We are doing just fine~!

It has been three weeks since we moved in the new house, living outside of the compound. So far so good. All the teething problems have been resolved. Alhamdullilah.

Having a second car for the use of the family and a private driver, have given the much needed freedom of movement for Aishah and my boys.

Two of my boys are in IB course~!

Haziq is in the final semester of IB year 1.

Tonight I was asked by Haziq (16, and our fifth child),  to fill up an assessment form - with a few pointed questions about my perspective of Haziq's interests, achievements outside of school environment, and his areas of strengths. Fortunately he didn't give me a time limit, like most tests do. Otherwise I might have failed!  :-)

I have taken 'knowing' him for granted. Afterall, how could I not know, he is my son. Well, Pp, think again!

"Nok gi kuano tuh!" (Where are u heading to?"

"Nok gi kuano tuh?" ("Where are you heading to?")
Whether out of concern or curiousity, the question is asked nine out ten times when a villager meets another while on the move in our little village back then when I was a child.
It is a way of acknowledging the presence of the other person. And it is a way information networking works in a village in time of no mobile or house phones. Later on when someone else were to ask, "Ado nampok Pp ko?" ("Have you seen Pp?") Then the answer is readily available! When there is a need to locate Pp due to an urgent situation, Pp can be traced through this informal information networking. So a casual "Nok gi kuano tuh?" is always taken seriously and will always receive a considered reply.

At home tonight, all our bags are packed and we are ready to go! Eight Passports and Eight Air tickets are safely tucked into LiL's handbag. Pp and family are going somewhere. Neighbours have been informed of our absence so that they can keep an eye on our property. Local community watch men have updated so that they can be alerted by any extraordinary activities around our house. The timer for the auto water sprinklers have been set so that our lawn and plants will continue to survive. The fridge has been rid of items expiring while we are away. And, not to forget, waste bins have been emptied! To avoid stale smell when we returns, we are leaving the upper floor bathroom windows partially ajar and their doors opened to enable air to flow through the house.

"Nok gi kuano tuh?" our English neighbour asked when I asked him to collect and keep daily newspapers from our garage. Of course in his language but the meaning remains the same. It is a socially acceptable thing to do to show some concern and even some curiousity. Not asking can be construed as not caring.

"Demo kato demo nok gi kuano?" ("Where did you say you were going again?") asked my friends who came over for lunch at our house today. It was a great feeling to spend time with friends one day before our travel, all of them and including a long lost friend from STAR whom I met by chance at a dinner reception the night before. Yes, Dr Rosli Azad Khan with his family and friends came over too, and it was a pleasure to have them.

The answer my friends is, "We are going to Istanbul for a family vacation and we will be leaving in the wee hours tomorrow morning. And lucky us, a friend even volunteered to drive us to the airport!"

Selamat Hari Raya Eidul Adha to all our relatives in Malaysia, and all our friends wherever you may be! To people who are performing their Haj ~ May you be rewarded with Haj Mabrur and may all of your prayers be answered!

God bless!

We are going to Istanbul....

Luqman was overwhelmed with the two plates of brownie and icecreams!!

Luqman was seen having a go on a super bike at the game arcade!

As planned, the family got together for a TGiF dinner last Saturday to discuss and choose 'Vacation Destination'. Everyone did their homework of researching the destinations assigned to them. Children's involvement in planning for vacation is part of tradition for the family. In fact, we have involved our children in most major decisions affecting them - including decision to relocate, choosing a house, choosing schools, etc.

It was a decision early in our parenthood - that we decided to practice a few family values.
One of them is 'participative decision making'. We encourage our children to gather information, be able to discuss their views openly, and be able to accept the final decision and support it wholeheartedly. As part of their development, they have learned to be tolerant of others views and accept rejection without taking it personally. Both tolerance and acceptance require practice and coaching. As parents, LiL and I encouraged use of logic and civil arguments based on facts rather than winning an argument by raising one's voice or relying on aggressive behaviors.

This time around, the topic was 'vacation destination'! By involving them early, we have created the buzz and excitement about the vacation well before the departure date. This in itself provides a good conversation subject. And I believe, that a family needs to have good conversation subjects which bind members of the family together.

Shared plates of starters, main courses, and two plates of brownie with ice creams later - we have agreed on Istanbul as our December vacation destination. It was a close choice between Masai Mara Safari and Istanbul. We decided a better time to visit Masai Mara will be between July to September when the Wilder beast makes their annual migration!!

The ball is now in my court - to book airline tickets!

"Summer Bachelor's first day!"

The one hour waiting time at the check-in counter was a joy killer. A few times I was on the verge of shouting to the counter staff - but each time I turned to face my wife and she calmed me down. At one point she said, "Abang...your face look like you are ready to punch an elephant!" That was when the supervisor, a malay man came to me with both his hands held together to his chest gesturing apologies.

That little episode aside, I bid farewell to LiL and our three boys at the airport last night. They are now safely back home for a summer vacation. Today, I called her every one hour until I received an sms with a goodnight greeting. Eleven phone calls!!!

I wanted to know how was her flight, what did she eat, did she manage to sleep? I asked about their transit in Karachi, and how did the three boys cope with flying economy for the first time? Apparently, Luqman had asked "why we can't change the movie channels?" hahaha. I don't blame him - for all of his long haul travels until last night have been on business class. Well, previously our flights have been paid by my previous employer. This time, the new employer has given us the equivalent budget for business class travels but we have chosen to travel economy and save the difference to pay for the higher petrol price and other increased expenses while back home in Malaysia - negara Barang Naik! tercinta!!

"Back to basics! That will be good for him...otherwise he will be more spoilt!" LiL reasoned with me. Ermmm, with the situation in Malaysia nowadays, I think it is wise to prepare my children for hardship! So, back to basics is not a bad thing!!.

