain husband who feels lonely and insecure whenever he pulls his trolley bag out the door. He wonders why was his wife looking chirpy and her cheeks glowing as he waves goodbye? Would she be too lonely and seeks company outside of their house? And whenever he calls, why does she speak as if she has company? In the distance he hears the sound of flushing of a toilet. His heart misses a beat. Who is flushing the toilet if she is talking on the phone?

Do you know anyone who fits the above descriptions? - I do.

For people who has to do it regularly, travelling on business can be very mechanical, routine and a point-to-point thing. Home to airport-to-hotel-to meeting-to hotel-to airport-to-home! And yes, along the way - there are many distractions, attractions and temptations. There are things which are normally forbidden at home but widely available away from home. Of course, the saying that absence makes a heart grows fonder can be true too - the only thing is, the heart may grow fonder of something that is forbidden. The other saying tht grass always look greener on te other side - brings curiosity to try it out. And here, it works both way - for the one who is travelling and the one left behind!

Have you not been a witness to how your colleague transformed into a complete different personality during a business travel. This normally happens to people who rarely travel, and whenever that opportunity comes he behaves like he has just escaped from a life's imprisonment. As a malay saying goes, "Tak cukup tangan...semua dia mahu!"

I was once on a business trip to Manila with a friend. That was my tenth times and his first. As soon as we checked in, he knocked on my door. His curiousity about what goes on in Manila reached a point of no stopping. I obliged and agreed to take him out for a city tour. Just before we left the hotel he told me he needed to make a phone call to his wife. He moved away to the end of the hallway but from where I was, I could hear his side of the conversation. Below I illustrated what he said although not in verbatim, I captured the gist of his intention in making that call.

"Hello darling......"

"Yes, I have checked in.....and now it is raining cats and dogs"

"No...Pakpayne and I decided to just stay in the hotel and have dinner here. We have to sleep early because of early meeting tomorrow."

"I miss you already!"

"Bye....kiss boy for me."

And as soon as he said, bye bye to his wife, he punched the air, and said, "Yesss!! now we can go!"

Do you know anyone similar to the above character? - I do!

I also know of a friend who travels very frequently, until his wife became suspicious. She made it a point to send him off to the KLIA airport, and reassured herself that her husband was indeed travelling overseas for business. What she did not know was the husband never took the airport train to international departure, but instead has been taking flights to KB where he has another wife with a young child.

On the flip side, a close friend of mine was shocked when he returned home earlier than planned to find his wife fast asleep in the arms of his best friends - in their marital bed! Their marriage failed to withstand the test of separation. He has been faithful and not once fallen off track. She has found a perfect replacement to fill in the gaps. Tragic!

I know I am not being fair by painting only one side of the story - the black and gloomy side. Of course there are couples who live separately for months at a stretch and their love grew stronger! They got to know themselves better, and became closer to God - for His love fills any spaces available in their hearts.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....eluklah isteri yang ditinggalkan di temani olih muhrim jika anak2 sendiri masih kecil dan belum mengerti. Ada hikmahnya!

Bila suami keluar rumah.....eluklah suami tadi keluar dalam keadaan berbaik2 dan penuh kasih sayang. Cubalah elakkan dari meninggalkan rumah dalam keadaan marah-marah dan bermasam muka.

Bila suami keluar rumah....eluklah isteri menganggap dirinya dalam keadaan "iddah", kurangkan dari berhias atau bersosial.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....salinglah berhubung melalui telefon dan ucapkan kata-kata rindu.

Bila suami pulang dari merantau......isteri harus sambut lah dia dengan kegembiraan! Sediakan makan minum kegemarannya, dan berhiaslah diri se umpama itulah kali pertama bertemu! Lebih afdal, jika anak-anak di pastikan tidur awal...hehehehe

Suami yang pulang....harus membawa buah tangan tanda ingatan....dan se eluknya, bukan yang di beli dalam pesawat semasa penerbangan pulang! Berilah sedikit perhatian mengenai apa yang isteri suka dan berusaha mendapatkannya.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....Syaitan masuk bersama puak-puak mereka! Pagarilah diri dengan Solat dan AlQuran.

