"Men like that....."

What does a veteran player do on the morning of the tournament day?
I had a hearty breakfast of cereals, and LiL's homemade burger. I had a good rub-down ... working on my muscle and limbs. Then asked the boys to go swimming, but instead they prefer to finish their homework.
So, I logged on my YM.....and online were umie and this young lady. Buzzed both, but umie was not at her desk....
The young lady replied, and I asked about her plans of the coming weekends. So I knew she will be driving back with her lil sister to spend time and having a BBQ with her dad. Great stuff!
She shared the news that she had her tongue pierced with diamond stud ... super cool!! I cringed with pain. The thought of having a tongue pierced scares me......for that matter, the thought of having any part of me pierced scares me. I told her so.....
But then, she said, "Abg id, when you have your heart pierced time and time again by irresponsible men ...then the pain of piercing a tongue is nothing.....".
I paused at that.
I probed further to get more details, but she refused politely. "Private tu abg id. But I hope you can write about - how to deal with men like that"
I paused further.
Ermm...reflected. I know many such men, but needed to know if she thought that I was one of them. She said, NO. I told her I am not an expert on the subject of "men like that" but agreed to give it a go at writing. At this point, my son Adie came online and i introduced the two of them to continue chatting while I went into writing this entry.
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"Men like that" are normally married, past mid thirties into early forties, normally successful in their profession, well read which makes them appearing wise and smart, and generally happy with their marriages but are looking for some excitement outside. They wear only labelled clothes ( Striped Ralph Laurent shirts are popular amongst this group ), and usually generous with their credit cards. "Men like that" meets after work or during lunch and seldom available during weekends. They will never give their house number!

"Men like that" know their target. They want someone who they think they can conquer with minimum investment, and least complication. They will make up stories - about how their wives are not 'layan-ing' them and they are therefore 'lonely'. Girls - be careful of these type for the only 'lonely' person after they get what they want will be you.

What do they want? The answer can come in so many terms, said in so many ways like
"You are so beautiful, I wish i had met you before I met my wife"<----Normally said with his eyes gazing yours, and his hands reaching out for yours. "You reminded me of my childhood girl-friend, I wish I can find her again. But now I found you...maybe it is fated that we meet". <----Said with a smile, his hands searching for an opening in your skirt. But, no matter how it is said, they want only one thing - 'a good time'. "Men like that" are normally serial daters - they move from one target to another -either taking rejections gracefully or breaking hearts coldly along the way. They normally spend the first couple of dates to assess their chances and how big are the risk of complication. And if they smell 'nasik minyak' in the conversation ... they will find excuses to cool down the expectation.
"Men like that" are allergic to commitments.

Favourite targets for "men like that" are ladies in their early thirties or late twenties who have gone through heartbreaks before. They go after these girls, especially ones with open minds like lalat langau bees go after a pot of honey. Some of these "Men like that" will even promise matrimony - if the 'victims' are so hot in their lusty eyes. "Janji dapat!"

So, with those revelations about 'men like that' i hope 'gals who are NOT like that' can be more careful in looking after their tender and fragile hearts.
Here is a veteran player signing off, ready for the game this afternoon.

No where to hide!

I am feeling exposed. In fact this feeling of vulnerability has been in my shadow ever since I started blogging in March 2006.

I have had a few suprises already from the cyber space. I first started blogging anonymously - no real names and no real photos. The stories were wild and imagined. Then one morning, I woke up to find LiL glued to the desktop instead on frying eggs for my breakfast. "I am reading this blog - wow, this one is so hot!" She said, urging me to come and share what she was reading. One glance I knew she was reading my blog ......and by then, I have written a few stories already. I did not close the window of my page the night before....and that was how she first found the 'travelers tales' blog as it was named then. I had a choice, and I chose to admit to her that it was my blog! From that morning onwards, I was no longer an anonymous writer and she has signed up as my number one fan.

Since then I have made the site private, but would grant permission to interested readers. Just ask....I have shifted from 'hot' stories to be more real by the day, although I kept the assumed cyber name of 'idham'. I started to write true stories about our families and shared family pictures too. A bold move.....

My second surprise was when one day I found this comment in my blog, "Found your blog, nice one!" signed by my boss from my previous employer in Dubai. I was keeping my blog a secret from office colleagues. However he was googling, and some key words he had used listed my blog as one of the sites matched. Although my name was different, my picture was a dead give-away.

Then, one day I followed the link from my site meter, and found a few of my entries 'word for word' sitting pretty in someone else's blog. I made no fuss. Then another trail led me to one of my poems which has been translated to French - but the person gave credit to me as the original writer. At least he or she had the civic mindedness to acknowledge.

Tonight, another trail from my sitemeter led me to a summary of every single one of my entries.......here. Wow! I was shocked that such thing is available. When I changed the serial number, it led to another person's blog and every single one of the entries there also appeared.

This site is actually very useful to see and track a particular blog of our interest. If only we know what the blog's serial number is....

This morning, LiL sent me this sms, "Congrats, ur blog is in the top 40....go to www.theblogrevenue.com".

Erm, yet another one of those rating or ranking sites....I really do not care much for ranking. I earn nothing and gain nothing. The only satisfaction I derive is when I know I have made connection with a few people through my blog.

I am sitting here feeling amazed, surprised, scared with what goes on behind the scenes in the cyberspace - unknown to many of us.

It gets me to think, that for young people - it is prudent to be very careful with what one puts up in cyber space - it may haunts you back in the future. It may in fact limit one's future! I have known of employers who conduct cyber seach on candidates to see what are associated with him or her.