She is only gone for a day, and already I am missing her. The house is too quiet without Luqman! Coming home was without the usual cheek kisses, and the usual voices from upstairs responding to my salam! In fact, this morning when I slept again after the Fajr prayer, LiL was not home to wake me up for work. I overslept, and arrived in the office at 11am!

"I have dinner date tonight!" I called her after work while driving.

"Wow...so fast you get a date already? With who?" She laughed, but I know she was curious. Truthfully, I wanted to make her jealous.

"With a pakistani!" I said, avoiding to divulge more than necessary details.

But she knew my game! Hardly five minutes passed after the phone call, Adi called me, "Ayah dinner kat mana....?"

"Oh...Dinner kat restoren near Lamcy" I told him, then asked, "where are you?"

"I am on the way to Lamcy...nak beli kasut! Maybe I will drop by to say hello!" cakap Adi.

Coincidence?? Or was there a 'talian hayat' going on between mother and son??! Hehehe.

My date and I got to the restaurent at maghrib prayer time. We prayed together with other diners who arrived early. After prayer, I mentioned to my Pakistani friend Danish that my son was in the neighborhood.

"Why don't you call him to join us for dinner....."

Tonight, father and son had dinner together, treated to a Pakistani cuisine by a friend who wanted to cheer me up upon learning that I was feeling the blues of "summer bachelorhood".

Thank you Danish! ....And Congratulations on the arrival of your second daughter!

Summer time - Bujang time!

Last night I was surprised by a question from LiL, “Is it true that men are happy when their families left them alone during the summer?”

I was driving, and the children at the back seats stopped their own chatter and went silent, awaiting my response. We left a friend's house about 11.30pm, having gone there directly after the YDP Agung’s birthday celebration. Ten other friends also converged there – having second round of Nasi Lemak dan Lontong brought back from the event.

click the logo to read about the YDP Agung event!

We spoke about topics men talk about. Nooooo!! Not sex. And Noooo!! Not football either. We did not talk about sex, serious! But we spoke about politics and its impact on individual rakyat and the future of our next generations. Serious topic! Different views were exchanged, and whenever the conversation got a bit too hot – one or two injected some humor. Serious, there were no sexy jokes either! The jokes were mainly about politicians and their broken promises.

One thing about my new found circle of friends which I find clinical is that they don’t talk about girls, or women or sex. Sometimes I wonder if it is because they think I will be offended – in which case, I want to reassure them I am a normal man. Other times, I wonder if they think I am too old to talk about girls or sex or topics yang sewaktu dengan nya. If that is the case I want to tell them, I am still young at heart!

I tried to prolong the silence. LiL kept looking at me urging for an answer. My children at the back seats have gone one stage further – they were pretending to be asleep.
So I resorted to the best trick I have up my sleeve. I answered her question with a question. “Why do you ask?” I glanced into the rear view mirror and I could see Luqman straining his ears wanting to make sure he did not miss anything.
“I noticed your ‘bujang’ friends were looking very happy just now!” She said.
Oh, so that was the reason. And I recalled that a couple of our ‘bujang’ friends actually arrived late and came in looking very cool in black T-shirt and even were wearing socks. Those two who normally go around with sandals were actually wearing leather shoes too. We were teasing them the whole evening, “Wah….pakai stoking….ada event dengan dayang-dayang istana pulak ka?”

Earlier at the YDP Agung's event both Lil and I overheard a group of men talking about their joy of being ‘free’ for a couple of months. One said, “Aku dah bujang, anak dan bini aku dah balek!! Semua pun dah boleh!” The other was heard saying, “Bini aku tak nak balek la pulak. Jenuih aku sughuih dah!” Noooo, I don’t know them. I think they were probably from Abu Dhabi or maybe from one of those effluent neighborhoods in Dubai. From their dialect I also guessed they were Oghang utagha la tu kut naa!

“Kenapa pulak men should be happy when they are left alone?” LiL persisted.
“I really don’t know la. I know I will miss you and the kids when you leave!” I said while overtaking a lorry. We were already passing the Global Village, only ten minutes before we reach home.
“Betul ka tu?” She asked, but she was smiling.
“Betul la…. kenapa la pulak nak curiga nya!” I squeezed her hand.
At the instant all three at the back seats said almost at the same time, “Betul ka tu ayah!”

Hahahaha…..macam ada konspirasi la pulak!

“Betul!!!” I said. My little laughter at the end of my responce made LiL glanced at me sharply.

Her last word as I parked the car in our garage, "Jangan nak over-over nanti bila I tak der!"

A few of my 'bujang' friends are coming to our home tonight to watch the Netherland / Russia semi final game live. LiL will be preparing 'Teh Tarik' dan keropok goreng. She may even join us watching the game. To my 'bujang' friends, "Better conceal a little of your 'happiness' guys!"

You may even talk about how lonely it can get to be left alone.

*wink!*

I am home.....sweet home!

I came home two days ahead of schedule, and I was welcomed home by Luqman who came running to the door....

"Ayahhhh.....welcome home! I thought you come back next week - I will miss you too much!" Luqman came hugging with a little broken English - but nothing else about the candid expression of his feeling was broken!

I have not subscribed to roaming facilities for my mobile number and internet connection was not available at those places I went to. I have been out of touch with everyone including LiL.

When I was in the taxi from airport I switched on my mobile and there were 12 text messages waiting in the inbox. There was one which brought a warm smile to my face....and it was from my daughter Z in Dublin. She has not contacted me for a while now....not since the message to say thank you for the money which I have sent to her last month. It was nice to receive anything from her....especially since I was thinking a lot about her during my travel. I mentioned about her with pride at every chance I had when my business associates have asked about my children. The message was asking me to pray for her to face her final exams on Monday. I guess a father will always feel nice and warm in the heart knowing his daughter thinks of him ...even if it only comes in time of need.