Suami yang merantau akan selalu mendapat bisikan dari para Syaitan juga.....waspadalah! Setidak-tidaknya, bentanglah sejadah di dalam bilik hotel penginapan.....percayalah, ianya akan menjauhkan maksiat dari memasuki ruang yang sama.

Pictures tell stories

Above: From Rusdi - Redza's photo being reviewed by the Pro, Mr Ali!

Nik was full of admiration!

Above: From Nik's lenses

Collage above by Halim, more at http://klikcrazy.blogspot.com/

Photography - is about snapping holiday pictures, print and keeping them inside photo albums. That is true for most of us. To a few, photography is a profession. They create stories from pictures and take pictures about stories. These people are the Pro's!

To a group of Malaysians in UAE, photography is a hobby. I am in this group. Armed with a DSLR each, we got together last Friday to benefit from a happy-clicking session under the guidance of a Pro, Mr. Ali. He provided good tips on making good pictures great - paying attention to composition, effect of lighting, and also training our eyes to spot that special angle.

Nice colour against a clear sky.
Mr. Ali the Pro!

Above: Getting the brief before going practical!

Above : FND in action !
Above: To get that special angle!



(Khas untuk Mr. Z & wife !)

senyuman mu

melambai kasih menyimpul rindu

bertaut dua hati tersimpul mati

kaulah suami, dan dia isteri

bagaikan memenuhi janji

kami menjadi saksi

detik detik

abadi!

more pictures from rusdi here.

Affendy captured some of the tips from the Pro very well and I am inclduing his Comment here.

FND said...
Oh ye, terlupa pesan Mr. Ali pagi tu. Dia kata kalau ambik potrait gambar yang tersenyum manis selalunya tidak bertahan lama. Imej wajah2 candid, serius, berduka selalunya lebih menarik perhatian. Beliau juga berpesan ada kalanya photographer harus memberi arahan dan pandai memainkan peranan utk mendapat shot potrait yg menarik. Sebagai contoh beliau menceritakan kaedah seorang photographer yang bertanyakan soalan kepada Enstein. Ketika genius itu sedang memikirkan jawapannya gambar diambil. Demikian juga ketika mengambil gambar kanak2. Harus pandai mendapatkan 'the emotion'. Dan hasilnya membedakan good photographer and photo snapper. Good potrait diambil ketika subjek dalam keadaan relax tambah beliau. Adakalanya dia berpura2 membetulkan kamera walhal, ketika itu dia sedang mengambil gambar ketika subjek tidak menyedarinya.
May 19, 2008 7:30 AM

Kisah Benar - Retak!

This is a true story.

Puan M ialah seorang rakan yang belum saya temui, namun sudah pernah berbicara soal hati. Setahun dulu dia ada meluahkan isi hati yang terbuku. Dengan izin beliau, saya ingin kongsikan isi pati ceritanya di sini, dengan harapan dapat juga mendengar pendapat pembaca. Nama2 dan identiti telah di tukar untuk menghormati mereka yang terlibat.

It was close to a year ago that rakan saya Puan M confided in me about her marital problems. She has been married to her husband Mr. B for fifteen years and blessed with two children. Puan M works part time giving English tution to form 4 and 5 students in the neighbourhood school. To others, their life and marriage look perfect! What others do not see is the bleeding in her heart and the tears which wet her pillow. What others do not know is that she has been married to a man with two personalities: jackyl & hyde in one body.

Her husband has been and still is a serial womaniser.

Mengikut kata Puan M, suami beliau mempunyai ramai teman wanita - kebanyakan dikenali melalui internet. Puan M sendiri banyak kali terbaca emails di antara Mr B dengan kekasih2 gelap beliau. Surat2 cinta itu kebanyakannya berunsur seksual - di mana Mr B menceritakan fantasi beliau terhadap wanita2 tadi. Pertama kali mambaca surat sedemikian, dia menggigil . Ada pula bukti yang suami telah pernah 'bersama' mereka. Hatinya remuk. Manakan tidak, suami tersayang memanggil wanita lain dengan panggilan manja, "sayang", "honey", "darling" dan berbagai lagi. Bila makin bertambah2 surat2 dan ada pula nama2 baru, datang pula rasa marah! Manakan tidak, dia merasai telah di tipu dan di perbodohkan oleh suami yang pandai bersendiwara sebagai seorang Finance Manager yang di hormati.

