Azizi's Do'a - part 1

 The morning sun kissed his cheek. Azizi squinted his eyes to look at the screen of his Blackberry Torch. No, he was not checking the time. Instead he was looking for any missed calls or messages. He sat up, stretched his arms and moved them in circular motion to loosen his frozen shoulders. He forced himself out of bed and walked into the bathroom to make Wudu' for Fajr prayer. 

"Better late than never!" That has been his motto. If there is any principle that  Azizi has managed to lived religiously by, it must be this one. He has been habitually late for his Fajr prayer.

In his doa after the prayer, he uttered doa for his mother and father, both have been dead for a while, followed by doa for his wife. He continued to ask for God's blessings and forgiveness, and for  success in his life and rewards of paradise in after life. Then he paused, and he went from quite whispers to complete silent. This part of the doa has been his most intimate moment with God for the last five years, three years after he married Aida. It has also been his deepest regret, and biggest hope. 

Picture from google image!

Azizi realized his faith in God was sometimes shaken, which made him shudder with fear each time. He knew he was a good man who had to protect himself against his own tendency to self-sabotage. A good man prone to sometimes be bad!

"Why God doesn't accept my Doa?" He grumbled to Isa one morning.

Isa, a work colleague who by nature a quiet character, did not normally like to indulge in small talk. However, that morning he moved his gaze from his PC screen to face Azizi.

"Azizi, the more you pressure God and become impatient, the more God will ignore your doa!" Said Isa.

Azizi retorted, "What do you know about doa?"

Isa pushed his chair closed to Azizi and spoke softly, "You may think that it doesn’t really matter where and when or how you make your Do'a as long as you are sincere and ask for good things. The way I look at it is, we must do our best to achieve what we are asking for. Part of doing our best is praying in the best way that we know as told to us by the prophet (SAW). Of course I'm not a scholar so everyone should do what they think is right."

With that, Isa moved back to his desk and continued with his work. Aziz got up from his chair, and before he walked out, he tapped Isa's shoulder and said, "Thanks Isa!"

That morning Azizi left his office and went looking for Haji Nasir, his childhood friend, also an Imam of the Kampung Cendana's Mosque.

He arrived at Hj Nasir's house about an hour before Zuhur. The last time they met was also when Azizi came seeking Hj Nasir's advise. That time Azizi's wife Aida refused to entertain his advances. It went on for more than two months of marital life without intimacy, too long for Azizi to endure.

"You have to be patient, and treat her with kindness. At the same time, you must lead her!" That was Hj Nasir's advise before going to to explain how to lead a wife using Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh). 

"Before you can expect your wife to be a good wife, you must be a good husband yourself!" Said Haji Nasir, then he added, "There is nothing better for a Muslim than to live by the Sunnah and the teaching of the Al Quran!"

Azizi listened and made mental notes. He actually bought a few books related to Hadith, Sunnah and the subject of being a good husband. Reading led to knowing, but knowing what were supposed to be done, he soon found out, was not the same as doing them. It took two to tango, and in their case, Aida just wasn't interested!

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was full of praise for virtuous and chaste women. He said:

"The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman. He once told the future khalif, 'Umar: "Shall I not inform you about the best treasure a man can hoard? It is a virtuous wife who pleases him whenever he looks towards her, and who guards herself when he is absent from her."

During that meeting, Haji Nasir also cited a sentence from the Quran, 

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them - except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good. (4:19)

This time, he wanted more than advice, he wanted to learn from Hj Nasir. 

They hugged, shook hand, and hugged again. Then Hj Nasir invited him to seat on the garden chair located by a Koi pond. The morning sun was filtered by a row of betel leaf plants which obviously have been planted to form a natural shade for the garden.

"Ramadan Mubarrak!" Said Hj Nasir  breaking the ice. 

"To you too Haji. Actually I need help!" Said Azizi straight to the point. A character he has developed after working in an American company for ten years. Although he has often got into trouble due to his directness when dealing with ordinary Malaysians, he did not seem to care to change.

"InshaAllah, if ana can help...." Said Haji nasir before he was abruptly interrupted by Azizi.

"I want to learn how to say doa so that God will grant my doa!" 

Haji Nasir leaned back. He took a deep breath, played with his beard, and simply looked at Azizi. His face pensive. 

(....besok lah pulak sambung...dah mengantuk!)