During flight I purposely did not eat the food which the airline served. I wanted to eat at home....and to share my travel stories with LiL. And I have a lot to tell.

The story begins......

"One night without change!

My baggage was locked in our company guest house, as the housekeeper made a dissapearing act on us. My business associate invited me to his home instead - which I happily accepted with relief. What could be worse than sleeping outside the door of the guesthouse ?! I thought.

As it turned out - the invitation was an eye opener of sorts.....and definitely another life's lesson for me.

My host, Dr K lives a bachelor life in a nice villa in the sub-urban of the city. His wife and adult children are living in London, which according to him in a mansion just as huge as the villa I was visiting. His neighbours are two other 'bachelors' also in their late fifties - being their own house-minders and also with their respective families living in London. I was invited to share a glimpse of the lives of three gentlemen in their late fifties who are the best of buddies - they reminded me of teenagers celebrating their freedom after being left at home alone. The only difference was - they were no teen agers, and their freedom was by choice.

That night, we shared take away grilled trout with rice and home cooked vegetables. I was without my suitcase and was feeling so uncomfortable without a change of clothes. Added to that, I had high temperature and was dizzy with fever. That night as I was listening to the three of them talking, I must have fallen asleep on the sofa. I woke up past midnight being tucked away nicely under a blanket with my socks removed and my shirts unbuttoned. They were still there....talking in whispers. I was shown to a spare bedroom, but only after they insisted that I swallow two panadols, and two tablets of vitamen C.

The next morning, I was awoken by some singing in the kitchen. The three of them have gathered again to prepare breakfast!! It was the most decilious tomatoe omellete served with fresh geen salads plucked from their gardens.....eaten with warm soft bread!! Three gentlemen, in happy spirit - and the best of buddies, looking after and caring for each other. And there is no other ties between them except they have been neighbours for some time.

That morning, I so much wanted to be a part of their circle. After breakfast, I suggested that I will cook curry for all of them. In their carefree fashion they whistled with joy and set cooking time to be 11am. As I was still feeling dizzy from fever, I rested on the sofa.....and must have drifted into sleep. Once again, it was the clammering and happy commotion in the kitchen which woke me up.....

"Lunch is ready.....!" Said one of the new friends I have made within the last 12 hours. And to be honest....I feel like I have known all three of them since childhood!!!

Such was their closeness, it felt like childhood friends reunited.

Their simplicity and attitude towards life and towards each other - made me choke with an overwhelming feeling of humility. It was by sheer misfortune due to being locked out that I got to be so fortunate to have met these three new friends. As we hugged and cheek kissing to say goodbye as what the locals there do - I hoped they could feel how much I have appreciated their friendship. I recovered from my fever, partly from effect of the panadols but mainly from the warm compassion they have shown.

As I was writing this, I can still hear what they said in responce to my questions when we were enjoying the tomatoe omellete....

I asked, "You have very nice villa here with matured gardens of fruit trees....and this cost at least a million dollars, and you have a mansion in London too.....that made you very rich. Why do you choose to live alone here and not with your family?"

They looked at each other smiling, then looked at me. One by one they elaborated with their own responces....all sounded very philosophical, but also very sincere.

One said, "Money only gives more option for our wives and children to go - but money does not make us happy like being here on our own land, in our own country."

Another said, "Money gives us option on how to live....but we have made up our mind on how and where we want to die." I felt silent and reflected hard and deep on both of them.

Lastly, my host said, "The real richness we value and treasure is being rich with friendship. We could not find this in London. Here we know we will never eat alone, and never die alone!" They all laughed mocking each other for what each have said. But it was a sort of mockery that only true close friends can make. And I laughed along with them but silently I was making a wish, I too will grow old and die with people I love. I made a mental note, that "If we know how and where we wish to die - we will learn and know how to live!"

Lil listened attentively to me concluding my story about the first night I was away from home. She reached for my hand and said, "Yes....we will grow old together! And we shall wish to die as good Muslims!!"

"InsyAAllah......" we both said in unison.

I told her I have more to tell.....but she reminded me maybe it is better if we get ready for bed. It is getting late.....she said!

Late? I asked. Afterall, it was only 11pm and tomorrow is a non-working day. She winked the moment I said the non working day!

*I was left there on the sofa grinning .......* as she left to go upstairs.

As they say, TGiF night!! hehehehe.

Yes, growing old together can indeed start tonight! I smiled at my own thought.

Buah cherry dan aprikot dari pohon di halaman rumah Dr K.

Bila suami keluar rumah....

you may also want to read.....
http://pakpayne.blogspot.com/2008/05/meeting-mat-sabu.html


What goes on inside a man's mind whenever he steps out of the door on the way to the airport for a business trip? As he takes that last glance to see his wife waving goodbye from the gate, what does he think about? And as the stewardess tries to settle him in his seat, does she notice a wedding ring on his finger or does she see a mark left by a ring which has been stowed away temporarily?

And, what goes on inside the mind of a wife left alone?

I know of a certain wife who feels lonely and insecure whenever her beau pulls his trolley bag out the door. Any out of ordinary action is viewed with suspicion. Why is he not in business suit as usual, but instead in Jeans and sneakers, and why is he changing to a different after-shave? Why doesn't he tell which hotel he will be staying, and why does he bring home fresh flowers the morning before he departs for his business trip? There have been far too many stories glorifying business trips and linking them to sordid affairs.