Perbualan di YM di antara aku dan Puan M banyak berkisar kepada apakah tindakan yang harus diambilnya. Dia masih sayangkan suami. Suami pula tidak merasa bersalah dengan kelakuan beliau itu, malah Mr B telah menyalahkan Puan M. Mengikut Mr B, beliau kerap bosan dengan perangai isteri yang dianggapnya sebagai cemburu dan cuba mengongkong. Setelah di desak olih Puan M mengenai surat2 cinta yang berterusan, Mr B telah memberi kata dua kepada Puan M, "Jika you tak suka dengan perangai I, you boleh keluar tinggal kan I. I will not change!".

Aku tidak banyak memberi nasihat, cuma lebih kepada mendengar dan menyuarakan soalan. Jauh di sudut hati aku, ingin sekali membantu supaya rumah tangga mereka aman damai dan di penuhi dengan kasih sayang. Then we lost touch - mainly because she went silent.

However today I saw her online.

Aku bertanya, "How r u?"

She replied, "I am fine.....more than fine."

Anggapan aku masaalah lama sudah berahir agaknya. "How is ur situation at home?" Tanya aku.

"I have made up my mind" She said.

"Like how ....if I may know"

"I am leaving him!".

I was speechless. She went on to explain what has been happening since the last time we spoke about a year ago. Her husband has gone from bad to worse. Non repentence and cold-heartedly has reminded her of the option to leave. She still love her husband, but has lost her affection towards him. She told me if she has a full time job with sufficient income to support her life with her children she would have walked out long time ago. Life has became that unbearable. He has stopped to cover up his acts of infidelity or hide evidences of his flirtation. I only managed to say, "errmmm", "ooooohhh", and a few other grunts and groans. I wished I could offer better answers to help her. But I did not have any....

As if to say, what she is going through also happens to other couples, I told her that just like many marriages, mine too has gone through rocky patches. Sedangkan lidah lagikan tergigit, inikan pula suami isteri. Soal hati - memang sukar di mengerti. But, this is not about my story - this is about Puan M. I feel for her, and pray for her happiness. The sad thing is, even I began to believe that she will be happier without her husband. I feel for her two children, of whom one is facing the UPSR exams this year. So I asked her .....please give it one more try! Both children, she told me, love their daddy to bits. They will be devastated with any separation. Thus her second dillema; When she will finally walk out of her marriage, should she tell the truth to their children or should she cover up the reasons of their split?

I am wishing for what is best for her and her children. I am hoping that Mr B, whom is still very much loved by his wife and children despite everything, to be able to find peace at home and to find all the love he needs from people who truely loves him.

Surprise them!

Latest : Please read the latest surprise which has my head all wrapped-up here!
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I have an answer for stress - watch here and relax!! In watching the video I found the element of surprise was the best part of its entertainment. There is something magical about giving more than what the audience expected! This is true in entertainment, and also true in any form of relationship.I would like to illustrate with a few mundane examples.

• Extra ordinary service at the Green City restaurent! : I go to the Green City Restaurent very often for lunch. In week, I normally go there three to four times. One reason is its proximity to my office, another is its delicious foods. Try its Roti Canai with beef fry, and you will agree with me on taste. But what I like best is the customer service I receive there. For a few weeks, I was fooled to think that the head waiter Salam was giving me special service with his personalised attention. He pre-empted what I wanted based on my previous visits, and that gesture really won me over. I later noticed he does that with every customer. He made an ordinary customer feels so special by making his ordinary job extra-ordinary - he gives more than what his customer expects. This testimonial comes free and as my recognition to the restaurent for giving me satisfying lunch everytime! I googled for green city restaurent - no record appeared! Not anymore....after this entry, if someone were to search for south Indian restaurent in Karama area, they will get Green City restaurent on the page. It would be nice to get a free lunch one of these days ! hehehe
• I answered to an advertisement placed by Mr. CYC in Malaysian-uae yahoogroups and purchased his computer table and chair. He surprised me by giving the table lamp as well - FOC! That element of surprise left a lasting good feeling. Thanks CYC.
• I was lazing around one afternoon, reading old newspaper when my dear wife asked me to drive her to the mini-market in the neighbourhood. I wanted to say no.....but the way she smiled while asking me for that favour made me got up and reached for the car key. It was 41 degree simmering hot, so I decided to wait for her in the car while she hopped in to get a few items from the mini-market. Ten minutes later, she returned to the car - settled in her seat and gave me a cup of my favourite franchised ice-cream. "Your Reward" she said. Her surprise token of appreciation energised me for the rest of the day!
• I asked my secretary to print a huge pdf file of e-book. She handed to me the print-out binded and with colored dividers between chapters. Now, that was a WOW!! Of course I did not let that go without praising her generously.