I googled and found a blog belonging to my son, aD. One blogger from my previous school has included me in his blogroll together with all of other sites related to the school - which has exposed me to the community of old boys from the same school. Is this good or bad.....does not really matter. But it sure made me nervous.....knowing that those old-boys knew me from the past......of being six years in a boarding school together. hehehehe!

No where to hide!

ps: latest, someone in the family requested me to bring readers here.

Circle of trust...

Trust - Like the waves trusting the shore...!

Networking, be in real life or in cyberworld follows certain code of conduct if it is to stand the test of time. Through blogging we share our stories and gain gratification from knowing that someone on the other end of the internet waves reads and have a reaction to what we wrote. While the code of conduct in my view, does not impose on everyone to agree with what we write - however, it does include that we maintain respect.


I have enjoyed two years of networking through my blog, bakpo. In those two years I have sang many birthday songs for fellow bloggers, congratulated many single persons who ended in marriages, gone through bereavements, and have met so many genuinely wonderful, inspiring & trustworthy individuals.
My circle of trust opens wide - with me believing and trusting that everyone out there share the same good will, big heart, and generousity and kindness which I have seen in many whom I have personally met. Alas.....the world is a whirpool. It sucks you in if you let your guard down.
I learnt, that a circle of trust has to be managed. I must know who is in my circle before I can fully trust them.
I have always been a person who starts off any relationship by trusting people first until my trust is broken. I will continue that way.


"Sugar is sweet ....and so are people. But, sugar doesn't betray you!"

Life of a bapak!

'bapak' yang harus kita bersimpati

My idea of a macho 'bapak'

I stole the title from this blog.

This topic can be expanded into a novel - of maybe 500 pages. Afterall, I have been a bapak for the last 23 years - and to six anak! However, my story as a bapak will not be half as interesting and LiL's story as an ibu. So to any would be publishers, you are well advised to go along with her story ....

But I do have a story to tell. My target audience is not any would be bapak - hence this is not for educational purposes! It is also not for existing bapaks - you already have a story of your own to deal with. This story is for ibu-ibu....hehehehe.....especially ibu-ibu who are currently unhappy with their own bapak-bapak.

"As a bapak we sleep late, wake up late, have our foods served on silver plates. We don't do dishes nor wash our own clothes. We could never find sugar jars nor the tin openers from ibu's kitchen whenever 'ibu' is not around. It puzzles us why 'ibu' don't just leave everything everywhere - which makes it easier to find. Afterall, we always find our remote controls and that is because we simply leave them everywhere.

One more thing you need to know, we bapak are deaf to any babies crying at night. We simply can't hear their wailing. Changing diapers is a no no. That is so ibu-ibu and not sightly for us bapak to be seen doing so. We will be a laughing stock amongst our friends. You wouldn't want us to be laughed at, do you?

If we go shopping together, we can't be seen carrying your shopping bags. Please ask one of our childen to do so if you need help. Cammon la, as a bapak we are too busy to show our children to do their homework la.....and any little time we have is to catch up with our mates over teh tarik at a mamak stall.

And who says that as bapak we need to have decent conversation with our children. Isn't it enough that we provide them with their pocket money and we ocassionally make grunting sound and nod our head when they talk to us.

As ibu, please don't be annoyed of we kick off our shoes anywhere and leave them there for you to pick them and store carefully in the shoe rack. It is an accepted bapak's habit.....for centuries.

If we turn over and snore after our 'little bedtime game' - it is because as a bapak we must rest for tomorrow's work. Anyway, what is ibu doing staying awake for? We bapak find that hard to understand.

Life as a bapak is 'hunting' to bring foods home. Sometimes as a bapak we come home injured - emotional drained, physically exhausted, and mentally jaded. We then expect 'ibu' to swallow all of her own frustrations and tend to us without questions. Other times, we come home expecting a lot - hot tea in a cup on a saucer, 'ibu' in her best home dress with glossy lipstick freshly applied, children quietly doing their homework in their own rooms, soft musics playing, and 'ibu' looking at us adoringly while we unwind from another hard days work. A bapak - afterall is the King of his castle."

If I remind you of someone in your own house - take solace in the similarity. If I sounds far fetched from the hero character you have read in so many novels - stop believing the novels. Life is far too real for you to live in a fantasy land. :-)

Ok, I do the odd dishes. And I do take out the garbage bins. Ah yes, I am the one who goes round the house at night making sure all doors and windows are locked. And more often than not, I am the one who volunteer first to give LiL her shoulder massage....which often leads her to return the favour. But I am no angel, and wish to remain as the King of my house. Hehehe

This entry is partly inspired by a Korean series I watched on cable TV today - Two 'bapaks' were put side by side to share what type of a 'bapak' they are. One is a successful sugeon - and he sounded in control of his destiny. Another is a singer - he potrayed himself as an ideal husband who does dishes and all sort of chores. The surgeon looked like a happier man, looking youthful despite them being of the same age group (Mid fourties). The singer sounded very bitter. One of the things the surgeon said is worthy of repetition "A bapak who focus too much in pleasing his wife often compromises his ability to be at his best in his work and not so good socially as well".
To which the singer replied spontaneously,
"No wonder I have not a hit song for years - I have spent too much time doing the dishes".

My point from this rambling is .......to all 'ibu-ibu' and including my 'beloved ibu - LiL ( hehehe....I am smiling sheepishly) treat your man like a king in his palace - and he will be happier, stay youthful for longer, and become more successful in his career too. And it is more likely that your King will treat you like a special queen after the bedroom light is switched off......when it matters on the mattresses!

But if you let your 'bapak' slaves it out at home - he will be one grudgingly, believe me! Just look at the top picture.....do you think he is a happy man? We would not want to be seen in his company.....not in a million years. hahahaha

Now - I am ready to be shot!!! hehehehe