I know of a certain husband who feels lonely and insecure whenever he pulls his trolley bag out the door. He wonders why was his wife looking chirpy and her cheeks glowing as he waves goodbye? Would she be too lonely and seeks company outside of their house? And whenever he calls, why does she speak as if she has company? In the distance he hears the sound of flushing of a toilet. His heart misses a beat. Who is flushing the toilet if she is talking on the phone?

Do you know anyone who fits the above descriptions? - I do.

For people who has to do it regularly, travelling on business can be very mechanical, routine and a point-to-point thing. Home to airport-to-hotel-to meeting-to hotel-to airport-to-home! And yes, along the way - there are many distractions, attractions and temptations. There are things which are normally forbidden at home but widely available away from home. Of course, the saying that absence makes a heart grows fonder can be true too - the only thing is, the heart may grow fonder of something that is forbidden. The other saying tht grass always look greener on te other side - brings curiosity to try it out. And here, it works both way - for the one who is travelling and the one left behind!

Have you not been a witness to how your colleague transformed into a complete different personality during a business travel. This normally happens to people who rarely travel, and whenever that opportunity comes he behaves like he has just escaped from a life's imprisonment. As a malay saying goes, "Tak cukup tangan...semua dia mahu!"

I was once on a business trip to Manila with a friend. That was my tenth times and his first. As soon as we checked in, he knocked on my door. His curiousity about what goes on in Manila reached a point of no stopping. I obliged and agreed to take him out for a city tour. Just before we left the hotel he told me he needed to make a phone call to his wife. He moved away to the end of the hallway but from where I was, I could hear his side of the conversation. Below I illustrated what he said although not in verbatim, I captured the gist of his intention in making that call.

"Hello darling......"

"Yes, I have checked in.....and now it is raining cats and dogs"

"No...Pakpayne and I decided to just stay in the hotel and have dinner here. We have to sleep early because of early meeting tomorrow."

"I miss you already!"

"Bye....kiss boy for me."

And as soon as he said, bye bye to his wife, he punched the air, and said, "Yesss!! now we can go!"

Do you know anyone similar to the above character? - I do!

I also know of a friend who travels very frequently, until his wife became suspicious. She made it a point to send him off to the KLIA airport, and reassured herself that her husband was indeed travelling overseas for business. What she did not know was the husband never took the airport train to international departure, but instead has been taking flights to KB where he has another wife with a young child.

On the flip side, a close friend of mine was shocked when he returned home earlier than planned to find his wife fast asleep in the arms of his best friends - in their marital bed! Their marriage failed to withstand the test of separation. He has been faithful and not once fallen off track. She has found a perfect replacement to fill in the gaps. Tragic!

I know I am not being fair by painting only one side of the story - the black and gloomy side. Of course there are couples who live separately for months at a stretch and their love grew stronger! They got to know themselves better, and became closer to God - for His love fills any spaces available in their hearts.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....eluklah isteri yang ditinggalkan di temani olih muhrim jika anak2 sendiri masih kecil dan belum mengerti. Ada hikmahnya!

Bila suami keluar rumah.....eluklah suami tadi keluar dalam keadaan berbaik2 dan penuh kasih sayang. Cubalah elakkan dari meninggalkan rumah dalam keadaan marah-marah dan bermasam muka.

Bila suami keluar rumah....eluklah isteri menganggap dirinya dalam keadaan "iddah", kurangkan dari berhias atau bersosial.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....salinglah berhubung melalui telefon dan ucapkan kata-kata rindu.

Bila suami pulang dari merantau......isteri harus sambut lah dia dengan kegembiraan! Sediakan makan minum kegemarannya, dan berhiaslah diri se umpama itulah kali pertama bertemu! Lebih afdal, jika anak-anak di pastikan tidur awal...hehehehe

Suami yang pulang....harus membawa buah tangan tanda ingatan....dan se eluknya, bukan yang di beli dalam pesawat semasa penerbangan pulang! Berilah sedikit perhatian mengenai apa yang isteri suka dan berusaha mendapatkannya.

Bila suami keluar rumah.....Syaitan masuk bersama puak-puak mereka! Pagarilah diri dengan Solat dan AlQuran.

Suami yang merantau akan selalu mendapat bisikan dari para Syaitan juga.....waspadalah! Setidak-tidaknya, bentanglah sejadah di dalam bilik hotel penginapan.....percayalah, ianya akan menjauhkan maksiat dari memasuki ruang yang sama.

Be a DoBeDo ...

I came home from work today with a big plan to go for a movie & and to eat out with the family. LiL and the boys voted against it, and counter proposed for a Movie marathon at home and ordering home delivery bruger King for dinner. The idea sounds like a good one too...so I agreed. What a democratic family we have - perhaps more than can be said for the Boleh land!

Amirul got busy immediately setting up the screen and the projector complete with a set of home theatre speakers. Haziq brought down the air mattress! Luqman was getting comfortable with pillows and cushions. LiL made me a hot mug of tea. And we were ready!!

The first movie we watched was - I am Legion Legend! Luqman decided to skip his one due to its erratic horror scenes. We were glued to the big screen - only at the end to be quite dissappointed with its abrupt ending. Verdict : A dissappointment, looks like a cheap flick.

Next, we watched the TV3 Anugerah Juara Lagu. Back-dated, but with a feel of live telecast since we have not read about the results. Having our living room filled with Malaysian songs in its magical splendour was nostalgic! We love the ambience and a sense of being truly home. From start to finish, we were captivated and entertained. Verdict : Super show - and we fully agreed wth the judges decision.

Satu Bulletin Utama - Berbagai wajah menjelang pilihan Raya.
We took a break and ordered our burgers. While the boys were having their strecth, LiL and I decided to watch TV3 Bulletin Utama - Edisi Feb 14th. So, only a few hours after - we were watching the news almost live. With technology, even living abroad we can keep in-touch with what is going on back home. As expected - the headlines were about the General Election. I will write on the topic as my next entry! Watch this space.... ( In the mean while please respond to my Survey!)