In all of the above examples, it would have been perfectly normal and ok if Salam just delivers my food to my table and leaves me alone or for my wife to hop out and hop into the car with nothing! I would not have complained. It would have been totally accetable for CYC to give me only the table and chair which I paid for, and for my secretary to punch holes and handed to me the print out in a folder without binding or the dividers!
But I remember those incidents because all of them have surprised me with the extra-ordinary! The beauty of a surprise is - it does not have to be grand! But it has to be sincere and given or done from the heart.

Have you surprised someone lately??

We are not perfect, so...

**Gambar2 Bekwoh ada di sini! **

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We are not perfect, so....

Last Wednesday night, I was on Yahoo Messenger with three lady bloggers.

One was in KL. One in Arizona USA. One from Dubai.

An idea to write an article from the same topic was thrown into the discussion.

We agreed on two topics to choose from, "He/She/We/It/life.......is not perfect, so......."

and,

"A celebrity I admire."

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Below is mine.....!!!

Picture courtesy of http://rusdimas.blogspot.com/

We are not perfect, so.....
God created LiL and I with imperfections so that we were 'perfect' for each other!
Since the day we first met, we knew we were not perfect so....

As young adults, we have decided to make up for each other's imperfection. Lil has always been cool and calm, she is the sail and I am the roaring winds, unpredictable and excitable. She spends only what is really needed while I spend to feel needed! She eats to live, and I live to eat. She is a candle in my life....and I have been the gushing winds which sometimes puts the flames off but most time help spread the fire!

She knew from the first time I knocked on her rented flat in Portsmouth, with a red rose in my hand that I was not perfect. The rose was plucked from a neighbour's garden, and I came asking if she had any hot food to share! But let me in she did, and she even offered me a mug of tea and some freshly baked banana cake. She told me later, she took pity after looking how hungry I looked. After I littered my wrinkled shirt and her sofa with crumbs from her cake, she knew that I had more than just a few flaws. A few times while walking to the College's library and I tilted the umbrella we were sharing more towards my side, she reminded me, "You are an example of a man I will not marry."
She went to the library to study, while I was there to be in her company. Such were our imperfections!

Until I approached her to be my friend, she didn't even give me second glance. I was insignificant in her orderly and peaceful life. She told me during one of our rows, that her life was perfect until I came along. Yeaaa riteee!! *rolls eyes* But she understood me well and has given me many a 'second chance'.

During college days, she preferred to stay in her room reading Mills and Boons, roasting chestnuts on the electrical heater, while my energy was overflowing to get up and go!

We are not perfect, so we try harder!
She cooks the meals I like, and I like the meals she cooks.
She laughs at my silly jokes, and I tell silly jokes to make her laugh.
She curses me everytime I fart in her company, and I purposely save my loudest farts until I am in her company. She has her fair shares of imperfection ....hehehe....but they are only meant me. For the world, she is indeed my perfect darling!

She knew long time ago, when we used to jog along the Southsea coastal lanes, that I actually found her imperfection as sweetly chaming.

We are not perfect, so....

We have never expected perfection from our loved ones and from our friends. All our children know they only have to try their best in studies, for we do not expect perfect marks. None of them are perfect sportsmen, but we are happy when they enjoy sports. They are not perfect students, but everyone are trying their best - that is what matters!. And they too realize they have imperfect parents - for their father would happily talk about the birds and the bees with them without flinching an eye-lid. Their mom allows them to eat chocolate in bed and to spend hours on the internet. Such imperfections run in our household, sometimes we are on the verge of chaos!