Back to the big screen at home - our last movie for the night was 'Die Hard 4'. Wow - what a movie. Well acted, action packed, super visual effect and full of drama! Everyone loves it....we munched through our burger and fries without blinking.

Happiness is a moment created !

What's with all the above report of what we have done at home today. Surely it is a subject only interesting to the six of us....maybe, but that does not stop me from feeling proud of what we did today. hehehe
Well, I do believe in small cells of living. In my simple mind, this is the equation!
A happy individual makes a happy companion.
A happy family makes a happy neighbourhood.
A happy neighbourhood makes a happy society.
A happy society hopefully can multiply into a happy nation
which multiply further into a happy world.

I am trying to do my part - keeping our family as one unit, happy with what we have wherever we are, anytime. We break no laws, steal from no one, and think evil of no body. We want to believe, however naive it actually is, that everyone is born to be good.

Little pearls for today: Do-Be-Do!
Do = do happy things by yourself, or your own family.
Be = feel happy. Even if you have to fake it, keep faking happiness until you really feel happy.
Do = do more happy things with others. This is easier done if you are happy yourself!
A table Tennis game with the boys - in our garage - while waiting for the @home movie time.

Birthday Mak!

Today, LiL wanted me to tell everyone that she has read all of the comments and really appreciate the nice words, kind thoughts and prayers. She was deeply touched by your kindness.
She wanted me to say on her behalf " Thank You!".

I too want to thank you - for you have made someone I love dearly happy.
It is amazing how strangers can reach out and bring cheer and happiness to our lives.

LiL has been a friend to me since 1979. We were two young students doing our degree courses in Portsmouth way back then. She graduated with an Electrical & Elecronics degree and returned to Malaysia to build her career with Telekom Malaysia. She progressed to a senior position before resigning in 2002 in order to follow me on my expatriation. We were married on 13th Nov 1983 and been blessed with six most wonderful children. We have lived in Kuala Lumpur, JB, Singapore, Jeddah, and now Dubai. It is our hope that one day - we will return to Malaysia, a place we always call home.
Thank You again!



Below is the original Entry on LiL's birthday!

It is nice having grown up children. They can help with houseworks, be excellent sparring partners for a game of table tennis, teach me how to down-load songs from internet and even reminding me of significant events!
Amirul for instance sent me an email below.
Not that I have forgotten - oh no!! Hehehehe
See this email from Amirul.

B'day mak‏
From:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 1:54:55 AM
To:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)

ayah, o ayah..b'day mak tuesday ni.. ayah dah ader plan ker ntuk mak? nak beli present ker?
I took Amirul's reminder to also mean enquiring with a suggestive tone to participate in the planning to celebrate. So I replied....


RE: B'day mak‏
From:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 2:05:56 AM
To:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)

You ALL buat la birthday kad special punya. Pas tu beli present lah - kumpul duit setiap orang contribute. Along boleh contribute lebih sebab dia dah dapat gaji...

luv, A.
Then I received a reply back.

RE: B'day mak‏
From:
amirul ariffin (alien_g@hotmail.com)
Sent:
Sunday, February 10, 2008 2:08:40 AM
To:
ayah (ariffinm@hotmail.com)

eh2, kami2 pulak yg kene.. hehe
ayah tak buat aper2 ker?
That was where we left the exchanges of emails.
For LiL and I, we don't really celebrate birthdays, similarly we don't celebrate valentine days, mothers or father's or any other days like that. However we do take the opportunity to say - "I remember this day - because I love you" kind of messages lah!

"Happy birthday dearest!"

Pernah satu masa dulu aku bertanyakan isteri tercinta - apakah sebaik2 hadiah untuk mu dari ku?
Jawapnya ringkas - kasih sayang mu!
Tanya ku lagi - Jika kasih sayang itu dapat ku botolkan sebagai hadiah - apakah yang akan kau buat dengannya?
Jawapnya spontan - akan ku simpan di hati ku!
Lalu aku bertanya - jika aku ingin memberi satu kebendaan sebagai hadiah, apa kah yang paling bermakna bagi mu?
Jawap isteri ku - Semua itu sudah kau sediakan, aku cukup bersyukur dengan semua yang ada.



Sewaktu itu, apa yang kami ada tidak lah semewah mana. Namun, begitulah isteriku - orangnya tidak banyak meminta dan bersyukur dengan yang ada.
Ingin sahaja aku memberi tahu isteriku - dialah sebaik2 hadiah dari Allah untuk ku dan anak2 ku.

Your present unfortunately will not be arriving in time - still in the mail. Slow la pulak process nya kat sini walaupun dah lama di masukkan kedalam peti surat!....hehehe
Hanya "Sepucuk surat cinta dari ku" sebagai menghargai kehadiran mu di dalam hidupku - kerana aku cinta kamu!

Lessons from a green Beetle!

'Along' has been working for a week now. His office is a 10 minutes diversion from mine, so everyday for the past week I sent him to work and in the evening picked him up. But today he braved himself into driving our green beetle - by trailing me for direction.
No drama there!
In the evening, just before I left the office I called him, "Are you ok to drive alone or do you want me to wait?" I asked him, despite having told him in the morning that I was leaving early today.
"I am ok, ayah balek lah. See you at home" He tried to sound confident, but an ayah can sense the anxiety in his voice.

On the spur of the moment I decided to be there - in the shadow and follow him without him knowing. "I will follow him, just in case he lose his direction" I told LiL when I called her to say I will be late afterall.

I drove to where he parked the green beetle and parked myself out of sight. I reclined the seat to ensure I could not be seen. Then the waiting game started....
"I feel like a private investigator!" I sent a sms to LiL.
I tried to call a couple of friends.....their numbers were either busy or left unanswered. Perhaps they were stuck in traffic jam.
Then from the corner of my eyes I saw him approaching his car. I ducked lower....
He opened the car door and glanced around....I ducked even lower. I counted to twenty....and took a peep at his green beetle. It was gone...!!! Holy Mackerel......The car I was stalking were gone!!!

At that point I called LiL, " Dia dah hilang!"
"HAHAHAHA ....." LiL laughed, loud and got louder by the minutes.

I drove back - feeling a bit like a fool. *only a bit* hehehehe.
I reassured myself that 'Along' has a mobile and can call if he needs direction. I also checked this morning that the fuel tank was half full. On top of that I have shown him a few routes for the last one week, including the one which I missed a turn and had to make a U-turn a few kilometers out.

I arrived home to LiL's warm embrace at the door. "What happened?" She enquired, in the most symphathetic of tones. At that moments all my stress and tension of missing 'along' dissappeared.
"Spy malang....." I quipped. And we laughed together.

I was having dinner on the terrace when I saw the green beetle coming into our parking. A triumphant 'Along' came out and made a Victory sign!!! "I made it!!!" He shouted from below. From the terrace above LiL and I applauded.
"Well Done Along!"

When he came up to join me, I asked, "Which route did you take?"
"The one which I ayah had to take the U-turn!" He laughed. He too missed a turn.

lesson #1.
I have to learn to trust 'Along' and let him fly. To step aside and let him live his life....
lesson #2.
"If you duck too low, you may miss the game! If you stick out too high, you are an easy shot! .... the trick is to get the right balance"
lesson #3.
Coming home to a warm embrace wipes all the stress away! <---this one is for the wife. hehehehe
lesson #4.
If you show your child the wrong way, even if unintended, he may follow it! So be careful with what you do.....

Amirul turned fifteen.

For the last one year Amirul has been answering question about his age, "I am fifteen!". And Alhamdullillah, he did turn fifteen yesterday!

From now on I won't be surprised if he start saying to people that he is sixteen.
His maturity maturity is well beyond that. He is calm, thoughtful, and emotionally independent. At school he has been a high achiever and well liked by both his teachers and friends. He is naturally helpfull and considerate.



Amir was born in Tawakkal Hospital - Jalan Pahang, KL. He was the first of our children who was born and raised in Kuala Lumpur. 'Along', Angah and Achik were all born in Melaka, and spent their early years with their grand-parents and LiL and I were weekend parents.

On the day of his birth, I planted a mango tree in the front garden of our town house in Taman Melati. Fifteen years later, the tree is there in the greenest of health - but has been shy in bearing fruits. Not a single fruit yet. Amirul - Alhamdulillah is also in great health and I hope he will get to see the fruits for his passion in learning and pursuit of excellence.
Amirul is known amongst his siblings as the bookworm! He has read all of Harry Potter's and not once but twice. He has also finished all of Dan Brown's. Currently he is reading a novel by David and Leigh Eddings. He does not leave house without a book. People often asked, how did we teach him to like reading. Besides being ardent readers

ourselves, LiL and I didn't do anything specific.



Amirul simply loves mathematics. He is very good with puzzles and quizzes and loves to solve them. In our family he is the undisputed champion in SUDOKU. For his future career, he is still undecided - but leaning towards heavy science and mathematics. In March this year when he

has to spend a week in an industry as part of his school assignment - he has opted to get an assignment in an Account / Finance department. Hopefully the exposure to real business can help to guide his decision.

Yesterday LiL baked Amirul's birthday cakes herself and Luqman did the decorating on one of them.
When it comes to birthday presents, we have always been practical and buy what the birthday boy / girl needed rather than surprising them with what we feel they may like.
And Amirul has not decided what he wants yet. Angah on the other hand has decided. For her belated birthday present she wants a new laptop. Her current one was damaged the morning after she used it to chat with me and hinting that she wanted a new one. The way it got damaged? A glass of water spilled on it......!!! But that calls for another story.

This morning I am updating this entry while waiting for them to get ready to go to a very special breakfast invitation. It is special - we are going to meet the faraway.doc and her family who arrived in Dubai last night and staying at her BIL's house here.

For Amirul - Happy birthday son! May your journey be filled with love and His blessings and your destiny be met with lots of joy and happiness.

"Knock Knock......."

"Why does a golfer has to wear two pairs of pants?" My seven year old son Luqman asked.
"Because he is cold" I replied.
He giggled to himself. "No lah ayah! He wears two pairs of pants just in case he get a hole-in-one!". We laughed together. "That was so funny...." I said.

I had 30 wonderful minutes of private time with Luqman tonight. Just the two of us - locked in his bedroom. The light was switched off. We lied there next to each other, watching the full moon from his bedroom window.

"Knock knock...." He continued.
"Who is there...." I said.
"Luke..." He giggled.
"Luke who....?" I waited.
"Look thru the key hole you will know..." He was enjoying it.

After more exchanges of "knock knock ....", he suddenly asked me "Why you don't travel anymore ayah?"
"Because I like to stay home...."
"So last time you didn't like to stay home then?" He was quicker than I could think.
Ermmm.......I was trapped on that one and had to get out of it.
"Not like that. I changed job to the current one which allow me to stay home more - so that we can have more time together" I said, and hugged him.
"Yea....I like it this way". He whispered, then threw a spanner, "When I grow up, I will find a job which allow me to stay home - so that I can play knock knock with you at night".
I swallowed hard. I was choked.
"That is so sweet of you....." I managed a few words.

I watched him drifted into his sleep tonight. Something I have not done for a long time.......