We are not perfect, so ....

we derive great pleasure from being able to laugh at ourselves!

And yes, we are happy for perfect people to live their perfect lives....so long they don't impose on us to be as perfect as they.

Driving in UAE - Getting a License!!

Have you passed the test? If you have, oh what a joy....you have every right to feel elated!

Here is an account of a survivor!

"U r lucky u only had to try 3 times, I tried since Aug 2007 & after the 6th test baru pass. Yg sakit hatinya 1st test examiner tu kata "U drive very well" tapi dia bagi fail sebab last2 during the test dia suruh 60 degree parking n the car, even though dalam kotak parking was not centre enuff!!!! 4th test examiner kata "Causing hazard" sebab bila ONCE right turn position kereta not in the centre of the lane!!! (walaupun still dalam lane)... 5th test examiner kata "Causing hazard" sebab man standing by the road size & I didn't honk!!!!! U want to reason with this people also very hard & most of the time I got examiner yg English dia tak fasih....... ......... ...

Well after much sakit hati & trials & tribulations, Alhamdulillah I finally passed last Thursday. And I am equally elated.. True, memang tak terkata seronoknya bila dia kata pass!!!!!!!! ! Memang bersyukur sesangat.... ."

( sourced from here)

Taking a Driving License in Dubai (for a Malaysian)
Even if you have a valid license in Malaysia - you must start from step 1 all the way until you are tested and pass! It may take 5 months!

Steps
1. Get an eye test done either at an optician or at your driving school.
2. The school will handle all paper-work with RTA who may even have a counter at the school.
3. Receive your temporary driving licence, which you must carry in your training car.
4. Once you have passed all internal tests like garage and parking, your school will apply for your signal test followed by your road test.


Signal Test
On the date assigned, go with your passport, driving file+ 2 photos to RTA License Section as advised by your driving school. Fill up application form & submit AED 35. When your name is called out, go to the computer booth and identify the traffic signals. (In case you are not computer literate, you can opt for the manual test). Collect the pass print-out with your road test date (if you fail, pay the test-fee & you will be given another new test time and date) and submit to your driving school.


Road Test
On the date assigned, go with your passport, driving file+ 2 photos to the RTA License Section as advised by your driving school. Fill up application form & submit AED 35 for road test. When your name is called out, go along with the other three candidates and the RTA inspector to the designated car. You will be given just a few minutes to demonstrate your driving and anticipatory skills.


If you pass ( and it is a BIG IF), collect the approval paper from your inspector and go to the Pass Counter. Submit along with suitable ID & AED 100. Collect your test file and submit to Control Counter. After processing, pay required fee and proceed to photo area. When your name is called out, have your photo taken. Congratulations. In a few minutes, you will receive your DL and be eligible to drive in Dubai and the UAE.
Do keep in mind that Dubai has a zero-tolerance policy on drinking and driving. Plainclothesmen travel about in unmarked vehicles and can legally stop you at any time to check. Dubai eGovernment recommends that you buckle up your seatbelt and drive safely at all times.


Authorized Driving Schools
Al Ahli Driving School-04-3411500 (8 branches)
Belhasa Driving School - 04-3243535 (18 branches)
Dubai Driving Centre- 04-3455855 (13 branches)
Emirates Driving Institute-04-2631100 (35 branches)
Galadari Driving School-04-2676166 (8 branches)


The countries from which citizens can transfer are given below:
Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium, Canada, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Japan, South Korea, Kuwait, Luxembourg, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Oman, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, United Kingdom, United States.


If you are a Malaysian who has lived in anyone of the above countries, you still need to take lessons and test because you are not a citizen of the country. It is not which country's licence that counts, it is your passport that counts.


And, it is normal for anyone to FAIL at least twice! And if you are lucky from the day you register for a lesson until the day you will get a license - it may take 5 months and AED3 to 5k.
Good luck is all I can say.