In our own bed.
"Knock knock......." I said to LiL as I snuggled next to her under the duvet.
"The door is closed....and locked" She answered spontaneously.

Hehehehehe. I slept smiling......

A woman got to do what a woman got to do!

I was online with a lady friend who just came back from her vacation with her family - ten days in Europe and also visiting her BIL in Dublin! There was something we have to plan since her BIL, a family friend of LiL and I will be visiting Dubai with his family. The conversation didn't get very far beyond the normal greetings......**updated: She and her husband met up with LiL and I over lunch today - to continue discussion on the plans for our esteemed visitors from Dublin. K.D, I am not allowed to write any details......**

I: "How are you?
N: "Tired...I need a break"
I: "A break?......haven't you just got back from one?"
N: "A break to recover after doing what a woman got to do - after the break!".

I excused myself saying that I wanted to write about "A woman got to do what a woman got to do" in my blog. She was quick to stress a point - that she was not complaining!


After a long vacation trip, all a man wants to do is to re-connect with his buddies to catch up on the local scenes and activities. A man enjoys sharing his vacation stories - emphasizing parts which will make his buddies salivate with awe and envy. Which parts? Of course depends on who the persons are. When a friend went on a trip to Germany about a month back, he came back with stories of attractive long legged things walking the streets! Upon prompting, his story ended with him being a cowardly gentleman who hid from the evil intention of those long legged blue eyed things. But here, I digress long and wide from my original intention to write about the plight of the fairer half - our ladies of the house!

After a similar long trip, all a woman cares to do is to bring everything and everyone back into order. While her children go wild over their newly acquired but hardly required gadgets - she breaks her back unpacking the luggage and dumping all clothes into the washing machine. While her husband leans back on his lazy chair making plans for games of golf with his buddies, she goes on her knees polishing the floor from dirt and dust. A woman's maternal instinct wants to see her nest back to what it should be - in good order for nesting, nurturing, feeding, resting...etc etc.....orderly, neat, tidy and ready!
In so doing, she wastes no time. Bedsheets must be changed, refrigerator be defrosted and filled with fresh supply, all toilets flushed and windows opened for fresh air to flow. A thousand and one things to remember - and she remembers them all methodically and do them all without grudge. Tired yes......! But always taken with a spirit of "A woman got to do what a woman got to do!".

LiL, has been a Cinderella of our own house ever since we moved into this new home. She has so far, refused to take a maid. Being the only one with a maternal instinct, while we boys and men tried our best to help, she has been the one who does the laundry, cooks our meals, mops and dusts, and cleans up after much fun at the dining table has been long gone. Such is the nature of a laborious and lonely struggle of a housewife's things to do - mundane chores, plenty to do, never done and often unappreciated. LiL too - has a silent resolve of doing what a woman got to do in a grateful manner for what we have rather than complaining for what it can be!

Driving back from our soccer game today - I agreed with the boys that every weekend, we the males of the house will cook a complete meals for a day for the family. That will be starting this coming weekend - and I am already excited with the possibilities of a five star menu!
"Kita masak apa ayah?" tanya Along.
"Amir book bahagian potong-potong" sampuk Amirul.
"I don't want to end doing the cleaning up - so please give me something to do too" Haziq thinking ahead.
"Ermm....last time I potong halia kan ayah....can i do the same?" asked Luqmn who has been in a deep thought.
By the time we reached home, we still could not decide what to cook. But we will have one whole week to plan.......hehehehe! And for me, a week of bonding conversations with the boys!
Life is like that - if you make it like that.
In the end - each of us got to do what each of us got to do! If only we open our eyes, ears, and heart to see - then decide to share.

Re-union.....!

There is a re Union of some sort in our home. MIL and Achik arrived from Malaysia yesterday morning. Last night, the boys and I had a splashing time at the pool - our way of celebrating Achik's presence. Luqman was very expressive in showing how much he misses Achik and how much more he appreciates Achik's arrival.

MIL seemed happy to be with her cucu-cucu again. Her arrival is also special to both LiL and I, since this is the first time she visited us in Dubai and the first time we have an opportunity to show her some of the beautiful places in UAE and the nice friends we have made here. This Friday, we are driving to Ras Al-Khaimah, visiting a Malaysian friend cum a little sight-seeing.

Along ( still single and looking......hehehehe. this advert is done for free for him ) will be arriving soon, in December. This morning he was all excited when he went to collect a check I have sent to him through a friend from Dubai who has gone back to KL. He sent me an sms, "ayah, check dah ambik..tq v much. Now nak gi beli tiket!". Then before I could reply to that one, I received another one from him, "ps: anak pompuan pakcik tu sungguh lawa, dok study stpm". I sent a reply....and smiled to myself. Lil was curious and insisted on reading what I have said, so I showed her, "Go tekel, ayah sokong! ".

Unlike Achik ( single tapi masih menumpu kepada studies, no time for GFs ) who is here for a semester break, Along will be here for a long stay. He will be looking for a job here in Dubai and live with us. I look forward to welcoming him. Upon reflection, we have spent very little time living under one roof with Along. After birth he was living with LiL's parents until he was seven. Later on, he went to boarding schools and has been living independently either in hostels or in shared apartments. Now a young man, there are many possibilities of things he and I can do together!

Angah ( not interested in boys for now....hehehe ) in Dublin will be having her exams in December. She has hinted that she wanted to come to Dubai after her exams is over. I am leaving the option open.....and let she decides. Given that her studies will be completed in July next year, I prefer for her to use any vacation time she has to explore and see places in Europe. It is not that we do not miss her, it is just that I do not want her to miss the opportunity of maximizing her care free student days there......Having said that, deep down I know how wonderful it will be having all of our children for a big re-union in Dubai this year end.

About Hobbies...

My intention was to have a conversation engaging her into what I was doing.....but for some reasons she wasn't interested.

"What is your view about hobies?" I asked LiL. She was watching a crime series on showtime TV and I was trying to write an entry for my blog.
"Why" She asked me back. I knew from her tone that I was an irritant, as she was focusing to follow the dialogue of the 'Silent Witness' drama.
"I want to write about hobbies" Said I.
"What a boring subject" she said, hoping to end the conversation, except that I wasn't ready to give up. So I followed up with another question, "Why is it a boring subject?"
"It is an old topic, so it is boring..." She was obviously not interested to have a conversation - drama was at a suspence stage. She started to display her irritation through clear body language - to show that she'd rather do something else while watching TV than talking to me, she started to peel off dead skin from her soles.
"Yea, but I want to write about hobbies....so what is your view?" Beginning to feel irritated myself, I started to 'kuis kuis' her feet with my toes.
"You write la what you want to write - your hobby is writing kan? My hobby is only to read what you write - so tomorrow la I buat hobby I ok....ok or not" She said with a kind of look and a forced smile to disguise her silent scream, "Don't disturb me lah, I want to watch TV".

So.....there you go folks, my entry on 'Hobbies' which has taken a different twist - and arrive at a different conclusion from what I orginally intended to write about. It is still a valid conclusion - that two people with different hobbies can co-exist in harmony provided both accept and respect that the other may not share in your own hobby.

My original intention was to write about my new zest in pursuing one of my hobbies - as demonstrated here. However, tonight I will settle with this entry - afterall writing and upkeeping my blog is more than a hobby to me - it is a passion!

*Kuis kuis her feet some more....hehehe...sambil genyit mata!*

At the toy shop

Luqman had Aed200, a bribery present from me for agreeing to take school bus coming home. I will be sending them to school unless I travel, but coming back has been a problem since LiL does not have a driving license yet. So far we have been using Avis chauffeur car - too expensive to sustain.

He wanted to go the Toy shop to spend his money, so we were at the Emirates mall yesterday.
We strolled into the Toy Shop and told him to look for his toy. He walked from shelf to shelf, from one section to another - skipping those meant for babies and for girls.

In the beginning he was fascinated with a remote controlled model helicopter which can fly. He tried it...and I could see excitement in his eyes. He checked the price - it was Aed169, so within his budget. Then he asked, "Ayah.....does this use battery?" And in turn I asked the shop assistant.
"Yes, the remote control use 12 AAA batteries, and the Helicopter has be charged for 15 minutes after every 8 minutes of flying".
Frowning, he said, " That is too difficult to play, where got electricity to charge in the field. Too many batteries also lah ayah".
I smiled.
He moved on, losing interest in the Heli.

Next stop was a section of Paint-ball guns. There were many models, some even come in pairs for combat or single for shooting targets. His eyes brightened. He examined each model, looking at the pictures and reading what they are capable of doing. Then Amirul came and pulled his hand to another section in the shop.
I followed.

"Why don't you get this...." Amirul was trying to persuade Luqman to buy a red remote controlled Ferrari. I must say, I too quite liked the Ferrari, it looked so real and it cost only Aed249. I was willing to top up the additional 49 Dirham if Luqman were to buy it.
Luqman picked up the box, and said, "I only have 200, and I am not going to ask ayah for more money. Anyway, this thing use battery ....I dont want".
I was impressed!

LiL was looking at some jig saw puzzles. Haziq was equally interested with the Paint Ball gun and was trying to persuade Luqman to get the pair for combat. He was keen to be Luqman's combat partner. I could hear from behind the shelf, again Luqman rejected the model for combat because it cost more than what he had. Not realizing I was listening, Haziq was telling him to ask for more money from LiL.
"Don't you know Mom don't work, and she has no money" Luqman retorted.
Again, I smiled - impressed!

Last night at home, the gun was in action. All three boys were having great fun with their own little shooting competition. Mom and Dad had a little quiet time together which has been hard to get since we are still in a service apartment. Ah, I so look forward to Monday! We will be moving to our own house then.

Family matters!

Since the start of school, I have been driving the three boys to their respective schools every morning. The journey from our residential apartment to both Amirul and Haziq's school and then to Luqman's school takes about an hour, and then a return trip of forty five minutes. It has been a long time since I spent as much quality time with the boys and LiL every morning.
LiL and the boys seemed to enjoy the ride as much as I do.
We talk about their school lessons, new friends, and some of their new experiences.

Amirul for example, is into this project of writing a guide book for tourists to cross the the plain of America in the days of the Red Indians. In the last couple of days, I have learnt a lot about ancient America by listening to his research.

Haziq has written an essay on "The most memorable moments during the summer holiday". We asked him to read his essay during one of the morning drive, and both LiL and I were touched listening to his account of the day we spent at the orphanage.
Of all the things he did, he remembers the day at Darul Izzah with the children there the most.

Luqman, has been both funny and so sweet every time we approach his school. Last week, he said to us "Please touch my heart, it is beating so fast...I think I am scared". LiL did touch, and she confirmed that he was anxious. We tried to understand the cause of his anxiety. It was the Religious lessons. He has been anxious in trying to memorize some of the Ssurah and Doa taught.
This morning, I thought he was so cute when he said to LiL just before they left the car, "Mom, please don't kiss me in front of the whole school. Just kiss me in the car like Ayah does".
Hehehehe....

I am reconsidering the decision to hire a driver. Time with Family matters!
Finally I got to see how they are early mornings - the good, the grumpy, and the cute side of my boys.

After six days of fasting, Luqman still break fasts at 2pm daily. He was so proud today for not eating in school despite one of his classmates celebrated her birthday and they served out cupcakes. We congratulated him.....and quietly I made a mental note to buy him some cupcakes soon.