Renew your car registration in Dubai
Last updated: March 2008
CriteriaYou need to renew your car registration once every year. If you have purchased a new vehicle, the dealer will handle all formalities for the first year. From the second year onwards, you will have to renew your car registration.
Documents Required:
1. Insurance policy
2. Old registration card
3. “Passed” car test certificate


Procedure:
1. Settle the payment of fines (if found); you can check and pay any fine at the Dubai Police website.
2. Go to Dubai Traffic Department or to ( Tasjeel Eppco, Emarat Shamil or Belhasa's Wasel to have the car tested
3. Pay the fees
4. Wait for your registration card (valid for one year)
5. Take a sticker with the new registration expiry date and place it over the old one (on the rear number plate)


Fees• Car test Dhs 50• Registration Dhs 370


Dubai.ae tips:• New vehicles are exempted from test for 2 consecutive years.• If you have been involved in an accident in another emirate and got a ticket, you have to pay the fine at that emirate.• Some companies will do all procedures for an additional fee, including collecting and returning the vehicle to you. You can also check with your insurance company, since many have introduced a free/paid service.
EPPCO Tasjeel 800 4258Shamil 8004559Wasel Car Testing 043245524
For more information, visit RTA website. Or call RTA's toll free number on 8009090.


Related Topics
Driving license in Dubai
Foreign driving license conversion for Dubai roads
Used car registration in Dubai
Moving around in Dubai

BEKWOH di Dubai!

latest: pls read about the actual bekwoh with pictures HERE.

"Ado seko anok tupa....atah jula moktae! Kudong eko perot lapa....jalae cari makae!"

Mendayu-dayu irama dikir barat dari ruang tamu aku. Nostalgia ke kampung halaman tahap maksima. Lebih2 lagi besuk, aku akan bertemu begitu ramai saing2 dari Kelantan. *saing = kawan*.

Besuk ada bekwoh gu kelate di Dubai!!!

Invitation = checked! To-date 45 people have confirmed coming.
Menu = checked! So far we have nasi dagae, gulai kawah, kuzi kambing, sup tulang, bingka ubi kayu, lompat tikam, laksam.
Shopping list = checked! Pembeli juga telah di kenal pasti!
Jong Kako = checked! *jong kako = tukang masak lelaki*
Peta ke tempat bekwoh = done and distributed. *Bekwoh = kenduri. The word is a kelantan dialect word which may have originated from the words Big Work!*

Tomorrow, kami anak2 Kelate di Dubai akan bekwoh gulai kawoh! *kawoh = kawah atau kuali besar*
Pagi2 esok jong kako akan start buat tuku untuk memasak gulai dengan kayu api. Kami dah sepakat, jong kako akan pakai semuta (lihat gambar) *semuta = lilit kepala selalunya dengan kain batik lepas. Very practical untuk menahan dari peluh mengalir turun dan kain semuta boleh di guna kan untuk pelbagai tujuan, contohnya - buat basahan bila mahu mandi, mengelap peluh di badan, sembunyikan kapak kecil di semuta!*.

Bekwoh as a tradition is slowly dissapearing. In its true form, bekwoh is always done as a 'gotong royong' activity, and is a majlis untuk meraya'i atau bersyukur. Selalunya bila ada jemputan ke 'bekwoh' kita akan tanya, "siapa nak kawin?" atau, "Bekwoh gappo?" *kenduri untuk apa?* Begitulah lazimnya. Namun, sekarang ni sudah semakin cenderung kepada catering services lah jika ada kenduri kendara. Maklumlah, semua dah sibuk. Sebab itulah, untuk kami gu kelate - besuk adalah satu pertemuan yang sungguh nostalgic!

Bekwoh dan gulai kawoh sudah menjadi sinonim. Selalunya, tukang masak ialah orang lelaki - Jong Kako dan orang perempuan di dapur sebagai Jong Dapo untuk mengidae *Mengidae = serving the food dengan memasukkan ke dalam pinggan dan mangkuk sebelum di angkat ke ruang makan*

Jika ada lagi orang kelate di Dubai yang baru saja mengetahui mengenai bekwoh ni setelah membaca blog ini, sila telepon saya - 050 4570447. Dan jemputlah ke rumah esok deh! *deh= di gunakan untuk mencari persetujuan*

More about this bekwoh with pictures after tomorrow!